Tagging: @simpforkhun @galahlii865 @captain-effy @paintedphantasmagoria @sirensskai <we didn't talk much so I hope u don't mind me tagging lol @crystalflame360 @funderberkersims
uhh TAGS!!!! @lavender-rex @satelliteofsin @stangeranfanficion @xolborsaysstuff @excessivepyromania @portal-patters @keeperofthebees and obv anyone else who wants to join smileys
[image id 1: an image of hannibal lecter from hannibal nbc. he is smiling proudly and has multiple scabbing injuries on the right side of his face. /end id.]
[image id 2: a uquiz result headed with navy blue text reading "full of golden light". underneath, in black text on a white background, reads: "the smell of soup cooking in the other room. golden hour sunlight peeking in through the windows. laughter that bounces against the walls and smiles you can't help but mirror. you're easy to approach. your best feature is probably your smile. you don't mind looking silly if it makes people laugh. you're not easily embarrassed. you're calm and you make people feel at ease. you're a good listener because you really really care what they have to say. people leave every interaction with you feeling just a little bit more loved. you're a kind soul, and people can see that. you mean so much more to people than you know." /end id.]
How about it, @rapogirl13 @mitebitmurderous @chidorinnnnn @stonesandswords @hopelesscatdad and anyone who wants on the bandwagon. I think I got the best result but the quiz says nice things to you throughout
Are y'all following @cosmic-wonders-series made by the awesome @itsapmseymour? If not, you should because then you can see the beautiful moon gal Cyana!
Okay, so right now I'm obsessed with Good Omens, and like someone pointed out earlier in this same post, choosing between the angel and the demon is impossible! It's like a law of nature: There is no Aziraphale without Crowley and no Crowley without Aziraphale. They are two sides of the same coin, yin and yang, and you just don't separate them! Like... it's impossible! But I have seen how much hate that kind and sweet angel has gotten, so I decided to choose Aziraphale †Me and Crowley (and hopefully many others) love him, no matter what â€
And now, here is a big, fat lie: I couldn't find any pictures where there would be only Aziraphale, so you know, no can do, I have to take this one where they both are (looking at each other so lovingly...)!
About the result: This makes me sound like I'm something special and mysterious, and to be honest, I'm not xD At least I don't feel like it: You just have to ask and I will tell you everything about me; Some people have said that there is wisdom in my words, but it sounds absurd because I think I don't ever say anything special or wise, etc., just stupid things that I probably regret later :'D
But I have to admit, those two last sentences hit me a little too hard.
It's time to tag! I'll try my luck with @otaku-108 , @circumference-pie , and everyone else who would like to do this â€
A/N: So, here we are! Another fic has come to its end. And like with other fics, I feel sad because I have worked with this so long, so it feels a little empty when you are done, like: âIâm not going to work with this one anymore.â But I still feel proud that I got this fic done! It makes me happy to know that I have finished another fic, especially now that Iâm also studying!
About the next one: I don't know when I will get the next fic out because... well, I have studies to do, but I haven't decided what I'm going to write next, so... xD Most of you have asked for a new Arranged Marriage fic, so probably the next one is it. But I have also been interested in the idea of some kind of Wild West AU where Shinichi spends his time helping sheriff/s to keep order in their town even though he isnât sheriff himself (maybe he is too young to be one?). But one day he would meet a young bandit woman/girl - and you guessed right, she is Ran x) -, and they would get to know each other and fall in love! But like I said, I'm not sure which one Iâm going to work on next (because I know some of you have waited for requests so long!), but we will see!
But yeah, I hope you have enjoyed this fic! I also want to thank all the likes, comments, and reblogs, they mean so much to me †Thank you so much for being here and following this story even though you have waited chapters long time †Thank you â€
Ran observed how that American woman lifted her head and looked at Shinichi. Her eyes were red from crying, yet she tried to smile. Ran felt bad because even though Shinichi said otherwise, she still felt like she was the one who had made those tears, the one who had made that womanâs life miserable. It was her fault that Shinichi had broken up with that woman, who genuinely seemed to love Shinichi. Ran couldnât even guess how it must feel when all this time Julia had believed in marrying that man who had now left her for another woman. Though Ran also knew that Shinichi didnât feel too good about it either, but like he had said, love was never easy.
Ran would have loved to say something to that woman, make her feel even somehow better, but she also knew that there wasnât anything that would make Julia feel better. The time would be the best healer.
And when she thought about it, maybe she wasnât the right person to say anything.
âI am tooâ, Julia answered.
âAre you going to be okay?â Shinichi asked, looking worried. âI mean⊠I donât feel excellent to let you go before we had talked about this and make sure we are fine.â
âItâs okay, Shinichiâ, Julia said and Ran felt a little jealous when she saw how Julia raised her hands on Shinichiâs chest. âIâm fine and I understand and probably with time I also agree with this even though right now this feels very unfair. To⊠let go of someone you love. ButâŠâ Then she looked at Shinichi. âBut I believe you know the feeling.â
âVery wellâ, Shinichi answered. âAnd more than that, I hate to be the one who makes you feel like that.â
âI know, Shinichi, I really doâ, she answered gently. âBut I need a little time to deal with this. But as I promised, we would talk about this more as soon as I am ready. Okay?â
âYeahâ, Shinichi answered. And then they hugged. And even though it felt cute and touching and Ran was happy that this breakup was friendly and not full of hate and jealousy, she couldnât ignore that one feelingâŠ
âOkay, Ran-chanâ, Ran heard Yukiko say, making her take her eyes away from Shinichi and Julia. Yukiko was smiling brightly, which kind of made her feel relieved. To be honest, Shinichiâs parents had taken it pretty well when Shinichi and Ran had met them for breakfast and told them what had happened. Even though Ran had known Shinichiâs parents like forever and they were the nicest and kindest people Ran knew, she had been so scared to meet them again. In the end, she and Shinichi broke up because of her, and now Shinichi has broken up with his fiancee because of Ran. But they had been kind and welcoming, even though they had also been worried about Julia.
But that was only understandable. And Ran was too. But she was happy that Julia even had someone who would travel back to America with her and maybe be there for her too. Someone who would make sure that she would be okay.
Because Shinichi would stay in Japan - at least for now.
âPromise to take good care of our little Shin-chan?â Yukiko said and took her into a tight hug.
Ran let out a laugh and hugged back. That was so familiar because it wasnât the first time that Yukiko had said that to her. âI willâ, she promised. Sadly, she still caught Julia saying something, which went like this: âIf you ever get tired of her, remember that Iâm the next on the line, okay?â Shinichi laughed, but she couldnât hear the answer, because Yukiko let go of her and smiled looking a little sad.
âAnd remember call from time to timeâ, she continued. âBecause Shin-chan doesnâtâŠâ
âLet him be, Yukikoâ, Yusaku interrupted gently. âShinichi would call when he feel like it.â
âButâŠâ
âAnd the same goes if she gets tired of youâ, Ran caught Julia saying, and instead of listening to Yukikoâs and Yusakuâs conversation, her centralization went to Julia and Shinichi. âYou are always welcome back to me.â
And as an answer, Shinichi still smiled and said: âWell, I keep that in my mind.â
Ran turned to look at those two to see that they were done with huggings. And Yukiko just went to them while Julia moved aside. âShin-chan, are you sure youâre going to be fine?â she asked and hugged Shinichi tightly.
âMom, Iâm an adult.â
âBut youâre still my little boyâŠâ
Hearing that groan as an answer made Ran smile, but she turned her eyes to Julia, who also looked at those two. Even though she felt a little uneasy and jealous after those little conversations that she had heard Julia and Shinichi to talk, part of her still felt bad and she still wanted to apologize about this. And maybe now that the parents were saying goodbyes to their son, she decided this would be her chance.
âJulia-san?â
Light blue eyes turned to look at her, and if she had looked at Shinichi softly, now her facial expression hardened. Ran felt bad being the reason for that cold behavior, but she hoped that one day she could forgive her. In the end, what she had learned about Julia, she seemed to be a nice person.
âI want to apologize for everythingâ, Ran said and bowed deeply. âI know itâs my fault that this happened and you need to go through all thisâŠâ Then she straightened and smiled. âBut if there is something I can help with, donât hesitate to ask.â And thatâs all she could promise.
Julia just stared at her for a moment before she started to smile slowly, but it wasnât a warm or friendly smile. âWell, all you can do now is take better care of him than last time.â
It was kind of a spike in her heart, but maybe she deserved that. âI willâ, she promised.
âGoodâ, Julia said. âAnd if you donât, donât worry: I will take him back and ensure you wonât hurt him ever again.â
âItâs time to goâ, Yusakuâs voice said, making Julia break eye contact and leave Ran there, looking after her. They said their last goodbyes, which Ran participated too, but somehow she couldnât concentrate on it. Even though she knew that Julia had probably said those words just because she was angry with her - and she knew that if she would break up with Shinichi again, he would deserve a woman like Julia -, it left her chill. Like it was a threat.
Well, that it probably was, but it was a harmless one. Ran knew it. She also knew that the reason why she took it so personally was because she still felt guilty for this break-up and Julia hadnât said that with a friendly tone. And there was also the truth that she could have handled her break up with Shinichi a little better five years ago.
âYou shouldnât take her words too seriously, you know.â
Ran looked at Shinichi who still looked after his parents and Julia. But it made something tightening in her chest. How much he had heard?
âWhat are you talking about?â Ran asked, trying to look like she had no idea what he was talking about. But Shinichi looked at her with that smile that he had when he had discovered something crucial for his deduction.
âThat Julia would take me back if you got tired of meâ, he said and turned. âShe is just angry, but she would get over thisâ, he continued and walked to the windows. Ran followed with her eyes as he leaned on the railing in front of them and just looked outside all those planes.
He wasnât wrong, but this probably would take some time for all of them, to get over and get okay with everything they had done and said. She was happy that this hadnât been any kind of war, but it was still the truth Julia was heartbroken and both Shinichi and Ran felt bad for it. And it would take some time - even for her and Shinichi - to accept this and live with it. And probably the most crucial thing would be the talk with Julia when she would be ready. Because only after she makes peace and gets over this, Shinichi and Ran would be ready to leave this behind.
And maybe somewhere deep down Ran was a little bit scared. Would Julia come back one day and fight back into his heart? Would she try to do something to sabotage his relationship with Ran? Or maybe Shinichi would realise one day that he was really in love with Julia and not with Ran? One day he would say that he would like to break up and return to Julia, and⊠andâŠ
But maybe those were worthless thoughts that didnât matter. There was no point in thinking about those now. Only time will show.
And it had been five years, she thought. Five years and Ran knew that she was still deeply in love with him, and what Shinichi had said, she believed he felt the same. If that time hadnât broken them apart, she didnât believe that it would happen any time soon. Maybe being apart from each other and experiencing different kinds of relationships had only made them stronger, taught them, and made them see differently. Made them see that maybe they couldnât live without each other.
Maybe this only showed that they would always get back to each other.
And if Shinichi had stayed the same, Ran knew that he wouldnât made lightly his decisions. If he had been ready to marry Julia, he wouldnât have broken up with her on a whim. He wouldnât have stayed in Japan without being sure of his feelings for Ran. He wouldnât have stayed if he wouldnât have been sure that he would have wanted to start over with her.
So she walked to him, touching his back gently when getting beside him. Shinichi turned his head to look at her.
âAre you regretting this already?â she asked with a smile, and even though she said it as a joke, she needed to know that he was sure about this. In the end, he hadnât had weeks or even days to think about this through. He didnât have a home, no property, no⊠well, not anything else than the luggage he had brought from America and everything that was inside.
Shinichi started to smile and looked back outside from the window. âI donâtâ, he answered. âWell, maybe a little bit, because I just stayed behind and didnât let any of my friends know. And honestly, Iâm a little bit worried about Julia.â
Ran turned her eyes out from the window.
âBut staying with you feels the right thing to do.â
When Ran turned to look at him again, she saw how he straightened himself before turning to look at her, putting his hand around Ran and pulling her closer.
âBut you donât have anything with youâ, Ran said. âAnd this all happened so fast.â
Shinichi smiled. âBut I have youâ, he said, making Ran blush. âAnd thatâs all I need.â
âSmooth talkerâ, Ran said and looked away even though her cheeks were burning.
Shinichi laughed and she felt a kiss on her cheek before he made her turn and took her into his gentle embrace. She felt a kiss on her head.
âWhateverâ, she heard him say. âBut I have to admit: right here, right now, this is the first time in five years I feel like Iâm home.â
She felt how he leaned his head against hers, and for some unexplained reason, she felt tears in her eyes. Ran leaned on him while his arms tightened around her, hugging her tightly. She let her head lean on his shoulder, closing her eyes and feeling that familiar warmth, letting those tears escape. Maybe she understood him now while being in this only place where she felt safe and good. Where she felt like a home. Like this was the only place where she belonged. For this - for him, she would have dropped everything else if it would mean that she could have been with him.
And she realised how much she had missed him all these years.
Yeah. This was the only place where she belonged.
âWelcome back homeâ, she said, trying to tighten her grip around him. She wouldnât let him go ever again. Never.
Shinichi took part in the class reunion, which hadn't gone as he had thought of: His mother and Sonoko had claimed that he still loved Ran was the most ridiculous thing, and even if that's not enough, his old classmates had taken him to the nightclub and finally Ran had taken him to the dancefloor. Though he had had fun and finally remembered every detail that he had loved in RanâŠ
A/N: Happy New Year to everyone †Without any other words, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6: Acceptance
Those blue eyesâŠÂ
They were still so beautiful, so captivating. Ran could have stared at them the whole day without getting tired of them. They were something that Ran wanted just to drown in. She had forgotten how soft and yet firm his hands were around her, she had forgotten how safe she still felt in his arms, how comfy it was to feel him close to herâŠ
And she felt him coming closer to her. That same, familiar warmth that she had always felt while being near to him, calling her closer, asking her attention. She felt his breath mixing with hers and those same butterflies started to fly around her stomach the same way as when they kissed for the first time. She couldnât wait to feel his lips, afterâŠ
And it all disappeared so fast, leaving Ran in the cold. Confused she opened her eyes, meeting Shinichiâs terrified face. She frowned. What wasâŠ
And only then she realised what she had done. And she stepped away from him.
âI⊠Iâm⊠IâŠâ She tried to say something, but somehow any word didnât come out. She looked away, trying to avoid those blue eyes that were looking at her. She just couldnât meet his eyes and⊠andâŠ
What were you thinking?! Trying to kiss a man who was in a relationship with someone else, who is going to be married one day? From all the people she, who had always been loyal and thought that she would never seduce anyone who would be in a relationship or be a part of someoneâs cheating, was here, trying to kiss him! He who she knew was also loyal, kind-hearted, someone who would never cheat.
What in the world was she doing?!
âI⊠Just⊠I need to go to the bathroomâ, she said fast and turned around, walking fast to the closest toilets. She just needed to get away, away from him, away from those blue eyes. She needed time, needed to be alone, and⊠andâŠ
She just opened the first door and went inside, locking the door behind her. Yet, she avoided the mirror, looking only at the sink until she got closer and opened the tap. She just couldnât face herself.
She was so ashamed.
She lowered and washed her face with cold water. She knew she was ruining her makeup, but she needed it, she really needed it. She needed to shape up, get hold of herself, and⊠andâŠ
And yet it made her feel only worse, and it was because somehow all those per milles that she had had, felt like they were washed away too. It made her only more aware of what she had done.
You stupid, what were you thinking? She couldnât answer for it. She really couldnât. She didnât have any idea what she had thought or how in the world she had dared to try to kiss him.
God, who was she trying to kid? All the thoughts that had been in her head in that moment had probably been how handsome he had looked. Again, she had fallen into those beautiful blue eyes, into that irresistible smile, let herself lull in his soft voice, wrapped herself in those strong and safe arms. She had let herself fall again under his charm and somehow forgot that he was engaged to someone else. She had let her guard down and lost that control that she had had.
Or had she had any? She started to doubt it. When it came to him, maybe she had never had any kind of control. And even a thought of that made her desperate. Why she hadnât realised it? Why she had thought that she could still spend some time with him like in high school? How she had thought that it wouldnât affect her in any way, even when she had known that she still had feelings for him? If she had been so shocked about hearing him having a fiancee, how she had thought that she could still be with him as a friend?
Maybe that idea had only been there because she had been so sad about the truth that tomorrow he would be gone again. She had been so sad about the truth that she had met probably the most important person in her life again, after five years, and her heart would have a big hole just because he would be gone again. All she had thought had probably been that she would want to spend as much time with him as she could before losing him again.
It seemed to be a mistake. And now she had destroyed that little what they have had. She wouldnât be surprised if⊠ifâŠ
And when she raised her face, looking at herself from the mirror, she saw tears flooding on her cheeks.
This whole class reunion has been a mistake.
Shinichi just stood there, staring at the empty place in front of him. For a moment ago, Ran had been there, but now she was gone and he wasnât even sure where.
And all his feelings were mixed up together, and he wasnât even sure where to start or what to think.
What to think? Well, that was a good question. Because what in the hell was he thinking? For a moment he had just danced with Ran, having fun, laughing with her, but in another second he had caught himself trying to kiss her. Why? Why?! He would never cheat on his love with anyone, not for any reason, because that wasnât right! Because that was something that he wouldnât want to be done to him either. When there had been problems or doubts or something, he had always talked about them with another one. Because he believed that talking before doing anything unforgivable was the better option.
Why he hadnât realised it sooner? Why hadnât he stopped earlier? Where had he even got the urge to kiss her so suddenly?
âYou still love her.â
No, I donâtâŠ
âI donât think you really let go of Ran-chan.â
Shinichi closed his eyes and shook his head trying to get those words out from his head. He did let go of Ran, right? He really did! The reason why he left was to give him more time to move on and leave her behind, and⊠andâŠ
Why did he still feel like a loser? Like he was just lying to himself?
Shinichi opened his eyes and raised his left hand enough to look at the engagement ring. He loved Julia. He really did. He had meant it when he had asked her to marry him. ButâŠ
But.
Shinichi let out a heavy sigh and turned to leave. He glanced at tables where all his high school classmates were, having fun, and for a moment he hoped that he could be there with them. He kind of wished that he would have stayed with them, being as carefree as they were right now. Laughing with them sounded a much better option than fighting with his feelings and thoughts.
Just forgot how - again - he had just messed up his life.
It was his time to leave before anything else would become more complicated. And part of him wanted to say goodbyes to them, because after tomorrow, he wasnât sure when he would meet or hear about those people again, but he was also pretty sure that they would try to make him stay longer. And right now, he wasnât really in the mood to fight with them. So he avoided their tables as much as possible and left without saying anything. It was a little chill outside, but he still decided to walk: the hotel wasnât that far, and he needed a little time to think about what he was going to do.
Because that was sure that he needed to talk with Julia. But then what?
He felt lost. As lost as he felt after the breakup with Ran.
Well, maybe the first step was to finally admit the truth. And even though he didnât like it - and even less because it seemed that his mother and Sonoko had realised it sooner than him - it was the truth. After what had happened, he just couldnât lie to himself anymore.
He still loved Ran. He loved her more than anything. More than Julia.
But what would happen next? What he would do with that truth?
As long as he was in love with Ran, he knew that he wouldnât be worth Julia. It wouldnât be fair for her that he would dream about someone else. He wasnât even sure if he could live with Julia in the same way as he had done at this point. He couldnât give all his love to her, as much as he would like to. Because a big part of it belonged still to Ran, and as long as he was still clinging to Ran, he couldnât be there for Julia.
But could he get over Ran? He wasnât sure anymore. Even for a few days ago, he was sure that he was over her. God, it could have been thought that after five years he would have gotten over her and lost his romantic feelings for her, but joke on him, there he was, proving himself wrong! And if he hadnât gotten over her over five years while trying to work on it, how he could do it now? How many five years he would need more?
Because even though his mother applied something else, he was still pretty sure that he had done everything to get over Ran. Even though it had hurt, he had finally opened up and talked about his feelings and their breakup with other people, including Julia. And every time it had made him feel better, but it seemed that any of that hadnât really taken away his feelings or changed them. The only reason - probably - why he hadnât felt like this, was because he hadnât seen or heard about Ran in a long time. He had kind of moved her aside, âforgotâ her, lived in his little bubble, and pretended to be happy and in love with someone else. And now that bubble had been pierced.
So he wasnât sure if going back to America and trying to be with Julia was a very good option. Not if he couldnât get over Ran. Which kind of left him with one other option.
He would break up with Julia.
He would do the same that Ran did to him over five years ago.
Well, he should talk with Julia before making any harsh decision, and to be honest, he didnât feel good about this, but deep down he already knew his decision. He even hated that one, but he also knew that it would be the better - both of them. He was madly in love with someone else and Julia deserved better. He couldnât promise to get over Ran if he wasnât even sure he could do that.
But if he broke up with Julia, what would he do then?
Shinichi stopped in front of the hotel where they were staying and looked at its front. Even though he knew that the first thing was to talk with Julia, he still felt so lost. Even though he knew deep down that breaking up with Julia was probably the most reasonable solution, he still didnât like it. He still remembered how it had hurt when Ran had told him about her decision, and to be honest, he didnât like to hurt anyone ever again.
But if he didnât get over Ran, he would hurt Julia anyway. He would always hurt her.
Shinichi let out a sigh. Well, he was probably thinking this too much. It was almost midnight and Julia was probably sleeping already. His chance to talk to her would be in the morning. And that made him feel uneasy because part of him would have liked to get over this as soon as possible, but at the same time, maybe this would give him more time to prepare.
Though he wasnât sure how he could prepare for it. Could anyone be ready for a talk like that? And he was pretty sure that these thoughts and feelings wouldnât let him sleep.
The hotelâs doors opened and he stepped inside. Somehow his feet felt heavier and his walk just slowed before he stopped middle of the lounge. He felt like he wasnât ready to go to their room, not at all. He lowered his head, looking at the floor.
Part of him wanted to turn to his parents and talk about this whole mess. He knew that they probably couldnât help him, but maybe he just wanted to talk about this with someone, get it out of his chest, and maybe they could give him some kind of advice or something. But he didnât feel very proud of himself right now, and even though he knew his parents would be kind and wouldnât judge him - and it probably wouldnât surprise them that he still loved Ran -, he still felt like they would be ashamed of him. He knew that he was wrong, but he couldnât help it.
But if he would stay alone, he would just feel guilty about the whole mess he had made. And he wasnât sure if he could just go to their room and lie down beside Julia like nothing had happened. That would probably only make him feel more guilty.
Maybe he just should turn to his parents. They would understand, right? And even the idea, of spending the whole night alone with these thoughtsâŠ
âShinichi!â
And even if he wanted to say that voice was the best thing he knew, hearing it made him feel sick. He hadnât waited to hear that voice this soon. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping that he wouldnât vomit right there.
He wasnât ready for this.Â
Yet he opened his eyes and raised his head to see, how Julia ran to him, looking surprised, but happy. Her hair was in a bun and she had a nice dress and high heels, and Shinichi was pretty sure that she had been in the hotelâs restaurant with his parents.
And even though he had a moment ago wondered if he should speak with his parents, now he started to hope that they wouldnât come out to witness that exact moment when their only son was going to mess up everything he had.
And it was enough that Julia was there, smiling happily and those bright eyes looking at him. It just made everything harder. Even though he knew that it would be best just to tell her everything, he hated to be the one who would swipe that happiness away from her.
But whatever he would do, he would make her life just miserable.
âHey, darlingâ, she greeted him in English, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. Shinichi hugged her back even though that little gesture felt also so wrong. âI thought you would be back laterâ, she continued before kissing him on the cheek and moving a little away to meet his face. âHowâŠâ Yet, that question died there while that happiness changed into a worried look. âIs⊠everything okay?â
And Shinichi let his hands drop, making her take a step away from him. Yet, he observed those light blue eyes and thought about this one last time. She was nice and kind, energetic, he liked her. Not strong-willed but loving. He genuinely loved her, he really didâŠ
But not as much as he loved Ran. She was strong-willed, had her own mind, and dared to say what she was thinking, didnât turn around because he said so. Her touch was soft, her orchid-colored eyes special, and her smile the most beautiful. With her, everything was easy, comforting⊠She made his head pound, she made him stare at her, wanting to memorize all details of her, every shape of her, observe her every movement, learn her every mood, every expression, everyâŠ
She was still the mystery that attracted him. The mystery he wanted to investigate, learnâŠ
And Julia could never be that close.
And even though he would go back to America with her, trying to forget Ran again⊠It wouldnât be fair to her.
Julia deserved better. Better than this.
Better than him.
âShinichi?â
âI⊠I almost kissed her.â
âWh⊠what?â
Shinichi closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, before meeting her eyes again. They were mixed in confusion, but at the same time, he could see a hint of sadness and hurt.
âRanâ, he said finally. âI⊠I almost kissed her.â
And seeing how that confusion changed into sadness and hurt, he knew she had understood where he was going with this. He wanted to say something, but he had no words. He didnât feel good just to tell her that it was over, but at the same time, he didnât want to say out loud that he still loved Ran.
âSo⊠You still love her?â
Well, she said it. And looking at those eyes made Shinichi feel pretty bad. Over five years ago, he had looked at different colored eyes that looked exactly the same, and back then, even though the situation had been a little different, he had hoped that he wouldnât be the reason for those hurt and sad eyes, but it seemed that he couldnât do anything else than bring misery.
He dropped his eyes because he just couldnât look at her any longer. âI doâ, he admitted. âMore than anythingâ, he added before he could stop himself.
