"A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life"
Redraw of my first Casey drawing that I posted exactly a year ago! 😊
I do wish I had more energy to really show the improvement in my work because this is still very much on the quicker side but I just thought it'd be a nice thing to do today 😊
I remember having some thoughts at the time such as "no one's going to buy this girl as the Boss", "I wish I could draw digital like the cool people" and "when people find out I ship her with Matt Miller I'm going to get ripped to shreds".
Turns out, it was the best possible thing I could have done to start posting on here, and to start drawing again, on so many levels. You're all fantastic. 🫶
This was just a lil comfort sketch bc I've had a weird past week or so. But also I have a tablet now and this is my first drawing of them on it! No more starting with pencil sketches (maybe) 😊
I realised since I've pre-prepared like... nothing, I was going to have to stick with quick doodles and drabbles for these, so I went for something a little less literal than I originally planned!
So here's Cass working on the calendar for her new planet.
All those jokes I've made in the last month about how much paperwork she has to do finally paying off.
Touching prompts: I am still accepting more of these, just give me some time as they tend to get a little long like this one 😅
21: kissing the other's brow
Growing Out
Fandom: Saints Row
Universe: Canon/Main Universe
Pairing: Matt Miller x Boss OC Cassandra "Casey" Clark
Synopsis: When touching Matt's face, Casey feels something she'd not really noticed before. 2348 words, set around a week and a half before the start of Out Of Time.
Warnings: Swearing, suggestive joke.
“Two months.” Matt murmured quietly, his brow furrowed slightly as his eyes remained fixed on the screen. Casey could tell something had been bothering her friend from the moment they sat down; he'd been more withdrawn than normal, putting on the episode and reaching an arm around her wordlessly but barely meeting her face at all.
She was used to it now. How close they got every Friday. She was beginning to lose her inhibitions around it more and more as time went on. There felt less need to be defensive. That looming doubt in the back of her mind about her “no cuddling” rule was always soothed sufficiently by the comfort before it had a chance to fully form. “Hmm?” she responded, turning to glance at him slightly as she tried to decipher where on earth that had come from.
“We've got… a month until we talk everyone through the tactics.” he elaborated, with an anxious sounding sigh. “Two until the invasion.”
It finally clicked for her why he might be acting a little off given that looming deadline. “Oh…” she replied softly. “I getcha…”. They’d worked together on the plans for months now, but they were still having to change things. Apparently Zinjai had succeeded in procuring a specialist from the pods to help build a more protective robot, possibly even two, than what they had.
It was important to them both that Matt would be able to see and hear her from aboard the ship stationed on the new planet, and vice versa. It would be just like in the simulations; that ease and familiarity that allowed them to succeed in teaming up time and time again. That was worth the disruption to their previous tactics.
She thought back though, to when, several months ago, she’d seen him first break down; not seethe over a buggy piece of code or whine about her driving or cry over an episode he really liked but really break down, when she told him to be prepared for the fact she’d likely die out there. Now they were both more optimistic about it given their adaptions. But the look on his face certainly betrayed a similar sentiment to that time.
So, seeing where this was going, she pre-emptively turned to him and pulled him close, his arm still resting awkwardly around her. She would never have dreamed of just wordlessly embracing someone when they were upset on Earth. But whether she admitted it or not, she and Matt hadn’t just grown together over the past couple of years, they’d practically grown into one another, and it was unsurprising that she was now able to return some of the same affection he offered.
She somewhat expected him to cry again, but instead his hand clutched at the back of her shirt as they sat there quietly for a moment. “Thank you.” Matt finally responded. “It's… nothing really though.”. She was’t too sure if he meant it or not by his ambiguous tone. It was harder when she couldn’t see him.
She drew back a little, but encouraged him to let her take some of his weight and lean him down, cradling an arm under his head. His eyes locked with hers uncertainly, and there it was, that endless blue stare she’d thought dangerous on many an occasion, absent of tears but certainly a little forlorn.
She used the calm tone she often used for speeches, though just a degree softer. “You’ll be OK, Matty.” she assured him. “And all our friends’ll be OK.”. She smiled but she still sensed that hesitation in his expression. “And I will be OK.” she added almost as an afterthought, subtly betraying her priorities.
That didn’t immediately shake the expression. But it seemed once her words has sunk in, his frown relaxed a little, a hard blink clearing some of the downheartedness, a small smile spreading across his lips. “Thank you, Boss.” he repeated.
“You said that already.” she teased in response, reaching towards a loose strand of his bangs and brushing it across his forehead, fingertips grazing a small area of thickened skin on the way. She paused, placing the section of hair neatly so it wasn’t obscuring his face but then drawing back to run her thumb along the tiny mark that was hidden well enough by his eyebrow that she’d never noticed it before. “You got a scar here?” she asked curiously.
“Oh…” he responded. “Um… yeah, it is actually.”. He sounded relatively nonplussed about the whole thing, but it still seemed a little evasive to her.
