A/N: I’m terrified of writing Ellie wrong. She’s not just this one-note badass. She’s layered — a quiet dork who would rather talk about space than feelings. This fic is for anyone who misses her subtle moments. Who still hears the silence after Santa Barba
She went back to Jackson, and after some time and healing, got back with Dina
She went back to Jackson but didn’t get back with Dina
She went to Jackson, but eventually left again (add what you think she did after
She stayed around the Jackson area like a ranger but didn’t rejoin the community
She wanders freely, always moving, never settling
She settled somewhere else entirely
She went to Catalina to continue harassing Abby
Went to Catalina by chance for an unrelated reason
Went to a QZ and joined FEDRA
Went to a QZ and became a smuggler like Joel
She died (add what cause you think)
Other (add in comments or reblogs)
Voting ended onFeb 16
I don’t think Ellie rejoined Jackson, at least not for any significant amounts of time. All her ties to the community (that are shown) are dead or drastically different. Aside from Maria, I guess. Like in her journal, even if she found peace, she’d be ashamed of herself, and being in Jackson wouldn’t help.
I also think she didn’t (and shouldn’t) get back together with Dina. I love them together, but I love it for the tragedy, and I’d like to see the consequences stick.
My idea of post epilogue Ellie is mostly formed by an AO3 fic ‘the Apple doesn’t fall far,’ or something similarly named. It’s where Ellie stays in the region, traveling around but living in solitude mostly. She trades with Jackson and talks with Maria occasionally, and eventually meets a 16 year old JJ when he’s on patrol. It’s a great fic.
I would want to see Ellie in a parental role. Firstly because of how it would bring her back to Joel, and secondly because of the fact that she was an actual parent. She raised JJ for at least a year, and while her PTSD stopped her from fully connecting, she was a pretty good mom. Becoming a parental figure would be a nice redemption after she abandoned Dina and JJ, but it’s also something we’ve seen in the series a lot, so I wouldn’t be mad if it wasn’t part of a future story.
Tell me what you think happened in the comments or reblogs
I’ve had this in the works since January. I wanted to post it when the first episode of the HBO series came out. But uh… it didn’t happen because this ended up waayy longer than planned. This photo was taken in TLOU2 Photomode by @kevinphotomode!
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four
Warnings: Post-TLOU2, Apocalyptic Racism (young Reader), Racial Killing (young Reader’s parents), PTSD, Flashbacks, Trauma, Nightmares, Talks about Violent Murders, Past revenge Murder, Grief, Deadly Infection of Limbs, Prothetic Limbs, Dissociation, Heavy Depression, Low Self-Worth (Ellie), Reader lives on a Homestead, First Kiss (young Reader), Childhood crush, First time, Fingering
Summary: You weren’t expecting to see Ellie on your porch after six years - nor her passing out shortly after. You nurse her back to health from the verge of death, and the two of you bond through your shared traumas… and memories.
~ Late Fall of the Year 2039 ~
You hum as you begin cutting into the deer, carefully maneuvering your knife so you don’t puncture any organs. The soft thunk from the blood dropping into the bucket steadily gets louder the bigger you make the incision. A woof has you pausing and smiling at your dog who decides to sit at your heels. You reach down to pat Scout’s head before turning your attention back to the deer. You’d be able to quarter it and bag it once all the organs are out.
“We’ll be eating really well this fall, Scout. We got lucky with this one. It should last us until the spring.” You talk to him, “That means the next one should hold us over for spring, and you might get a new blanket.” An excited woof is your response, making you giggle. Soon, with practiced ease, the organs are removed and all the excess blood is in the bucket.
“Okay, Scout.” You pick up the bucket and he takes it from your hand, “Take this to the drop-off, and be careful.” Scout turns and heads off into the woods to your usual disposal site. The smell of the blood and guts attracted the infected so your family made a trap point to focus on them. You’d head out there once the meat was safely stored to torch any that wandered in.
By the time Scout returns with the clean bucket, you’ve removed the legs and head from the deer. The two of you finish up your routine with you removing the meat while Scout ran the inedible pieces to the drop. Now was time to make the trip back to the house, so you loaded up and headed back to your meadow. ‘I’ll have to check on the chickens and make sure there are no entries into their coup. I’ve got to keep them warm and the predators out.’ You remind yourself. ‘Then, it’s checking over the house and making sure nothing will get too cold.’ Suddenly, Scout starts barking, jolting you out of your thoughts as he takes off running toward the house.
“Scout!” You shout and run after him, pulling your shotgun from your bag. ‘Ah, hell! I hope it’s just a false alarm!’ The last time he reacted like this, some infected had managed to get inside from a busted area in the fence. A tree had collapsed during a storm, attracting the few in the forest, and you had to spend a few days fixing it. You grit your teeth, lifting your gun as you round the corner of the house. It’s been a while since you’ve had to use it on a human, but that didn’t mean you would hesitate with it.
The sound of Scout’s barks mixes with what sounds like… laughter? Your eyes widen when you see a woman standing on your porch, trying to calm down Scout as he jumps up and licks her face. You watch in shock, slowly lowering your gun as you listen to the laughter while trying to process the sight. The woman looks up at you, her face showing relief as a tired smile makes its way across her lips. It takes a moment, but you realize that you met this woman a few years ago when the two of you were much smaller.
“So um… I’m Ellie. Like Joel said.” Ellie reintroduces herself to you. You glance at your parents who are walking inside with Joel before you turn back to her with a grin.