âWhy?â
The question made Shinichi raise his head to look at her. She looked angry. âWhy?â she repeated. âWhy do you still love her that much? After all this time? God, she was the one who threw you away, she was the one who broke your heart! She was the one who left you and moved on, and still, you care about her enough to leave everything else behind you?â
âShe had her reasonâ, Shinichi said. âI lied to herâŠâ
âJust to keep her safeâ, Julia shouted. âAnd if she would have loved you as much as you love her, she would have understood it!â
Shinichi felt how something cracked in his heart. âJuliaâŠâ
âWhat in the world makes her so special that you still can love her?â
Shinichi lowered his eyes. Everything, he wanted to answer. You have met her, you can tell, he wanted to say. Like he could name anything or even tell. This was ridiculous, because Shinichi had always had some explanation for everything, something reasonable to explain himself, but this time, he just couldnât. It was a feeling that he had. When he was near Ran, everything felt somehow different: relaxed and comforting, and yet a little bit exciting. Every time Ran was away, he missed her, thought of her, wondering what she was doing, if she was okay. And every time he thought about her, he just wanted to see her. He just wanted to be close to her, be with herâŠ
âShe just⊠isâ, he said finally and let out a weak laugh, because his answer was so childish, so stupid. Yet, he couldnât give any better. âEverything just feels so much different with herâ, he continued and met Juliaâs eyes finally. âI donât say I didnât feel good being with you, but somehow, with Ran, everything I feel with her goes even further. Like⊠far beyond.â He shrugged. âI canât explain it, really, but⊠for me, she is special.â
âSo special that after everything, you would go back to her if she would give you a chance?â
Shinichi smiled shortly. âI wouldâ, he answered. He wasnât proud of that answer, but he knew deep down that it was the truth. Ran could throw him away as many times as she would like to, but he would be fool enough to still love her and go back if she would just ask him to. But then he let out a sigh. âBut she wonât want me backâ, he said, feeling another sting in his heart, but tried to ignore it. âShe had said it herself.â
âGoodâ, Julia said much harsher than Shinichi waited for. âBecause I think she doesnât deserve you.â
âNoâ, Shinichi corrected. âI think I donât deserve anyone.â
âYouâre wrong, Shinichiâ, Julia said and her expression softened. Shinichi observed how she came closer, lowering her hand to his chest⊠âYou deserve only the bestâ, she said with a smile.
I donât, he wanted to argue.
Julia lowered her head for a moment before meeting his eyes again. âIf you need more time to get over her, we can take a breakâ, she suggested, smiling at him. He could still see tears in her eyes. âYou can take as much time as you need. I will wait. As long as you need me to.â
Shinichi lowered his eyes and smiled.
âI asked someone once to wait for meâ, he said silently. âAnd she waited. As long as I needed her to. And for what?â He raised his head and smiled at her sadly. âIâm not worth waiting. Donât waste your time for me.â
âShinichiâŠâ
âReallyâ, he stopped her. âBecause⊠As much as I want to say I can get over her, somewhere deep down I know that I canât. And⊠Itâs not fair to you. Itâs not fair to waste your time if I canât get over her.â He kept a little pause. âIf I canât give you back as much as you deserve.â
Julia still kept looking at him, tears in her eyes, like pleading, hoping for a difference. And Shinichi looked back, determined. He felt bad. He really did. But it was for her best. She wouldnât wait for him, she didnât need to go through the same as Ran once did. Instead, she would have all the time to get over this and⊠and find someone who would deserve her and could make her happy.
But even though Shinichi felt a little bit better, he had no idea what he would do next. Probably like Julia, he had thought of going back to America, marrying Julia, and maybe starting a family with her, but now that has changed. All he seemed to know to do was to break his own and others' hearts, and it seemed that again he was the one who would carry that sadness on his shoulders. He felt like he was at the same point as he was five years ago. He was lost again.
âI canât turn you around, can I?â, Julia said finally.
âYou canâtâ, he said. âItâs better this way.â
She let out a broken sigh, yet, even though there were tears in her eyes, she smiled.
âIf I can be honest, I⊠I was a little afraid this would happenâ, she continued and looked a little down. It made his heart crack. âThat day, I⊠I saw how you looked at her, andâŠâ She let out a broken laugh. âWell, I realised that you may still like her.â
God, had it really shown from him? But if Julia had seen it and suspected something, why hadnât she said anything?
âIâm so sorry, Juliaâ, he said finally and lowered his head. âI should have realised it sooner. I should have realised that Iâm not over her andâŠâ He let out a weak laugh. âI still think I like you, pretty much, but⊠butâŠâ
âIâm not her.â
âYouâre notâ, Shinichi admitted. âShe is just⊠She is just something⊠special.â
âWell, you can tell it to herâ, Julia said finally. Shinichi frowned but observed how Julia took the engagement ring from her finger and grabbed Shinichiâs hand, putting it on his palm. Then she met his eyes again. âBecause of what I have seen and heard, I think she loves you too.â
Shinichi frowned at the same time when Julia let go of her ring and took a step away from him. âRan?â he asked confused. Then he let out a dry laugh and shook his head. âI have told you, she doesnât like me like that anymoreâŠâ
âReally?â she asked unamused and looked somewhere behind him. âThen why she is here, then?â
Slowly, Shinichi turned around to look at the outdoors. And to his surprise, Ran stood there, looking at them, like she wasnât sure if she should come closer or leave.
How much she had seen?
âI take my things and take another roomâ, he heard Julia say. He turned to look at her, and she had already turned her back to him.
âJuliaâŠâ
âWe are fineâ, she said without turning to look at him. âBut if you excuse me, I feel like I need to go to cry my heartbreak out, so⊠I need a little bit of time to myself.â
He knew he had done enough already, but he wished he could do something to make her feel better or take that pain away. But he couldnât do anything else than say: âIâm sorry, Julia⊠I really am.â
She looked at him over her shoulder, trying to smile. âYou and me both, Shinichiâ, she said before turning and walking away.
What a mess he had arranged again. But maybe he deserved this.
âRanâ, he said and turned to look at his childhood friend who had come closer to him, looking worried and like she had⊠cried. And he also realised that she had lost her make-up. To be honest, he wasnât sure if she had even worn one, but something about her face was different, so it made him believe that she had had one. âWhat are you doing here? I thought you had fun with others.â
She frowned and looked even more frustrated. âWell, I⊠IâŠâ It seemed that she didnât get out any words, and instead, her eyes wandered to the elevator. It took a moment before she asked: âWas she angry with you?â
Shinichi turned a little bit to look at the elevator door which behind Julia had disappeared a moment ago. âYeahâ, he answered simply, and as a habit, he put his hands on his trousersâ pockets.
âI⊠I can explain everything to her.â
Shinichi frowned. âExplain what?â he asked and turned to look at Ran. He didnât follow what she was talking about. âThere is nothing to explain anymore.â
âWe- wellâŠâ Ran seemed to be nervous. âShe was angry because⊠because of me. Right?â
Shinichi shook his head. âNoâ, he said. âShe isnât angry because of you.â
âBut I tried to kiss you.â
Shinichi knew it was late already and he was pretty sure that he had drunk only that one beer that Ran had offered him, but somehow he felt like he was so lost. To be honest, he wasnât even sure what had happened during that âalmost kissâ: He just remembered looking at Ranâs eyes and got some urge to kiss her, and when he had realised what he was doing, he had stopped himself, and then Ran had been gone. So it had been his fault, right? He had tried to kiss her.
Maybe Ran was just trying to take the blame to save him.
âNo. I tried to kiss youâ, he corrected. âAnd she isnât angry because of that, but because we broke up.â
âYou⊠you broke up?â Ran asked, looking even more sad. âBut⊠why?â
But there was still one mystery: âBut why are you here?â he asked finally and dropped his hands to look at Ran, who had followed him with slower steps like she was hesitating to follow him. She stopped in front of that couch, yet she didnât sit. She met his eyes before lowering her gaze to the floor.
âWell, I⊠I was worriedâ, she said finally and glanced at him fast. âYou disappeared so suddenly and I⊠I thought you left, and⊠andâŠâ She stopped. Then she finally looked around and turned to sit down on that same couch, just leaving a little space between them. Then she just stared at her hands which she kept on her lap, looking somehow bothered.
âIâm so sorryâ, she said finally.
âRanâŠâ Shinichi sighed.
âBecause if I hadnât tried to kiss you, you wouldnât have to tell Julia and she wouldnât be madâŠâ
âRan, stop!â
Ran shut her mouth. Shinichi took a deep breath before opening his mouth again. âListen. It didnât happen because of you okay?â he said. âIt happened because of me. Because I broke up with her. Because I didnât want to hurt her more than I have hurt you. Because⊠Because IâŠâ He lowered his eyes, looking at the floor. Well, there goes nothing. âBecause I still love youâ, he said finally. And before he could stop himself, he continued: âMore than anything else.â
âShinichiâŠâ
âSo I did what was rightâ, he said, hoping to stop Ran from saying anything else. He didnât need her pity, he didnât want it. Yet, he opened his hand and looked at the engagement ring. He remembered how he had bought it for her, how he had carried it in his pocket wherever he had gone with her, only waiting for the right moment. And how he had finally kneeled in front of herâŠ
âI really loved her thoughâ, he said finally, closing his hand. âI wonât lie: when I went to America, I just wanted to take some distance from you.â He collected all his courage to meet Ran. âI was so jealous of you when I saw you with someone else and I was so heartbroken from the truth that you looked so happy and free without me. So, I thought that some time with my parents would give me enough space so that when I came back, I wouldnât feel so bad. In the end, for me, the most important thing is that you are feeling fine and safe. And if it is without me, then so be it.â He kept a little pause, looking at his hands again. âBut I got my chance to study there, and I met her⊠And of course, some other people. But I told them about you and our relationship and I really worked hard with it. I wanted to get over you and my feelings because it was the only right thing to do. And I did and then I fell in love with Julia, I genuinely did. But⊠But then I came back to Japan, met you again, andâŠâ He let out a laugh because he felt really, really stupid. He straightened himself only to lean on the couch back and look at the ceiling. âAll this time I had lied to myself, thought I could love someone and give my heart to them, let them be something special for me. But⊠It has always been you.â Then he turned to look at Ran. âAnd probably will always be.â
And he could see how tears glimmered in her eyes. âIâm⊠Iâm so sorry, Shinichi.â
And even though he had known it all this time, it felt like she had broken his heart again. His mother, Sonoko, and even Julia had been wrong. She didnât feel the same. And even though he hadnât had time to build any new plans on that, maybe, deep down, he had hoped that maybe, maybe there would be even a little chance to him, that maybe they could try at least one more timeâŠ
âI met Julia-san just because it seemed to be important to you, but⊠but all I wanted to do was cryâ, Ran admitted. âBecause even though I thought you deserved only the best and all the happiness, I⊠I was so heartbroken because I just⊠just⊠wanted you back. I also knew that the class reunion would be a mistake, but I still wanted to spend even a little more time with you before⊠before you would leave again.â Then she started to cry and covered her face with her hands. âIâm⊠Iâm so sorry Shinichi. About⊠everything.â
Shinichi looked at her crying before straightening himself and gently, wrapped his arms around her, making her lean on him. âItâs okay, Ranâ, he said while pressing his head against hers, closing his eyes and listening to that familiar cry. âIâm so sorry too.â
Hi subbe I just wanted to ask you what's your opinion about coai shipping
Hey there, and thanks for asking â€ïž
So, what do I think about CoAi? Nothing, really. Ai is nice and cute, and I think she should smile more because she has a cute smile! I think I understand why people ship her with Shinichi/Conan: They are in the same boat and they have experienced the same things. But somehow I can only see them as good friends. And I wish to see Ran and Shiho/Ai also getting know to each other better and being friends â€ïž
And the same goes for many other Detective Conan ships which includes Shinichi or Ran. I can see why people ship them, but for me, Shinichi and Ran are meant to be. I canât see Shinichi with Ai/Shiho, not with Kid, not with Amuro or anyone else than with Ran. The same goes with Ran: People can ship her with Sera, Araide, Eisuke, whoever, but I just canât see her with anyone else than with Shinichi.
And just saying, I donât hate any ships. I think that everyone can ship whoever they want together and I respect that, but I also hope that people remember to respect otherâs ships too.
But for me, Shinichi and Ran are meant to be. When I started to watch Detective Conan, I hated Shinichi. I hate characters (and people) who are so self-centered, so full of themselves, and womanizers, and even though the main story interested me and even though during those first 5 minutes Shinichi was so cool while solving that first case, I saw those traits in him in the next minutes and my first thought was: Really? Do I need to watch over 800 episodes where THIS guy is the main character?! I hate him already!
But then we got the scene where Ran tells Shinichi that itâs okay to flirt with girls, but he should at least pick up his favorite. And do you remember his soft gaze when he looked at Ran? Ah, I was so melted, like⊠That boy is so in love with that girl, and part of me hated it because my picture of Shinichi was still a selfish womanizer, and that sweet Ran would deserve so much more, so much better, but goddammit, that lookâŠ
Luckily my opinion of Shinichi has changed đ I love him too â€ïž
And after that, there were so many moments where we saw how much those two care for each other, how much they miss each other, how they can feel when the other one is in trouble, or how far they would go for each other⊠They are soulmates. And even though Shinichi is jealous and does pretty much to stop other boys from flirting with Ran, I remember one of my favorite ShinRan moments (Chapter 337/Episode 270) where Shinichi says to Ai that if he would tell Ran how he feels, she would just miss him more. He is the guy who breaks her heart by making her wait and he doesnât want to see her cry anymore, even if it means he has no longer a place in her heart. I cried and it hurt. Oh, it still does. Because Ran's happiness is so important to him, so important that he is ready to "let her go" if it means that she could be happy, that she wouldn't worry, that she wouldn't cry. Not because of him. And if that doesnât show how much he loves her, then I donât know what. He had said somewhere in the beginning of the manga/anime (actually chapter 71/episode 10) that it hurts him to see Ran cry, and I canât even imagine how it must feel to be the reason why the person who you love most in the world, cries because of you. And he can't do anything about it.
Oh boy, there are so many scenes that I would love to bring up (like in the school trip, that Bloody Ceiling -moment when Ran clung his arm scared and Shinichi just looked at her softly and told her it's okay, that she should pay her respect (or something)), and there are so many good posts on Tumblr about ShinRan that I would love to dig up and link them here because I agreed with them so badly, but maybe I got carried away and in the end, you just asked my opinion about CoAi, so I got a little bit distract đ But I wanted to explain why. And of course, I also know ShinRan is the main pair of the story, so the creator can make them be anything. But I have to say, even though there are long times that nothing happens between them (and I don't like it either), Aoyama knows how to do ShinRan - at least for my liking â€ïž They are a sweet and pure pairing, they complete each other, and they believe in each other... They are just... perfect â€ïž
Haha, well, this became much longer than I thought, but that happens when I talk about ShinRan đ But hey, thanks for asking â€ïž
Sadly, I didnât have time to make any presents for you this year, except for this wish. If it counts, I thought all of you â€ïž But I still want to wish you a Happy Christmas and a peaceful and relaxing holiday! â€ïž
Shinichi has taken part in the class reunion and is having a good time. Until Sonoko wanted to speak with him and suggested that Shinichi still had feelings for Ran. Which is ridiculous! He had got over her and they are friends now. Right?
A/N: Here we are, the next chapter! Iâm so excited about this, and I feel bad for a reason that I canât tell when Iâm ready with the next one x) Iâm going to spend my Christmas with my family, and I donât know if Iâm going to spend my New Year in there or if Iâm coming home to spend it alone, so there is another reason why I canât promise anything. Which is sad, because we are so close to an end and my fingers are aching to write.
But I still hope you guys like this one! â€
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5: Self-examination
âShin-chan? Can I come in?â
Shinichi turned to look at his mother, who peeked from the doorway. He almost wanted to question why she bothered to ask if she had already opened the door, but at the same time, he didnât have time or interest to argue with his mother, so instead he answered: âSureâ, and turned back to look at himself from the mirror. He had dressed in his jeans and white dress shirt and after he was done with his tie, he would add his sweater, just to make sure he would have dressed formally, but at the same time, it would look casual.
Because he had no idea what in the world people dressed in for the class reunion. If guys were the same as always, they probably dressed something casual, but knowing girls, they probably dressed in their best. So this was his compromise: he would look stylish, but also casual. And since Julia had confirmed that, he believed that no one would get a chance to complain. And that someone, he thought about Ran and Sonoko.
And he realised that his mother had stayed silent. And even though it wasnât the first time that he was in the same room with Yukiko in the silence, this felt somehow different. The atmosphere started to get heavier every second like there was something wrong.
âWhat do you have in your mind?â Shinichi asked finally, starting to make his tie.
Even when he didnât look at his mother, he still felt a moment of hesitation. And even if Shinichi claimed to be calm and not let anyone easily get on his nerves, he started to feel uncomfortable. Or maybe more like restless. Part of him wanted to hurry her to talk, but at the same time, he knew that hurrying wasnât always a good idea.
Then, she finally spoke: âAre you sure about this?â
Shinichi frowned at his reflection but didnât stop what he was doing or turn to look at her. âAbout what?â he asked.
âAbout this class reunion.â
Shinichi frowned only more, and after finishing his tie, he turned to look at his mother. He wasnât sure what he had waited for, but seeing Yukiko looking worried, almost like she was holding something very fragile in her hands, worried that she would break it, Shinichi knew that he hadnât waited for that. If someone, Yukiko had been so eager when Shinichi had told about the class reunion, said that he needs to participate in it, want it or not. Well, he knew that probably the biggest reason for her had been the chance to visit Japan after so many years and show it to Julia, but he still couldnât figure out why she looked troubled now. And only an hour before the class reunion would start.
And besides, since he was here and almost ready, he had no reason not to go. Even though he hadnât been so eager to make that trip, he was happy that his family had made him. In the end, he had made so many friends in high school and he wanted to see them and know how they were doing. And even if they were planning to go to the nightclub after eating, it didnât mean Shinichi needed to go too. He would come back to the hotel and enjoy the last evening in Japan with his family.
âYesâ, he answered and turned to take his v-neck sweater that had waited on the bed. âWhy wouldnât I? Itâs not like Iâm staying there the rest of my lifeâ, he continued and put the sweater over him.
âShe is there too, right?â
Shinichi put his head out from the neckline and looked at his mother. âShe?â he repeated and put the sweater better on him. âWho is she?â he asked while turning to look at himself from the mirror, starting to correct his shirt.
âRan-chan.â
Shinichi frowned but continued straightening his shirt. âYeah, she isâ, he answered without hesitation. âIf you donât remember, we were in the same class.â
âDo you think itâs wise to go?â
Shinichi stopped for a moment and glanced through the mirror at his mother. Even though she looked at the wardrobe where he had hung his clothes, looking like she was straightening them or something, Shinichi could still see that she looked worried - almost sad. But why though, that he couldnât figure out. If she implied that he hadnât got over Ran and thatâs why it wouldnât be wise to go, then why she hadnât said anything earlier? It wasnât the first time he would meet Ran, and it wasnât a secret that they had met. Like⊠Wouldnât it be more âdangerousâ to meet her privately in the cafe than in a class reunion, where there are so many other people? Like she even would have time to speak with him alone when there were so many others.
So he turned to look at his reflection again and finished straightening his shirts. âSpeak to me clearlyâ, he said finally and turned to look at his mother. âWhat do you mean?â
It took for a moment before Yukiko shut the doors of the wardrobe and with a hesitation, turned to look at him. She still looked worried, and whatever she wanted to say, seemed to be hard to say. But he waited.
And finally, she opened her mouth.
âYou still love her.â
He couldnât tell really why, but he felt a crack in his heart. Somehow those words got him, but all he showed was a frown.
âWhat?â
âYou still love herâ, his mother repeated. âAnd I believe she still loves youâŠâ
Shinichi let out a laugh. A dry laugh, because this certainly was the stupidest thing that he had heard for a while. âShe doesnâtâ, he said and put his hands in his pockets. âAnd besides, I love Julia. We are engagedâŠâ
âBut it doesnât change how you feel.â
It made Shinichi turn serious. âAnd how can you tell how I feel and for whom?â he asked annoyed. âDo you think I proposed to Julia just for fun?â
âNoâ, her mother answered. âBut I donât think you let go of Ran-chan.â
âI did.â
âI think you just moved it asideâ, Yukiko said. âJust tried to bury it under the study and work⊠Tried to forget, but not really dealt with it.â
Shinichi rolled his eyes and turned back to the mirror. âPeople have different ways to get over things. And it was mineâ, he answered, yet he glanced at his mother through the mirror. âOr would you have liked that I would have locked into my room alone?â
âNo, of course notâ, Yukiko said. âBut even though it was good that you had something to do, Iâm not sure if you really dealt with that breakup and your feelings.â
âWell, I didnât shut up about them eitherâ, Shinichi said and looked at himself. âBesides, I have met Ran three times now and everything is fine. If I hadnât, it would have probably showed up somehow, andâŠâ
âItâs the way you looked at her.â
Shinichi shut his mouth and moved his eyes back to Yukiko through the mirror. She looked more uneasy than a moment ago. âI looked at her the same way I look at anyoneâ, he answered.
Yukiko shook her head. âIâm not sure if you are aware, but you can see how other looks at someone. And believe me when I say, you looked at her a way differently than you look at Julia.â
Shinichi took a deep breath and looked at himself. âMomâŠâ
âAnd she looked at you with so much loveâŠâ
âMomâ, Shinichi interrupted and turned to look at her straight. âWe are childhood friends, remember? We dated sometime, right? We have gone through so much together. Even though we broke up, it doesnât mean we stop care of each other, right?â
Yukiko didnât seem to be convinced by that.
âWe talked about it, and we are fineâ, Shinichi said. âAnd maybe you just overlooked it, okay?â He glanced at the door because he knew that Julia was in the other room. âBesides, I havenât met Ran secretly. Julia knows, and she was fine with it. And I believe if there would have been something, as you said it, âa way Iâm looking at herâ, Julia would have probably noticed it too and said something.â
Even though Yukiko didnât say anything, Shinichi could tell she wasnât convinced. She still looked troubled.
âCome on, Momâ, he continued, hoping to assure her. âWe are just friends. From all the people, I believe you know that me and Ran have known each other from the beginning, and from all the people, you also know what we have gone through together. And I believe that you know too that something like that, you canât just take away and pretend that nothing happened.â He showed her a smile. âSo believe me when I say: Even though I care about her as a friend, Iâm over her. Okay?â
Yukiko closed her eyes and let out a sigh. âI know, I knowâ, his mother said gently before looking at him again and smiling. âIâm just worried about you, Shin-chan.â
Donât be, he had just said to his mother. And that had been the sentence that had stopped the whole conversation.
But even though that conversation had been done and over, he still felt frustrated, because that stupid Sonoko had brought that same thing up. Even though he had tried to move it aside, even though he tried to forget it and concentrate on the others, it always popped back into his mind, bothering him in all possible ways.
Like⊠why?! What did they mean? No, what they were thinking while deciding to bring that up? Did they even know what they were talking about?
âShinichi? Is everything okay?â
Shinichi turned to look at Ran who had just sat beside him with two drinks. When he met her eyes, he almost wanted to burst it all out, because why not? He wanted to tell her how everyone still seemed to think that he and she were still in love with each other. He wanted to tell her how much he hated that his mother and Sonoko were snooping on his life and if that wasnât enough, he had let his classmates drag him to that stupid nightclub where he didnât even want to go! He hated the loud music and how everyone around him was shouting and laughing in a race. So much noise!
Well, he really couldnât blame only his classmates. He had tried to be reasonable and told them that he needed to go, but then those orchid-colored eyes had popped in front of him and asked sadly if he was leaving already.
And he hated to admit it, but he still couldnât say no to her. It had been five years and he still was like that! How did he say no to Julia? He was pretty sure that he had said no to her more than one time, but he had no idea how Ran did it! Somehow those so-called puppy eyes always got him and always made him agree.
But he decided not to say anything. Even though he knew that he could talk to Ran about everything, he didnât want to use this night for it. Besides he was pretty sure that others would interrupt them sooner or later, and he felt a little bit uncomfortable with the thought that others would be listening to their conversation. And last but not least, there was Sonoko: As soon as she sat up on the table, she would catch sooner or later something about their conversation, and Shinichi knew that she wouldnât be too shy to take part in it.
Like he needed that anyway.
âEverything is fineâ, he answered and glanced around. âEnjoying the best time of my life and allâŠâ
Ran let out a laugh. âIâm sorry, I know you donât like these kind of places, but⊠Iâm still grateful that you came.â
Shinichi didnât answer. Instead, he looked at the table and those two drinks in front of her. âAre you that hurry to get yourself drunk that you bought two drinks at once?â he asked.
Ran shook her head. âNoâ, she answered with a smile. âJust because you came, I decided to offer you a beer.â She pushed the other glass closer to him and smiled when he met her eyes. âAnd before you say anything, I know you donât care much about alcohol, but take even one.â
Shinichi rolled his eyes but took it. âThanksâ, he said and showed her a smile anyway. He had never been into alcohol. He hadnât been interested, but another reason had been that he had seen how much worry Ranâs father had made for Ran because of drinking, so he had thought that he wouldnât do that. And then he had found out in university years that Ran herself was very much into alcohol, which had pretty often ended up with him looking after her.
He hadnât minded it though.
Finally, everyone got their drinks and they toasted. Shinichi grimaced a little bit while tasting the beer, but forgot it as soon as others started to laugh and talk about everything else. It seemed that someone had also ordered some snacks which made others move again and go to order themselves too.
