9 year wedding anniversary present. It arrived a few days late, which pissed my husband off, but I absolutely do not mind the wait for something like this. :3
A/N: Fact: I'm sooooooo weak for Black Knight & Princess Au! I always thought that there is not enough material for this Au, that I should make some, but as much as I have been thinking of that Au, I haven't got much out of me xD Is anyone surprised? Because I'm not :'D But I still kinda hope that I'm going to write more about it, because I have many thoughts to share :3
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Shinichi had always hated dances. Well, he has to admit that it was nice to see how everyone was dressed in their best, kept up good behavior, ate and drink as much as they could, and dances as much as they liked. Like now. Everyone was having fun, the music was great and if he and other knights have luck, maybe they got some of that food, which was always so great. Mouri has probably the best cook that any kingdom could have. Well, it’s most likely that every kingdom said the same of their own cooks.
When you look at things that way, there shouldn’t be anything to complain about. Yet Shinichi found himself in a bad mood every time they informed him about dances. And every time he hoped that there would be some reason to cancel them. Well, it never happened.
So, there he was again, standing in one corner of the ballroom, doing his best not to be noticed and watching how people were dancing. Luckily, like every other knight, most of his face was hidden behind a helmet, so anyone couldn't read anything from his face. No one could see how those blue eyes narrowed when one of those young men asked the princess to dance, and after getting a positive answer, he led her on the dancefloor. Shinichi looked at how that prince put his hand on her waist and the other gripped her delicate hand. He watched how they start to dance, how the princess smiled, laughed… How she looked so happy.
And Shinichi has to use all of his willpower just not to grin. No one needs to see him biting the bullet and wonder what’s wrong with that knight. There was nothing wrong with him! Except that his heart got a new crack and part of him dies every time, but nothing more, nothing less… Nothing which he hasn’t used to already.
Well, that was a lie that he kept telling himself.
It was unbelievable how after all this time it still hurt to saw how the love of his life was there, enjoying everyone’s attention, dancing with all those young men who all promised to her their land and everything she ever dreamed of. And the worst part was that she enjoyed it. Well, maybe not precisely enjoyed it, but she was nice enough to look like she enjoyed it, and sadly it was enough to make Shinichi feel jealous and sad.
He couldn’t ever promise anything to her. He was only a knight, he didn’t have practically anything. Well, he has a roof over his head, food, and uniform, and a few clothes, which king Kogoro thought would be enough. Well, Shinichi didn’t think it was fair, because at least he was one of those who was working particularly 24/7, but he didn’t want to fight with king and queen about it. He knew that the king had drunk too much money, so he could see how this kingdom hasn’t much money to do anything. And in the end, he was there only because of the princess. He knew that it would have been probably wiser to leave and find a job which he got paid enough, but then what? After that, he probably couldn’t even take a step towards the castle. After all, he would be just a normal citizen. The only reason why he was grown up in the castle was that his parents worked for the royal family. But if they wouldn’t, Shinichi wouldn’t be in this situation.
His life and love were all he could give that girl, and because he hadn’t royal blood in him, they meant nothing. All he could do was being obedient and do his job as princess Ran’s personal guard. Well, being her personal guard was much more than he ever dared to dream of. At least he could protect her with his life and make sure that she would be safe and sound. And happy. That was all that mattered.
That was all he could ask for.
And yet he wanted more. There was always something more, even when he had more than he should. Even now, when he looked at her on the dancefloor... If he could just have one dance. Just one chance to take that beautiful and kind princess in his arms, run her over the dancefloor, be the reason why she would smile, laugh, look happy…
“Hey, Kudo?”
Shinichi took his gaze away and looked at the knight who just stood beside him. Well, that knight he recognized easily.
“What’s wrong, Hattori?” he whispered loud enough that Heiji could hear it over the music. “Did something happen?”
“No, just…” He looked away before smiled at him. “Actually, Kazuha has free night today, so I thought that maybe I could sneak out and… You know…”
Shinichi frowned even though he knew Heiji wouldn’t see it. “Come on, Hattori, we have a ballroom full of people, and right now all you can think is a girl?”
“What’s the problem?” Heiji snapped. “There is everything good, isn’t it? I don’t think there is going to happen anything. And it was rare that we have some free time at the same time…”
“Rare?” Shinichi laughed and looked again at the ballroom. “And this morning I just saw you and Kazuha-san spending the lazy morning in the garden, smooching…”
“What?”
“So yeah, you have more than enough free time with her if you ask me”, Shinichi continued and glanced at him. “But if your father is okay with that, then it’s fine. I don’t think you need my permission for anything.”
Heiji sneered. “Yeah, but even if he is knight commander, he respects you pretty much.”
“He respects you too, you know”, Shinichi answered.