“Hi, Ellie! I’m Y/n!” You greet her, lifting your clippers to show her, “Do you want to come up to my room with me? I have some books we can go through!”
“What kind of books?” Ellie raises an eyebrow.
“Ah, space-”
“Space?!” Ellie shouts and then her face goes red, “I-I mean- Space? That’s cool. I like space.” You gasp, grab her hand, and start dragging her to your room.
“Oh my god, that’s fucking amazing!” You squeal, “I actually have a telescope we can look through if you end up staying the night! Have you ever looked through one before? It’s so cool. My dad had found one for me last year…” You ramble to Ellie the whole way.
“Ellie?” You blurt out in shock, hurrying to put the safety back on your gun. You grin at her, suddenly feeling happy about the unexpected company. It’s been just you and Scout for way too long.
“Hey, Y/n.” Ellie says before her eyes roll back and she faints, falling onto your deck with a loud thud.
“ELLIE?!” You shriek, flinging your gun to the ground as you sprint to her. Scout freaks out as you hurriedly drop down and feel for her pulse. The firm beat only calms you down slightly before you open the front door and pick her up. You rush to the guest room, kicking the door open to place her on the bed. Mindlessly, you’re yanking at her clothes and taking off all the layers so you can inspect her for any bites. You pause as you’re removing her jacket, seeing her left hand bandaged and clearly missing parts of her fingers. You take a moment to unwind the bandages and a soft gasp leaves your lips. ‘It’s infected. I’ll check that after I confirm she’s not bitten.’ You shake your head and get back to work. You find no bite marks, only a tattoo on her arm along with dozens of scars all over her. You knew she’d be annoyed that you stripped her, but you didn’t have a choice. Finally, you press your hand to her forehead and hiss in aggravation. ‘She’s running a fever.’ You sigh, carefully picking up her injured hand. ‘It’s likely because of this infection.’ You examine the wound, noting that it must’ve reopened at some point as there are signs of old stitches.
Scout noisily comes into the room, making you glance at him and see him dragging a backpack that you assume to be Ellie’s. You put Ellie’s hand down and take it from him, patting him on the head before placing it on the desk. Your eyes linger on the numerous weapons sticking out of it, wondering when she learned to use a bow and arrow. ‘She had quite a few the last time she and Joel came by, but this is my first time seeing them up close.’ You sigh and look back to the woman passed out in your bed. ‘What happened to you?’ You frown.
“Alright, Scout. Why don’t we get back to work, huh boy? I have a feeling Ellie will be asleep for a while. Once I get the meat stored, I’ll work on helping her through this infection.” You look down at him. Scout whines, pawing at his face before pointing to Ellie. You give him a soft smile, reaching down to ruffle his fur. He liked Ellie when she came by last time, so it was nice to see him caring for her.
“You watch her for me, then. I’ll get this sorted out.” You motion to the meat, making him woof happily before he jumps onto the edge of the bed and lays down next to her.
It was two weeks before Ellie woke up. The first few days were the worst, keeping her from falling into a coma and injecting her with antibiotics. You wiped her body down with cold water from the river in an effort to break her fever. Once her fever broke, you were able to relax a little but she was still fighting off death. Her rest was fitful, causing Scout to come to fetch you more than a few times out of worry. You left him in charge of her since you couldn’t be at her side. She’d open her eyes and deliriously mumble things to you before falling asleep again. You alternated between tea, water, and soup, briefly waking her up to get her to drink them. Ellie was barely conscious, even when you fed her and it worried you. While you went around and prepared for the winter months, she stayed at the front of your mind the whole time.
You were in the middle of chopping firewood when Scout came sprinting out to you, barking like a madman, before sprinting back into the house. You followed after him, racking up your axe along the way and stumbling up the steps as you hurried to remove your boots. Your pulse is racing and you’re fearing the worst. She had been getting better, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t come back overnight. Ellie’s voice is horribly broken and raspy as you hear her talk to Scout, and you lean in the doorway as he rolls all over her.
“You’re awake.” You exhale in relief, seeing the energy in her movements as she looks up at you, “I was so worried when you collapsed.” You walk into the room, grab the glass of water on the dresser and take a seat at the edge of the bed. You help her take the first few swallows, gently wiping away a drop of water from her chin.
“...I’m sorry.” Ellie sighs, accepting the glass from you, “I didn’t know if I’d make it here if I’m honest.” She lifts the glass to her mouth and you watch for any shakiness. Her hand trembles slightly, so you keep your hand up to support her.
“You had a horrible infection in your fingers that traveled into your body. You went septic, Ellie.” You frown and cross your arms, “You’re lucky I know how to treat that. What happened?” That question makes her pause and she slowly lowers the glass with a heavy sigh. You turn to her, bringing your legs up to tuck them under you. She’s quiet for a moment, staring at the water as she chews at her lip.
“You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry for asking.” You place a hand on her leg, “It seems like it’s something heavy.”
“No. I- Fuck.” Ellie groans, running a hand through her hair, “Joel’s dead. Murdered.” She says suddenly, recoiling at her news. ‘Murdered?!’ You straighten up in alarm.
“I chased after his murderer, leaving the little family I had behind, and long story short… I couldn’t do it.” Ellie fiddles with her bandages, “Kill her, that is. I was so close to it, but in the end, I couldn’t do it. She uh… bit my fingers off in the fight.” She lifts her hand, flashing you an awkward smile at you before dropping her hand into her lap.