But even though they got back to the conversation all around the tables, Shinichi found it hard to relax anymore. Even though he tried to get into a conversation that was going on on his left side, it seemed so hard to concentrate on it. He wanted to blame the loud music and all, but the truth was that it was Sonoko who was to blame. Even though it had been some time since that conversation with her, Shinichi just couldnât get it out of his mind.
And time to time he just listened to what Ran was talking about with others on his right side. He stoled glimpses of her, trying to see even for one mark that she would still love him, even a little hint that she would be bothered about his fiancee or something else, but instead, she looked genuinely happy. Like there was nothing that bothered her.
Shinichi had a hard time believing anything that his mother or Sonoko had said. Even when he tried, he didnât see anything in Ranâs behavior that would tell that she still loved him. She had got over him, period.
And the same goes with him. He really couldnât understand why his mother had implied that he hadnât dealt with his breakup with Ran. He had. God how much he had fought with all his feelings back then. Yeah, he had kept himself busy later, but like he hadnât given any thought to his broken heart. Like he hadnât talked about it with some of his new friends that he had made. Like he would have started to date Julia if he hadnât meant it.
And yet, again, those thoughts made him only more frustrated. Those things didnât matter anymore. So why he just couldnât move them aside and forget? Why he was so stuck with those thoughts? His mother and Sonoko had been wrong, imagining the whole thing.
And he started to feel tired of this. The whole thing. While glancing at his old classmates who seemed to have so much fun together, Shinichi started to be sure that for his part, the evening was over. He had seen and heard how others were doing, they had seen him, and they could have fun without him. And if there would be something, they could always be in touch and ask. He didnât believe that they were missing him too long after he was gone.
Yeah. That sounded like a plan. Even though the thought made him a little bit sad, it was something he wanted to do right now. Go back to the hotel.
âShinichi?â
And at that same moment, he felt how someone wrapped their arms around his, squeezing it tightly. And he knew only one person who would do that. So he turned and saw how Ran leaned on him, smiling sweetly, those orchid-colored eyes glimmering while looking at him sweetly, innocently. And a little bit drunk. Oh, how many times he had seen her looking at him like this?
And even after these years, she still looked beautiful.
âCome dance with me, please?â
And that question was something that kind of dropped him back to reality.
âYou know, Ran, even if it had been five years, there are still things that havenât changedâ, he said and smiled. âAnd one of them is that I donât dance.â Then he looked towards the dancefloor where some people were already dancing - or at least it was something like that. âWell, not dances like thatâ, he corrected. There had been times that he had tried for Ranâs sake, but he had embarrassed himself. He had learned his lessons.
âOh, come ooon, Shinichiâ, Ran pleaded, just tightening her grip around his arm, almost making him swear. God, he had forgotten how thigh her grips could be. âCome on, I wanna dance! And I donât know anyone else who would like to dance with me.â
He wanted to argue about that because the truth was that nightclubs were places where you could dance even alone. You didnât need a partner to go there and swing around with random people. But another fact was, he didnât feel good to let Ran go alone. There were all kinds of people and he didnât like the idea that Ran would dance alone with random people - especially when she was drunk. But when he glanced at their tables, his old classmates, he realised that men werenât the option. They just laughed and were drunk enough that he was pretty sure that they wouldnât remember to look after Ran. Besides, he was also sure that none of them were worth Ranâs attention, not like that.
Sonoko and other women were always better options and those that Shinichi would trust. But when he glanced at them, they seemed to be in their conversation. But they would probably agree, right? Everyone loved Ran, and since he was sure that most of the women liked to dance, they would go in the group.
âYou should ask other girlsâ, he said finally and turned to look at Ran. âThey would probably like to join you.â
âThey had an important conversationâ, Ran answered. âI donât want to disturb them.â
Shinichi smiled. âWell, I believe that it isnât that important that they couldnât continue it later.â
Then Ran turned her head down and leaned it against his shoulder.
âYou leave tomorrow.â
He wasnât sure if he was meant to hear it. In the end, she hadnât said it too loud, but even over that loud music and others speaking, he had heard those words.
It was true. Tomorrow he would leave Japan again, going back to America. And even though he had waited for that, he felt somehow sad. Knowing that he had caught up with Ran and cleared the air between them, it felt sad to leave her behind, out of his life again. Of course, they could always call or send messages, and visits werenât out of the question. They wouldnât be cheap, but it didnât mean that they would meet never again. But somehow he realised that after these five years, after knowing that everything between them was fine, he missed having her in his everyday life. They had been childhood friends, best friends, who had spent time together and talked about everything or just been together without words. He wanted back those times when Ran had just come behind his door, he missed those times when she had just ragged him somewhere with her. He wanted to tease her again, argue over some stupid things, and sometimes get angry with her, because she had been just wrong but couldnât admit it, or because she had made him worried, done something reckless. He just⊠HeâŠ
Even though he had Julia and loved her, with Ran things just were different. And even though he went places with Julia and talked with her, it didnât feel the same. He didnât say that he didnât enjoy his time with Julia, he did, but there were things that he had with Ran. Things had been always so easy and relaxed between them, but at the same time, both of their natures had spiced it.
He missed her. He already did. Part of him just wanted to take her to America so he could still spend time with her, introduce her to everyone, and she and Julia would get to know each other better, and she could take part in their wedding plans and wedding⊠But the truth was that her life was in Tokyo, and even if he would like to have her in his life, it didnât mean that she would like the idea. Ranâs parents and most of her friends would still live in Tokyo. She would miss them.
Well, that's how life was. Sometimes you have to leave behind something to gain something else. And like said, it wasnât like he wouldnât hear about Ran ever again. If they just would invest in it, they would be in touch.
Of course, it wouldnât be the same as meeting face to face.
âUgh, fineâ, Shinichi let out finally and already regretted it, but at least Ran straightened herself and looked at him with that big smile. âFineâ, he repeated. âOne dance, okay?â
âTwo, please?â Ran asked innocently. âBecause this song has already started.â
Shinichi rolled his eyes. âFineâ, he promised. Ran let out a shriek and grabbed his hand while standing up and started to lead their way on the dancefloor as soon as Shinichi got himself up. It was a little bit of adventure to get to the dancefloor since there were so many people along the way, but after some zigzagging and some apologizing, they got there. Only then Ran let go of his hand, turning to him and starting to dance to the rhythm of the music. Shinichi just stood there and looked around, still a little bit against this. Everyone else seemed to have fun while dancing, but Shinichi couldnât get himself to move.
Really, this was stupid.
âCome on, Shinichi, thatâs not dancingâ, he heard Ran giggling. Shinichi turned to look at her.
âIsnât it enough that you dance?â Shinichi asked. Even though part of him knew that he should just start to move, part of him was against it. He knew exactly how this was going: As soon as he would start to move, Ran would start to laugh. He had seen this scene to play too many times.
âNoâ, Ran answered, still dancing. âI want you to dance with me.â
Shinichi shook his head and wondered how in the world he had again given Ran what she wanted. Why he hadnât just taken her outside and told her that they could go somewhere to talk instead of dancing? âYou have seen me dancing too many times alreadyâ, he answered. âAnd you know exactly how this is going to end.â
He observed how she looked at him for a moment. Then she came closer and before he knew it, she took his and and put another one on his shoulder.
âI rememberâ, she said gently. âBut I still want to dance with you.â
Shinichi let out a sigh. This music wasnât anything that he would use in ballroom dances which he was good at. He knew that Ran was doing this only to make him dance too, but all he could think was how foolish it would lookâŠ
âI promise, I wonât laugh.â
Shinichi rolled his eyes and Ran laughed.
âFineâ, he hissed finally. âFine.â
He put his hand on Ranâs lower back. Ran started to swing again, and even though Shinichi still wanted to hesitate, he couldnât do anything else than follow her movements.
He felt stupid, he really did. He felt so uncomfortable. He regretted it and all he hoped was that those two songs would be already over so he could go back to the hotel.
But then he started to forget his bad mood. Somehow Ranâs movements started to be his, and when he looked at how happy Ran looked in his arms, looking at him, Shinichi started to feel a little bit relaxed. Somehow that happy face made everything feel worth it - even though he would embarrass himself. But even if he did, tomorrow he would fly back to America, and if someone made fun of him, he wouldnât know about it.
Besides, Ran had seen the worst of him. If she would be ashamed of him, she wouldnât have asked him to dance.
So he started to take the lead - at least with those dance skills that he had. Those two songs came and were over, but Shinichi wasnât counting them anymore. He just smiled even though Ran was laughing - probably for him, but somehow he couldnât mind. At least they looked both stupid and⊠well, it was worth it to get that laugh. And finally, he started to laugh with her.
Even though he had remembered those good times in their relationship too, he had to admit that somehow the time after the Black Organisation and before their breakup had made him forget how perfect everything had felt with Ran.
Even though he had remembered how her touch had felt, he hadnât remembered it feeling so gently, so smooth against his skin. Even though he had remembered how their hands had fit together, how their bodies had been like a pieces of puzzle which fit perfectly together, he had forgotten how right and relaxed it had felt to feel her close to him. Even though he had remembered how their movements had always seemed to be synchronized to each other, somehow he had forgotten how smoothly they seemed to work together, how easily they read each other and did just as the other one hoped for - without words.
And even though he had remembered how beautiful her smile had been, somehow, it felt like it was only more beautiful when he looked at it now, and even though he had remembered once falling in love with that smile, seeing it now, made his heart race like mad. He wondered, while looking at that smile if those red lips were still as soft as back then.
And when he looked back to those orchid-colored eyes, he remembered all the emotions they had held and shown during those years. He had observed and learned them all, but somehow he hadnât remembered how bright and exquisite they were. Those beautiful, glimmering eyes which mood changed into something else. To one of those moods that Shinichi had found and hoped to be only shown to him. She didnât break that eye contact, not even though her smile melted away, not even when she came closer, reaching himâŠÂ
And he knew exactly what she wanted. He knew exactly what those eyes meant, what those movements meant. And without thinking, he slowly went closer to her, closing his eyes, ready to feel her lipsâŠ
Hi there! Just letting you know I wrote another ShinRan fic. 'Swimming with Sharks'. I just put it on my blog. Enjoy! Let me know what you think!
Hello! Sorry for making you wait, but I finally had time to read it, and I think it was cute and funny ShinRan fic with Sonoko's help ;) I enjoyed it, so thank you for sharing â€ïž
Just in case someone has missed it and is interested to check it out, here is this fic:
Hello all! I'm back with another DCMK fic. As the title implies, Shinichi and Ran going on a date, swimming with sharks at Beika aquarium.
Shinichi and Ran met each other and cleared the air between them. Everything is fine. Or is it?
A/N: Hello! Here we have another chapter and didnât take as long as the last one! :âD Well, to be honest, I planned to publish this a week ago, but sadly I got sick and didnât have the energy to work with this. And itâs sad because this week had been so busy with everything else, but since I wanted so badly to publish this, I decided to find time to finish this! And Iâm so excited! Every time I reread this chapter, I get so excited to continue this! I am also so happy that I got the last week of this semester on next week, so after that, I start my holiday and hopefully have more time to write this ^^ Iâm so excited to get my hands on the next chapter!
But before we get the next chapter done, I hope you enjoy this one :3
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4: "Are you sure?"
Ran looked at that American woman whom Shinichi had asked her to meet. She listened to how this woman told her in English how she and Shinichi had met - the same story that Shinichi had told her, but a longer version. It has more descriptions and more details. It was a version that Ran wasnât sure if she really wanted to hear about. Julia smiled all the time and talked about him with so much enthusiasm. She didnât even hide how much Shinichi had told her about Ran and even told her how Shinichi had told about their breakup and how it had broken his heartâŠ
It made her feel bad. It really did. She almost wanted to stand up and go to the table where Shinichi sat, reading something and sipping his coffee. He had come with them, just in case there was going to be some kind of language barrier between them, but told them that he was going to take another table and just be there by himself. But Ran just wanted to stand up, go to him, and apologize - again. She hadnât done very well with their breakup. She had always claimed to be there for him, and yet she realised now how she had just thrown him away, forgotten him until he had disappeared.
And Ran wanted to hate Julia. She wanted to hate how happy she looked, how she told her everything about them and their relationship and asked questions about Ran and her relationship with Shinichi. Julia didnât even seem to think that maybe Ran wouldnât want to share with her. And some kind of monster part of her has woken up in her. Like she wanted to share things that only she knew about Shinichi. Those were only hers to know, and if Shinichi hadnât revealed them to Julia, she didnât see any reason why she should share them!
But Ran knew she was just being selfish. What in the world she would do with that knowledge anymore? And another thing was, she really couldnât hate Julia. She seemed to be nice and kind, straightforward and eager. Curious. And she talked about Shinichi so highly.
âShinichi is so awesome, right?â Julia asked. âHe is reliable and righteous and so brave! But he is also nice and kind and romantic. He is someone who you can always lean on and who makes you feel safe.â
Like she needed to tell those things to Ran. She knew it. God, she wanted to say that she knew better than anyone else! But still, she just smiled and told her that she was right. In the end, Shinichi deserved only the best, and Julia seemed to be one who genuinely liked him - loved him.
And it felt terrible to admit it. Ran wondered if she should have declined that offer when Shinichi had asked her to meet Julia. She was doubting if she really wanted to meet her, just because she felt heartbroken and wasnât sure if she was ready, but at the same time, she hadnât had the heart to decline it.
But now she was sure that she hadnât been ready for this.
âI love himâ, Julia said with the happiest smile on her face. âI love him so, so much! I love him more than anything!â
âRan?â
Ran shook her head and turned to look at Sonoko, who smiled at her. âLetâs go, the game is going to start soon!â
Ran needed a moment to look around to get herself back to this moment and remind herself that she wasnât in that cafe anymore. Instead, she saw familiar faces from her high school years, smiling and talking and ready to move inside. Everyone seemed to be so excited about the laser tag that they were planning to play before going to a restaurant. And that excitement started to catch Ran too.
âYeah, letâs goâ, she answered. She followed Sonoko and almost promised herself just to enjoy tonight, but then she saw a glimpse of Shinichi, who was talking and laughing with others. And somehow something heavy dropped on her heart. She looked at that smile that had always made her heart race in her chest and butterflies fly in her stomach, and she remembered Julia, how happy she had looked yesterday when they had met. When she had told Ran how much she loved ShinichiâŠ
âI love him so, so much! I love him more than anything!â
She knew she shouldnât have been bothered by those words. She knew she should move on, just be happy for him, for them. But at the same time, she also remembered those times when Shinichi had told her that he loved her. He had always said he loved her more than anything. He never repeated those words too often, which was the reason that it sounded so special when he had said them.
She wondered if he had said those same words to Julia too. And if something, that made her heart ache.
But it was her own fault. She had let him go. And it was only right that he had moved on. And⊠she was happy about it.
She still remembered the moment before they had parted away yesterday. All that time, Ran had wanted to tell Julia to take good care of Shinichi, because he was still so special and important to her, but at the same time, she hadnât got those words out of her mouth. She knew that part of her had been scared to let go of him. She knew she should, but⊠butâŠ
âYeah, we would haveâ, Aizawa continued, and Shinichi saw how he angrily glanced at him. âIf someone wouldnât have been so weak and given that win for Mouri-san.â
Shinichi put a dry smile on his lips. âSpeaks the one who dropped out the first.â
Aizawa grimaced. âCome on, you could have won! It was just you and Mouri-san, you could have won!â
âWell, canât help itâ, Hidaka interrupted. âRan-san just is better than Kudo-kunâŠâ
âHah! He lost only because it was Mouri!â
âNow now, you twoâŠâ
âHey, donât listen to himâ, Shinichi heard Nakamichi say. He felt a hand on his shoulder. âHe is just a bad loser.â
âI donât careâ, Shinichi answered and looked at his old friend with a grin. âIt was fun.â
Women versus men were their teams. It had been the fastest way to make teams and start the game.
To be honest, he hadnât been a big fan of the idea of laser tag. Like⊠could there be anything more childish? But he couldnât lie, as soon as he had seen how excited others had been, he had decided to go along - and finally got excited too and given his all.
He did. He really did. When other boys from his team had dropped out one by one, he had fought his way and took out girls as much as possible.
Until it had been he against Ran. How they had stared at each for a moment, realising that it was only two of them. And that grin⊠God, somehow Shinichi had remembered how much they had hated to lose each other. He had met an opponent who wasnât easy to take down.
That fight had been very enjoyable. Ran didnât go easy on him, and he had done everything to win her. He had needed all his skills and senses awake, concentrating only on what Ran had done.
But he had lost. Sadly. But he wasnât mad about it. It seemed to irritate some of his team members because they believed that he had let Ran have that one, but why in the world he would have done that? Ran was a pretty capable woman and she would have destroyed him if he would go easy on her.
But they didnât know her like he did.
And Shinichi admitted it, Ran had been on edge. There was a moment when Shinichi had thought that he had her, but sadly, he hadnât been careful enough. One little mistake and Ran had taken him down.
âOkay, letâs forget it alreadyâ, someone shouted, taking Shinichi out of his thoughts. âLetâs go to eat!â
They were reserved a few tables for themselves. From the start, they were sharing what was going on in their lives, what they were doing, and if they still lived in Tokyo. Some of them were married and some even had family already. And some were still single. Shinichi was pretty surprised to see that no one asked anything about him and Ran or what happened to their relationship. When he mentioned that he was engaged to Julia, everyone seemed to be silent before congratulating him. Well, it wasnât like he minded it because part of him didnât like to get too much attention on himself, but truthfully their congratulations had been a little bit silent.
But at the same time, Shinichi wondered if they had been just in shock. In the end, everyone believed in him and Ran being together forever. And he didnât blame anyone, because he had believed in that too.
But things had changed and he was just happy that no one didnât snooped anything else. They didnât ask what happened to them, and they asked only a little about Julia. Just who she was and how they met.
Of course, after Ran had told them that she was single right now and concentrating on her career, Iwata opened his mouth and asked if she would like to go on a date with him. Which wasnât a surprise, because Ran was still a beautiful and kind woman, who would get anyone she ever liked to. But like people needed to try to hit her like that? Shinichi almost wanted to go and hit that idiot and teach him some manners, but Ran was faster and refused, saying that he wasnât the man that she was looking for. Others laughed at him, and Shinichi felt happy. He couldnât believe that Iwata had thought Ran to be easy prey, and he was happy to know that Ran wasnât falling for a man like him. Of course, he wasnât sure how much Iwata had changed during these years but Ran deserved so much better.
But after those so-called formalities, they started to reminisce and talk about everything else. And somehow, pretty fast, it started to feel like they were high schoolers again. Everything turned out to be relaxing and they were joking and laughing at the same things as back then. Shinichi found himself to enjoy about it. Even though he had always been conscientious and enjoyed doing detective work even in high school, he had missed his old classmates and that relaxing atmosphere with them. How playful they could be back then and how much fun they had had.
The food was served and eaten, and they decided to stay for longer, to wait an hour before the nightclub would open and they could start their party. Someone told them that they had a table reserved in the nightclub too, which sounded nice, but Shinichi was still pretty sure that when they left the restaurant, he would go back to the hotel. It wasnât like he wouldnât like to spend more time with others, and it wasnât like he didnât drink any alcohol, but he just didnât care about the idea of being in the loud place where everyone was drinking until they were doneâŠ
He just liked to spend time with others, drink a drink or two, and just talk. But he believed that the time in the restaurant would be enough for him.
âHey, Kudo-kun?â
Shinichi ripped himself away from one of those conversations that was going on and looked over his shoulder. He was a little bit surprised to see Sonoko there, looking at him.
âWhatâs up?â he asked. He started to feel a little nervous because he hadnât talked with Sonoko after the breakup. Part of him liked how easily she seemed to approach him, but it was Sonoko, and he was pretty sure that anything could come out of her mouth.
âCan we talk a little bit?â she asked.
Shinichi looked at those bluish eyes for a moment, trying to find any hint of what she wanted from him. But all he could see was her seriousness, which kind of told him that it could be anything. Not really helping. But if it was something serious, he felt like there wasnât a chance to decline. So he shrugged as an answer and stood up.
No one questioned where they were going, so Shinichi just followed Sonoko to another part of the restaurant, a little further from the others. And it only made Shinichi feel restless, even though he tried to ignore it. What in the world did Sonoko want to talk about if she needed to take him this far from others? If she just wanted to fish for information about Julia, she could have done it in front of others. He had already told everyone about his fiancee, so it wouldnât be a secret anymore. The same goes if she just wanted to hear how he was doing.
So he was sure that the reason for the distance was because she wanted to talk about the breakup. He started to be pretty sure that she was going to blame him for the breakup and his leaving without saying anything. Which would be stupid, because she would have had her chance and it was five years ago. It was a little bit late for that, and besides, since it was Ranâs decision and she got over him, he didnât know why Sonoko would blame him.
But it was surprisingly nervous just to follow her, without knowing what she wanted to talk about. And even though he was over Ran, he wasnât in the mood to go through that case all over again. He had done his share already, wasnât it time to let it go once and for all?
Finally, Sonoko stopped and turned to look at him. Shinichi stopped in front of her and put his hands in his pockets, waiting. It was surprising how Sonoko hadnât seemed to change at all over five years. Well, maybe she looked a little more mature and used more makeup, but still, she seemed to be the same one as back then.
She opened her mouth, then shut it. Then she took a deep breath and tried again, but let out a sigh. She looked frustrated.
âItâs been five years and you donât have anything nice to say to me?â Shinichi asked and smiled. âIâm happy that some things never change.â
Sonoko glared at him for a moment. âKind of wish you would have stayed where you wereâ, she said. Shinichi let out a laugh. If someone else had said that to him, he would have maybe felt a little bit bad, but since it was SonokoâŠ
âWell, now I am more than happy that I made that tripâ, he said. âThis made it worth it.â
âIâm happy to hear thatâ, she said before straightening herself. âOkay, Iâll go straight to the point, okay?â
âFine by meâ, Shinichi answered.
Sonoko closed her eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. Then she met his eyes. âAre you sure about your marriage?â
Well, that⊠he hadnât waited. Yet, he kept his eyes on Sonokoâs. âI amâ, he answered.
âHundred percent sure?â
âTwo hundred percent sureâ, he answered.
Sonoko narrowed her eyes. âLike if you could marry anyone you ever want, she would be the one -sure?â
Shinichi let out a sigh and looked away. âYou know, if you want to marry me, you could just ask, and I would answer noâ, he said and looked at her again. âIâm sure I want to marry Julia, okay?â
âAs sure as you were with Ran?â
Shinichi stared at Sonoko, who stared at him back. Why in the world she was worried about his marriage? It wasnât a surprise that he couldnât follow Sonokoâs thoughts, because to be honest, Sonoko had always been the kind of girl who didnât act most of the time like Shinichi would predict. Even though Shinichi had known Sonoko as long as Ran, even though he knew Ran and could predict most of her actions or words, Sonoko was totally another thing. She always seemed to surprise Shinichi with her decisions, and they werenât always good ones.
But this time he couldnât even guess what she was after. Not at all.
âListenâ, he started finally. âI loved Ran, I really did, and of course, I thought that we would fix our problems and I would ask her to marry me and we would have got family together. But like you know, things didnât work out. Things changedâ, Shinichi said. âAnd we moved onâŠâ
âFirst of all, she didnâtâ, Sonoko interrupted.
âShe didâ, Shinichi objected. âShe was the one who was happy and free after our breakup. She was the one who jumped to other relationships like I didnât matter anymore.â He let out a sigh, trying to keep those memories away. âAnd I donât say she did anything wrong, okay? She had thought about it, and she knew she wanted someone else. And Iâm happy that she moved on.â
âBut she is still singleâ, Sonoko said.
Shinichi shrugged. âAnd what could I do for it?â
âShe is single because she hasnât found anyone like youâ, Sonoko explained, though, for Shinichi, it didnât mean anything. âWe both know that she could get anyone she ever wanted to. And I believe that the reason why she hasnât found the one is because she still loves you and wants to be with you.â
He doubted it. âHas she said that herself?â Shinichi still asked.
Sonoko frowned. âNo, of course notâ, she answered. âBut itâs clear.â
âItâs your speculationâ, he said. âWho knows, maybe she just hasnât found anyone who she would likeâŠâ
âYeah, because she is searching for someone who is like you.â
Shinichi let out a laugh. âNonsense.â
âBesidesâ, Sonoko continued, totally ignoring him. âThe day, after you two met first time after five years, we met after that.â
He just stared at Sonoko, and he wasnât sure what to feel. Well, he was sure that what Sonoko said, would explain some things. The day they met first time after five years, he remembered how Ranâs behavior had changed when Julia tried to introduce herself. The day they met in the cafe, he remembered how Ranâs mood had gone down a little bit when he mentioned that Julia wanted to meet her. And the day she and Julia had met, he remembered how Ran had seemed to be a little bit offâŠ
But⊠It couldnât be, right?
âDid she say so?â Shinichi asked again. Even though he knew the answer.
Sonoko let out a laugh. âOf course not, you know herâ, she answered.
âSo again, this is another your speculationâ, Shinichi said, feeling a little bit frustrated. âListenâŠâ
âBut you also know that she is a terrible liarâ, Sonoko interrupted again. âCome on, if you would have been there, you could have read the same from her face and behavior! It clearly bothered her, and even though she didnât admit it, it showed that she still loves you and was so disappointed that you have someone else who you are going to marry.â
Shinichi still kept his eyes on Sonokoâs determined eyes, trying to find any kind of clue why Sonoko was doing this, what she was after⊠Maybe a hint of a lie or⊠or⊠something. But she seemed to be sure and spoke the truth.