“Well, I still don’t want to go to him, at least not now when he stands close king and queen”, Heiji answered and looked behind him. Shinichi followed the gaze and saw how king and queen were talking to some other royals. Behind there was the knight commander, Heizo Hattori, watching closely. “I don’t really care to share my goings to them.”
Shinichi smiled. “You don’t want to go to tell them that you are more interested in your girlfriend instead of keeping this kingdom safe?”
“Haha, Kudo”, Heiji answered dryly, and Shinichi could imagine how his friend just gazed at him angrily. “You sound jealous. Maybe you should give up and find someone…” He stopped and Shinichi had to do everything that his smile wouldn’t fade away. “Ah, sorry, Kudo, I didn’t…”
“It’s okay”, he interrupted and turned to observe the ballroom again. “Go to meet Kazuha-san and have a fun night. I call if I need you.”
He felt a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, Kudo. I owe you one.”
Shinichi nodded and observed from the corner of his eyes how Heiji left. His smile disappeared when he turned his attention back to the princess and her partner. Her eyes were so bright, she smiled beautifully… At least princess Ran was happy. In the end, it didn’t matter who made her happy, as long as they made her happy.
And it was one crack more in his heart.
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Shinichi hated dances. It didn’t matter if they were birthday, summer, Christmas, or whatever dances, he never liked them. Because when the clock passed over the midnight and everyone was drunk enough, all the guests become so irritating. They made fun of him, underrated him (even though he was the one who would sacrifice his life for them), and treat him like a slave. Shinichi didn’t mind helping people and make sure that they have everything, but what he couldn’t take was the attitude of how those royal blood bastards treated him and others who worked in the castle. Like those noblemen were better than they. There wasn’t any hint of gratitude or humility. And it made Shinichi angry every time. How they could survive if there weren’t servants, cooks, knights? What would happen if they all just stopped doing their jobs and leave those nobles alone here?
Yeah, those nobles weren't any better than they were. They were only humans, like them. They just were lucky bastards who just happened to be born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Who just got everything and they didn’t have to even do anything to deserve it. Hell, all they could do would be showing even a little gratitude and humility to their servants who happen to keep them safe and sound. But no.
That’s the one reason why he liked princess Ran so much. She was still humble and kind, grateful. She never thought of herself top of others. She even put everyone else before her. She was a princess who just wanted to make sure that everyone was fine and happy.
Well, like his opinion mattered. He still needed to stay calm and just smile kindly to those guests.
So he was so relieved when almost every guest has landed in their rooms to sleep. Or doing whatever they wanted, Shinichi didn’t care. It was those knights’ problems who happened to have night sift on those corridors. Shinichi’s only problem was what happens in the corridor where the princess sleeps, and just because he was in a bad mood, he would kick anyone out if they even try come close to the princess’ room. Just because he can.
And that was the first thing he needed to do when he got on that corridor. One of those princes stood on the princess’ door knocking it, shouting something about letting him in, that he has something important to talk to the princess. He even had some flowers in his hand. The worst part was that he looked like he was a little drunk. Shinichi wanted to laugh. Really, that looked so pitiful. And how happy gardeners would be tomorrow when they see that someone had stolen flowers from the garden? It was probably too much to ask that this prince had cut them nicely.
So once again he needed to hear how trash he was, just because he was a worthless knight, whose only job was to die. Sadly for the prince, Shinichi had heard that so many times that his little smile wouldn’t twist one way or another.
“Listen, your highness”, he said a tip of mock in his voice, though he was sure that prince didn’t even notice it. “Princess Ran is sleeping, so as her personal guard, I ask you to go back to your room and come back tomorrow.”
“But this is important, you know! I need to meet her now!” prince muttered and turned to slam the door again. “PRINCESS RAN, I...”
Shinichi grabbed his hand making him stop. Prince broke from it and stepped away. “DON’T TOUCH ME YOU FILTHY…”
“If you please, would you go back to your room”, Shinichi said calmly and stepped in front of Ran’s door, making sure that the prince wouldn’t try anything anymore. “Come back tomorrow, thank you”, he continued and bowed a little. Just enough to make sure that he has respected that brat, and no one could give him an earful later because of this.
Prince throws his flowers towards him, which was pathetic because they just dropped on the floor between them. Then that young man started to walk away, murmuring something himself. Shinichi straightened himself and let his eyes follow how the prince's shadow disappeared.
Then he heard a little click behind him. He took a step away from the door, looked at it, and saw how the princess slowly opened it a little, just peeking outside.
“Is he gone?”
Shinichi looked at the end of the corridor. “Yeah, he is gone.”
“Thank god”, Ran sighed and opened the door more stepping back to her room. Shinichi realised her having a dressing gown which only was above her knees. He hasn't seen it before, though he was pretty sure that it was a little too short for her. He looked away. Well, in the end, it wasn't his place to judge. Though he wouldn't mind if he would be the only one who would see that...
