#post-dysphoria

[beyond-mogai-pride-flags]

Post-dysphoric Pride Flag

Postdysphoric or post-dysphoria: a term for someone who passed through gender dysphoria but doesn't experience this anymore, usually due to transtion.

[post-dysphoria]

Dangers of Warmer, Dryer Weather

I apologise for not posting as much. There’s been a few reasons, I’ll touch on a few. Summer has started in my neck of the woods, bringing warmer, dryer, weather. Predictably, that mean…

It’s also Pride season. This intentionally raises awareness, but it does so in uneven ways. There’s a lot more acceptance for cis people to be in same-sex relationships, than there is for trans and non-binary people to socially or medically transition. Feminist Appropriating Radical Transphobes are a prime example of this.

Another facet of Pride that can be difficult on queer trans people is the dominant messaging around cisnormative body image.It’s a difficult time of the year for a number of my loved ones, between the increase in violence, and those struggling with increased suicide ideation.

I would love a public health campaign on how we all need to dress appropriately for the weather to not suffer heat stroke. And we all deserve to do so free from violence.

[post-dysphoria]

Inquiry: The Infantalisation of Trans Men

This inquiry took place over IM, and was amidst a larger conversation. So I don’t have a neat starting question, but copied and pasted the bit that made me realise this topic, which I’v…

During the earlier years of my transition, as I struggled hard, I did my best to remain accountable for my behaviour when depression and cumulative trauma was wearing me down. It was infuriating to be disempowered with condescending offers, in essence, to spare me adulting. These were reminders that I was considered a boi (lite), rather than an adult man who could be expected to be accountable for his behaviour.

I think many of the cis queer women who default to some degree of parental behaviour towards trans men have had it reinforced by trans guys who play into such a dynamic. This enables them to have zero accountability for their shitty behaviour when they struggle with dysphoria and/or depression. It has echoes of cis het men who expect their partners to handle their difficult emotions at home, instead of learning healthy ways to manage their emotions and struggles with dysphoria.

[post-dysphoria]

Self-Awareness: erections (tmi)

The longer I’m in a relationship, the more it gets to me that I can’t get spontaneous erections. Not because it takes long to pump, or that I can’t pump in advance if I don’…

I wouldn’t be happier had I not buried my natal glans, I know that because I didn’t have it buried until a few years after having phallo, because it wasn’t working for me to have 2 dicks. A semi-malleable rod wouldn’t address this either given the nature of the constant erections it provides.

There are worse things in life, but it’s a nuisance that occasionally makes me hyper aware I’m trans. I’m trying to lean in on alternate non-verbal ways to express erotic attraction with mixed success so far. 

[post-dysphoria]

The 4 Ds of trans and intersex health care

I believe health care should be universal, accessible, equitable, and efficient. Trans and intersex health care should be: Decentralised – gender identity services are generally unsatisfactor…

Trans and intersex health care should be decentralised, despecialised, depathologised, decolonised.

Trans and intersex care should be local, enabling us to remain close to our communities for support, and promoting resilience. It should chiefly be provided within primary care. This would enable more points of access, for less cost, and less medicalisation of trans and intersex lives. It should be led by trans and intersex people, empowered and enabled to have full bodily autonomy, and make decisions that best improve their quality of life.

[post-dysphoria]

Dealing with misgendering at the beginning of hormone therapy

I was asked for tips to deal with misgendering early into hormone therapy. So here are some ideas, in no particular order. Hair cuts Getting or giving myself hair cuts was one of the best self-care…

Repeat your truths, even if others don’t listen, you do Yours will probably differ from mine. But though I intellectually knew the following, it took years of repeating them as required to know these in my bones: – I’m a man. I’m real. Ergo I’m really a man. Not becoming, identifying as or performing. – Boundaries are healthy. I don’t owe anyone my former name. – I have correct pronouns, not preferred ones. – Don’t put myself down, the rest of the world doesn’t need my help. – I don’t owe my parents my life. I matter to me. I have inherent value as a human. – Should I come to regret any part of transition, I will know why I did it. I will know how long and hard I reflected first, how miserable I was, everything else I tried first. I will be able to live with the consequences of my actions.

[post-dysphoria]

Things seldom discussed in “trans spaces”

This is based on my experience of IRL spaces in anglophone dominated spaces whether IRL in the US, Canada, UK or NZ, or in English language forums online. In no particular order: Anything that happ…

[post-dysphoria]

Suicide Among Middle Aged Trans Old Men

I spent my childhood unable to conceptualise myself after high school. I couldn’t fathomed aging in the then shape of my body. As a teen I kept coming across grim statistics about trans youth. As a…

I wish we didn’t live in a transphobic world that wears trans people down. I wish there wasn’t a scarcity of resources constructed by systemic marginalisation. But this in turn leads to a community rife with horizontal hostility, which isolates seasoned advocate and community based service providers. We have some privileges, but when we need support, we can’t turn to the services we provide or with which we’re associated.

I intend to be in the first dozen trans old guys I personally know to reach their sixties.