And it was true that Ran wasnât a very good liar, but he still wondered⊠Could she still really love him? He wanted to believe that Ran would have said something, but at the same time, he had known Ran for years, and he also knew that Ran always thought otherâs best. Part of him believed that if Ran really had feelings for him, she wouldnât say anything, because he loved someone else.
Which was a little bit troubling, butâŠ
But wouldnât he have seen it himself if Ran would have had some feelings for him? Of course, there had been moments where he had seen that something had been wrong with her, but those had been only a few moments. Moments that had been gone, and he had been sure that he had just imagined them. That he was just thinking too much, or⊠or something.
Ran wouldnât love him anymore. She made that decision and was sure about that. Nothing would change my mind, she had told him. So where in the world she would have got those feelings back? If she had still loved him, would she have moved on so easily?
But maybe it was Sonoko who hadnât gotten over them. Sonoko had always been there for them, so maybe their breakup had been more shock to her than to them. And now that Shinichi was back in Tokyo and all, maybe Sonoko had seen some kind of chance and decided to fix things and get them back together like before.
Knowing Sonoko, that wouldnât surprise him. But things didnât work like that. She needed to understand that things were different now and even when she meant well, she needed to let go of them.
âYou are imagining things, Sonokoâ, Shinichi said finally and let out a sigh. âI know you supported us and Iâm still grateful, but you know, things changed. And Iâm the one who to blame.â He shrugged, trying to move his memories from the past away. This wasnât the right time to go through them. âBesides, she was the one who started to date others. Believe me when I say: She moved on, okay?â
Sonoko inhaled, and Shinichi knew that it wasnât a mark to give up. He opened his mouth to interrupt her before she could say anything else, but he wasnât fast enough.
âAnd second, you didnât move on either.â
Shinichi shut his mouth and surprised, stared at Sonoko. She looked at him so determined, so sure⊠âWhat are you talking about?â he asked finally and let out a laugh. âI did. Iâm over her.â
âNo, you donât.â
âI am.â
âYou still love her.â
Shinichi wanted to laugh it off and tell her that she was joking, but somehow he felt irritated and angry. For many reasons, on many levels.
âSoâ, he said finally. âYou believed that Iâm faking my love for Julia and going to marry her just for fun?â And even the thought made him boil. He couldnât believe how Sonoko, from all the people he had known, dared even suggest something like that.
âI donât say that you wouldnât love this Julia-sanâ, Sonoko said, looking a little bit softer. âAnd to be honest, I donât even know anything about you and her, but⊠Come on, if you really love her that much, why you havenât talked anything about her? Tell anything more than how you met and how you are going to marry her?â
âWhat else there is to tell?â Shinichi asked frustrated. âNo one has asked anything, and I donât feel like I need to force anyone to listen about my life.â
âBut anyone else seemed to be so excited about their own marriage.â
Yeah, Shinichi didnât deny it, but⊠âI havenât met these people in many yearsâ, he claimed. âI donât expect anyone to be interested anymore in what I am doing or whereâŠâ
Sonoko shook her head. âThat doesnât explain anything.â
And I donât even wait for you to understand, Shinichi wanted to say. He had seen how silent everyone was when he told about his marriage. And he didnât blame them, because their classmates had believed that he would end up with Ran. And he didnât want to make a show about it. It was okay and he just wanted to have fun with others like in the old days, not to answer questions about what happened to him and Ran or that people would ask too much about it from Ran. Of course, he wasnât sure if they had asked about it when he hadnât been around, but no one had brought it up with him, so he wanted to believe that others understood that something had happened and thatâs it.
Of course, he wouldnât mind telling others what happened, but he preferred to have fun, instead of remembering something that hurt and made him feel sad, regret some thingsâŠ
Sonoko hummed and looked like she wasnât impressed. âFine thenâ, she said. âThen explain to me why are you still looking after Ran?â
Shinichi just stared at her. Has he? He hadnât, and he was sure of it. He hadnât done anything special towards Ran. Yes, when they met first time, they had hugged. But he didnât think it to be anything weird: They were still childhood friends, they had gone through so much. After five years, it was only natural, right? Yes, he bought Ran a piece of cake, but there wasnât any meaning behind it. He had just wanted to be nice and offer something to her because she still was too polite to take anything. And there wasnât anything special to introduce Julia and Ran to each other. They had wanted it.
There was nothing.
âIâm not looking after herâ, Shinichi denied. âI havenât done anything like that to her. Not today, not days before.â
âYou stared at her.â
âI donâtâ, Shinichi said.
âYou doâ, Sonoko insisted. âHah, and donât try to deny it! I have seen how every time you look around, you just stop to stare at Ran!â
But he hadnât! He has just looked around like anyone else has probably done too! Yeah, he knew he had looked at Ran, how she had smiled and laughed with others, but he was pretty sure that he hadnât stared at her any longer than anyone else.
âI have looked at others tooâ, Shinichi denied again. âNow you are just imagining things.â
âAnd why did you get so angry when Iwata-kun asked her out?â
âI wasnât angryâ, he said. âRan just deserved so much better and we both probably agree with that.â
Sonoko nodded. âWell, true thatâ, she admitted before her face changed determined again. âBut you looked so angryâŠâ
âI didnâtâ, Shinichi interrupted.
âAnd I saw how your hands clenched.â
âThat doesnât mean anything.â
âBut it bothers you, more than you thinkâ, she continued.
âIt doesnâtâ, he hissed. He started to get enough of this.
Sonoko sighed. âCome on, Kudo! If you only would see how you look at herâŠâ
âIâm not!â
And Shinichi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Yeah, he had shouted that, much louder than he had thought, but Sonoko was breaking limits. He didnât remember that Sonoko would have ever succeeded in getting on his nerves like that. But now? She was gone too far, even for him.
âOkay, listenâ, he continued when he felt a little bit calmer and opened his eyes to meet hers. âI know you mean well, I really do, but believe me when I say: Ran made her mind long ago. I got over her, and found Julia and fell in love with herâ, he said. âSo please, donât interrupt with things that you donât know.â
âAnd believe me, Iâm not trying to break or destroy anything, okayâ, Sonoko said more gently. âI have always wanted the best for both of you. And if you are happy with Julia-san, then I can live with that. But I donât want you to do anything that you would regret later.â
âSonokoâŠâ
âIf you would only see how you look at her, you would understandâŠâ
âHey, what's up you two?â
Shinichi felt how something tightened in his heart, but he didnât move his eyes from Sonoko. It was like she tried to tell him with that one more glance to think about it until she moved her eyes away. Only then did he glance at Ran, who had come closer with her kind smile.
And suddenly he just had the urge to leave. Just⊠go back to the hotel, sleep, and tomorrow, fly back to America, and continue with his life like before, far from all these people.
âNothingâ, Sonoko answered and offered him a smile before turning back to Ran. âJust wanted to hear myself how our detective geek is doing.â
Ran let out a laugh. âWell, itâs been so long since we have been together like thisâ, she said. âJust three of us.â
Shinichi turned his head away and closed his eyes for a moment. He felt somehow so angry and frustrated and⊠and⊠to be honest, he felt like all his emotions were running so wild. Why in the world did others need to intervene in his life, his decision? Like he didnât know what he wanted or how he felt? Why everyone needed toâŠ
âShinichi, are you okay?â
Shinichi felt how something touched his arm. Fast he glanced at Ran who looked at him worriedly.
Fine. Thatâs what he needed with all the other things.
âEverything is okayâ, he answered even when he felt like anyone could have heard how it wasnât more than a big lie. âJust didnât remember how tiring it is to spend time with herâ, he continued and nodded toward Sonoko.
âJust saying, you are more dryer companion than anyone else in this roomâ, Sonoko answered. âAnd most stubborn too, probably.â
Shinichi showed her a toxic glance before turning and going back with the others. He really needed something else to think about right now.
After five years, Shinichi came back to Japan to participate in a class reunion. Sooner than he expected, he met Ran, his childhood friend, and ex-girlfriend, but what he didn't expect, was that she wanted to meet him before the class reunion and talk about something. He agrees, but he has no idea what in the world she would like to talk about...
A/N: Hello! How are you guys? I hope you have been well â€
Well, finally, there is chapter 3 for this fic! I hope you like this â€
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3: Conversation
âAre you going to meet this Ran today?â
Shinichi turned to look at his fiancee. She brushed her hair, and through the mirror, he saw her smiling at her reflection. The smile wasnât forced or faked and it didnât show any kind of jealousy or hurtfulness. It was genuine, as she was in a good mood.
He opened his mouth to answer but shut it. He couldnât tell why, but somehow he felt like he was betraying her if he would say yes. It wasnât anything else than just a meeting with his childhood friend whom he hadnât seen in five years.
A meeting with his ex-girlfriend.
But it didnât seem to bother Julia. And it shouldnât bother him either, because, in the end, there wouldnât be anything that Julia didnât know already. He had told her about Ran a long time ago. He had told her the whole Conan mess and how he had lost the love of his life because of that. And Julia had listened, been there for him. And even after they started to date, Julia never seemed to be jealous if Ran was mentioned. If something, she had been curious, and like yesterday, after Shinichi had told her that he would meet Ran, Julia seemed to be happy about it.
Well, to be honest, Julia barely ever got jealous. Some of his friends from school were women, let alone his clients, but she had never shown jealousy about it or asked anything. Instead, she had wanted to hear details of cases or make some article about him and the case for the newspapers.
And like Julia had any reason to be jealous. Shinichi was over his past, over Ran. He loved Julia very much and wanted to share his life with her. There was no reason to question it.
But maybe he was worried just because Ran was still his childhood friend and ex-girlfriend. Somehow she felt like a different case than any other woman. Even though there was no reason for it.
âYesâ, he answered finally and turned to look at his phone. He should be going soon, and somehow he started to feel nervous. He couldnât understand why though. It was just Ran. And it didnât seem like they were on bad terms. If they were, why she would have reached him?
âCan I come too?â
Shinichi let out a laugh and turned to look at her. âAre you jealous?â
âOf you?â Julia asked and turned to look at him with a mischievous smile. âIs there a reason for that?â
âWell, why otherwise would you like to come?â
âShe seems to be important to you, and I would love to meet important people in your lifeâ, Julia answered and continued brushing her hair. âAlso, she seems like a very nice person.â
Shinichi turned away and hummed. âShe is nice and kindâ, he admitted.
He heard how she moved and soon he felt how her arms wrapped around him. âI would love to know her betterâ, Julia said gently and pressed her head against his back. âIf she is important to you, I want her to be important to me too.â
He smiled. Julia was nice too. Anyone else would probably be angry or jealous, but she? She just wanted to meet her, get to know herâŠ
But he wondered how much Ran would be part of his life after this reunion. He wouldnât mind, but the truth was that after this, he would go back to America. They wouldn't see each other if one or another wouldn't make that long trip, and he wasn't sure how much they would be in touch.
Besides, Ran had said that she wanted to clear something between them. And if thatâs the caseâŠÂ
âI donât knowâ, Shinichi said finally and turned to her, making her grip loosen. âShe would probably love to get to know you, but you know, we⊠She said that there are things we have to clear up between us.â
âAbout that Conan thing?â
Shinichi shrugged. âWe did talk about it back then, so Iâm not sure what there is to talk about anymoreâ, he answered, trying not to think about it too much. Otherwise, he didnât know how he would get himself to that cafe where he agreed to meet Ran. âBut⊠I donât know, maybe she feels bad about how we break up or⊠or something, I donât know.â
âWell, I think itâs her lossâ, Julia said gently and grabbed his tie, straightening it - like Ran had done too many times back then. âBut I get it. And I think itâs good to talk about it if you feel like it, butâŠâ She raised her eyes at him, smiling. âI would still love to get to know her.â
Shinichi smiled. âOkay, okay, I get itâ, he answered and put his hands around her. âI promise, after we have talked, I can make a meeting for you two.â
Her smile widened and she raised her arms around his neck. âI canât waitâ, she said and smiled mischievously before pressing a kiss corned of his mouth and resting her head against his. âIâm so excited to hear all the stories about you.â
âCome onâ, Shincihi let out. âMom has already told you everything.â
Julia let out a laugh. âBut she doesnât know what a childhood friend and ex-girlfriend does.â
Shinichi rolled his eyes. Oh God⊠But fortunately, there wasnât much that Julia didnât know. Right?
He glanced at his watch, but there were still five minutes before their meeting. He put his hand back in his pocket and looked around. He looked at the busy street, looking at people and trying to figure out something about their lives, trying to distract himself, but it was pointless. His thoughts went back to Ran and what she wanted to talk about. And every time it made him feel nervous. He didnât want to admit it, but he felt restless like he should be doing something instead of just standing there, but at the same time he knew he should just wait there. But he hated to be aware that his heart was beating a little bit faster than normal and his palms were sweating.
God, why did he need to be so nervous? It was just Ran, his childhood friend! And only yesterday, when they had planned their meeting, he was so eager to catch up with her! Why so restless now?
Well, maybe because he hadnât waited for it to happen this fast. Maybe he had thought that they would meet at a class reunion and get a chance to speak there instead of being in a cafe, just two of them. He hadnât really prepared that she would have time to meet him sooner.
But then again, maybe it was a good thing to clear the air now because he was pretty sure that they wouldnât have that luxury in class reunion. And⊠well, he still remembered how their high school classmates were very supportive of their relationship, so maybe it would only make everything harder if, at the same time, they were curious about what happened to them. There would be no luxury of privacy - probably.
But what in the world she would like to clear up? He admitted that they hadnât talked about it too much, but he had thought that they were fine. At least he hadnât had anything to ask or talk about. He had known that it had been his last chance, and he had known that trying to insist on giving him one more chance wouldnât have done any good. He understood better than well why it had happened and he didnât blame her.
The breakup⊠It hadnât been nice, and if one of them, he had broken his heart. But to be honest, he hadnât been angry about it. It was true that he had been jealous of how easily Ran had moved on, but he hadnât wanted to say anything. He hadnât wanted to make Ran feel bad about it, and she was a free woman to do whatever she felt like and he had had to accept it.
And she had seemed happier and free than with him. To be honest, it had been something that had made him pretty sad, made his heart ache because he had wanted to be the one who made sure that she was fine, that she had everythingâŠ
He had wanted to be the one who would make her the happiest woman in the world.
He pushed it aside. It was history now. She was fine, and that was the most important. Besides, even though they hadnât talked about it later, he had thought that they were still friends. Not as close as before, but they still greeted each other and talked if they happened to be in the same place, in the same group, or something. And it was better than breaking up with fighting and being unable to talk to each other.
âHey, sorry Iâm a little late!â
Shinichi turned and saw how Ran walked fast closer to him. She smiled a little shyly when slowing her steps, and he noticed how nervously she squeezed her handbagâs strap with her hands.
So she was nervous too.
But she looked cute with that shyness. Like back before. It brought back so many memoriesâŠ
âItâs okayâ, he answered and showed her a smile. âYou know, you donât have to be so nervous around meâ, he said. He was one to talk, but at least he hoped that it wouldnât show out from him. âWe are still childhood friends, right?â
âRightâ, Ran agreed, letting out a laugh, and she looked like she relaxed a little bit. âBut to be honestâŠâ She kept a little pause and somehow her smile and expression seemed a little bit sad. âI feel a little bit nervous to see you. After⊠everything.â
Shinichi wanted to ask why, but at the same time, he knew. He felt that too, and to be more clear, he was a little bit worried about what she would want to talk about. Even though part of him believed that this was only to make their relationship better, clear that nervousness, he was still a little bit worried about where it would go or if there would be more problems that she would bring up. Or something else that he wasnât ready for. Of course, he was over her, accepted everything, and moved on, but he just wasnât eager to find out how else he had hurt that beautiful and kind woman.
âWell, letâs talk about it inside, okay?â he said finally and went to the front door, opening it and then turning to let Ran go first. âI can payâ, he offered.
Ran shook her head. âI thought that I would be nice this time and payâ, she said while walking to the door. âIn the end, I invited and you have come far.â
âThatâs not how this worksâ, Shinichi answered when Ran went in. And for a moment he hesitated. Fast he glanced at the street, taking a last deep breath before he stepped inside after her.
And yet, seeing how Ran was still herself made him feel comfortable. She adored every sweet that the cafe got in their vitrine. âStill greedy for sweet?â he had asked innocently, but when getting that spicy glance from Ran, he couldnât stop himself from laughing. Yet, he promised to pay anything that Ran would like to have, but instead, she had just raised her chin and told him that she would be fine only with a latte. After she had turned to eye a table for them, he had ordered coffee himself and a piece of strawberry cake.
âOh, so you took a cake yourselfâ, Ran asked and smiled mischievously when meeting his eyes. âDonât you be afraid that you would gain too much weight?â
âItâs not for meâ, he answered and gave it to her. âItâs for you.â
âFor me?â Ran asked surprised. âWhy?â
Shinichi shrugged. âBecause you eyed it, but I believe you are still too considerate to take it because someone else is going to pay for it.â
He sat down and waited for some spiky answer, but when he didnât get any, he raised his eyes to see how Ran stared at the cake. He frowned. âIs something wrong?â
Fast Ran met his eyes. Then she let out a laugh before lowering her eyes back down. âYou shouldnât haveâ, she finally said in a silent voice.
âBut I wanted toâ, he answered. And before she had time to say anything else, the waitress brought coffee and a latte for them.
And then they just sat there. Ran looked at her piece of cake that she didnât dare to touch, Shinichi just stirred his coffee like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
And the silence was so unbearable.
The silence between them had never felt so awkward. Shinichi remembered very well how easy it had been being around Ran even though they wouldnât have anything to talk about. They had just been there, together. No words were needed.
But now, somehow, Shinichi felt like he needed words. Something to talk about. And when he glanced at Ran, he could see her nervousness too. She just stared at her cake, keeping that little fork on her fingers like planning to take a little piece, and yet unable to touch it. Usually, it would have been Ran who would say something first, butâŠ
He had always struggled with this. And part of him knew that it wasnât the smoothest way to go to that conversation, but since he didnât know how to else do itâŠ
âSoâ, Shinichi started and lowered his eyes to his coffee, stirring it slowly, hoping that Ran wouldnât pay attention too much. âWhat you wanted to talk about?â
It made him smile. âWell, she appreciates that Iâm directâ, he answered and leaned back on the chair, looking outside from the window. âBut she is also pretty direct herself, soâŠâ
He wanted to say that maybe it was why they got along so well, but at the same time, he didnât want to say it. He had gotten along with Ran pretty well even though she was more sensible with her words.
But Ran had known him like forever. Of course, she had known him better than anyone else.
âHow did you two meet?â
Shinichi still kept his eyes on the street. âShe studied journalism, and we actually met in the libraryâ, he started before ripping his eyes from the window and looking at his coffee, remembering that library and how Julia had been there, looking frustrated while reading something. âShe was doing some research about some mysterious case that she wanted to use for her school project. I, on the other hand, was there to find a few days old magazine where there was an article about one case I was interested in solving. SoâŠâ He raised his eyes to Ran and grinned. âWe happened to be there, and I happened to see how frustrated she was.â He let out a laugh, remembering all those silent curses and how she had looked like she had been ready to rip her hair off. âI got a little annoyed about her frustration, so I finally asked if she needed help. She admitted to me that she was trying to find something about some case that no one seemed to know anything about. She told me that she was studying journalism, and wanted to write about it as a project. She told me that she had tried to search every place she knew, but there was nothing. So I offered to help because I knew I could get to the New York Police Department's archives.â
Ran shook her head. âI shouldnât be surprised that you have already made friends with themâ, she said smiling.
âI canât take the creditâ, Shinichi answered. âI still have a feeling that my father was behind it.â
âHe was?â
âWell, he didnât straightforwardly make me known there, but he knew those people and kind of gave me a push when I needed it", he said, trying not to remember it too much, because it had been during that time when he hadn't been at his best. Even though he had claimed to be okay and told his parents that he was able to do things instead of locking himself anywhere, he knew that his parents had given him a little push from time to time, and made sure that he would move on and get something to do and something else to think about. Even though they hadn't said anything, he realised it much later. And introducing him to the New York Police Department had been one of those things. Even though his father had just said that day that he needed to make a fast visit for some reason, it was clear now that his intention was just to make sure that those people would see Shinichi and that way gave him a chance to start somewhere again. âSo I made an impression on them, they remembered me and I got a chance to do some detective work", he finished instead.
He saw how Ran smiled gently while lowering her eyes to her latte.
âThen, as thanks for helping her, she asked what I was after", Shincihi continued when Ran didn't say anything. "I told her that she couldnât help me, but decided to tell her about that case that I was after. Then she told me that she knew the one who had written that article, and with her help, I got a meeting with them.â
Again, Ran shook her head. âAnd then you fall in love?â she asked.
âNot reallyâ, Shinichi answered. âActually she was pretty eager to write more about crimes, and since it seemed we could help each other, we kept in touch.â Then he shrugged. âAnd we spend more time together, and⊠well, then we started to date.â
âAnd then you propose to her?â
Shinichi couldn't explain why, but somehow he felt guilty. Even though Ranâs voice wasnât accusative, but curious and gentle, he felt like he had done something wrong. But why would he? In the end, he had been free to do whatever he wanted to, date whoever he wanted to, and propose who he wanted to.
But maybe he felt guilty just because he hadnât been in touch with Ran and told her anything.
âYeah, I didâ, he answered finally and showed a fast smile to Ran. âShe was much easier to charm than youâ, he said, mostly joking, but truth to be told, it had taken so much time from him before he had even found out what Ran was thinking about him, and even when he had found out, he hadnât been himself, but Conan. But Ran had always been a tough case for him. Julia had been much easier to read. She was pretty direct about it.
Ranâs smile saddened a little bit. âAnd here I was, thinking that I was too easily under your charm.â
Shinichi frowned. âI donât think soâ, he said. âOr if you were, you hid it very well.â
Ran laughed. âI have grown up with you. Even for me, it was hard to realize when my love for you turned from friendship to romanticâ, she said. Then her mood changed and she was nervous again. âWhichâŠâ She kept a little pause, like searching her words. âAnd⊠Iâm sorry.â
And when she raised her eyes on him, there were glimmering in those orchid-colored eyes. Those tears that - and he remembered only now - he hated to see. Especially when he was the reason for them. âHow we broke up.â
âHeyâ, Shinichi said and leaned on the table. âThere is nothing to apologize forâ, he assured her and smiled at her, hoping it would make her feel okay. âYou donât have to feel sorry about that.â
âBut⊠but I was the one who just decided soâ, she continued and raised her hand to wipe her eyes. She tried to smile. âLike⊠I donât remember if you said anything or maybe I didnât let youâŠâ Then she let out a broken laugh, like trying to hide her cry. âHow pitiful, I donât even remember clearlyâŠâ
He remembered. He remembered how he had come home after solving a case that night. Ran had been there, waiting for him, and⊠dropped the bomb. And he still remembered how it had felt like his heart had dropped somewhere high and like a glass, broke in many shards on the floor. It had felt like his whole world had just shattered around him, like his knees would have given up and let him just sink somewhere darkâŠ
He had just stood there, kept together as much as he could. He hadnât said much back then. He had tried to ask where her doubts had come from, what he had done to make her doubt, and finally asked how he could fix it. And when she had said that it was the end, he hadnât had much to say. The last thing he remembered before leaving was how he tried to tell her that he still loved her more than anything else, but she had just turned her back and interrupted him, telling him not to say it.
She hadnât screamed or shouted, but she had been pretty straightforward and told him that she had decided it and wouldnât change her mind anymore. Which had felt a little unfair because he would have wanted to fix it, know what he had done wrong so he could change it, butâŠ
But deep down he had known all that time that he had already gotten his second chance. He knew exactly where and why she got those doubts, and he had known better not to push her.
He had been the reason why their relationship had gotten those scars. And as much as he had tried to fix them, he had failed. It hadnât been his place to try to change her mind anymore. And now that he thought about it, maybe he had seen the signs long ago but ignored them. Because he had loved her more than anything, she had been his whole world, and he had thought that if he just tried harder, he could fix everything he had broken. But he couldnât have done it, and he should have accepted it sooner. But he hadn't.
And knowing Ran, probably that decision hadnât been easy for her either. It had probably taken so much time from her, and so much courage to let it out. There wasnât any reason to make it any harder, not for her, and not for himself.