“Ellie. I-” You flounder for the right words, in complete disbelief, “-I’m so sorry.” You wrap your arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug that she stiffens up in. When you go to pull away, she relaxes into your arms and hugs you back. She tightens her grip on you and starts sobbing as she buries her face into your neck. You feel your heart break as her tears run down your neck, and you shift around so she’s sitting on your lap while she cries. You practically cradle Ellie in your lap, letting her cry as you try to comfort her. She tearfully rambles about everything that happened as she tried to get to your home, unloading on you in her distraught state and leaving you speechless. You were the only person Ellie could go to… Scout had jumped up and laid his head on her leg, letting her shakily play with his fur. By the end of it, she fell asleep. You take a deep breath, laying her down as you try to process what was said, and Scout wedges between you two with a whine.
“I know, bud.” You stroke his fur, wiping tears from your own eyes, “I didn’t expect that either, but it makes sense why she showed up in such a horrible condition.” You sigh and glance at the sleeping woman next to you. ‘She looks so peaceful after going through all of that.’ You delicately wipe the tear tracks from her face and go to get out of bed. Scout whines, gently grabbing your wrist in his mouth and making you pause.
“Scout…” You sigh and he whines again, tugging you back toward the bed. You glance at the door, thinking about all of the things you need to do, but Scout insists. ‘Winter won’t be here for a month. I can rest for a day. Besides, I’m ahead of schedule.’
“Okay, okay.” You laugh softly, getting back into the bed and laying down, “...Happy?” You raise an eyebrow at him. He woofs and licks your face, making you giggle and push his snout away. You lay there and pet him, accidentally falling asleep in the process.
You feel warm when you wake up. Warm, comfortable, and… stuck? You open your eyes, confusedly looking to your left, and come face to face with Ellie. You blink sleepily, your mind taking more than a few seconds to catch up to the situation. You let out a squeak, feeling your face heat up as her breath fans across your cheek. ‘I-I’m in Ellie’s arms.’ You shift ever so slightly and you’re well aware of the complicated position you’re in. Her arms are tight around your waist, one of yours is tucked under her head while the other is across her waist. Your legs were intertwined and the two of you were practically chest to chest. ‘How did we get into this position?’ You swallow, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. ‘There’s no way I can get out of this without waking her.’
Your heart drops when you notice that Ellie’s eyelids are fluttering. ‘No. No. No! Don’t wake up now!’ You panic and do the only thing that comes to mind… you shut your eyes. You feel her grip on your waist tighten, a sharp intake of breath following shortly after.
“Shit.” Ellie whispers, “How the fuck…?” There’s a pause before she’s shifting, trying to untangle herself from you. Except, that’s not possible without waking you up. She stops after a few seconds and lets out a deep sigh.
“…Y/n.” Ellie says quietly, “…Y/n, wake up.” She shakes you slightly with her free hand. You slowly open your eyes as she continues to shake you. The blush on your face is back the moment you meet her green eyes.
“Morning.” Ellie says sheepishly, her cheeks turning pink, “We’re um… a little tangled.”
“R-Right.” You stutter and the two of you work together to get yourselves separated. It takes a minute, your legs being the issue but you manage to get free.
“Sorry, Scout begged me to lay down after you fell asleep. I didn’t plan on falling asleep next to you.” You fidget with your flannel sleeve, glancing at the dog looking at you from his doggy bed. ‘You sneaky mutt. When did you bring your dog bed in here?!’
“It’s okay.” Ellie sighs, “Um, can I get something to eat? I’m starving.”
“Oh! Yes, of course! You can jump into the shower and I’ll leave a change of clothes on your bed for you. The towels are in the closet.” You perk up, immediately heading to the door, “You’re okay with eggs and bread for breakfast?”
“Eggs and bread?” Ellie blinks.
“We have a patch of…” You pause at the surprised look on her face, “Eggs and bread it is.” You flash her a smile and leave the room. The first thing you do is grab her a change of clothes and place the neatly folded pile on the bed. You can hear the water running and you frown, wondering just how long it took for her to get to you on foot. ‘She came all the way from California.’ You head out to the chicken coup and gather up the eggs, happy that you have enough for a big meal. You practically skip into the kitchen and get to work chopping up some vegetables.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Ellie says from behind you, making you pause. You turn to her and smile, seeing that she looks a lot better now that she was able to get cleaned up. ‘Wait.’ Your eyes flick down to your waist, seeing the black and white shirt on Ellie. ‘When did she get my flannel?’
“Can you get the bacon out and chop it up?” You point to the freezer, “It’s in a labeled ziplock bag.”
“You have bacon?” Ellie gasps, darting to the freezer and you turn back to your vegetables. ‘Did I accidentally leave it on the bed?’
“My mom was in the process of making improvements the first time you came by. Now I have pigs, chickens, a dairy cow, and a few goats. Bacon is for rare occasions, but I think you being here calls for it.” You place the vegetables into the hot frying pan and Ellie takes your place at the cutting board.
“I’m not that special.” Ellie chuckles, taking out some of the bacon and cutting it up, “I met you once when we were kids.” You can’t help but watch how skillfully she uses the knife, moving quickly and precisely. The pop of the oil in the pan snaps you out of your staring.
