Mythical XI: Balotelli and football's most overrated players
In the age of 140 characters, snap judgement is the order of the day. One underhit pass makes a midfielder useless, and a single skewed shot renders a striker ‘crapper than my gran’.
In short, hyperbole is way more fun than measured, reasonable analysis.
Joey Barton recently tweeted that Mario Balotelli, who, it is fair to say, has struggled to find form since his £16m summer transfer to Liverpool, is “the biggest myth in World football.”
Correct or otherwise, Joey’s expression of opinion has inspired us to make some snap judgments of our own…because, let’s be honest, they're way more fun.
In the spirit of hyperbole, behold the Predikta Mythical XI, a.k.a. world football's most overrated players.
'Tis a well-known fact that ‘keepers who perform reasonably well at below-average Premier League sides are always lauded as the best shot-stoppers in the game. Jussi Jaaskelainen, for example, was the darling of every commentator during his time at Bolton.
Mignolet is another such player. A decent performer at Sunderland, his Liverpool career has been sprinkled with big mistakes in big games, not least in last week’s Merseyside derby. If you don’t believe us, just ask Gary Neville.
It’s true, he has a left foot like a hammer and has some truly spectacular goals to his name, but so would we if we took a shot every time we were ‘within range’ which, to Kolarov, entails being in the opposition half. He is deployed as a defender, but rarely does any actual defending.
Excellent in attack, as he proved this week with a rare Champions League goal, but nothing short of pitiful at the other end of the pitch. What’s more, French champions PSG just shelled out €50m for him. Jose Mourinho must be laughing all the way to the bank.
Never has there been a more one-footed defender than Gerard Piqué. Barcelona had to replace club legend Carlos Puyol this summer, but they might have done well to replace this guy, too.
We reckon Puyol’s presence, plus the hype that comes with dating someone as hot as Shakira are the two main factors that have enabled Piqué to maintain his slightly mystifying run in Barca’s first team.
Perhaps a dubious inclusion given the amount of stick he’s received recently – not helped, of course, by the rediscovery of this fabulous tweet from November 2012:
There are even murmurings suggesting that Carl Jenkinson is already a better fullback than Glen Johnson will ever be. Take from that what you will.
One sensational season in 2009-10, during which he won the treble with Inter Milan, catapulted Sneijder to superstardom. But the Dutch midfielder has struggled to replicate the form of that season ever since. Despite moments of breath-taking brilliance on the pitch, Sneijder is anonymous all too often, as exhibited earlier this week against Arsenal.
Although now operating in the Championship, Scott Parker was named England Player of the Year in 2011 – although exactly how is beyond us. His limited technical skill and tangible passion saw him operate as a ‘midfield enforcer’, which essentially entailed mowing down anyone that tried to get past him.
Another selection that may attract some outrage, because his stats do stand up to scrutiny. But as any Arsenal fan will tell you, Theo Walcott often resembles a headless chicken on the pitch. The speedster is unquestionably a supreme athlete, but appears to lack a footballing brain when it matters most. And he’s on £100k a week. AND he’s always injured.
Yes, he has a cool name and yes, he is Brazilian, but this doesn’t automatically make Hulk one of the best strikers in the world. He dazzles fans with the occasional stunning goal, but just 9 goals in 41 appearances for Brazil tells its own story. That Hulk has never played in any of the five major European leagues is also extremely telling.
Has been linked with Arsenal for forever and a day, but we think Arsène Wenger may have dodged a bullet with this one. Currently leading the most potent attacking force in the world at Real Madrid, yet still always seems to underwhelm - especially on the big stage.
A celebrity lifestyle has helped ‘Super Mario’ attain a reputation he surely does not deserve. Scored 20 goals in 54 appearances for Man City between 2010 and 2013, but nearly half of them were penalties. He talks the talk, but rarely does Balotelli walk the walk when on the pitch. Sums himself up with this absurd interview in The Guardian in 2010:
“There is only one that is a little stronger than me: Messi. All the others are behind me.”
For once we agree with you, Joey!
Which players would make your Mythical XI? Tweet your suggestions to @Predikta using the hashtag #MythicalXI.
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