âI didnât, because I knew that it was my last chanceâ, he said finally. âI had already lied to you and tested your limits. It was even a miracle that you gave me another chance. You donât even know how happy I was about that. I thought I wouldnât even deserve that. ButâŠâ He shook his head even though he kept his smile. âBut seeing how miserable I just made youâŠâ
âNo, you didnâtâ, Ran interrupted. âAnd it wasnât just your fault, I was just⊠IâŠâ She looked miserable. âI donât even know anymore. I was just too stuck with the thought that all that time you were Conan. I just felt betrayed that I wasnât worth your trust, but instead⊠instead you let her help you.â
âHaibara was in the same situation, she knew alreadyâŠâ
âI know, I knowâ, Ran interrupted, making him shut his mouth. âBut I couldnât help it, I just⊠I have always trusted you, and I have always been there for youâ, she said finally and looked at him. âI was so worried about you all the time, I would have done anything to help you. And when you came back and told me everything, I was so wounded that⊠you left me outside. Even if it was meant to keep me safe.â
âAnd thatâs okay, and you donât have to feel bad about itâ, Shinichi comforted her, and before he realised his next action, he touched her hand that rested on the table, squeezing it gently. âThose are understandable feelings, and you had all the right to feel that way. Like I said, I was sure that you wouldnât let me have another chance, but you did, and I was lucky.â
âIt doesnât helpâ, Ran said. âBecause I still feel bad how I concentrated only on my misery that I didn't give much thought about how it must have felt for you. That maybe I should have just sat down with you and talked about it instead of telling you that I want to break upâŠâ
âYou know me, I had always been bad for showing my feelingsâ, he said, hoping it would make her feel better. âAnd besides, I bet you had too many things in your mind too. Itâs only understandable that youâŠâ
âBut it wasnât fairâ, Ran interrupted him before lowering her eyes. âAnd thatâs something I regret every day. And... and for a second time, I⊠I lost someone dear to me, who had been there most of my life, but this time it was my own fault.â
âCome on, Ran, you didnât lose anyone.â
âI lost youâ, she said and looked at him with tears. âAnd I realised it only after I didnât see you anywhere anymore. When I tried to ask, it seemed that no one knew where you went. Again you just disappeared, and I thought that something bad had happened, but⊠IâŠâ
âIâm sorry I left like that, I should have said somethingâ, he apologized. He felt like he hadn't learned anything. Like he had just repeated all his mistakes... âAs I told you, my plan was just to go to visit my parents and come back, and continue like beforeâ, he explained. âBut then I got a chance to study there, and⊠andâŠâ He let out a deep sigh because he felt a little bit stupid about what he was going to say next: âWell, I thought that no one would miss me during that time.â Then he smiled. âBesides, you could have always asked, you know.â
âI didnât dareâ, she admitted and let out a broken laugh. âI⊠I thought you left without saying anything because you hated me.â
Shinichi just stared at her. God, he hadnât even thought how much it would affect Ran. He had always thought that she made up her mind and was okay with it, but he had been wrong. Or maybe he had been too much into his own misery that he hadnât given even a thought to what Ran would go through. But in his defense, she had seemed to be fine, he had really thought that she was okay with everything.
âI would never hate youâ, Shinichi said finally, and after hesitating, he decided to continue: âBesides, if we think about it, you saved us both from something more terrible.â
âLike what?â she asked like she was doubting.
âWell, if we had stayed together, you would have just lied to me that everything was okay. We would have lived with a lack of confidence, but we would have probably pretended that everything was fine. You would have always doubted me and I would have tried to fix something even though I wouldnât have even known what I would try to fix. And in the end, we would have been both drained out of energy andâŠâ He glanced at her, keeping a little break. âWell, I canât say for sure, but in the end, maybe we would have ended up in a big fight.â He shrugged and smiled at her. âSo⊠donât you think this was a better option?â
He saw her smile a little bit.
âAndâŠâ Again, he hesitated for a moment before continuing: âMaybe itâs better this wayâ, he said finally. âI mean it was something I regretted, I still do. Because you were the most important thing in my life, andâŠâ He looked away because he couldn't look into her eyes while saying it. âAll I wanted was to make you happy. But⊠I couldnâtâŠâ
âYou did, Shinichi.â
Shinichi shook his head. âI didnâtâ, he said and smiled at her. âI didnât do anything else than bring pain to you. I thought myself lucky when you gave me another chance and I still am, but I was a fool to think that you could trust me, after everything.â And when Ran lowered her eyes, Shinichi continued. âWe gave everything we could, right? And⊠even after everything, we still had many good times.â He hesitated for a moment when Ran didnât look at him. âOr at least I hadâŠâ
âWe did", she said finally, with a silent voice, but still didn't meet his eyes. "We really did." Then he felt how she turned her hand on the table so she could grab his hand. âI just wish I would have been wiser on how to handle... well, everything.â
âWe can never learn if we donât try and experienceâ, Shinichi said. âBesides, who said that love would be easy?â
Ran let out a laugh, and when she met his eyes, he could tell that something was different. Of course, there were still tears, but she looked a little bit better. âWell, thatâs rightâ, she said with a smile. âAnd Iâm happy that I got a chance to learn with you.â
âMe too.â Then Shinichi took the napkin that he had and offered it to Ran. âWould you like to dry those tears?â
Ranâs smile widened. âThanksâ, she said while taking it. âYou are still prepared.â
âWell, being with a crybaby like you, I need to be.â
And he got that exactly murderous glance that he had hoped to gain. âCare to repeat that, Shinichi?â she asked, and even though that was the tone that warned him to run for his life, he grinned. And slowly, her murderous stare melted and they both laughed.
They continued their talk, telling what happened to them after Shinichi left. And somehow it felt comfortable and easy. Ran smiled and seemed like she had redeemed herself from her regrets. It felt so incredible how much one talk changed. Even Shinichi felt relaxed. Like he was free to tell her anything.
Like it was back then.
Finally, it was time to leave. It surprised Shinichi how time had flown with Ran, but then again, time had always gone too fast when he had been with her. So it wasnât a surprise how he felt a little disappointed when stepped outside from the cafe.
âSo, we see each other in class reunion?â
âYeah, we willâ, Shinichi promised. He opened his mouth to leave his goodbyes, but then, like out of nowhere, he remembered something. âOh, by the wayâŠâ
Ran tilted her head a little bit and looked curious.
âJulia asked if she could meet youâ, Shinichi explained. âShe was so eager to join us today, but I told her that we would like to speak just two of us. But I promised to ask if you would like to meet her laterâŠâ
And he saw how something in Ranâs smile changed a little bit. Like it would have lost a little bit of its shine like she was forced to keep it up. But before he could take a better glance at it, try to read it more, she lowered her head and straightened her skirtâs helm without saying anything.
âOf course, you donât have to if you donât like toâ, Shinichi hurried to continue. âI can always sayâŠâ
Something was still off, but Shinichi couldn't point it out. So instead of questioning, he nodded. Maybe he was just imagining things. In the end, it had been five years. Maybe he couldnât read Ran as well as beforeâŠ
A/N: Okay, you know what? I give up! I have saved this one-shot like two years or something just to post it on Kudo Day, but like every other year before, I missed it again D: So I decided to give up and just post it. If I didnât remember it this year, I have no idea how I would do it next either.
But a little backstory, because I love to share those. In the winter of 2020, I participated in the Finnish fanfic -server in a challenge named Fluff10, in which the idea was to write ten fluff fics. At first, I wanted to use only ShinRan, but then I decided to participate generally with Detective Conan since there are so many pairings I like. Well, it didnât go very well: I got four of them written, and only one of those I published. To be honest, I have no idea what happened. But when I started to share my fics on Tumblr, I thought that I shouldnât let them go in vain, so I decided that maybe with time, I should translate them and share them with you! Though this one has been ready for a long time, I have just waited until Kudo Day ^^â
But yeah, this is the third of those four fics that I wrote in Finnish for that challenge. The first one was Eternal Flame and the second one was Can I have this Dance. But even though this isnât ShinRan, I hope you like this â€
Our greatest Masterpiece
Summer started to move beside and fall slowly took over parks in Tokyo. Leaves and bushes lose their green colors and change into yellow, orange, or red ones. The wind started to be a little bit colder, but somehow it felt refreshing. And yet, the afternoon sun made the scenery very bright and beautiful. Looking at how leaves one by one lose their grips from the branches and make them hover around⊠It somehow looked beautiful, even romantic.
Under the big-brimmed hat, the woman admired the scenery through her sunglasses. On her red lips rested a dreamy smile. The view became more and more romantic when she observed those young couples who walked through the park hand in hand, parents in each otherâs arms looking after their little children, and those older ones who had seen many things during their lives, just sitting there peacefully side by side, enjoying the day and each other warmth.
Maybe someday she andâŠ
She felt how the baby stroller moved a little bit. Her eyes moved to look into the stroller where a little, well-dressed five months old boy moved a little bit before continuing his peaceful sleeping. That loving smile that had lost for a moment, came back on her lips when she observed her beautiful little offspring. Yukiko was actually a little surprised that her curious son had been patient enough to close his eyes to take a little daydream. Shinichi has a very calm nature, but curiosity? He got more than enough. Seeing the sky or his parentsâ faces wasnât enough anymore. At home, everything, that Shinichi couldnât get close enough, interested him very much. He had already learned to turn from back to stomach and back and was dangerously fast learning how to crawl. Yukiko was already worried about what would happen when that boy learned to move on his own.
Yukiko bent a little to stroke the boyâs cheek with her fingers. She needed all her willpower so she wouldnât take that sleeping child into her arms just that she could press his cheek against hers and yell to the world how little and cute and beautiful her little one was! Oh, she was so proud of her son! She wanted so much to stop everyone she met only to show them her little Shin-chan! She wanted too much to take him into her arms, squeeze him into a gentle hug, drown him in kisses, and babble about how loved he was.
But she didnât dare to do it. The boy had finally closed his eyes and fallen asleep, and that was an achievement in itself. Instead of sleeping, Shinichi was much more interested to examine and learn about the world around him. He wanted to touch and taste everything that he saw and could grab with his little fingers. Whatever his parents were doing, those bright blue eyes were glued to them. He wanted to see, wanted to know, and if they didnât show him, he let out a scream only to get their attention, to make them show him what they were doing or what they were holding.
âAh, you have got Shinichi to sleep?â
Yukiko took away her hand before ripping her eyes away from the boy. She turned to look at the young, dark-haired man who walked closer to her in his long, light brown jacket. Both of his hands were in his pockets, and on his armpit was some kind of book, whose name Yukiko couldnât see. She met his dark eyes and felt so happy that her husband was finally back.
âYu-chan!â she shouted shrilly, maybe more loud than she meant to. Fast she covered her mouth with a hand and glanced at the boy, but Shinichi seemed still sleeping without caring about a loud sound. With relief, she let her hand drop and turned back to look at her husband. âWhat took you so long?â she asked and decided to roast him a little bit. âI started to believe that you had abandoned me already!â
A man let out a soft laugh. He took his left arm away from the pocket and wrapped it around Yukiko, making her come a little closer. Yukiko leaned against him, feeling how Yusakuâs hand went to rest on her waist. âWhy would I abandon my beautiful wife and little son?â
Yukiko felt a blush on her cheeks but decided to still be a little offended. âHow do I know if some unlucky young, beautiful girl has taken you with her.â
Yusaku let out a laugh, making Yukiko look at him. âBut how is that possible?â he asked with a smile and dark eyes met her. âI already got Japanese youngest and the most beautiful wife.â Yukiko felt her cheeks burning more when the man came a little closer his eyes twinkling. âNo one canât beat you.â
His lips touched Yukikoâs reddish cheek. Yukiko smiled. She turned her face a little bit, enough that she could press her lips against Yusakuâs and exchange a loving kiss. She grabbed the back of his jacket, ensuring he couldnât leave â like he was even doing that.
Then they moved away from the kiss and pressed their foreheads against each other. Yukiko opened her eyes, looking straight into those familiar, dark ones. She wouldnât ever get tired of looking at themâŠ
âYou know I love you?â
She felt how her heart made a somersault. She let go of his jacket and raised her hand to touch his cheek to stroke it. âLove you tooâ, she answered gently before leaning a little closer to steal one kiss, then anotherâŠ
A little sound from the baby made them move away from each other. Both of them looked in the baby stroller where their little offspring made sounds at the same time while he was moving. For a while, he looked like searching for a better position to be before stopping and calming down. Both parents waited for a while, but when the boy didnât open his eyes, Yusaku moved a little bit away from his wife.
âWe should probably continue our walkâ, he said, taking that book from his right armpit. Yukiko tried to see the name of it while Yusaku looked at the clock on his left wrist. âI have a feeling that Shinichi is going to wake up soon and be hungry.â
âProbablyâ, Yukiko answered and observed how Yusaku put the book into the stroller beside Shinichiâs little feet. For fast she could see the name of the book and the author before Shinichi moved his feet and hid part of it. âIs that your new book?â she asked and turned to look at her husband who was looking at their son with a soft expression. âI didnât know they were printing it already!â
âThat was only a specimenâ, he answered a little absently before he straightened himself and looked at his wife with a smile. âHowever, they said it would be ready to be sold after two weeks.â
Yukikoâs smile widened. âThatâs wonderful, Yu-chan!â she chirped happily and pressed a new kiss on his cheek. âItâs going to be your greatest masterpiece!â
âNo, it wonâtâ, Yusaku answered, making Yukikoâs smile disappear. Yet, the man smiled and pressed a kiss on her lips before turning to look at their son. âMine⊠No, our greatest masterpiece exists already.â
Yukiko stared at him for a moment before following his gaze to the baby stroller. For a moment she stared at sleeping Shinichi before she started to smile gently, feeling love, happiness, and pride. Then she let out a laugh and pressed closer into Yusakuâs arms. âYouâre rightâ, she agreed. âHe definitely is.â
Aaws, thank you so much for this nice message and all the support you have given â€ïž I have to admit that I have had hard times lately, so this really made my day đ„č I love you too and I hope you are doing well â€ïž And I also hope to see you here in the future đ
(Also so sorry for the late answer! My Tumblr app hasn't sent any notification about the ask until today đ±)
Shinichi is back in Japan after five years, meaning to take a part in class reunion. Ran happens to meet him by chance, feeling happy to see him again, seeing that he is the exact same man that she had been in love with. Nothing has changed.
Except that he has a fiancee...
A/N: Wow, I have been away... well, around two months, and Tumbrl has changed so much that I almost didn't know how to navigate here xD
But yeah, here is the second chapter. Maybe I save you from my ramblings, and let you guys see what you like about this second chapter ^^ I also hope you all have been well â€
Chapter 1
Chapter 2: Regrets
He has a fiancee. A nice-looking one. Shining blonde hair, those weird, amber-colored eyes which looked so beautiful and bright under the sun, a little darker skin tone than hers⊠She looked so energetic, happy, and lovely, she⊠sheâŠ
She was his⊠fianceeâŠ
âRan!â
âYeah?â Ran asked and raised her head. Sonoko looked at her, a little annoyed like she had waited for her attention sometime now. Ran tried to stop herself from frowning, even though she wondered if she had really fallen too deep into her thoughts. She didnât think so, but she hadnât heard Sonoko talking to her at all, soâŠ
âWhat did you say?â Ran asked when Sonoko didnât say anything. After leering at her for a moment, Sonokoâs expression softened. She looked a little bit worried when she tilted her head.
âIs something wrong?â
Ran frowned. âNoâ, she answered and smiled. âWhy?â
âI feel like your thoughts are somewhere else than with me.â
Really? Ran didnât want to believe it, but then again, this had been something that had been on her mind during the last hour and a half. Sonoko was right to be worried, but⊠But.
So Ran let out a laugh, trying to move it aside. âItâs nothing.â
âAre you sure?â
Ran nodded. She met Sonokoâs bluish eyes staring before she closed her eyes and shook her head. âNo hard feelings, Ran, but it shows from you that something bothers you. You canât hide it from me.â
Ran smiled at her best friend before lowering her eyes back to her latte. It wasnât like she couldnât trust Sonoko, but she really wanted to avoid this discussion because she knew already where it would go. In the end, she was the oneâŠ
But then again, she couldnât lie. If it really showed on her face, Sonoko wouldnât give up, and maybe it would make her feel better when she would let it out of her mind.
So, she smiled wistfully, still looking at that latte. âHe is hereâ, she said finally.
Ran gathered herself for a moment before raising her eyes back to Sonoko. âShinichi.â
âOh, really?â Sonoko asked, looking surprised. âWow, so Nakamichi really got in touch with him. I thought he was just lyingâŠâ
Ran frowned. âWhat? You knew?â
Sonoko shrugged. âI thought he was just making it upâ, she answered like it wasnât a big deal at all and sipped from her latte before continuing: âBesides, I remember you saying that you donât want to hear about him.â
And there it came. That line she knew Sonoko would say to her. And even though she knew that she deserved it, it felt a little unfair.
After she and Shinichi broke up, Sonoko had been shocked. It had taken some time before Sonoko had stopped being worried about her and believed when Ran had said that they were over for good. But after that, when Sonoko finally believed that she really was fine, she started to be worried about Shinichi. She asked him every time they met, like how he was doing and whether had they talked to each other. And after some time, she started to tell her how broken he looked, how they should talk more, how they were meant to be⊠Even though Ran told her that they were okay, they broke up as a friend, and to her, Shinichi seemed to be okay, Sonoko didnât give up.Â
And finally, Ran had gotten enough. She remember how she finally snapped at her, telling her that they werenât meant to be, they were over, they were still friends and she doesnât want to hear anything about Shinichi anymore, because she just doesnât care!
That had been a lie. And even back then, she knew that she had been unfair and harsh. Because she knew, deep down, that Sonoko had just wanted her best, being worried. And since she and Shinichi were also friends, she probably had been worried about Shinichi too. And Sonoko had always believed in them. She had been there, seeing them grow up together. She had seen how much they cared for each other, she had supported them more than anyone else, she⊠She had believed that if there were soulmates, Shinichi and Ran were proof of it. She had believed that they were meant to be, that nothing couldnât break them.
Once a upon time, Ran had believed in that too.
She really had. Shinichi had been everything she had loved. He had been the one who she had trusted, the one who she knew she could lean on, he had been the one she⊠sheâŠ
But then Conan and the Black Organisation happened. And even though she had been grateful that Shinichi was back and safe, she had been shocked at the fact that all that time he had been under her nose, lying to her and her father, using her father to solve cases⊠And even though she had loved him, she had needed the time. What else she could have done? She was angry and felt betrayed. He hadnât trusted her enough to tell her, not even though she had always been there for him and supported him all she could. Who knew how much more he had lied to her? And he had used her father⊠It had been something that Ran couldnât accept. It hadnât been something that her Shinichi would do, and yet, there he had been, using her father as pleasedâŠ
But she had got over it - at least she had thought so, and told Shinichi that they should try to date again. In the end, she still loved him and she hadnât been ready to give up, not just⊠yet.
But suspicion and lack of confidence followed her and their relationship. Every time Shinichi was away, she was always wondering if he was just lying to her, maybe he really was cheating on her. With every word he said, Ran felt like she was just searching for lies. Everything reminded her of Conan -case and she felt like she couldnât gain back the same trust that she had had before.
As much as she loved him, she couldnât get over it.
So she had made that hard decision.
But back then, it had felt to be the right one. Back then it had taken so much of her energy and dating him hadnât been worth it, not even though she still loved him. And to be honest⊠She had felt free after the breakup. Free and lighter.
Now she regretted it. More than anything. God, right now she regretted so many things.
âSo, I take it that you saw him?â
Ran hummed. âWe metâ, she said and raised her head to look at Sonoko. âHeâŠâ She shut her mouth, unsure if she really should admit it to Sonoko. He had looked as handsome as always. Those beautiful, glimmering blue eyes had brightened when seeing her. That laugh had been music in her ears, let alone hearing his voice, talking to her like he had used to⊠He had that same scent that she had used to know, his arms were still the warmest and safest place, feeling like⊠likeâŠ
And then that American woman had come and dropped the bomb.
A fiancee.
âDid he say something stupid?â
âWhat?â Ran asked, concentrating back on Sonoko, who observed her worriedly. âOh, no, noâ, she answered and laughed. âOf course notâŠâ
âSo you hoped he wouldnât have come back at all?â
Ran frowned. âWhy would I wish something like that?â she asked. âWe are childhood friends, we have gone through so much. And in the end, he has all the right to come and go as he pleases. BesidesâŠâ She took a break, lowering her eyes like she had done something bad and didnât want to admit it. âIt was me who approached him, soâŠâ
There was silence. And the longer it took, the heavier it started to feel. God, she knew that Sonoko would make her pay for that.
âSoâŠâ Sonoko started slowly. âThen, what is it?â
Ran stared at her latte intensively. She wondered if she should keep it herself, butâŠ
âDid you know he has a fiancee?â she asked finally, holding her tears. God, this was so stupid, she knew it, but she couldnâtâŠ
âHe has?â
Ran closed her eyes for a moment before raising her head and looking at Sonoko, meeting her reaction. And to her surprise, Sonoko didnât seem to be interested in the news. She had always been the one who was interested to hear the newest gossip, always ready to find out more. But this? This didnât seem to interest her at all.
And it made Ran feel worse.
âYou knewâ, she said finally, hoping that she wouldnât sound too accusatory.
âI didnâtâ, Sonoko answered, taking again a sip from her latte before continuing with a voice that had a little hint of toxic. âBut youâre not interested in Kudo-kun anymore, so I donât know why it would bother you.â
It made Ranâs heart crack a little bit. Yeah, she knew she deserved this, after how harshly she had told Sonoko to not mention Shinichi anymore. She had tried to make her stop in a nicer way, but God, Sonoko hadnât understood and stoppedâŠ
But the worst part was that she wasnât in the mood to take all those bites back right now. She had just wanted to talk with someone who would offer her even a little bit more emphatic, but even though she knew she deserved everything that Sonoko gave her back, it still didnât make her feel any better. Maybe she should have kept her mouth shut in the first place. She should have known that Sonoko wasnât going to give her a warm hug and conform.
But it couldnât be helped. She had started it already. All she could do right now was to take all Sonoko has to offer and live with it. And maybe it was something that she should try to make up with Sonoko. In the end, she never apologized for itâŠ
âExcept it seems to bother you.â
Ran let out a sigh. âIâm just surprisedâ, she said instead of admitting anything and tried to smile, though when she looked at Sonoko, she was sure that it didnât look as assured as she had hoped. âI mean he is a detective geek! Cases are always following him. Who in the world would like to marry him?â She laughed. âCan you imagine?â
âWell, probably someone since he has a fianceeâ, Sonoko said blankly, making Ranâs heart sink a little bit more.
Yeah, Shinichi had always been popular among girls. Of course, he would get anyone he just liked toâŠ
âOh, Ranâ, she heard Sonoko sigh. âWhat did you wait to happen? That after - what? Five years? He would come back as a single, still ready to marry you? After you break up with him?â
Ran lowered her eyes to her latte, probably unveiling the truth that she still liked him. Loved him.
No, she had no idea what she had waited for. From the start, even though Sonoko had tried to point out that they were meant to be, she had believed that they werenât. But they had been still friends, at least at that time, Ran had believed they were okay even after the breakup.
She had been wrong, to be honest. They should have talked about it more. If not because of him, but because of her. Because after a few years, many things had come back to haunt her.
But back then, she had believed that everything was okay. She moved on and started to date others. And even though some of them were good, none of them hadnât worked out well enough. Some of them lasted a little longer than others, but she had still always ended up as a single.
And after a few years, she realized the reason: She was just looking for someone like him. Someone who would be reliable, righteous, brave, and make her feel safe⊠Someone who would show her his love and it would feel special - like they mean it. Someone who just⊠knows her. Better than anyone else.
But the truth was, there was only one Kudo Shinichi. And as much as Ran had tried to deny it, she had realized that she still loved him. And maybe somewhere deep down she had again started to believe that she and Shinichi was meant to be, that maybe one day she would find Shinichi again, and maybe he would still give her a chance to try again one more time.
But it seems that it was too late for her. Shinichi had moved on and found someone else. She had lost her chances, and she couldnât blame anyone else than herself for that.
Hah, what she had even thought? Like, if she would just wait patiently and nicely one more time, he would have come back to her life and be ready to be with her again.
Well, that had probably been what she had hoped for. That one more time, she could just wait, and he would come back to her. God, she was the reason why they breakup in the first place! And before that, she had been the reason why they got a break from dating after the Black Organisation. He had maybe made her wait for his return, but she had made him wait for her to deal with everything he had told about the Conan period. Like she could make him wait forever if she would want him or not.
Well, he probably would have waited an eternity if she would have just asked.
âI didnâtâ, she answered finally. Like she could admit to it to Sonoko how foolish she was right now. In the end, it was what life was. You made decisions and sometimes they are good and some of them you are going to regret later. âItâs just⊠came out as a surprise for me.â
There was another silence. A silence during Ran was sure that Sonoko would expose her, pity her, tell how foolish she was, orâŠ
âDoes he still live in Japan?â
âNoâ, Ran answered, stirring her latte. âHe lives in America, with that womanâŠâ she continued and took a sip from it.
âSo he had come for a class reunionâ, Sonoko summed up. âMaybe we should skip itâŠâ
It made Ran almost choke on her latte. After she swallowed it, she cough to clear her throat. âWhat?â Ran asked finally, taking a napkin and wiping her mouth. âWhy?â
âSo you donât have to meet himâ, Sonoko explained. âAt least I canât tell him not to come, not after he had traveled here for that. And after that, when he had left, you can live in peace againâŠâ
Even the thought made Ran feel sad. She had waited for the class reunion, she had waited to see everyone after so many years, and she had⊠hoped to see him too. Yeah, sure, now it would hurt her, she was sure of it, but she would give anything to have a chance to live even for a moment from her high school years and have Shinichi in it...
Love was so complicated.
âDonât be a foolâ, Ran laughed. âOf course, we are going! I want to meet everyoneâŠâ
âBut RanâŠâ
âDonât worry, itâs going to be alrightâ, she assumed. âAs you said, I was the one who broke up, and in the end, it isnât going to be more than one evening.â
A/N: Finally, here we are! Here is the start for @starmia âs request! I tried to reread and publish this around Easter, but I couldnât make it, so I decided that as soon as Iâm free from school and start my summer holiday, Iâm going to do it. And here we are!