“You’re a friend I haven’t seen in years.” You roll your eyes, glancing at her, “Yes. Yes, you are that special.” You and Ellie briefly make eye contact and you smile as you look away. ‘Either way, she looks good with it on.’
“Why?” Ellie gives you a curious look.
“You were the first kid my age my parents let me play with. When any other Firefly kid came through I had to stay away from them. They never told me why… just said it was for my safety.” Ellie was more than the first kid you played with. She was your first crush and first kiss.
“So the few days Joel and I stayed…”
“Were the best days of my life.” You smile at her, making her eyes widen. You stare at each other for a bit before you clear your throat and go back to your tasks.
“Do you want me to toss them in like this?” Ellie lifts the cutting board. You glance at the chopped-up pieces and nod your head. She dumps them into the pan and it’s not long before the bacon is sizzling. You head for the eggs, cracking them onto a bowl before whisking them up. Without you having to ask, Ellie takes your place at the pan and keeps an eye on them. You idly wonder where she learned to cook eggs. Soon you’re plating the omelets and grabbing your bread box.
“So, you make bread?” Ellie leans against the counter next to you.
“I do.” You grin, pulling the fresh loaf from the box, “My grandma had her recipe books. Each one was for something different. Soups, breads, sweets. I spent a lot of time reading them and learning how to make the things in them.” You hear Ellie gasp as you take it out of the bag and place it down on the clean cutting board. It was baked yesterday morning before you headed out to gather wood.
“Holy shit!” Ellie exclaims, making you laugh. You grab your knife, cut a few decent-sized slices, and put them onto the plate. You hand Ellie her plate and the two of you walk to the table, Scout happily following you. You put your plate down across from her, quickly grabbing the hibiscus tea out of the fridge.
“Do you want some tea? I-”
“-I’d love some. Thank you.” Ellie interrupts you, making you smile. You pour out some for her, sit down once your glasses are full, and take a sip. Ellie does the same, her eyes widening as she licks a drop from her lips.
“That’s good.” Ellie looks at you, “Really good.”
“I’m glad you like it.” You giggle, “You can have some more if you finish that glass. My mom looted all of the closed stores when the pandemic first started. The town was empty so she took advantage.”
“I might take you up on that.” Ellie says before taking a bite out of her eggs. You blush when you hear her let out a low moan. Your eyes dart up, seeing her looking at you with an awed gaze.
“You… like it?” You let out a small, flustered giggle.
“This is the best thing I’ve eaten in months.” Ellie sighs blissfully.
“How long did it take for you to get here?” You ask in between bites, “You left that out yesterday.”
“Five months.” Ellie says, breaking her bread in two, “Tracking time gets tedious when you’re traveling, so it could be shorter or longer.” You give her a sad smile, watching for a few seconds as she digs into the meal. She came looking for you after that fight… and nearly died in the process. It saddened you to know that you were likely the only person she could rely on.
“When we’re done, I’ll check your stitches. I’ll need to keep a close eye on them to make sure they don’t get infected again and heal properly.” You state.
“Thank you, by the way.” Ellie sighs, moving a piece of her omelet around with her fork, “Thank you for caring for me these past few weeks. I… You were the first person I thought of and I desperately needed a safe place to go.”
“Ellie.” You reach across the table and touch her hand, making her look at you, “I told you six years ago… you’re welcome here. Once your hand is healed, if you choose to leave, you can. Until then, don’t worry about being here. I’ll take care of you. Just focus on getting better.” Ellie stares at you, seeming to be far away… a look you’ve grown accustomed to seeing.
“Thank- you.” Her voice cracks as tears spring into her eyes, “Thank you so much.” She whispers, ducking her head down to hide her tears. You let out a quiet sigh, feeling your heart clench in your chest. It seems like you two have more in common.
The longer you were around Ellie, it got easier to tell that she was struggling. You’d wake up in the middle of the night to her screaming, thrashing around in her bed in a panic. Sometimes she’d call out Joel’s name or names of people you didn’t know. You’d turn the light on, wait for her to wake up, and hold her in your arms as you helped her calm down. Occasionally you’d find her in the shower, skin red and steam filling the bathroom as she stared into space. You’d help her out, guide her into getting dressed and tuck her into bed.
Ellie zoning out was the most common. She would zone out, staring into space in the middle of a conversation or activity. You’d patiently wait for her to come back, gently repeating what you were saying and trying to continue the conversation. It didn’t bother you. You understood what she was going through, even though you didn’t know the full story. You struggled with witnessing your parents’ death, having to kill their murderers yourself, and getting used to living alone. The first few years were the worst, with one particularly bad flashback resulting in a burn on your arm. So, you didn’t push Ellie to do anything she couldn’t handle but that didn’t help her feelings about it.
You open your eyes and groan, a glance at the window showing you that it was early morning. Your body is begging for water, so you begrudgingly get up from your warm blankets. A shiver goes through you, reminding you that the first snowfall is a few days away. ‘I need to finish up the last preparations.’ You hug your jacket closer to your body as you exit your room.
“Fuck! Just- fuck!” You hear Ellie curse, making you stop outside of your door, “UGH! Just hold the damn thing!” You can hear the aggravation in her voice and before you realize it you’re knocking on her door.
“Els?” You ask softly, “Can I come in?” It’s silent and you listen closely for her reply.
“Yeah.” Ellie responds, with a heavy sigh sounding, “I think I need you.” You open the door and the smell of blood catches your attention. A gasp leaves your lips and you rush to her side, blood dripping down her arm from a large gash.