“You know most people would look at that as an invitation to elaborate, Matt.” the Boss pointed out. He was usually pretty upfront about things like this so she couldn't help but wonder if it was embarrassing. “You run into a table as a kid or somethin’?”
Matt laughed ever-so-slightly. “No, nothing like that.” he clarified. “It’s nothing drastic, I just had an eyebrow piercing once.”
“Ooh…” she said, both surprised and intrigued, not so much that he'd made that choice but that there were still things she didn’t know about him after all this time. “That’d look hot on you.” she added without really thinking, taking in his face as she mentally placed it onto his features, fingertips brushing the side of his face.
Matt looked at her for a moment, that look he always got when he seemed to be struggling to read her, then looking away slightly awkwardly. “Well probably not at the time, I was only fourteen.” he deflected.
“Fourteen?” she asked. “I swear to god Matt, the shit you did as a kid makes you sound so fuckin’ wild sometimes.”. She was a lot more placid than that at fourteen. Drinking, hacking, and now piercings?
He laughed again. “Not wild at all.” he insisted. “But well… as you know, all my friends were a bit older-“
“Because you’re a supergenius who skipped two grades of school.” she interrupted matter-of-factly.
Matt raised his eyebrows, but then a little smirk came to his face. “Perhaps.” he said nonchalantly. She didn’t mind if other people found his occasionally egotistical nature annoying. Seeing the bigger picture, she found it a little endearing that he had a confidence he lacked elsewhere when it came to his intelligence. “Point is, we were out in Camden, there was this dodgy tattoo place that didn’t seem to give much of a shit how old any of us were, and I wanted to impress them…”. He smiled slightly, looking off into the distance remembering. “It did look rather cool actually.” he mused. “My parents went mental though.”. He shook his head, chuckling. “I had access to several highly confidential government files at that point, yet the piercing was their sticking point.”
“I’m gonna guess that’s cause they never got to see the highly confidential government files, Matty.” she pointed out with a smirk back. “So… what… after that they made you take it out?”
“Surprisingly, no.” he admitted. “But apparently it’s really common for surface piercings like that to just grow out completely. It lasted for less than a year.”
“Awwww; the cool just plain ejected itself from your body.” she teased in a faux sympathetic tone.
“Oi.” he complained, nudging her lightly. “Look I know you think I'm a loser but there's no need to be mean about it.”
Even though she knew he wasn't entirely serious, that caught her a little off guard. She frowned slightly as her eyes flicked over his face. “I don't think you're a loser, Matty…” she replied. He was… fuck… how the hell could she even put it into words? How could she even begin to describe a man who could create entire worlds from typing lines into a computer? Who could not only fix robots and bikes and guns but took pleasure in it? Who somehow knew all the best games and shows and music and everything?
A man who despite all that, showed her a loyalty she could have only dreamed of years previously. Even when it was difficult. Even when it must be pretty terrifying for him. Who had the patience to deal with her, the observation to see what she needed, the compassion to even care about both. He’d told her he thought of her as his best friend on his birthday, just three weeks prior. She wished she’d worked up how to describe to him just how mutual that feeling was. Her lieutenant. Her best friend. Her Matty.
But even as she sat there on the couch, having broken so many barriers; watching what she’d once thought was just a shitty vampire show, letting him hold her, cradling him in her lap... her ability to voice all that she was feeling still failed her.
“You alright?” he asked, the concern that the conversation had broken seemingly returning a little. She guessed she’d not really spoken for a while, just looking at him as her mind swirled with all that she couldn’t convey with words.
“Oh… yeah…” she replied, trying to give a genuine slight smile. She took a deep breath in and out for reasons she couldn’t quite place. “What’s a stupid piece of metal know anyway?” she said as breezily as she could. He smiled again, and she could so easily leave it at that, but she didn’t. Instead she leaned down and kissed the scar gently. “All better.” she added, her face smiling down from just a couple of inches above him.
His smile didn’t fade, but there was still a barely noticeable shift in his expression. It was in his eyes, she thought. Like the forlorn look he’d had just minutes ago, but not quite. Like he was looking straight into her and straight through her at the same time. She couldn’t fully decipher it. All she knew is it made something burn in her chest. Her head remained close above his but she averted her gaze slightly, shaking her head. “Sorry if that was weird, my sister used to-“
“No.” he interrupted in a soft breath, his hand reaching swiftly for her face, mirroring the hold she had on his. She flicked her eyes towards his, then to his hand, then back again, wondering the significance. He didn’t need any serious explanation just to touch her face, so… why did she feel like she was dizzy with anticipation? It was agonizing. He swallowed, then seemingly felt an explanation was warranted. “Your… hair was tickling my neck…” he mumbled.
“Oh.” she chuckled, the tension broken enough for her to shift herself away from him and back upright, finally feeling able to draw a breath. “I’ve been meaning to get a haircut actually.”
“Oh?” he asked. “Are you going back to the green as well?” he asked, the ends of her hair having faded to blue as usual rather than the emerald she’d had put in just before Christmas.