Though this time Iâm working differently with this fic. Usually, I have drafted the whole story before I have started to reread and publish chapters. I like to do that because this way I make sure that any of my long fics wouldnât be left unfinished, and I also can promise when the next chapter comes out. But to be honest, I started to feel like I have promised to work on this fic so long and still hadnât had a chance to start publishing. So I promised myself that as soon as I start my summer holiday, I finished this first chapter and publish it. But the thing is when Iâm writing this (itâs Friday, 16.6.), I have nothing written for chapter two. Yeah, you read right: I have nothing for chapter 2, not even a word ^^â But I start to work on it, and I promise to publish the next chapters as soon as I got them ready! And Iâm really sorry about that because I canât even guess when I got the next chapter ready ^^â
But back to the fic! The request was that Shinichi and Ran tried to date in uni but it didnât work so they decided to be friends, Shinichi went away and years later after he comes back he is engaged but he realizes that he is still in love with Ran.
So here is a start, I hope you like it ^^
Chapter 1: Back in Tokyo
Shinichi didnât remember how beautiful Tokyo was. Or maybe he hadnât appreciated it back then when it was part of his everyday life scenario. But now, after five years in AmericaâŠ
Probably it would have been many years more before he would have even planned to make a visit to Japan if he wouldnât have got a call from Nakamichi. After catching up, he told him that they were planning a class reunion with their group from high school. So, of course, Kudo Shinichi needs to be there too!
To be honest, part of him wasnât a big fan of an idea, but people around him started to be excited about it. His mother started almost immediately planning the flight to Tokyo. And when Shinichi tried to get help from his fiancee to find any good excuse not to go, she had just looked as excited as his mother and told him that they really, really need to make that trip!
Well, he could understand why Julia was so eager to make a visit to Japan. That light-haired woman had lived all her life in America and hadnât traveled anywhere. She had dreamed about traveling around the world and seeing so many different places, but because of school and everything, her dreams hadnât come true - at least not yet. So it was only understandable that when Shinichiâs parents promised to pay for her tickets to Tokyo and back and also a hotel room - even though Shinichi had said they donât have to! - she was so eager to go. Well, Shinichi was pretty sure that Julia would have come even though his mother wouldnât have promised to pay anything.
But yeah. After that, he hadnât had any chance to say no anymore.
But maybe deep done, he was happy that others were eager to make this trip. Because after stepping on Japanâs land, he felt at home. It was weird, because he had a home in America, but Japan had still a special place in his heart. He had grown up in here, learned much from here⊠And truthfully, he really missed his old friends. After high school, they went their different ways and didnât see each other as often as before. He can admit that he hadnât been very good at keeping in touch with them, but then again, they havenât with him.
So walking those streets and seeing those familiar places - though some of them had gotten little different looks during the years - brought back so many good memories. All those adventures he had as a child, his first day at kindergarten, his first day at school, all those soccer games he played with his friends, he remembered all casesâŠ
With all those fond memories, he realized how much he had missed it all. Though some things had changed, including his childhood home, which made him feel a little bit sad. But his parents had sold it after Shinichi was sure that he would like to stay in America, so it was only understandable that there were new owners who wanted to make that house look like theirs.
And here he was, being emotional.
âItâs so beautifulâ, he heard Julia say as they walked to the park. She looked around dreamily, but thatâs how she had walked after yesterday when they had landed. Everything she saw was awesome and beautiful. She had even forgotten her urge to learn Japanese as soon as she had gotten off the plane. Some of the greetings she knew and she knew how to thank, but since she had been too busy to look around while his parents had taken care of everything else, she had lost all possibilities to learn more. But Shinichi hadnât mind, and to be honest, he was sure that it would be more exciting for her to concentrate to see everything around her instead of trying to learn a new language. At least she could do it when they would be back in America, but views? Well, of course, she could always check pictures from the internet, but to be honest, it wouldnât be the same as experiencing them now, right here.
âRight?â Yukiko answered excitedly. âSo much different than New York.â
âSo muchâ, Julia laughed happily, and from the corner of his eyes, he noticed how she turned to look at him. âYouâre so lucky that you got to live both of them.â
Thatâs what his classmates had said when his parents moved to America. First, they had thought that Shinichi had been a fool because he hadnât moved with them, and later they had claimed how lucky Shinichi was, to have an easy way to make a visit to America. But he hadnât seen anything interesting in it. Besides, it just meant packing and all if he had wanted to visit his parents, which he had considered just troublesome.
âI donât think itâs really anything specialâ, he said finally and looked at Julia, but those amber-colored eyes were looking around, trying to see everything. âIf you want to live or visit somewhere, you just have to do it, right?â
Yet she turned to look at him, giving him that certain smile while rolling her eyes. âItâs not that easy for everyone, you know?â
âBut you can always work for itâ, he answered.
She shook her head. âYou donât understand, do you?â
He shrugged. âIt seems I donâtâ he admitted.
Julia laughed and nudged him with her weight. âDonât ever chance, okay?â
He grinned in answer.
âAlright, lovebirdsâ, he heard Yukiko say, making Shinichi look at his mother. âShould we grab something to eat? Iâm starting to feel hungry.â
âOh, yes!â Julia answered, as energetic as always. She took a few run steps to walk beside Yukiko, looking at her excitedly, wrapping her arms around Yukikoâs arm. âWhat do you recommend? I want something new! Actually, Shinichi mentionedâŠâ
Shinichi shook his head mostly himself before following those two and his father. Yet, those cute, pink Sakura flowers stole his attention and his eyes went back to them. He had to admit that he hadnât remembered how beautiful they were. And they brought back memories that he had kind of forgotten. Well, not necessarily forgotten, but dealt with them and moved forward, leaving them behind when there hasnât been anything to remind him of them.
And those memories, they were still dear to him. Painful, but dear. But he still pushed them a little further, because now wasnât a time for them. Right now, he needed toâŠ
âShinichi?â
And he stopped right there.
That voiceâŠ
His name, with that voice, was enough to make him forget everything else around him. For a moment he thought that his mind is doing tricks, because what were the odds to hear that voice just when those memories were coming back to him, but when he turned around, he saw her. That long, dark-haired woman standing there, those orchid-colored eyes looking like there were tears and lips⊠Those lips turned slowly into that smile. Into that certain smile that had always made his heart race in his chest.
The same smile he had fallen in love with in the first place.
She looked almost the same as five years ago, yet maybe⊠more like a woman.
âRan.â It was the only word that came out of his mouth, and for him, it sounded more like a whisper, but seeing how her smile widened even more, he knew it had been much more. Or maybe she had just read it from his lips?
She let out a laugh and ran towards him. Shinichi smiled while opening his arms, taking only a few steps toward her before she jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He laughed with her, closing her into his embrace as he had done so many times years ago. He felt how she pressed against him, and he smelled that same, familiar scent that had always made him a little bit nervous, and yet, when he closed his eyes, he wanted to drown in it. That scent and warmth were so comfortable and caring, making him feel like⊠home.
And all those memories that he had pushed away, came back to him. He remembered that little girl, tears in her eyes when she had made him a Sakura badge. He remembered all the adventures they had had as a child and how afterward Ranâs mother had scolded them about it. He remembered years in elementary school, he remembered all events from the teen years, all the things they have laughed at, many places where they have visited, many crime scenes that he had wanted to keep her away, many tears she had shed⊠He remembered every time when she had grabbed his arm, he remembered every time they had held each otherâs hands, remembered every kissâŠ
He remembered the night when he had decided to follow those men in black. He remembered how they had made him take the name Edogawa Conan, and he remembered all the lies he had to tell Ran to keep her safe. He remembered her disappointed and betrayed look when he had finally taken down the Organisation and became back to Kudo Shinichi without fearing to lose her or anyone else close to him. He remembered how after some time they had decided to date again and⊠andâŠ
âI canât trust you, Shinichi. Not like⊠before.â
Without realizing it, he tightened his grip around her.
âItâs been yearsâ, he said finally and opened his eyes, ripping himself out of those memories. Even though he still held them as important and dear memories, everything was connected to everything he had done wrong. He hadnât lost only the love of his life for that stupid mistake, but he had also lost his closest and dearest friend too. And even though he had made peace with it, learned to live with it, he had to admit that it hurt. Knowing that he had hurt the one he cared about the mostâŠ
The fact that she never could trust him as before. The fact that there were always hints of doubt.
Scars that he made, but what he couldnât heal.
But that all was in the past. He couldnât chance it. And even though getting over her was painful, seeing her now, looking healthy and fine, he was happy. That had been all he had wished for, that she would be safe and sound, and happy.
âIt really hadâ, he heard her say and sniff while her grip tightened. âWhere have you been, Shinichi? I have been so worriedâŠâ
It made him let out a soft laugh.
You have still been worried?
âGod, Ran, how many times do I have to tell you that you donât have to worry about meâ, he said, feeling somehow nostalgic. Finally, he made her move a little farther so that he could see her face, examined them, andâŠ
She was still beautiful. She looked exactly the same woman that he had loved, the same woman that he had left behind.
The same woman that moved on, while he couldnât.
He observed how Ran opened her mouth, like planning to say something, but then she shut her mouth, looking down with a sad smile. And even though Shinichi couldnât know for sure, he got some kind of feeling that he knew what she would have wanted to say.
âYou havenât called.â
The same phrase he had heard so many times during his being Conan. And now that he thought about it, he could have called her more often back then. But at this point, it didnât matter.Â
But while living in America? How in the world he should have known that Ran still wanted to be in touch with him? In the ensâŠ
âYou left without saying anythingâ, Ran said finally, getting him out of his thoughts. She raised her head, orchid-colored eyes meeting his. âI thoughtâŠ. I thought something terrible happened to you.â
Like in Tropical Land, many years agoâŠ
It surprised him a little bit. After their break-up, Ran was the one who was okay with it. While Shinichi himself tried to patch his broken heart, Ran had been the one who continued her life without a problem and started to go on dates with others.
She had been the one who moved on.
Shinichi had just been stuck in his sorrow, feeling jealous, angry, and sad when he had seen how Ran dated others. Of course, they had greeted each other, talked if being the same group, or met somewhere and had time, but to be honest, for Shinichi, it had looked like they couldnât even patch their relationship back to the same level as it had been before their dating. And it hadnât been a surprise, because she had lost her trust in him. She didnât talk to him as before, they werenât in touch as oftenâŠ
For him, it had looked like she didnât need him in her life anymore. That she hadnât been interested anymore to know what he was doing, how he was doing. And maybe it was only understandable.Â
It had been the reason why he went to America. Well, honestly he hadnât planned to stay there long, only enough to get his thoughts in order without seeing Ran or getting depressed to see her with others. It had been a trip that was meant to give him enough space to heal his wound. But then he got a chance to continue his studies in New York. And after some thinking, he had stayed.
So he hadnât even thought that Ran would be interested to know what he was doing and whatnot, which had been the biggest reason why he hadnât been in touch. And if she really had been that interested, she could have just asked. Even though he had changed his number, there were still ways to make contact. God, if Nakamichi had found his number, why Ran hadnât had?
But he didnât blame her. Almost six years ago, he had known that woman better than anyone else. And if she hadnât changed, he was pretty sure that the only reason why Ran hadnât been in touch with him, is because she hadnât had enough courage to do so.
Thatâs Ran. Always overthinking even the simplest things. Or at least she had used to.
âTo be fair, I didnât know either that I would stay in Americaâ, he answered finally. âI just planned a visit to my parents like a few weeks or something, butâŠâ He chuckled. âWell, I got a chance to transfer my studies and continue in New York, so I stayed.â
In the end, you were the reason why I stayed in Japan in the first placeâŠ
âOhâ, Ran said and frowned. âYou should have⊠I would⊠IâŠâ Then she shut her mouth and looked away.
She genuinely looked melancholic, and it made Shinichi think that maybeâŠ
âShinichi? Who is she?â
Shinichi snapped out of his thoughts and turned to look beside him. Julia stood there, looking curiously at him, then RanâŠ
Oh, he had totally forgotten Julia and his parents!
âOhâ, Shinichi let out, dropping his arms around Ran and taking a step away from her. He wondered how bad it had looked in Juliaâs eyes! He hadnât thought, not at all⊠âOh, sheâŠâ He stopped and reminded himself to use English again, so Julia could understand him. âShe is Mouri Ran, my childhood friend, and⊠my ex-girlfriend.â
Julia's expression brightened. âOh, so this is that Ran you had told me so much?â she asked and sounded excited - a little too excited if someone would ask Shinichi. He followed how she went closer to Ran and offered her hand. âMy name is Julia Williams, Shinichiâs fiancee.â
Nothing happened. Shinichi turned to look at Ran, who just stared at Julia. Her smile had faded a little bit like there was something wrong. Shinichi frowned. But Ran had been good at English back then, why sheâŠ
âJulia, darling, not like thatâ, Shinichi heard his mother's voice, but he still couldnât get his eyes away from Ran, who still stared at Julia with some weird expression. He tried to read it so he could do something to help, but⊠âIn Japan, when we met a new person, we introduce ourselves, and after that, we bow a littleâ, he heard his mother explain, and finally Shinichi turned to look at them when Yukiko put her hand on Juliaâs arm, making her lower it. âAnd it would be more polite to call her Mouri-san or Ran-san.â
âOh!â Julia shouted out and turned to look at Yukiko confused. âBut you always talk about RanâŠâ
âBecause she is our dear family friendâ, she explained gently before turning to Ran. Then Yukiko went to her and grab her into a tight hug, continuing in Japanese. âIt has been years, Ran-chan! How have you been? You look as beautiful as always!â
âIâm fine, Iâm fineâ, Ran laughed and hugged Yukiko back, but Shinichi still could see that something was bothering her, even though she tried to hide it.
âOh, come on, Ran-chan!â, Yukiko laughed and get away from her enough to face her. âYou have to tell me more! What you have done during these years? Do you still live in Beika? Do you have a job? Fiancee? Children?â
âMom!â
Well, it wasnât like this should have been a surprise: His mother had always been curious, and when she opened her mouth, there could come out anything! But Shinichi couldnât help but feel so embarrassed. Why did she need to bluntly ask everything that came to her mind? Wasnât she the one who just a moment ago told Julia to be more polite?
If he would still be on good terms with Ran, this wouldnât be so awkward, but now?
So when Yukiko turned to look at her, like she had done nothing wrong, Shinichi continued: âDonât harass her like that! Itâs not your concernâŠâ
âMou, Shin-chan!â Yukiko said. âBut I want to knowâŠâ
Shinichi rolled his eyes. This wasnât fine! âMaybe Ran tells you if she feels like itâ, he answered.
âItâs okay, Shinichiâ, Ran interrupted, taking his attention. He met her eyes and he knew that she meant it. She had always been kind, it seemed that she still was.
And she had been used to his motherâs curiosity, so that was probably the reason that she didnât mind.
But honestly, the difference from the past was that he wasnât as close to Ran as he used to be. And he didnât want her to bother Ran too much.
But Ran smiled gently when turned back to look at Yukiko. âYes, I still live in Beika and Iâm working the closest kindergarten, and⊠I⊠I live alone.â
âOh, but that sounds goodâ, Yukiko said, yet not as energetic as usual. âThough Iâm sad that you are still singleâŠâ
âMom, noâ, Shinichi interrupted before she would have time start to pry anything more. Again Yukiko turned to look at him and opened her mouth.
âWhat about we continue our way to eat something?â Yusaku interrupted smoothly, making only then Shinichi remember that his father was also there. He glanced at him and saw how looked at Ran, smiling gently. âYou can join us, if you want, Ran-chan. We offer.â
âOh, that would be amazing!â Yukiko shouted out happily, hitting her hands together. âWe offer and meanwhile you can tell us everythingâŠâ
âMomâŠâ Shinichi sighed. Why did his mother need to be like that?
âIâm grateful for the offer, but sadly, I need to be somewhere else soonâ, Ran answered and raised her hand to glance at her wristwatch. And even though it made him happy that his mother wouldnât have a chance to pry anything else, he still felt a little bit disappointed. It would have been nice to catch up with her, after all these years.
Well, maybe he would get that chance at the class reunion.
âOh, thatâs a shameâ, Yukiko muttered. âBut it canât be helpedâŠâ Then she started to smile again. âIs it a date?â
Shinichi rolled his eyes.
âAh, noâ, Ran laughed. âIâm just seeing Sonoko.â
âAhâ, Shinichi let out, remembering that annoyed woman⊠âSheâs still here?â
Ran laughed again. âYes, she still lives here tooâ, she answered, looking at him with that big smile. âShe would be so happy to hear that youâre ba-... in Tokyo. Do I tell your regards to her?â
âPlease, donâtâ, Shinichi answered and grinned. âSomehow my sanity has been so much better when she isnât around.â
God, and now he missed Sonoko too. He had never guessed that there would be a day when he would have been ready to drop everything else just to see Suzuki Sonoko and hear her irritating voice. God, he would have liked to⊠But she probably didnât want to see him. They havenât been in touch either, not after his and Ranâs breakup. Shinichi was pretty sure that Sonoko was on Ranâs side and hated him for breaking Ranâs heart.
Well, he wanted to say that he was the one who got that broken heart, but it wouldnât probably matter. He was the one who had done wrong. But maybe he would get a chance to see her at the class reunion and see how much she would hate him.
But he would never admit to anyone that he missed her. Not even for Ran.
Ran giggled. âWell, that would make her sad, just sayingâ, she said.
Shinichi shrugged. âI doubt that.â
Then there was a silence. Shinichi looked at Ranâs eyes before she dropped them on the ground, looking nervous. And even after years, even though he had been over her, and moved on, seeing that gesture made him feel a little sad. Somehow this moment only proved to him how much he had lost. It had never been this hard for them to say goodbyes.
âWellâ, he started and moved his eyes to Julia, who was observing him. âI think we planned to go to eat?â
âOhâ, Ran let out, making Shinichi look back at her. âOh, yeah, sorry for keeping you! And I believe Sonoko is waiting tooâŠâ
Shinichi nodded. He hated how awkward this was between them.
âIt was so good to see you again, Ran-chanâ, Yukiko said and gave a fast hug to Ran before moving away. âMaybe we should meet before we got back to New York?â
âIt⊠sounds like a good ideaâ, Ran answered with that sweet smile.
âIt was nice to meet you, Ran-sanâ, Julia interrupted in English. âAnd Iâm sorry about earlierâŠâ
âNo, donât worry about it, itâs okayâ, Ran answered now, smiling apologetically. âI just⊠I just was surprised⊠Sorry about that!â
It seemed just to make Julia happy. âDonât worry!â she answered. âAnd⊠I would also love to see you again! Shinichiâs friends are mine too!â
âYeahâ, Ran answered, but somehow it wasnât as bright as the answer for Yukiko. âI would like that.â
Juliaâs smile just widened.
âOkay, maybe we should continueâ, Shinichi said because even though he hadnât seen Ran in years, he still got some kind of feeling that she was a little bit uneasy. âIâm starting to be so hungry.â Then he looked at Ran and smiled. âSee you at the class reunion, right?â
Ran smiled at him, but somehow it seemed sad. âYeah, see you.â
Shinichi nodded before turning. He put his hand on Juliaâs back to push her to move with him.
But even though meeting with Ran had gone well - much better than had thought, and honestly, he hadnât even thought of chatting with Ran even in the class reunion -, something still bothered him. Why Ran had looked a little bit sad? If she hadnât wanted to chat with him, she probably wouldnât have stopped him. But he hadnât blamed her for anything either, right? Or maybe she was just uneasy because it was their first meeting after five years and there were also othersâŠ
âYou have to continue teaching me more Japanese, Shinichiâ, Julia said, snapping him out of his thoughts. He looked at her and saw how those amber-colored eyes looked at him. âI have forgotten the whole thing when we arrived yesterday, and Iâm kind of sad that I couldnât greet your childhood friend correctly!â
âI donât think Ran minds about thatâ, he comforted her. âBesides, I thought you would like to concentrate more on views,â he said and nudged her a little bit. âIn the end, you donât see these every day, but making me teach Japanese to you can happen whenever you want to.â
She pouted. âI know, butâŠâ
âShinichi!â
Shinichi stopped and turned around. Ran was still standing where they had left her, still looking at him. But now she looked a little bit shy. There was a hint of insecurity in her.
âI⊠I wonder⊠Would you like to meet before the class reunion?â she asked before letting out a nervous laugh and looking away. âIf you have time at some point? IâŠâ Then she met his eyes again. âThere are things I would⊠like to clear up between us. If⊠if you want give me a chance, of course.â
And even when she smiled, there was glimmering in her eyes. LikeâŠ
Like he could say no to her. Has he ever? Besides, that is what he would like to do. If it would mean that they could get back even part of the relationship that they had before the Tropical Land, he would do it. Even though they wouldnât love each other as they had, she was still dear to him, and he would give pretty much if she would still be part of his life.
âFine by meâ, he answered finally. âIf you have the same number as before, we can settle where and when, okay?â
A/N: Okay, here is my last entry for ShinRan week! Honestly, this came out to be much longer than I planned, which is the reason why my reread attempts haven't been very good, but I hope this is still enjoyable ^^
This was something I came up with when I told in The Light in My Nightmares chapter 15 how predictable the first Detective Conan live-action movie was. But like said, I also realized that at this point, I have pretty often made Ran to be the damsel in distress, so I decided to fix that! Though because I thought to make one shot, I suffered pretty much with the plot, and now I'm not even sure if I like this, but hey, I did it and this is what it is, so let's go! xD I hope you would still enjoy it!
Also, thanks to everyone for your support during ShinRan week †I'm happy that you have enjoyed my writings (and I have also got to enjoy other's works too! â€).
Detective in distress
Ran was worried. God, she really was even though she probably shouldnât be.
âIdiot. Donât worry about meâ, she could hear Shinichiâs voice in her mind. That sentence she had heard too many times before, but it couldnât be helped. She knew that Shinichi was a known high-school detective who had even taken down that mysterious Black Organisation, which meant that it wasnât that unprecedented that he could have been asked to help with some case.
But he barely ever left during the school day. Usually, after the lessons were over.
And then there was the fact that Ran got that feeling. She couldnât tell why she felt so worried, but somehow, she had a feeling that something had happened to Shinichi. She had had that feeling when he had left, but like always, he had just smiled and told her that there was nothing to worry about, it is going to be just a meeting with someone - a client.
But usually, when she has had that feeling, something terrible has happened.
And it didnât change the fact that Shinichi had been silent the whole morning. Like he had been in his own thoughts. She had thought that there was some case he had been thinking about, but when she had asked about it, he hadnât given her any answer.
And the fact that he just left the school, like that. And that he hadnâtâŠ
âYour husband probably got some kind of caseâ, Sonoko said, taking Ran out of her thoughts. Ran took her eyes off her phone that she had looked at - again. God, only now she realized how obsessive she was about her phone. But it couldnât be helped, she was waiting for an answer from Shinichi. All those messages she had sent after he left three hours ago⊠âAnd now he is too busy to check his phoneâ, Sonoko continued and smiled at her. âSo donât worry because you havenât had any contact with him for a few hours.â
Ran rolled her eyes but looked again at the phone before she made herself shut it. âBut Shinichi has always answered me even if he had a caseâ, she muttered, feeling like Sonoko didnât take her seriously. âBesides, he hadnât answered any of my calls.â
âRanâŠâ
She sighed again and looked at the sky. âI know, he has a bad habit to get too much into cases that he sometimes forgets everything around him, but really, I have the feeling that something bad is happening to him and I canât get rid of it until⊠untilâŠâ
Sonoko didnât say anything, and it was terrible because it made Ranâs thoughts go much further than they should. If something had really happened to him and he couldnât answer to her? Or what if he has gotten into the hospital and was unconscious? Or what if⊠Ran felt something turning on her stomach. What if he had gotten into something similar situation as with the Black Organisation?
But⊠This time, he would tell her, right? He promised.
âRan.â
Ran lowered her head and turned to look at Sonoko. She smiled at her and put both of her hands on her shoulders, squeezing them gently. âI believe he is just into some case and had lost the reality while working on it. There is no way that he would forget you, and I believe that if something would have happened, someone would have informed you.â
Ran looked away. She wanted to believe in it, but stillâŠ
âAnd that feeling⊠Maybe you are just too worried about himâ, Sonoko continued. âI mean⊠I wouldnât be surprised if that Conan thing had just left marks on you, and you are just extra cautious and thinking too much.â
It made Ran sigh. She wanted to argue against it. It had been some time since Shinichi took that organization down and got an antidote that turned him back to Shinichi. And after that, Shinichi had taken care of some cases, and during those times, she hadnât felt this same feeling. Not even though she hadnât been with him, not even though she hadnât got a message or call from him during those casesâŠ
But human psychology was another thing. Maybe there was a chance that Sonoko was right. Maybe this was some kind of trauma that woke up only just now. She had talked about the whole Conan mess with Shinichi and made peace with it, but then again, she was so close to losing him because of that organization and takedown. Maybe the realization of that had just hit her nowâŠ
Though she didnât believe in it. She didnât remember when that feeling had been wrong, butâŠ
Ran shook her head. âYouâre probably rightâ, she agreed finally and looked at Sonoko, trying to smile. âI just worry too much.â
Ranâs smile widened and this time it was genuine. âOh, really?! Of course, we really should check it out!â
âYesh! Letâs meet at six.â
âFine, see you then!â
They said goodbyes and left in their ways. Going to the cafe made Ran feel better. The idea of getting something sweet with good company sounded like something she just needed. But she should tell Shinichi about it. Just so he would know, just in caseâŠ
She took out her phone and opened it. But before she had time to search her conversations with Shinichi, she got a message.