“How did this happen?!” You hurriedly grab another towel, pressing down hard on the wound.
“I was… practicing on using my hand again. My knife slipped and… I got myself.” Ellie frowns, looking away in shame. You inspect the wound and bite your lip, relieved she didn’t hit anything vital.
“You’re going to need stitches again.” You pull the First-Aid box closer, reaching in for the things you need.
“Great.” Ellie huffs.
“Hey.” You brush your hand over her cheek, “Relax. There’s no rush to do things. It’ll take some time to figure things out with your-”
“-I can’t relax!” Ellie shouts, startling you, “I can barely help you other than picking some things up! I can’t even grasp things the way I used to! How am I supposed to be of any help when I can’t even keep a knife stable?! I’m more of a burden to you than help!” She breaks down sobbing and you feel your heart shatter. You knew she wasn’t feeling great, but she never clued you in that she was feeling like a burden.
“Ellie.” You frown, “Please don’t say that about yourself. You’re not a burden. I can’t fully understand what you’re going through, but I can sympathize. You came to me for help and that’s what I’m doing. I don’t expect you to be able to do anything, much less assist me while you heal.” You motion to her fingers. The stitches had been removed a month ago, and the skin reformed nicely since then but it was still tender. It would be another month before she was fully healed.
“I know you’re feeling restless, but I need you to work with me.” You sterilize her wound, getting a hiss of pain from her, “Once you’re healed, we can work on it. If your fingers reopen, we’re back to square one and another few months of waiting. So please be patient.” You plead, focusing on stitching up her arm.
“I’m sorry. I’m not used to other people helping me. Even when Joel… I’ve been taking care of myself. Not being able to help. Not being able to even grasp my flashlight properly is…”
“Upsetting.” You nod, “I get that. I know what you’re feeling. I’ve… felt it before. I haven’t talked about my parents’ absence but the same thing happened with them.” You glance up at her, seeing her look at you in shock. You swallow and focus back on what you’re doing, wiping some blood away.
“We went into the town a few months after you left. My dad had hidden anything we didn’t have space for to keep it safe from raiders until he finished building the storage unit. So, we were going to collect the last of the stuff and bring it home. Some old friends of my dad’s had come to find him and things went to hell.” You could practically hear the gunfire in your ears, your mother telling you to hide, “Apparently, they had a vendetta against him for choosing my mom over them. They didn’t like my mom. Racists.” You scoff, feeling the anger once more.
“How… did they die?” Ellie asks hesitantly.
“One of them got the jump on my mom and I couldn’t get there in time. I watched as they shot my mom. Twenty bullets. One for every year my dad left them. They did the same to my dad.”
“Holy shit!” Ellie gasps, gripping your shoulder tightly in disbelief, “Those sick fucks!”
“I saw red. I couldn’t sleep at night knowing that they got away with it. With all of my training, I still couldn’t do shit to save them. I took my mom’s axe and used the Firefly network to hunt them down... I killed them all. I thought it would make me feel better but it…” You take a shuddering breath, “It made me feel empty. It’s been six years, but I still have nightmares. The screams, the pleading, the blood, the fire. I still remember it all.” You finish the last stitch, double-checking to make sure it’s secure. Her arm would be easier to manage than her fingers.
“Y/n. I-” Ellie was at a loss for words, “I’m sorry. I didn’t ask because you didn’t seem like you wanted to talk about it. That must’ve been a horrible situation.”
“It was.” You sigh, standing up, “I thought that if I was faster or if I didn’t listen to my mom and hide… they could still be here. I’ve dealt with the guilt of being alive instead of them for a long time. So, I’m begging you, Els… Lean on me.” You put a hand on her shoulder, looking her dead in the eyes. Those other Firefly kids you trained with weren’t anything to you. Ellie was your first and only friend even though she was with you for three days. You were serious. Just as serious as you were six years ago when you told her she would always have a place with you. You cared for her a lot. After all, she made you feel like a normal kid for the few days they stayed with you.
“…I will.” Ellie says sincerely, resting her hand on yours, “I’ll lean on you.”
Winter flew by and you and Ellie made a lot of progress. To your surprise, she quickly got comfortable with you looking after her. The two of you ended up sleeping in the same bed so you could keep an eye on her wound. With a couple of major injuries healing, she had a higher risk of them getting infected and you wanted to avoid that. Scout had wanted to join in on the fun and dragged his dog bed into the room as well.
By mid-winter, Ellie’s fingers had completely healed and so did the gash in her arm. You worked with her every day on figuring out how to effectively hold items with her newly healed hand. It was challenging at first, especially with her trauma but you slowly got through it. It took a lot of gentle coaxing, tears on Ellie’s side of things, and persistence from both of you. She was able to firmly hold a knife within a few weeks and carry certain small objects without issue. But, you noticed that the cold seemed to bother her hand. She would mention that she was in a lot of pain if she left them exposed so you took it upon yourself to help with that.
“Ellie?!” You call out, nervously holding the wrapped gift close to your chest. You had been working on it secretly with some leather and hide you have. You are quite anxious about giving it to her, because you aren’t sure if she’ll like it. You glance down at Scout who's on your heels, knowing that you’re nervous.
“On the porch!” Ellie responds and you head toward the back of the house. You find her curled up on the couch, tucked under a blanket with your old astronomy book opened on her lap. Scout hops up and snuggles with her, making Ellie let out a cute giggle. A smile crosses your face, eyes darting to the soft snowfall before looking back over to her.
