Cold feet - Pre-WeddingJitters
I’m having that right now. Why so sudden that I feel like it’s the end of an era, of my singlehood. Like a lot of things will change, like it’s the end of my individuality as a person, a woman, a human. It feels like I will lose myself once I got into marriage.
The idea that I can’t be or won’t allowed to be with someone else. Do I already explore dating life enough? Do I already meet a lot of guys? Am I allowed to go to the club and make an eye contact with attractive guys? It won’t be a problem when I’m still not married, but now that I’m a married woman, there’s a certain rules and expectation that make me need to retain myself and to behave to a certain level to show that I’m a well-respected woman. It’s different when I ‘only’ have a boyfriend; to put someone on the hook, to make an eye contact with some attractive guys, to touch some guys’ shoulder, to get in a car alone with a guy, things like that won’t affect my image as a woman. But now it will be different, the judgement will be there.
I read it somewhere when I googled this pre-wedding phenomenon, it’s very common because we see “Marriage” as a big deal, a life changing decision. And the articles also share some symptoms whether it’s only before the wedding or it really is a ‘deal breaker’. Well, I know for sure by the sympthoms, it’s only for awhile. I know it well.
I know that He is the one. I won’t be with someone else other than him. I know that I make the right choice to choose him as my life partner. Everything just seems so easy with him. I have a lot of laugh. I would totally die for him, I would spend my entire life with him. I won’t trade anyone for him. I can totally entrust him my life.
Well, it’s nice that I write it in my journal, one week before the wedding, how I felt about it. And when I reread in the future, I might find it a funny read. But still, it could be a red flag that I don’t see yet for now