Sadly, it wasnât from Shinichi. And sadly, it made her stop right there. She stared at the message, feeling how her heart sank. She felt cold and worried. She felt desperate. She wanted to turn on someone, but she couldnât do it. She was too afraid to do so.
She just looked at that unknown number hoping to get any idea who it would belong to, and then she read again that message, which made her shiver.
Dearest Mouri Ran.
I got something that you consider dearest to you. If you want to see your beloved Kudo Shinichi ever again, meet me at Tokyoâs sports hall as soon as you can. And if you want to see him alive, come alone. We have so much to talk about.
With love, your biggest fan.
She came to the sports hall as soon as possible. She had run the whole trip as fast as she could, so when she got to the parking space, she needed to stop for a moment, lean on her knees, and take some breaths to calm down. Though it felt so worthless because she was so worried about Shinichi that she felt like there was no time to stop. She felt tears burning in her eyes when she straightened up and looked at the big building in front of her. The same building where Shinichi and her biggest fan should be.
But it looked so dark and empty, and that made something twitch in Ranâs stomach. She looked around, hoping to find out any clue that someone was there, but it was hard to believe. There was nothing. But this was Tokyoâs sports hall! So where are they? Had she been led wrong?Â
But she needed to calm down. With panic, she wouldnât help anyone. Not herself, not Shinichi.
Her biggest fan wouldnât gain anything by lying to her. If they would want to get rid of Shinichi, why would they waste their own time contacting Ran? Well, to be honest, if this âBiggest fanâ would have wanted to talk to her, why they couldnât just ask? Why take a hostage?
Ran shook her head. Now wasnât the time! She should check those doors and get in.
She ran to the front doors and tried it. Both of them were locked. She glanced at the inside from the glass, and it still looked desolated, like there was no one. There was only a big, dark lobby where she had been many times while coming to the tournament. Back then, there had been lights on and so many people, so it was pretty weird to see it this empty.
But it wasnât the reason why she was there. And if her biggest fan wanted to keep this a secret, then there was even no reason to put every light on.
She let out a sigh. Well, she should try other doors.
She ran to the next one and tried it, but it was locked. And the next one too. Ran started to feel frustrated. What was this? Why any of these doors werenât open if there should be someone inside? Of course, she knew that whoever would be inside, could always lock the door, but still, if they wanted to talk to her⊠She ran to the next one, which said, âStaff onlyâ and tugged it.
It opened.
With surprise, she just stood there for a moment, just staring at the door. Well, she had known that some of them must be open if she had been invited, but stillâŠ
She felt anxious. It felt a little bit scary to go inside. She didnât know at all what there was waiting for her, and to be honest, even the thought about Shinichi, being somewhere in there, maybe in bad shapeâŠ
But it was the reason why she needed to move on. Because he needed her!
Ran stepped inside and slammed the door shut behind her. She was pretty sure that she would find Shinichi and this biggest fan from the biggest gymnasium that was the center of this building - the place where people gathered in the stands to watch all kinds of sports matches, the place where many people around Japan came to compete who would be the best team or individual every year.
But who was her biggest fan?
Ran had thought about it on her way here, trying to figure out who this could be, but she hadnât got anyone in her mind. To be honest, she couldnât figure out anyone who could have gotten better of Shinichi. He seemed always being aware of his surrounding, it was hard to try to surprise him. But this one had gotten him. If this fan was someone close to him or her, it would explain why Shinichi probably hadnât waited for anything to happen but Ran still couldnât figure out who it could be. And if someone would have just wanted to get rid of him, she didnât believe that this fan would have bothered to include her in it.
Part of her kind of wished that it would be Shinichi, but part of her knew that Shinichi wouldnât call himself her biggest fan, and to be honest, even this would go too far from him. He would never make jokes about something like this and made her worried without reason. Right? Though she could also imagine how she would enter the gymnasium and he would be there waiting for her like nothing had happened and probably would laugh at her worryâŠ
If he was behind this, she really hoped for his sake that he has a good reason for this.
Ran came to the big doorway and slowed her steps. In front of her were doors that lead her to the short aisle that those grandstands made. She felt nervous, yet she slowly grabbed the handle and after bracing herself to encounter whatever behind those doors waited, she pressed it down and carefully opened the door.
There was light, but she didnât see anyone. But she couldnât even see the whole hall from the doorway, so she stepped inside and closed the door. Slowly she walked that short aisle, seeing more of the hallâŠ
And then she saw it. Someone lying on the floor on their side, but Ran didnât need much to recognize them. Him.
âShinichiâŠâ
She let her school bag drop on the floor, making a loud noise. It felt hard to make her feet move, but when she did, she ran toward him. She dropped to her knees beside him, bending over him to see his face. His expression looked painful, but she couldnât find any visible harm in him. His school uniform looked a little bit messy, likeâŠ
Had he been in a fight? But if so, then with whom?
âShinichi?â she called him, bending a little bit closer. Carefully she touched his face, and almost at the same time, he grimaced. Ran touched his hair, moving them from his forehead when he turned his head a little bit, opening his other eye to look at herâŠ
And something twisted on Ranâs stomach. He was hurt.
âRa... Ran?â He let out with a hoarse voice. Then he let out a cough that looked so painful. âWhat⊠what are you doing here?â
âI could ask the same from youâ, Ran answered gently, checking him again, trying to understand what had happened to him, but⊠âWhat happened to you? Whatâs wrong?â
âIâŠâ
âFinally, I got your attention, Ran-chan.â
Ran felt shivering on her back. That voiceâŠ
Slowly Ran turned to look behind her. On the door, between grandstands, stood a man. Ran felt something tighten on her chest.
And somehow everything started to be clear to her. Everything started to make sense. And she started to blame herself for being so blind and stupid. She should have guessed this, but she hadnât. How? How in the world she hadnât thought?
âOkawa-sanâ, she breathed out and turned a little bit to see him better. She didnât let go of Shinichi, but her eyes stayed on the black-haired man who was a few years older than she. The worry started slowly turn to anger. âWhatâs the meaning of this?â
He smiled sweetly. That stupid, boyish smile that made him look so sweet, so nice, so kind⊠It almost made her forget everything, almost made her think that maybe she was wrong, maybe this was some kind of misunderstanding, but she threw that idea away. She knew better.
âI just wanted to talk to you.â
Okawa Takehiko. Ran had met him for the first time two months ago. Truth be told, she had always been aware of him since he was a karateka. He had been part of a competition in the menâs group, so Ran hadnât had many chances to meet him personally, but she had seen his matches, and he had always been victorious. Though Ran was sure that Makoto would win if there would be a match between the two of them.
The only problem had been Shinichi. After she had told him about the meeting, he had become in a bad mood. They have fought it. Shinichi had claimed that Takehiko wanted to date her. Ran had told him that he was just ridiculous and jealous, and⊠Well, since none of them admitted being wrong, she had left with a fury. Like she wanted to be with that stupid detective anyway!
They had made peace on next day. But Shinichi hadnât given up on the story that he had met Takehiko before and he had asked Shinichi if he could take Ran on a date. That had been the stupid thing that Ran had ever heard. Like who in the world would be bold enough to ask someoneâs girlfriend on a date? Not Takehiko. He had been so nice and kind to her, and Ran had told him that she had a boyfriend. Besides, even if that would be true, why he would have asked about it from Shinichi? Isnât she the one who would make that decision? Well, she wouldnât leave Shinichi for someone else (and she told him that), but still, she had thought that Shinichi was just too jealous.
So, she met Takehiko some more times. And why not? He had been nice, kind, cheerful, positive, joking, and they shared so many same interests. Since they were both karatekas, he shared the same knowledge as she did. It was so refreshing to talk about their idols, other karatekas, tactics, moves, matches, and what else. Of course, she had talked about those things with Shinichi, but it wasnât a secret that Shinichiâs knowledge wasnât much. He hadnât the same interest as her, even though he always listened and asked some questions if he didnât know. The discussion wasnât as deep as with Takehiko.
She didnât mind having more friends, even though Shinichi had shown a long face every time she had told him that she is going to meet Takehiko. But at least he hadnât tried to stop her, and she respected that. Like⊠Why couldnât she have more friends? It wasnât like she had been jealous every time Shinichi had had a woman as a client! And besides, she had never said that Shinichi couldnât join them! Maybe she should ask Takehiko if Shinichi could join them next time. Then Shinichi would see that Takehiko was a nice guy!
But then it changed. Takehiko had asked her for the finest restaurant, and even though the idea had been nice, it made Ran feel slightly uneasy. Well, first of all, it had been the same restaurant where Shinichi had taken her after that school play some time ago. The place where - she later heard about it - he had tried to confess to her. The same restaurant where Kudo Yusaku had proposed Fujimine Yukiko. It felt like she would betray Shinichi if she would go there with someone else.
And the second thing was that it was a fine and expensive restaurant. Ran believed that no one took just a friend there, promising to pay for everything. She had felt like it wasnât okay. Somehow it had started to feel like there was something more behind this, but she hadnât dared to assume anything. In the end, there had been a possibility that she was just overthinking.
So, she declined. She had explained that this certain restaurant held some meaning for her and Shinichi and that she would feel like betraying her boyfriend if they would go there. It had been scary and made her nervous, but Takehiko was nice. He would understand and respect her for that.
Except things hadnât gone as she had hoped for.
Because she had gotten an answer where he had admitted that he had a crush on her and wanted so badly to take her out.
Ran had been a little bit shocked. Maybe she shouldnât have been, because in the end, Shinichi had said that Takehiko wanted to take her on a date, but⊠still. She hadnât believed in that at all.
She had turned him down nicely. She had told that he had been brave to tell her, but she already had a boyfriend. Ran had thought that he would have been sad and probably answered something like âpityâ before letting her be, but instead, she had gotten a message where he had just told her that she should give him a chance and see if he would be a better one. Again, Ran declined and explained that it wouldnât be fair for Shinichi and she would still feel like she was betraying him if she would accept. But she hadnât got the understanding that she had hoped for. Instead, Takehiko had continued insisting. Message after another he tried to convince her to go out with her, and every time she told him that she loved Shinichi more than anything else, and after getting enough, she told him that he would be nothing like Shinichi and asked to leave her alone before blocking his number.
It had been something she had never done to anyone. And even if it had been the right thing to do, she had felt a little bit bad for Takehiko. And even if that hadnât been enough, she also felt bad because all this time, she had thought that Shinichi had been jealous for nothing. They had even fought about it, and now she needed to admit to him that she had been wrong all the time and apologize. She told him everything.
But instead of making fun of her, telling her something like: âI told youâ, he had just thanked her for being honest and took her into his arms, giving her a warm and soothing hug. Ran had felt bad for doubting him, but luckily, he wasnât mad about it.
Then, after a few days, Takehiko appeared behind her door. Luckily her father had been at home and been the one who had opened it. Ran had recognized Takehikoâs voice and with a panic, hide in the kitchen. She regretted now that she hadnât told her father about Takehiko, and now all she could do was hope that her father wouldnât let him in if he would claim to be Ranâs friend or somethingâŠ
But luck had been on her side. Takehiko had been so confident that when her father had asked who the hell Takehiko was, he had introduced himself as Kogoroâs future son-in-law. There had been a long silence before her father announced that he had already one future son-in-law, so he didnât need another one and shut the door, leaving Takehiko outside.
Ran had been so grateful, but the aftermath had been so awkward. Of course, when they finally ate their dinner, her father asked about that man. Ran hadnât had any other choice but to explain the situation to him. But when he asked if Shinichi knew about this âother boyâ, Ran exploded. God, what her father was even thinking? Did he really think that she was cheating on Shinichi with someone else?! She had shouted at him, asking him how in the world he even dared to suggest something like that! Of course, right after that she had felt that she had been so unfair. She had been just so shocked and stressed out about the situation, and deep down she knew that her father had meant well and wanted to make sure that everything between her and Shinichi was okay.
The last straw had happened a little over a week ago at school. Out of nowhere, Takehiko appeared at Teitan High School. Luckily Ran had missed him and successfully avoided him even though he had just walked around the school, asking everyone where he could find Ran. And luckily this school and her classmates had been on her and Shinichiâs side. Sonoko had informed Ran that she had done everything that Takehiko wouldnât bump into her or Shinichi while searching the school, and she knew to tell that even though she had planned to instruct their classmates not to tell anything, it seemed that without a word, they had shown their support to Shinichi and Ran. When Takehiko had asked, they had just told him that Ran was dating Shinichi and they were meant to be, so he wouldnât have a chance, whatever he would do. It had made Ran blush deeply, but she had been so grateful. If her words didnât mean anything to him, she hoped that hearing that from outsidersâ mouths would make him realize that she was serious and wouldnât go out with him.
But even though the girls had taken the situation seriously and comforted her and Shinichi about it, some of the boys didnât take it as seriously. It seemed that as soon as they got a chance, they started to joke about Ran having another man or Shinichi having a competitor that he should be careful of. In another situation she would have probably laughed, but this? No, this wasnât even fun anymore! And when she had glanced at Shinichi⊠God, he had always laughed with others, joked back, but this time? He had just made that forced smile before turning away without saying anything.
This all had made her wonder how much this situation had tested their relationship. It was true that their love had survived probably much harder situations than this, but she couldnât lie: Seeing Shinichi as that had hurt her. She hated to see him hurt because of this. And it hadnât helped that after that day when they were finally heading home, she had opened her locker and found out all the gifts, flowers, and a letter that Takehiko had left her. It had been embarrassing, knowing that Shinichi saw that all⊠But it hadnât been her fault. And like his locker hadnât ever been full of gifts and love letters! But he hadnât said anything, just helped her to throw them in the trash can. Yeah, she had felt bad for doing so, wasting someoneâs money and time, but she didnât want them.
And thatâs why she felt now foolish. She should have guessed that it was Takehiko who would call himself her biggest fan. Of course, he would be the one who would approach Shinichi and hurt him just to make sure to get in touch with her. Though she still couldnât understand why. She had told him that she loved Shinichi and she wouldnât leave him for Takehiko. Why make everything just harder? Why couldnât he respect her and leave them alone?
God, this was enough. She had been patient with him, but this time he had gone too far.
âIf you wanted to talk to me, you should have just askedâ, she said angrily and glanced at Shinichi who tried to push himself onto his knees. It seemed so painful and Ran got her arms around him just to give him some support. âBut thisâ, she continued and glanced at Takehiko. âWhy?â
She saw how he glanced at Shinichi. âHe would be only in a wayâ, Takehiko answered finally and smiled â that sweet, boyish smile, and somehow Ran didnât like it as much as she did before. âHe is just beaten, nothing serious.â
âJust beaten?â Ran repeated shocked and turned to look at Shinichi again. She couldnât see his face, but she heard how he breathed heavily, like every move he made hurt him and took much more energy than usual. âIt isnât just beaten up! You have hurt him!â
âI didnât have a choiceâ, Takehiko answered. âHe didnât agree to break up with you.â
Ran felt like her blood was boiling. All this for what?! âThen maybe you should stop harassing meâ, she said, trying still to keep herself as calm as possible. Even though she wanted to go and beat that man up - he had done that to Shinichi too -, she tried to reason to herself that if they would just talk about this, maybe he would understand and leave them be. âHe isnât breaking up with me, Iâm not going to break up with him, and Iâm not going to cheat him. So, I donât understand why you canât respect it and let us be.â
Takehiko looked puzzled, but when Shinichi let out a grunt, Ran turned her eyes to him. She had enough time to catch him before he collapsed back to the floor. She wrapped her arms better around him, pulling him closer to her and giving him a place to rest. He let out a silent curse on her arms, leaning on her as if he had already given his all. And it made Ran so sad. The last time she had seen Shinichi in this bad shape, had been when they took down the organization. And like back then, this felt unbearable! Usually, nothing took Shinichi down, not this badly.
No one hurt her Shinichi. No one.
Yet, here he was, trying to pull himself up, and yet failingâŠ
âWhat you see in him?â
Ran tightened her arms around Shinichi and turned to look at Takehiko. He just stared at Shinichi blankly.
âWhat?â
âWhat you see in him?â Takehiko repeated, raising his eyes at her. âWhat is so great in him?â
Ran closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, trying to calm herself even a little.Â
How dare he even question?
âThe list is longâ, she said harshly, opening her eyes and looking at Takehiko. âBut Iâm not sure if a selfish person like you could understand.â
âA selfish person?â Takehiko repeated, looking confused. âIâm thinking of you! A girl like you need a strong man beside you, not that weakling who canât even fight for youâŠâ
Ran frowned and opened her mouth.
âFighting for her?â
Ran shut her mouth and looked at Shinichi, who let out a toxic laugh and raised himself on her arms enough to face Takehiko, yet she felt how he leaned his head against her chest. âI would always fight for her. But fighting about her? That, I canât do.â
ShinichiâŠ
Takehiko let out hum. âAnd that makes me think that you arenât worthy of herâ, he said. âYou arenât ready to fightâŠâ
âBecause the problem is, you think of her as an itemâ, Shinichi interrupted. âThe problem⊠The problem is that she is an individual human. She can think and feel herself; she made all the decisions that are about herself. And thatâs why⊠Thatâs why I didnât accept your challenge. Because if you want to go out with her, you must ask her, not me. As much as I hate the thought, I donât own her. I canât decide anything for her. And whatever she chooses, I must respect it.â
âWait!â Ran shouted out, even though her heart was melting at his words, knowing how much he was respecting her, but... âA challenge?â she repeated.
âYeahâ, Takehiko answered. âI challenged him: If I win, he will break up with you and I could have taken you on a dateâ, he explained. âBut that coward declined.â
âSo, you attacked him?â
âI wouldnât say thatâ, Takehiko said. âHe got a chance, but he didnât fight back.â He shrugged. âShows how weak he really is, didnât even tryâŠâ
Ran closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Calm down, donât do anything irresponsible, she told herself, and yet, the storm was already thundering inside her.
How dare he? How in the world did he dare to attack Shinichi if he didnât fight back? God, she just wanted to stand up, and⊠andâŠ
Maybe she should do that. She would. Not herself, but she was so furious about Shinichi that she would. No one, ever, treats Shinichi like that. Not as long as she lived.
âFineâ, she said finally and opened her eyes. âLetâs fight. Karateka versus karateka.â
âRan, donâtâ, Shinichi hissed, making Ran look at him. âHe⊠he is strong, andâŠâ
âDonât worryâ, she said gently, smiling at him. âIâm going to be stronger.â
âRanâŠâ
âNo one treats you like this and gets away with itâ, she said and bent over enough to press a kiss on his hair. Even though it had been only hours since she had seen him last time, she wanted so badly just to hide her face in his hair and just hold him in her arms, but⊠She straightened herself. âJust rest hereâ, she said and carefully let go of him before standing up and turning to look at Takehiko.
âWhen I win, you leave me and Shinichi alone. Periodâ, she said and took her school uniform jacket away, letting it drop on the floor. She knew already that fighting in a school uniform will be hard, but she wouldnât let it slow her down.
âBeating up a girl?â Takehiko asked, looking a little bit troubled. âI donât know, Ran-chanâŠâ
âDonât worry about meâ, she said, feeling anger burning inside her. âI donât need your pity. Give it all or go home.â
His expression changed. âYou canât beat meâ, he said.
Ran smiled. âThen, easy win for youâ, she hissed, taking her position, ready for anything. Her anger just raised while looking at how Takehiko hesitated. She hated that he thought that she was made from porcelain and would break as soon as he would touch her.
She was much more than just that.
âSoâŠâ Takehiko started finally. âWhen I win, will you go out with me?â
âFineâ, Ran answered. She just stared at Takehiko, how he still stared at her like making sure that she was serious. Finally, he let out a sigh and started to look like he was ready.
âReady?â
Ran nodded. Oh, she really waited for thisâŠ
He made the first move, and she blocked it. The dance was on. He was fast with his movements and hits and kicks. Even though Ran had thought to be ready for this challenge, she somehow found it hard to keep up with him. In most of his attacks, she got blocked just in time, but even still some of them got through.
She couldnât feel desperate right now. But she surely needed a little bit more room. So as soon as she got an open spot, she blocked another hit and moves a little bit away from him.
Okay, he hadnât kidding her. Only now she realized how much in trouble she might be. It wasnât like she hadnât met strong opponents, and to be honest, she had thought that Shinichi had been just overprotective while warning about Takehiko's strength, but no kidding, while dodging all those hits and kicks, she already felt them in her bones.
It was no wonder anymore that Shinichi was in bad shape. Ran had trained Shinichi to be a good dodger, thanks to her hits and kicks from time to time, but even though he was fast and good dodge those hits, with Takehikoâs strengthâŠ
Ran took another hit from Takehiko. She let out a cry but still was able to move aside again. God, she really needed to start taking over the situation. She needed to keep herself calm enough to concentrate and stop doing anything stupid, but still, something to keep her strength on and make him lose his defense. She wondered if she could kick him hard enough to break through.
Takehiko stopped. âYou know, itâs okay to say you loseâ, he said. âI donât want to hurt you.â
Ran let out a laugh. âYou beat me as badly as you did with Shinichi. Until Iâm in the same shape as him, I havenât lostâ, she split.
Actually, those words were all she needed. It made her rage raise. She didnât need his pity! Besides, when she remembered how badly he had treated Shinichi⊠She felt like it had just lightened her anger up.
Yeah! It was now or never if she wanted to win.
She ran to Takehiko, starting to attack him. He was taken aback but was fast blocking her hit and kicks. Yet she didnât let it discourage her! She just danced around him, trying to find his weakness, finding even that one little spot to hit and make him fall. It maybe felt impossible but thatâs how karate champions were. They were good, the best of them all.
But she would do that. She would tire him until he would slip, and when he would, Ran would hit that spot and end him.
âYou are going just tire yourself, Ran-chanâ, Takehiko breathed out while blocking her attacks. Ran held her mouth shut, ignoring him. She wouldnât let him get the better of her. Instead, she just kept tightly of her anger and confidence to keep them together. She is going to win. The loss wasnât an opinion, not with him.
She had taken down much worse opponents too. So, she could win him too, right? Right?!
No, there was no room for doubts. She brought back everything she didnât like in Takehiko, reminded herself how selfish and stubborn he was, how he didnât respect her or Shinichi at all. How badly he had treated Shinichi, what he had done to himâŠ
And she thought about Shinichi.
She will win.
She hit harder, kicked harder, and moved faster, which seemed to confuse Takehiko a little bit. She continued until she saw how his defense got a crack and showed the spot. Ran hit. She gave her everything for that hit. It took Takehiko off guard, but Ran didnât show mercy. While Takehiko was still recovering from her hit, she made another. He couldnât rebuild his defense, Ran didnât let him. She gave her all, making sure that this man would be on the ground, feeling the same painâŠ
And then he collapsed. Ran took a step aside but kept still in her position, ready for anything. She had learned not to trust anyone in the fight, not even though they would be on the ground, looking like they had enough.
But Takehiko looked like she had gotten the better of him. He just looked on the ground, leaning on his hands, breathing heavily.
And Ran waited, saying nothing, holding her fighting spirit.
âYou⊠you really are a hard opponentâ, he said finally and raised his head a little bit to look at her. âI was so sure that you wouldnât have a chance against me.â
Ran frowned but held her mouth shut. Somehow those words made her just angry. But then again, he got what he deserved! She wouldnât admit to him that he had been a hard opponent, not even though it would be probably polite. She felt a little pain everywhere, and she was sure that her body would be full of bruises and aching in the evening, but they would be worth it.
But she wouldnât say anything about that to Takehiko.
âGet upâ, she said instead. âLetâs get this done. I donât have the whole day.â
God, she wanted so badly to go back to Shinichi. She wanted so badly to take him home and made sure he was okayâŠ
She wanted so badly to get over this.
âYou are so coldâ, Takehiko said and looked a little sad even though he smiled. âYou love him that much?â
âMore than anythingâ, Ran answered without hesitation. âAnd I donât take lightly anyone who treats him like that.â
He let out a hum. âSo, would you tell me⊠What is so great in him?â
Ran eyed him, still wondering if she should tell him, but at the same time, she was a little bit afraid that this was his way to try to soften her and when she would be off track, he would attack.
âHe is everything that you arenâtâ, she answered finally. âAnd even though I would explain, you wouldnât understand.â
âAre you sure about that?â
âI amâ, she answered right away. âAnd I would choose him all over again.â
âAlways?â
âAlways.â
He just stared at her. It felt like forever but Ran kept staring back. Then he closed his eyes and let out a laugh before getting himself up, with a painful grimace on his face. Ran felt bad, but somehow, she felt satisfied. She hoped that he would feel as bad as Shinichi, but seeing how he got himself upâŠ
âThen I think I have to admit my lossâ, he said finally. He looked at the floor. âItâs hard to admit, but it seems that I canât have a girl Iâm in love with.â
Did he try to make her feel bad, after everything he had done?! Well, to be honest, Ran felt, but she tried to move it aside because she still believed that Takehiko had made much more trouble than this case was worth. And there were so many things that she would have liked to say about love. How his love was more like an obsession and how the best way to show love is to let her be with the one she loves and accept it. Let her be with Shinichi and stop harassing them.
But maybe she wasnât the one who should give pieces of advice to those who had broken hearts. In the end, her feelings had been returned. Even though their relationship hadnât been always easy, she believed that every relationship got good and bad times. But she couldnât really understand those who had been turned down by their crush. She could only guess, but she didnât know how it felt. And maybe those words wouldnât mean anything to him at this point.
God, Ran, donât let your guard down. Not yet!