“What’s up?” Ellie asks, tilting her head curiously.
“I have something for you.” You hold out the gift. Ellie jolts up, surprised that you have something for her. She reaches out and takes it from you, placing it on top of your book.
“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Ellie laughs, unwrapping the item.
“I didn’t. I made it for you.” You shrug, a grin making its way onto your face.
“Y/n!” Ellie gasps, lifting the gloves out of the wrapping, “You made me gloves?!”
“I made you two sets.” You sit down next to her, picking up the soft one, “One for winter and one for working. This one is made with goat leather, and there are extensions inside of the fingers. It should fit snugly and bend as if you still have the rest of your fingers. This one is deer hide. It’s soft and will keep your hands warm. It should fit perfectly to your hand as it is now. You can wear these underneath the other ones if you need to.” You watch Ellie slip the gloves on, smiling to yourself as the deer hide one’s fits perfectly.
“These are really soft!” Ellie grins rubbing her hands together, “I can’t even feel any cold! Thank you!”
“Don’t thank me yet.” You chuckle, holding up the other gloves, “You have these to try on.” These are the ones you’re nervous about. It took you a while to figure out what material to make the fake fingers with.
“How do I put it on?” Ellie furrows her brow, inspecting the clasps, “It looks a little complicated.”
“Here, let me help you.” You gently take it from her, “There are two sleeves that go over your fingers to protect them and keep the pieces secure. They stretch like this… Then, you put your other fingers inside and clasp this around your wrist.” You tighten the clasp, explaining that there’s a quick release in emergency situations. She listens closely as you show it to her, eyes wide in wonder as she slowly flexes her fingers. You watch as her lips part, a gasp leaving them as she watches it bend with the rest of her hand.
“Do you… like it?” You nervously fidget with your fingers, “I can make any-!” To your shock, Ellie’s lips are on yours as she cuts you off mid-sentence. Your cheeks burn as she pulls away, her face turning red as she realizes what she did.
“I’m sorry I- um…” Ellie clears her throat, rubbing the back of her neck, “Yes. I love them.”
“That’s good. That-That’s great!” You stutter, hastily standing up, “I’m going to put some more wood on the fire.” You speed walk away and your fingers brush over your lips. ‘That was even better than my first kiss.’ You think flusteredly, feeling a tingle in your lips.
Spring arrives before you know it and it’s back to working around the farm. Ellie - sporting a spring/summer version of her glove that only covers her two fingers - insisted on helping you. You two had addressed the kiss and Ellie apologized for it. You shyly shared the fact that it was better than your first one, and it snowballed into a whole conversation about your life here. Ellie was genuinely upset that you had been all alone for the past six years. The two of you got much closer, cracking jokes and having fun as you fixed up the farm. You learned that Ellie already knew how to care for animals, and she finally told you about her life before her incident. It was hard for her to talk about at first, but she shared a new story every day. You were happy to learn more about her life, but it made you sad, too. It gave you more motivation to help her through the days.
Along with becoming more open, Ellie was definitely flirting with you. She’d make comments about your work that focused more on you than what you were doing. It made you very flustered since you’ve never been flirted with before. You didn’t mind it. You kind of liked it. You end up flirting back, surprising her one day but she happily went along with it. It wasn’t long before you were catching feelings for the auburn-haired woman.
Life on the homestead was so much brighter with Ellie around. Your routines changed to include her and you found yourself with more free time than you were used to. You excitedly used that free time to show Ellie around the area or take her into the city. The two of you had a chance to enjoy the world together. A run-in with some infected showed you how protective Ellie was. She pushed you behind her, using her body to protect you as she fought them off. When they were dead, she looked you over with such a concerned look in her eyes you thought you might faint. No one has been that concerned over your life in a while and it made your feelings for her deeper.
“How about we go down to the river?” Ellie asks, hands tucked into her hoodie pocket. You look up at her, contemplating her question.
“I’ll have to secure the chickens first.” You answer, standing up and dusting off your pants, “I don’t like them being out if I’m not around.”
“Awesome.” Ellie gives you a breathtaking smile, “I wanted to sunbathe on the rocks.”
“Sunbathe on the rocks?” You giggle.
“Yeah, I’ve got to work on my tan!”
“Your tan?” You start laughing, “You’ll get a tan working in the field with me. You don’t need to sunbathe for that.”
“What if I want to tan my whole body?” Ellie raises an eyebrow, a teasing smirk on her face, “You’ll let me harvest strawberries naked?”
“Na- ked?” You choke, your face heating up at her words.
“I mean there’s no one around for miles.” Ellie shrugs casually, “I’ve always wondered what it’s like to go skinny-dipping.”
“Have fun with that.” You clear your throat, turning around and hoping she doesn't realize you’re blushing.
“You could come with me, you know? Relax a bit.” Ellie circles around you to see your face, “It’ll be a fun experience for the both of us.” You bite your lip and look down at the ground. With Ellie around, you didn’t have to work as hard as you used to. And, although she hasn’t mentioned leaving, you were always on edge for the moment that she decided she was ready. It would be another memory to add, to fondly look back on when she did leave you behind.
“Okay.” You nod, “Let’s do it.”
“Really?!” Ellie grins, “You’re serious?”
“Why not?” You chuckle at her enthusiasm, “You’re right. It’ll be a fun experience for both of us and no one is around. It’ll be nice to let loose.”