“Mmm, I don’t know.” she said. “I wanna do something different.” she explained. “Not just the color either, I wanna like… change up the style a little.”. It’d been like this for so long now. Something within her was desperately craving a change. “What do you think would look cute on me?” she asked, looking down at him and placing her palm under chin, pouting.
He let out another soft laugh at that. “Everything, probably.” he suggested, getting up off her lap and settling back beside her.
“OK, one, you weren’t even looking, and two, quit being such a suck-up.” she complained lightly.
“I’m not.” he insisted, but he did look at her properly this time. “Hmm... you had a fringe back when I had you under surveillance, right?” he asked.
“You can just say “back in Steelport” so you don’t sound totally creepy.” she pointed out, then processed the rest of it. “Sorry, uh… fringe?” she asked, having been thrown off the topic a little and missing the context.
“You know…” he replied with a smirk. “Baaaangs.” he finished in his exaggerated attempt at an ‘American’ accent which, as ever, made him sound like a cross between Josh Birk and a valley girl. It got the point across but not without reminding her what a brat he still was.
“I’m gonna bang you in a min-“ she began, only really hearing it when it had already come out of her mouth and promptly closing it.
“Did…” Matt replied with a raised eyebrow and a slight laugh, though she thought she could see the slightest hint of a blush beneath his makeup. “Did you just say you’re going to bang me?”
“Matt, c'mon…” she said, breaking into laughter herself. Of course… it wasn’t entirely like she didn’t want to do exactly that. But she couldn’t give into that temptation for even a moment. Not after what had almost happened three weeks ago. And four weeks ago. And five weeks ago. “You know what I meant.” she insisted.
Matt continued to laugh along with her, but he settled his arm back around her, just as he had done at the start of their evening together. “You’re fine, love.” he assured, his cheek nestling into her hair slightly, making her scalp tingle. Then he promptly turned his attention back to the screen, their peals of laughter giving way to quiet serenity.
Casey looked to the screen too thoughtfully. Damn... Journey and Marion had some real chemistry. She had to grasp at this normalcy. She had to remind herself sometimes, how important he was to have as a friend. So that she never strayed into almost tainting it again. “Matty…” she began softly. “Y’know how you called me your uh… “bezzie mate” when you were wasted?”
“I did.” he confirmed, sounding amused by his own sloppy phrasing but recalling it nonetheless.
She should say it. Say he was her best friend too; while she was loath to compare the two, just as much as Johnny. Say he meant the world to her, especially in the absence of any other. Say anything that would mean something real and genuine and everything she wished she could be for him. “…That still true?” she instead found herself asking.
He smiled, pulling her just that little bit closer. “Always.” he assured.
One day I'll write a more detailed explanation of "the new planet" being officially called Ragnarök(I feel like it would colloquially just be known as New Earth) but I did want to explain the basics because I'm not sure I've put anything about it here before.
The section at the end of chapter 29 when Matt reads to Casey from the Prose Edda after the power cut is possibly my favourite scene for them. For those who won't have read it; Casey likens the destruction and rebirth of the earth to their current situation. The earth literally ending, the new start ahead of them, the group of several thousand humans in the pods being representative of the two surviving humans who repopulate the earth in the original story.
(Side note: I also relate certain aspects of those two humans- Lif (female, "life") and Leifthrasir (male, "life's lover" OR "life's yearner" depending on translation) to Casey and Matt themselves, but, probably better to put that in the larger explanation.)
That is part of Casey's reasoning, but there's also a more personal level to the decision, and it's not something she mentions aloud to Matt, though I feel she would tell him later on when they're a couple. It's that the main description-
-heavily reminds her of the aftermath of the boat explosion. This, to her, is death and rebirth in a much more visceral and personal sense.
Anyway, I think a few people, not necessarily here, think it's just a silly shippy thing on my part, or even in-universe on Casey's part. Which is not the worst thing in the world I guess, but I very much enjoy the deeper significance of it. 😊
This was originally going to be a quick sketch to work out how I want to draw Matt cartoony style, but I ended up really happy with how much it actually looked like him so I used it as an opportunity to play with some stuff I've had in my head for a while for his 2023 design.
I don't see him ditching the Decker jacket but he fleur-de-lis instead of the Syndicate star is way overdue. He still has the pink shirt, big love for the pink shirt, but I just really like the idea of him in stripes too.
The headset? Look I love the big clunky thing so this feels sacreligious but at the same time I can't shake the feeling that He Would Not Fucking Have That Anymore. Not when he's had 3 years to fuck around with Zin tech. Probably not in 2020, either, but like... it's what we see in game so I'm going to be lenient(it was 2013, they couldn't have known) and say he made more of an earbud thing post-SRIV.
As for the hair, I just seem to be slowly creeping it out longer. I tried cutting it short that one time and it was a cursed image, so, no more 🤣
It makes sense though because I planned to draw him with very long hair in the thing I wanted to draw for SRIV's 10 year anniversary. I wanted to do some domestic fluffy shit of Matt and Casey dancing in their kitchen 10 years after the game (2030, eek). Maybe another time. 🙂