âI⊠WellâŠâ He looked bothered. âIâm⊠Iâm sorry for all the trouble.â
Just sorry?! God, Ran wanted to tell him that this wasnât even good enough! She wanted to make him go apologies to Shinichi personally, but part of her didnât want to let him close to him. Not after this. Besides, right now she just wanted to get rid of him. Rid of this whole mess. âJust promise to leave us aloneâ, Ran said finally.
âI⊠willâ, he promised. Then he smiled that boyish smile and looked at her. âBut I hope we can exercise sometime together. It would be interesting to spar with someone who has a chance against me.â
Ran got a little mixed feeling about this. She hated how full of himself he was about his karate skills, but⊠She had to admit, his request was something she would have liked to consider. But right now, after everything?
âWe will see about that laterâ, Ran just answered. âAnd thatâs the answer you have to accept because right now Iâm so mad that I donât want to see you ever againâ, she continued.
He looked sad but nodded before turning and walking slowly to the door. In silence, she just followed him with her gaze, making sure that he went to the door, opened it, and disappeared. And didnât come back.
Only after that Ran relaxed. Slowly she turned to look at Shinichi, who sat just where she had left him, but still looked like he was having a hard time.
Ran walked to him, feeling already her body aching, but she ignored it.
âHeyâ, she said when stopped beside him, crouching. âHow are you feeling?â
Shinichi raised his head, looking at her. âHave been better, to be honestâ, he admitted. Then he looked down and Ran saw how he held his side. âI thought I can take much pain, thanks to your thigh grips and hard kicks and hits, butâŠâ He let out a laugh. âHe was something else.â
Ran eyed at him, worried. Somehow all the anger had melted away already, and worry had come back. âDid he ask you to come here?â she asked.
âYeahâ, he answered. âHe wanted to see me, and part of me didnât want to, but I also thought that maybe this would be a good opportunity to talk about the situation and make him leave you be. ButâŠâ He let out a sigh. âHe didnât buy it. Instead, he was sure that he would be a better boyfriend to you and that Iâm just an obstacle to getting you on a date. So, he wanted to challenge me.â Then he met her eyes, smiling weakly. âAnd the rest you know.â
âYou should have fought backâ, Ran said, raising her hand on his hair, feeling those on her fingersâŠ
He let out a laugh. âDo I look like I would have won?â he asked.
He wasnât wrong, but⊠âBut you could have dodged and done something to winâ, she said. She smiled. âYou have always found a way to win, I donât know how he would be any different.â
Shinichi shook his head and looked away. âI dodged him, but he wasnât as gentle with me as you have been. So as much as I dodged and blocked, he got better on me.â
Ran still had a hard time believing that there was someone who had got Shinichi like this. Never happened before. But maybe he hadnât met too many karatekas who would have wanted to fight with him. And even if he had, then Ran had stepped between them.
Maybe she should teach Shinichi some karate moves. As a self-defense.
âCan you get up?â she asked and straightened herself, offering her hand to him. âI would love to get out of here and get finally at home.â
âSameâ, Shinichi agreed and grabbed her hand. He tried to push himself up, but the pain took over and make him stop. She offered her other arm, helping him stand up slowly. When she had made sure that he could stand by himself without falling, she let go of him for a moment to gather all their things. He took his school bag from her hands, and after Ran put her jacket on her, she put his arm around her shoulder and wrapped her arm around his back to support him.
Her school bag was still close to the door, but she would get it when they would pass by.
After calming his breath, he let out a laugh. âIs this how it feels?â he asked, looking at her with that sparkle in his eyes. âBeing a damsel in distress?â
Somehow, it made Ran smile. âHopefully notâ, she answered. âYou look so much in pain that I hope other damsels in distress arenât in that bad shape.â
âHuhâ, he answered, taking slow steps to the door with her. âWell, I think I always want to do everything the hard way.â
Ran giggled. âI feel like you doâ, she admitted. âEven though you could save me from so much worry by taking that easy and safer way, you know.â
He shrugged a little bit, as much as he could. âBut at least my savior is beautiful and braveâ, he continued, making Ran blush. âI think this all was worth it.â
Ran shook her head with a smile. âYou are an idiot, you know that?â
A/N: Now I can imagine how other ShinRan week mods are looking this like: âSubbe, what the heck?!â xD When we wrote the Anniversary description, I whined a little bit that why Anniversary needs to mean only Wedding Anniversary. Donât get me wrong, wedding things are cute, and when we talk about anniversaries, the wedding is the common one. But personally, I just like that prompts have many possibilities.
But luckily, I never said that I donât want to write about it myself! Because two weeks ago I got this idea when thinking about ShinRanâs family life, and since I couldnât get rid of it, I decided that I need to write this for ShinRan week :âD I hope you enjoy this ^^
Like in the Old Days
It was beginning of the April. It was that certain time of the year when Sakura flowers were most beautiful. Shinichi looked at them, those small, pink flowers, and followed how some of them were slowly falling on the ground.
They were so special to him. Only just seeing them made him feel so nostalgic. They had always made him feel so, every time, year after year.
She had made a Sakura badge when they first met. She had smiled at him for the first time while offering that badge to him. The badge where she had written his name.
Ran loved them too. He knew that those flowers were special to her too. Even though he knew that she had hated him when they first met, he also knew that she remembered all those nice and warm memories when Sakura flowers were blooming.
It had always been their flower.
Sakura flowers had also been the theme of their wedding. When they had planned their wedding, Shinichi had hinted that wouldnât it be beautiful to be married under Sakura trees. Of course, he hadnât admitted anything when Ran had smiled mischievously and asked about it. âDonât you just love them?â Shinichi had asked back then and left. But when he had thought about what Sakura flowers meant for them⊠Wouldnât it be a perfect symbol for their wedding?
Call him sensitive, but Ran had agreed. And they had had their wedding at the beginning of April, under the Sakura trees.
Many years ago.
He felt how someone sat beside him. Shinichi turned to look at the woman, his wife, who just turned to look at him with that gentle smile. Like she always did, she slowly wrapped her arms around his, her right hand touching his hand that rested on his knee, fingers gently touching his.
âWhat are you thinking?â Ran asked. He felt how her fingers petted his, like asking for attention. Slowly Shinichi raised them, letting them wrap together - like they always did. Like it should be.
âNothing interestingâ, he answered and raised his head, looking at those little pink flowers. âJust looking at themâŠâ
He heard how Ran let out a little, gentle laugh. âIt feels still weirdâ, she said. âItâs still so hard to believe that itâs our sixtieth wedding anniversary.â
Shinichi turned to look at his wife. Once that long, dark brown hair was now a little shorter and white. These days her movements were slower than back then, and when she turned to look at him, there were some wrinkles on her face, telling the story of past years, and yetâŠ
And yet, she was the same girl that he had fallen in love with many years ago. He could see all the same features in her, those orchid-colored eyes hadnât lost their shining, her smile was as breathtaking as in the first time she had smiled at him, her touch still so gentle and lovedâŠ
She was still the most beautiful woman in the world.
âYeah, it isâ, he said finally and grinned. âAny regrets for being Mrs. Kudo this long?â
She let out a giggle. âWell, I would have probably aged much better with someone elseâ, she said mischievously.
Shinichi shrugged. âThat would probably be trueâ, he admitted and looked away.
He felt how she leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder, tightening her grip around his arm. Well, if something had changed, it was the strength of her grip. She couldnât squeeze his arm as tightly as she had when they have been younger, but to be honest, he still got bruises. But he didnât mind, because they were a cheap price for keeping her close, and besides, they reminded him of those times when Ran had been scared and squeezed his arm so tightly that it hurt. Hah, he could still almost feel it.
âBut I donât regret anythingâ, she said finally. âI wouldnât change anything.â She kept a little pause before continuing: âOur life has been perfect.â
âPerfect?â Shinichi repeated and looked at her even though he couldnât see anything else than those white hair. âEven the Conan thing? Even though I have been a murder magnet? Even thoughâŠâ He kept a little pause. âEven though I have made you worried so many times?â
âWe have gone through so much together, Shinichiâ, she answered and raised herself to look at him with that gentle and soft expression. âEven though everything hadnât been a bed of roses, we have so many good things too. Like our children and grandchildrenâŠâ Shinichi looked away. âAnd as long as I love you, I would always be worried about you. As much as Iâm sometimes worried about our children and grandchildren too. As are youâ, she continued. âAnd even though you donât ever admit it, I know I have made you worry too.â
Of course, he wonât! He would never let her feel guilty about it!
âI think our life has been perfectâ, she continued. âI wouldnât change you or this life for anything. I would go through everything again if it would mean that I could be with you.â
Even though he had known it, it made him feel warm. Loved.
âI knowâ, he said finally and turned to look at her. âEven though I have always hated to bring pain to youâŠâ He looked at their fingers, tangled together. âIâm the luckiest guy in the world. Meeting you, having a woman who had waited patiently and forgiven me and looked after me sixty yearsâŠâ
Ran let out a laugh. âCome on, Shinichi. Sixty years looking after you isnât even enough.â
Shinichi smiled and met her eyes. âFine. Seventy-eight years.â
She laughed. âThat sounded more accurateâ, she said and leaned her head again against his shoulder. âI started to be worried that your memory is starting to fail you.â
Shinichi smiled and finally lowered his head, letting it rest against Ranâs hair, feeling how it tickled his cheek - like many times before. But like after all these years, he still felt comfortable there, being close to her. The only place that he felt belonged. He didnât even care if everything would have gone worse in their life - even if they would have been poor, wouldnât have gotten family or really anything - as long as he would have Ran, it would have been enough.
And the older they had gotten, the more Shinichi has started to feel anxious. He wasnât afraid of death. Everyone would face it sooner or later. And people had joked that the death would just be happy to finally get him. In the end - he admitted it himself - he had cheated death so many times. But the thought that Ran would leave before himâŠ
He knew he shouldnât think about it too much, just live day after day like always. But he couldnât help the thought of life without Ran. Somehow it felt so impossible, something that he would never get over.
His life would end with Ranâs.
And he pushed the thought away from his mind. He should just enjoy the time they still have, and even though he should maybe talk about it with Ran, the day wasnât today. In the end, it was their sixtieth wedding anniversary. He wouldnât ruin it.
He had ruined already too many dates, birthdays, and anniversaries before that it made him sometimes wonder how in the world he was still married to the love of his life. But Ran had always been like that. She had never been too bothered about it. If something, she had just supported him to solve those cases. Even though she had told him many times that being a detective was a dangerous job, she still supported and cheered for him.
She was great like that.
âYou know I love you?â he asked finally before turning his head to press a kiss on her white hair. âMore than anything else?â
He moved his head when Ran moved away. She raised her face at him, those beautiful eyes glimmering, a gentle smile on her lips. âI knowâ, she answered. âAnd I hope you know that I love you too.â
Shinichi smiled and lowered his head a little to press his lips against hers. A light, slow kiss, full of love. Then their lips parted away, and Ran pressed her cheek against his. The gesture was soft and careful, probably an attempt to avoid moving his eyeglasses and making them press against his temple.
Well, they moved still, but he didnât mind.
âThat almost makes me want to ask whatâs into your mind since you have to askâ, he heard her say gently. That was so terrifying in her. She always seemed to know when something was bothering him. But at the same time, he was grateful that she let him choose to tell if he felt like it.
âLetâs talk about it some other dayâ, he answered. âI donât want to ruin our wedding anniversary date.â
âDate?â Ran asked and moved away to look at him with curiosity.
âYeahâ, Shinichi answered and straightened his glasses with his free hand. âIâm going to take you on the dateâ, he said proudly, looking away. âMaybe we could visit the aquarium or visit Tokyo Tower, or we can go check out old schools and reminisce everything like old people do.â Ran giggled. âOr whatever you feel likeâŠâ Shinichi continued and turned to look at her. âAnd of course, I would treat you a dinner in the finest restaurantâŠâ
Ran smiled. âI feel like a teenager again, you knowâ, she said with a big smile. âToo bad that your leg isnât its finest anymore. I would have loved to go somewhere we could dance like back thenâŠâ
âHey, my leg works wellâ, Shinichi defended himself and looked at his right leg. It was true that it hadnât been as it used to be, and the doctors had said that there hadnât been anything they could do to it, which was the main reason why he needed to use the cane to support his walking, but it didnât mean that he couldnât walk without a cane for a moment. He would survive without it for a while. Tomorrow it would ache much more than usual, but it would be worth it. âI can still take my girl to dance if she just wants to.â
âI know, I knowâ, Ran giggled. Then she got a little more serious. She raised her head, looking somewhere. Shinichi believed that those sakura flowers that was floating in the air. âBut you know where I would love to go?â
Shinichi looked at those flowers, thinkingâŠ
âWhere?â he finally asked.
âIn Tropical Land.â
The Tropical Land. Probably the only place where they hadnât gone back just two of them. After the Black Organization was taken down, he hadnât dared to suggest going there. In the end, it had been the place where he had made that mistake and followed those men in black, disappeared, and made so much pain for Ran. And he hadnât wanted to remind her of that if he doesnât have to.
Only after their own children had been old enough, they had made their first visit after the events. And even back then, Shinichi had been a little bit worried, but it hadnât seemed to bother Ran. He had meant to ask about it, but he had forgotten, and later he didnât even bother to ask. She had seem to be fine. Maybe the reason had been that they had been too busy looking after their children - later grandchildren - to remember those events there, and concentrated to spend time as a family and making new, better memories of that place.
And that place had changed so much over the years. Maybe it had been one reason why she hadnât seemed to think of them too much.
But he still got those memories back every time they had been thereâŠ
âThe Tropical Land, eh?â he asked finally and looked at Ran. âDonât you be afraid that I would disappear again?â
Stupid joke, but he had to make it. He wanted to make sure that Ran would be okay with it. Even though it had been over sixty years ago and they have made peace with his being Conan and everything, he wanted to be sure. This time they wouldnât have children with them. It would be just two of them, not distractionsâŠ
Ran looked at him and smiled mischievously. âIf you can run after some men in black with that age and with your leg, I want to see it happenâ, she answered, making Shinichi roll his eyes and look away. âBut we hold some good memories there tooâ, she continued before he had time to throw her any snarky comment. âWith our children and grandchildren too, but just two of us. And since itâs our sixtieth wedding anniversary, I feel like I would love to go there, just two of us. Just⊠reminisceâŠâ
Shinichi nodded. He could understand. He also remembered those nice things they did there before everything went down with his curiosity. And since they had never really gotten back there to be together and reminisce, what would be better than going back there on their wedding anniversary, doing all those things that they did as a teenagerâŠ
Or at least what they could do at their age and their condition.
âDo you think they took in people over 80 years old?â he asked finally. He turned to look at her to see how Ran looked at him for a moment before smiling and rolling her eyes, looking away. He let out a laugh. God, he really loved to see that. Finally, and with hesitation, he let go of Ranâs hand and took his cane that leaned on the side of the park bench. With its and the armrest's help, he pushed himself up. He felt stiff and a little bit of pain, but it was nothing new. He had just sat there too long without moving. Slowly he straightened himself before taking the first step.
That one limping step.
God, it really wasnât easy to be old. Not when he remembered being fast and flexible, ready to move as soon as needed.
He felt how Ran wrapped her arm around his left one. She didnât say anything, just walked with his speed, patiently as she always did, waiting that he would get himself to move. And slowly he got himself to walk as he normally did - nowadays.
âYou know what would be nice?â
Shinichi just looked at the ground while taking another step, thinking. âCanât say I knowâ, he answered finally.
Ran chuckled. âThat some case would happen.â
That he certainly didnât wait for her to say. Shinichi raised his head and turned to look at Ran surprised, but she just smiled, looking happy.
âWell, that one, I didnât wait to come from your mouthâ, he admitted finally. âUsually you have been the one who had told me that I shouldnât stick my nose everywhere and what else.â
Ran hummed. âI knowâ, she answered. âBut itâs been years since you have had a chance to be in a crime sceneâŠâ
âAnd I have been retired for over ten yearsâ, he answered. And even though part of him missed those times, he had to admit, culprits would just laugh at him nowadays. How in the world he would stop anyone to flee from the crime scene, with this condition? God, they would make fun of him for being slow and clumsy.
âAs a retired detective, you have still worked pretty oftenâ, Ran pointed out.
Well, about that, she wasnât wrong. Even though he hadnât been on crime scenes for many years, people still came to see him asking for his help. And he had never turned anyone away. He still liked to help people with problems if he just could. And it was kind of fun that even when someone from Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department came to visit with their mysteries, they carried him all the possible pictures and information they could.
Old detectives had taught them well to know who to ask for help with hard cases.
But Shinichi didnât mind.
âI know you would love to get to the crime scene againâ, Ran continued more gently.
âAs they would let meâ, he laughed. âWho in the world would let this old man disturb their investigations.â
It was Ranâs turn to laugh. âOh, donât give me thatâ, she said. âEveryone knows the Great Detective Kudo Shinichi. As soon as people would see you, they would recognize you, and they would let you on the crime scene to solve the case. I can even bet on it.â
Shinichi grinned. It was true that even younger people recognized him, but he still wondered. âAnd besides, culprits would make fun of me being slow and clumsy, not able to catch themâ, he said finally. âBesides, are you this eager to want some kind of murder case to ruin our anniversary date?â
Ran shrugged. âI donât want anyone to die! I just hope that maybe there is some kind of robber case that you can solveâ, she said. âBesides it wouldnât take the whole day. We would have plenty of time to have our date after that.â
He laughed. âIt can take some time, you knowâŠâ
âMy great detective has still sharp eyes and mindâ, she said gently, and he felt how she pressed closer to him. âI know he would solve it in no time.â
Shinichi didnât say anything. She was right. He still enjoyed puzzles and riddles which had made sure that his brain and memory were still in good shape - at least the doctor had said so -, and he still helped detectives solve the hard cases, but it was a different thing to solve those crimes from the home, hearing the story and seeing pictures than being in an actual crime scene. It had been too many years since he had been on a crime scene last time. Would he even know anymore what to do in there? And he would be awfully slow. It wouldnât go as fast as beforeâŠ
âAnd,â she continued eventually, taking Shinichi out of his thoughts. âIt has been too many years since I last time have seen your face when you solved the case.â
Shinichi frowned. âWhat about that?â he asked. âYou can see my face every day. Itâs the same, right?â
She smiled, and there was something on that smile that Shinichi couldnât catch. âYou wouldnât understandâ, she answered and they stopped to wait for traffic lights to change. âAnd you donât have to be worried about being slow or being unable to catch the culprit, you know.â
Shinichi frowned. âHow so?â he asked.
Their eyes met, Ranâs sparkling brightly when she smiled. âBecause I would stop them! Like in the old days.â
Shinichi stared at her determined expression before bursting out for a laugh.
âWhat?â Ran asked.
âOh, sweetheartâ, Shinichi said finally when calmed down a little bit. âAs much as I love you, you are not able to stop anyone these days.â
Ran frowned, making that same pouting face that she had always made, making Shinichi feel warm and loving even though he knew that face could be a sign of danger. âJust so you know, even though Iâm old, I still remember how to do karate!â she said.
It made him smile. âHave you forgotten how bad your balance is these days?â Before Ran could say anything, Shinichi continued: âAs soon as I let go of you and you took one step, you fall. And even though I would love to, Iâm not able to get you up from the floorâŠâ
âThat's not trueâ, Ran argued when the lights turned on green and they started to cross the street at a slow speed. Well, maybe he had exaggerated a little bit about her taking one step and falling, but the truth is that she would easily fall, and he wasnât eager to find out that one last time she would ever fall. âBesides, I can still use my handsâŠâ
Shinichi rolled his eyes, but still, he couldnât help but smile. He felt happy and still madly in love with the woman who walked beside him. It was fun and soothing to find out that even though they had gained age and many things had changed around them, his wife was the same woman as she had always been. The same that he had fallen in love with many decades ago.
A/N: I have a little mixed feeling about using the prompt as the name of my fic, but I couldn't think of anything else, and to be honest, it suited this well enough that I decided to leave it :D
I wish I could tell you that I love you
It was another solved dirty case on his books. Oh, well, actually it went for Mouri Kogoro since again, he had used that old man to solve the case. But it didnât change the fact that the case was a dirty one. A case about a girl who tried to frame her boyfriend as a culprit so she could get rid of him.
Well, it wasnât like it had shaken his world, butâŠ
He glanced at Ran, who stood a little farther from the others, looking like she was lost in her own thoughts. Who could tell what was going on in that beautiful and kind girlâs mind but Conan knew her better than anyone else. He could see the sadness that had taken over her face, and it made his heart ache.
She had stood against the culprit. Of course, Ran had. When it was about love or friendship, it was something that Ran couldnât accept and she never let the culprit go without a scold. And this hadnât been any different case. She had scolded that culprit for playing with othersâ hearts and feelings.
Well, Conan agreed on that. It had never been okay to play with others' feelings and use them like they wanted, but he wasnât usually the one who would rant about it. Or, at this point, he didnât make Ranâs old man do so. But he stood behind what Ran had said. Of course, he did.
But the culprit had just laughed when Ran scolded her. âYouâre just a young and naive girl who believes in a fairytaleâ, she had said with a smile, without regret. âHave you never considered why your boyfriend - ah, no, childhood friend left in the first place? Maybe he just got enough of you? Maybe he didnât even care about you? Have you never considered that maybe he just lied to you about coming back, but never comesâŠâ
He had wanted to step in, defend himself, because he would ever, never, do that to Ran, butâŠ
âHe would never lie to me!â
It had made even Conan twitch. The fire that had lightened up on Ran, the rage she had had while looking at that culprit and making her silent, had made everyone want to back off. Ran had got the room to herself, and scolded the culprit to the end, without pitying her. No one had dared to stop her, not until she had been done.
Conan hadnât thought that those words would hit her that hard. Of course, he was happy and touched that she still believed in him, trusted him, and defended him when he couldnât do that himself. He was happy to know that Ran still knew that he cared about her and she trusted that he would come back home, whatever happens. He had promised and he would keep. He would never break his promises.
But even though she had been so sure of itâŠ
He could tell it from her face. Now she was doubting. The sadness in her eyes, looking away, trying to be alone and hide the doubt.
And it was his fault. He knew she missed him, but he couldnât do anything to ease that pain. He had hoped that if he wouldnât be in touch with her too often, she wouldnât miss him or maybe she would kind of forget his existence, but it had made everything just worse. God, he actually blamed himself for being so naive. How in the world he had thought that Ran would just forget him? In the end, they had been friends like forever. There hadnât been even a single day that they hadnât been in touch even somehow, not before the day he decided to follow those men in black.
And the truth was, even though he was closer to her than before, living in the same apartment with her, he missed her too. It hurt to see her and know that he couldnât be and act like Shinichi. He couldnât tease her as he had used to, he couldnât talk to her like he had used to - and she didnât talk to Conan about the things she used to talk about with Shinichi -, and when she was feeling down, he couldnât go to her as himself and try to ease her worry or pain.
So as much as she had believed in him and waited patiently for Shinichi to return, he couldnât blame her to start doubting. Maybe it seemed to her that Shinichi didnât care about her. It wasnât the truth, but the problem was that when he called her, he didnât want to go too deep into what he had done after their last call. Because everything he would tell her would be made up. And he didnât like to lie to her. It was enough to keep his identity a secret from her, he didnât want any more secrets between them. But now that he thought about it, maybe his silence about his own doings made her feel like he didnât want to share his life with her anymore. Maybe to her, it looked like Shinichi didnât care about her.
God, if she only knew how much he did. He would do anything for her, even lose his life just to make sure she would be safe and sound. He would do anything just to get back to himself so he could be with her again.
God, Ran. I⊠I wish I could tell you that I love you. ButâŠ
He couldnât. As much as he would love to but if he wouldâŠ
She would miss him even more. She would ask him more often to come back home.
And as long as the Black Organisation was out there, she wouldnât be safe with that knowledge. And the worst part, he wasnât even sure if he could come back even after that. His biggest fear was the thought that there wouldnât be anything that could make him back to normalâŠ
He closed his eyes and shook his head. Donât think about it, he commanded himself. One thing at a time. First the organization, thenâŠ
He raised his head to look at her, that sad figure. Well, cheering her up would be first on his list. He knew exactly who could take that sadness away and how, but right now it would be impossible for him to call her and ask how she was doing. He would do it as soon as they would get back home. Now he needed something else. Something he could do right now, make her forget her sorrow even for a moment.
Itâs the least he could do right now.
âRan-neechan!â
And she turned to look at him when he ran at her. He stopped in front of her, showing her the biggest smile he could do. âAre you going to cook that curry today?â he asked innocently and touched his belly. âIâm so hungryâŠâ
The sadness turned into realization. âOh, it is so late already!â she shouted, looking around. She looked a little bit lost before she turned back to him. âMaybe we should just grab something while heading homeâŠâ
âNo wayâ, he said, showing how disappointed he was.
She smiled at him apologetically. âBut you would get some food faster and whatever you feel likeâ, she explained and crouched in front of him. âIf I would cook, it would take some time.â
âI can help!â he offered, even though he knew that he wouldnât be a big help to her, but⊠âYour curry is so delicious, so I can wait a little longer.â
And it did what he wanted it to do. Ran looked at him surprised before melting into a gentle smile. âYou think so?â
âMm-hmâ, he nodded. âBest in the world!â
And that wasnât even a lie. He could eat her cooking the rest of his life and he wouldnât still get enough of them.
She let out a laugh. âWell, in that caseâ, she said and raised up, offering her hand to him, âletâs find Dad so we can head home and start to cook that curry.â
âYay!â he shouted and grabbed her hand. She smiled happily at him, looking like she had forgotten her worries even for a moment. As he hoped for.