“Awesome! Let’s go!” Ellie grabs your hand and starts running with you back to the house. You laugh at her antics as you hurry around to secure everything before you leave. You can’t help but admire how easily Ellie locks up the chickens and properly closes off the coupe. ‘It’s going to be heartbreaking when she leaves.’ You sigh but shake off the sad feelings. You wanted to enjoy your time with her.
After securing everything, you leave the house and head off into the forest. The area Ellie was talking about wasn’t too far from your place. It was a beautiful river that went up to your waist when you had to wade through it. You were nervous, extremely nervous the closer you got. You’ve never been naked in front of anyone and you agreed to skinny-dip with your crush of all people? You stop and marvel at the beauty of the area. Golden sunlight reflecting off of the water with leaves lazily drifting along and making the place look so… intimate.
“Ready?” Ellie glances at you.
“Ah…” You look at the water. ‘It’s only Ellie. It’s not like I’m showing off or anything.’ You nod, “Yeah, I am.” You turn away from her, slowly removing your clothes. You’re conscious of every piece you remove, goosebumps covering your body as you think of Ellie’s eyes on you. It makes your body feel tingly. ‘God, what am I thinking?’ You close your eyes, letting out a long exhale. ‘I shouldn’t be having these thoughts about my friend.’
“Y/n?” You jump, feeling fingers brush against your shoulder.
“Yeah?” You respond, whirling around only to get the breath knocked out of you, “You’re… beautiful.” You whisper, mindlessly. You can’t stop your eyes from wandering her body, entranced by her beauty. Ellie is lithe, toned, and everything you had embarrassingly imagined.
“I… can say the same about you.” Ellie whispers, her eyes roaming your body in return. You blush, crossing your arms over your stomach in a poor attempt to hide.
“L-Let’s go in.” You grab her hand and hurry into the water. You let out a squeal, startled by the cold water against your skin.
“Holy shit, this is cold!” Ellie curses, her grip on your hand tightening. You knew the river never warmed up but this makes you want to jump back out!
“It’s a nice change from the hot weather, though.” You comment, carrying on forward until you’re up to your shoulders. A memory crosses your mind, one of you and your parents playing around in the water. You turn to Ellie and give her a mischievous smile. You came out here to relax and have fun, so that’s what you were going to do.
“What?” Ellie raises an eyebrow. You immediately jump at her, getting a shout of surprise as you push her into the water. You’re submerged underneath with her for a moment before you’re coming up for air. The first thing you do is laugh as Ellie sputters and wipes the water from her eyes.
“Y/n!” Ellie exclaims, a laugh bubbling up as she looks at you with wide eyes, “Oh, it’s on!” She lunges at you, making you shriek as you’re knocked underwater. The two of you go back and forth, jumping on each other and playing in the water. You hadn’t felt this carefree in a while and her laughter made your stomach twist. Laughter that you were the one causing. There was something about Ellie that made you feel so bubbly. Even once you were sunbathing on a river boulder, you felt like you were floating and it was all because of her.
“I’ve never felt this relaxed before.” Ellie sighs, turning her head to look at you.
“Me either.” You mumble, resting your head on your arm as you look at her. The sunlight made her face practically glow. You could see her freckles, her eyes shone like the leaves on the trees, and even her hair seemed more reddish than normal. You were content laying here with her. ‘I could lay here forever.’
“Y/n?” Ellie whispers, propping herself up to get closer to you.
“Yes?” You hum, lifting your head. Your breath catches in your throat as you see a soft look in her eyes.
“Can I kiss you?” Ellie says even quieter as if she’s afraid for you to hear her question. Your eyes widen as you process it, and your heart starts pounding in your chest. You didn’t expect her to ask that, but the more you played it over in your head… the more you wanted it. You wanted her to kiss you.
“You can.” You whisper back. Her fingers caress your jawline, gently guiding you up and toward her. The moment is filled with anticipation as your lips hover an inch away from hers. You were so close. So close to kissing the woman you were crushing on. You gaze into each other's eyes, hers flicking down to your lips before she finally kisses you. ‘Her lips are soft.’ You think, but become too entranced by them. The way they move against your lips. How it makes you feel… How Ellie makes you feel. Slowly, it gets more intense. Her kisses get needier, hands grabbing at your body beneath her and you reciprocate. She makes your body burn and you feel an odd ache between your legs. It’s almost saddening when she breaks the kiss, making your new issue more apparent.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so touchy.” Ellie apologizes but you shake your head.
“I like it. I’ve never had this kind of intimacy before.” You say breathily, shifting uncomfortably as the ache becomes more obvious.
“Are you okay?” She asks in concern, “Are you sure I didn’t make you uncomfortable?”
“I- um…” You feel yourself blush. ‘Do I bring this feeling up to her?’ The concern in her eyes only makes it worse, “You didn’t make me uncomfortable, but I feel um… t-this weird aching I’ve never felt before. B-Between my legs.” You look away from her, feeling embarrassed that you don’t know your own body’s responses. You hear her chuckle and she turns your face back to hers. You can see the understanding in her eyes.
“It’s okay. It means that you’re aroused and this is what you feel when you are.” Ellie gives you a soft smile, “I can ease that feeling for you, but that involves me touching you down there. But, I’d only do that if you’re comfortable with that.”
“Oh.” You blush harder. ‘How could I not know that? My mom gave me a whole course about sexual health! I just… lose myself around Ellie.’