Just do your check-up and leave, okay?
“I really thought he would never give up”, Ran continued while Shinichi stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “So persist…”
“You could have just said you’re not interested”, Shinichi smiled and took his helmet off. Ran shook her head and Shinichi looked around him. “And it seems like Sonoko got lost on her journey in here?”
Ran laughed. “No, I gave her this evening free”, she answered with a mischievous smile. “In the end, Kyogoku-san was one of the guests, so I thought she wants to spend some time with her prince.”
Yeah, there was another lucky pair.
“You have weird maids”, Shinichi said and looked at Ran, which was a mistake. Somehow his eyes managed to see how her dressing gown was too loose on her chest and whatever nightshirt she was wearing under the gown, it showed a little too much. He felt like she was doing this on purpose. She didn't do this easy for him, not tonight. So he looked away, pretending to check the balcony door behind her. “Both of them have free time at the same time even though they had job to do. Can you believe, even Hattori slipped out midway of dances?”
Ran giggled and made Shinichi look at her. “You can’t blame them, can you?” she asked and before Shinichi realised it, her fingers took the helmet from his hands. “It’s a beautiful night, people are partying beginning of the summer… It’s pretty romantic time to spend some time with the one you love.”
Shinichi wanted to roll his eyes, but he didn’t. He wanted to argue against it, yet he knew that maybe he would have wanted to spend some time with his special someone tonight if he would have had a chance. So he kept his mouth shut.
“And truth to be told”, Ran continued when she let his helmet resting on the bureau, “I would have also loved to be somewhere else than here tonight.”
Ran turned to him, and Shinichi felt how his heart raced on his chest. He wanted to say that he would have taken her everywhere she ever wanted, but he didn’t. He just stares at those beautiful eyes wondering how far he would get if he took that young woman and just escape. Would there be a place where they could hide the rest of their lives?
But this kingdom needed their princess. They needed this kind and fair princess to be their queen one day, to be the one who would restore this land. People loved their princess, and they would wait… Shinichi couldn’t be selfish enough to steal their hope.
So instead, he let himself smile a little. “Well, I can take you somewhere when you have some free time.”
She smiled and shook her head. “It’s not the same”, she said and stepped closer to him. He didn’t move, not even when she stood in front of him, so close to him. Both of her hands laid on his chest and Shinichi was so sure that she would feel his heart beating fast. And even if her closeness isn’t enough, she raised her face and he met her bright light purple eyes, red lips, pink cheeks…
“I would have loved to be with you... See those fireworks with you.”
Somewhere in his head, there was a voice that said not to fell for it. The voice reminded him that if he wouldn't give up on this now, it would be much harder later when the time comes. It reminded him that he should just do his check-up and leave.
But his heart said that he should just continue. He should just go for it, enjoy what they still got...
And even if it wasn't his heart that would fight against his brains, he still got his weaknesses. And when it came to Ran… Voice of reason never won. He was never strong enough. Never.
His hands found her lower back and while he closed that little gap between them, he lowered enough to meet those red, soft lips against his. Those lips which he has stolen too many times before, lips which he wanted to keep only himself. Lips that could become his early death. Lips that he should leave to someone else.
He never was able to turn around and leave.
Shinichi withdrew from the kiss a little, his lips touching hers when he spoke: "I would have loved that too."
send me ❤ and I will bold all that applies to your muse
I would kill for you. • I would make love to you. • I would fuck you. • I would protect you. • I would hurt you for a selfish cause. • I wish we had more in common. • I want nothing to do with you. • I want to see you cry. • I want a future with you. • I want to destroy your future. • I do not care what you do. • I am indifferent towards you. • I want children with you. • I love you ( platonically ) • I love you ( romantically ) • I love you like family. • You are my family. • I could fall in love with you. • I would lie for you. • I would fight by your side. • I will never let you go. • I would hold you while you cried. • I would hug you. • I would kiss you. • I would stay by your bedside if you were ill. • I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. • I want to forget you. • I will never forget you. • I only want to make you proud happy. • I wish I could make you happy. • You deserve nothing. • I will never forgive you. • You confuse me.
◤If you want me to have a complete breakdown just show me an otp where one says “keep your eyes on me” when they’re trying to calm the other◢
Vision shaking, breaths coming short– darkness claims the edges of his world as his eyes wavered, panic staining unraveling seams as his thoughts rose, desperately climbing precariously high in search of exits then wobbling as they hit blocked off ceilings (where’s the sky–?!); crashing around him in a sea of failure– connections aren’t helping anymore; nothing of the clever running, sparks of inspiration already decapitated and bloody on the ground– oh god, oh god, oh god–
Then–
“Ran…?”
The name’s cracked with disbelief; as his eyes snap up to blue blue blue– searching the familiar face for something, something– his lips shakily trying for a smile, but it slips off in seconds–
