#prim.vents

[lovestruckprimrose]

Just tell me you hate me and I’m annoying and you don’t care about what I say just fucking tell me you don’t have to ignore me you don’t have to do that to me just tell me just fucking tell me TELL ME.

[lovestruckprimrose]

All I do is bring down everyone else

I’m toxic and bad

I make everyone around me miserable

I make it everyone else’s problem

Idk why anyone stays if I’m this much of a problem

Why are you still here if all I do is make everything worse.

[lovestruckprimrose]

My heart feels like it’s cracking

I want to rip it out of my chest

I want to squeeze it until it stops hurting

Maybe then I wouldn’t have to handle myself

All I do is fuck everything up

All I do is upset the ones I love

I wpuldnt be surprised if they all just fuckign left

If they just hated me

Maybe I really am a terrible person

All I do is make everything worse.

[lovestruckprimrose]

I feel too sensitive sometimes.

The smallest things bother me or hurt me and I’m so afraid to say something about it because I just know I’ll be ridiculed or brushed off. Like oh it’s just this it’s just that why are you upset about it etc etc as if I’m not allowed to just

Have feelings???

Idk

Everyone else can be upset by the smallest things but when I am it suddenly doesn’t matter for some fucking reason and I don’t understand

I’m so afraid of coming off as a bad person that I just sit and don’t do anything and even still I’m doing something wrong

I can’t ever fucking win at this point and it’s exhausting and I don’t even know how to talk about it more, so of Course nobody’s gonna take me seriously

How are they supposed to take me seriously when I can’t even form a sentence??

Like oh haha I can’t even explain it that must mean it’s not that important

What.

I have trouble putting my thoughts into words

It’s a common thing with many people

But for some reason it’s just so fucking ridiculous when it comes to me

Nobody seems to take me seriously anymore, I’m not sure if they ever did

All I ever seem to be is either a bad person or a punching bag

I can’t do anything right ever

I’m mean, I’m stupid, I’m xyz whatever it is

I bring down the mood everywhere I go

Like I’m just a fucking burden to everybody and I’m not even fucking doing anything I’m just trying to fucking exist I don’t understand it

If I’m not a burden I’m the fucking punchline of everyone else’s jokes

I’m tired

[lovestruckprimrose]

I was like omg my art isn’t bad today yayyy and now I wanna delete it and never draw again bc I’m so mentally fucking ill that I can’t just see things normally so now I fucking hate my art and I’m never gonna draw again

[lovestruckprimrose]

I fucking hate myself sometimes

Like I really don’t know how anyone fucking puts up with me

All I do is create more fucking trouble

I just keep making everyone I love upset and I can’t fucking stop

I can’t fucking take it sometimes

[lovestruckprimrose]

Currently having an internal breakdown bc I’m sick and it might be covid and I feel like shit and I’m probably not gonna be able to go to prom tomorrow with my partner and that’s all I’ve ever wanted is to finally have prom with them because junior prom was terrible and now that we can finally have our two year late senior prom I possibly have fucking covid and I can’t even go with them and everyone’s just gonna go without me and I’m just hngngngn nope I’m not doing well rn

[lovestruckprimrose]

Selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish selfish

I feel so selfish I feel like I suffocate everyone I love I feel like I’m too much and I just drive people away because everything is about me why does everything have to fucking be about me I’m so fucking selfish I’m fucking terrible I’m even doing it right now because I can’t just shut the FUCK UP ever ever ever ever ever I’m so fucking selfish I’m sorry