“I’m okay with that.” You respond shyly, “You can touch me.”
“Are you sure? You did just have your first kiss. Well, real one.”
“I’m sure. I would like for you to do it.” You nod your head.
“Okay, but tell me to stop if you feel uncomfortable in any way.” Ellie agrees, waiting for you to nod before leaning down to kiss you again. You can feel her hand move down to your thigh, it resting there while you kiss. A nip on your lip has you parting your lips and her tongue slipping into your mouth. A low moan sounds from you and Ellie’s hand drags along your thigh before stopping at your clit. She breaks the kiss and starts kissing your neck, making you tilt your head back.
“I’m going to touch your clit, okay?” Ellie murmurs against your skin.
“Okay.” You breathe out, a bit distracted by the feeling of her sucking on your skin. You feel her fingers shift before - “Ellie!” You gasp, a groan leaving your lips as a twinge of pleasure goes up your spine. Little whines and whimpers come from you as she plays with your clit.
“You’re doing great.” She whispers encouragingly, “Just relax into the feeling… Good girl.” You try your best to listen to her. She talks you through it, guides you through how you’re feeling, and explains the pressure in your abdomen. It feels like forever before the pressure releases and you whine out her name as a heat races through your nerves. You’ve never felt this before. It felt amazing yet you think you might burn up on the inside. It only made the ache down there worse.
“That- That was…” You try to catch your breath, “That was amazing but I still feel that ache.”
“I know.” Ellie pecks your lips, “I wanted you to feel that before I went in you… Are you ready?”
You take a deep breath to calm your racing heart, “…Yeah. I’m ready. You should totally kiss me again, though.” That makes her laugh and shake her head. This time you’re the one pulling her into a kiss. You’re nervous but excited as her hand finally moves to the place you need her to be. A shiver goes through your body as you feel her rub your slit. It felt weird. A good weird, yet you couldn’t help but wish she’d hurry up.
“I’m going to put my fingers in.” Ellie whispers, pausing your kiss.
“Do it.” You encourage her. She gazes into your eyes as you gasp, feeling her fingers enter you. You’re vividly aware of her fingers, the cool feeling of her skin is a welcome contrast to how hot you feel down there. There’s a pause, a moment for you to breathe and steady yourself before she continues. Every movement has you gasping for breath, sending waves of pleasure up your spine. Ellie’s nothing but sweet, once again guiding you through it because things felt different this time.
The pressure in your abdomen was slow to build up, compared to when she was playing with your clit. It was a deeper pleasure, lazily coiling through you but intense enough to have you moaning for Ellie. Her eyes on you are just as intense, making your heart clench in your chest. Her kisses are firm, purposeful, and dizzying at the same time. Even her words make you clench around her, to your surprise. It was a side of her you’ve only gotten glimpses of. A side of her you’re very interested in.
“Come on, beautiful.” Ellie coaxes you, kissing your collarbone, “Don’t run from the feeling. Allow yourself to feel it… Cum for me, it’s okay.”
“Ellie!” You moan loudly. You can feel yourself tighten around her fingers as the pressure releases and she lets out a low growl.
“Good girl.” Ellie kisses you, “Good girl.” Her words make you feel proud of yourself for listening to her. And you blush at her praise for you.
“Thank you.” You whisper, meeting her eyes, “Thank you for this.” You feel like you’re floating. Your heart was racing once again and there was an overwhelming feeling of love coursing through you.
“Shhh.” Ellie pulls you into her arms, “Just enjoy the feeling. Let’s enjoy this time together.”
“Does that mean you’re staying?” You ask hopefully, playing with the hair at the nape of her neck.
“I have no plans on leaving.” Ellie smiles and you feel overwhelmed with joy.
Dina: let me do it.
Abby: why?
Dina: shut up and give me that
(takes cloth from Abby's hand and stars cleaning Abby's wound)
Abby: you don't have to, you know
Dina: it's faster if I do it…
Abby: is that the only reason why you are helping me?
Dina: what else could it be?
I love the idea of like 10 years after the farm and Santa Barbara Ellie happens to run across JJ and theyre both sooo fucking confused and having a moment like this.
Like theyre trying to figure out how they know one another because JJ’s seen pictures and stuff of Ellie when she was younger. And once Ellie realizes who this kid is she has this whole crisis because what do you do when it’s the apocalypse and you find your ex girlfriend’s kid you left as a baby to go on a murder revenge mission
Years has passed ever since the events in tlou2. Dina and Ellie just want to give JJ a future where he can survive and thrive. Abby wants the same for Lev but unless they all work together survival might be impossible.
Or
Is the fear of extinction enough to make old foes - turned reluctant allies - collaborate? Save each other? Talk and actually listen?
Dina allowed me to make a painting of her and JJ. It’s hard because JJ doesn’t really like to stay put but I will keep on trying until I get it right. It’s the least I can do for them. Damn, Dina is so beautiful and kind. I need to make justice to all that she is in this painting...
Time has passed ever since the events in tlou2. Dina and Ellie just want to give JJ a future where he can survive and thrive. Abby wants the same for Lev but unless they all work together survival might be impossible.
Or
Is the fear of extinction enough to make old foes - turned reluctant allies - collaborate? Save each other? Talk and actually listen?
chapter 40
Abby wakes up to a surprising sight. She talks with the new girl and is surprised by curious people that bring trouble.
