Princess Pea’s birth story and first month
37th week: found myself writing some blog post about wanting to make her acquaintance.
37th week + 2: felt some contractions and pain at midnight. Went to Thai Thinh clinic, but the lady there was rather vulgar and tried to tell me that the contractions were Braxton Hicks, and only checked my cervix when I insisted that she looked at my contractions. Still same conclusion, which I doubt now whether she checked it properly. Still, at the time, I considered it professional’s opinion, and then proceeded to check out the sales at Soc&Brothers where Loc & I snapped up some jazzy clothes for Princess Pea’s first winter.
37th week + 3: I felt my water broke. I started to go into business mode, put on adult diaper, grabbed my charger and the homecoming dress and put them all in the suitcase, filled the tumbler, while hitting Loc pretty hard to get him up and running with me (poor guy). I had to be very fast, considering that I had strep B and so the baby is at risk of contracting the virus if we take too long for delivery, I was also in a panic and started mumbling about how I’m not ready at all (yes, our life has since changed dramatically, but nothing on earth can prepare us for it anyway). Loc had to tell me to take a five, sit down and breathe, and reassured me before we both got out of the house. Funny thing is that we saw the neighbor kids on our way out – the only time we’ve ever seen them, and it’s on our way to delivery.
The hospital was so quiet for an emergency dept (and considering how many late-night delivery stories I’ve been told). The nurses seem almost sleepy, whereas I was rather in a panic (strep B! I kept telling EVERYONE), but they seemed to know what they’re doing (Loc didn’t. He didn’t even manage to book me the VIP serviced room. The guy is helpless at coordinating events like this). Anyhow, I was taken to the monitoring area, was hooked up to the monitor for several hours while Loc checked into the room and set up. Apparently he couldn’t even sleep. I didn’t either in the monitoring room, trying to make sure I get the antibiotics for Strep B, signed up for epidurals, and looking at the three other women who are also expecting. I kept worrying about the fetal distress too, and even tried to use the locker key to look at the baby’s heart rate. By around 3:30- 4 am, I was taken to the delivery room where the monitoring and the epidural took place. It wasn’t as scary as it sounds / looks, apparently I could only feel two thin needles going into my spine (and much less painful than the failed IV attempt at my elbow …) By 5:30, activity seemed to pick up and the girl in the next bed was gearing up for delivery around 6 am. I was also asked to start learning to push, and apparently excelled at it (I know. I followed instructions for physical exercises A LOT). It wasn’t too painful – if you ask me, I’d rate it 7-8 on a 10 scale (without the psychological factor…) and I just felt like it’s some grueling exercises, but my legs were shaking, which Loc said must be from the pain that I couldn’t feel post-epidural. By 6:20, the nurse said you’ll be meeting the baby in 10 minutes and I almost didn’t believe it, but I did! Princess Pea made her arrival at 6:27 am, March 18, 2021. From Loc’s point of view, she was bluish purple at first before starting to make a small cry and became redder by the minute. By the time we did skin-to-skin, I already thought she looked beautiful.
Memories started to blur from this moment. The doctor took a while to stitch me up, make sure nothing that shouldn’t be left was left, while I concentrated on being with Princess Pea. Then somehow they took her away to weigh and do their thing, while I was wheeled out into the recovery room. Both our mothers were there (on my way out) and was allowed like 5 minutes to talk before they were shooed out. We delivered women were then asked about paperwork, etc. (shouldn’t this be done before hand, like before we were anesthetized ?!) Anyhow, Princess Pea was then returned and we attempted some nursing. At this point, I could only produce some drops of colostrum and was struggling to breastfeed for the first time, which wasn’t very encouraging. We were allowed to be together until about 10- 11 AM when they wheeled us to our booked room.
Day 1: So I guess her day starts from here. She mostly slept and I was sleeping besides her, and feeling thankful that only one visitor (L) was allowed in the room. So we pretty much just stared at her and talked, me feeling thankful that I wasn’t too bad for wear. Loc also brought food, so we started to eat. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable with the perineal stitch, but not too much so I pretty much managed to get around. Didn’t like it when my own mother kept trying to hold the baby and stimulate her, when I thought she must be left alone to do much needed sleeping. At least Loc’s mom just held her and not trying to disrupt her sleep to check her reflexes (like it’s your job). Both grandmas, however, started to worry about my milk supply and insisted that we try to feed her (while I checked with Hong Kong and she said in Japan they wait for a day). Anyhow, it didn’t hurt so we started to feed her the formula I brought. That night, we didn’t sleep because we were so nervous if anything happened to her, so we took turns watching her.
Day 2: The morning was a flurry of activities, as Princess Pea was taken to rounds and rounds of routine testing, not to mention a communal bath (with other screaming kids). I started to prepare to leave, and was so nervous (I think the modus operandi here is NERVOUS) that I had to ask a random nurse to help get her into our homecoming outfit. Me, however, was decked out as much as I could with wet wipes and basic toiletries. That night was another sleepless night.
Week 1: The week went by without beginning or end, as I was starting to get on a very sleep deprived schedule. Luckily Loc was allowed to be home until Sunday, and helped out. Turns out neither moms were fit to help around the house – none of us were willing to ask them to do manual work and when I tried, my mom started to ask the maid to bring things back to her home to clean anyway. At least we got meal delivery, albeit the menu was limited to 5 dishes of pig’s feet and rau ngot, not even on rotation but a full extravaganza every time. It almost felt like more work for us whenever we got our grandparent visitors.
Week 2: I was starting to get desperate about the feed/pump issue, there wasn’t just enough time to do both and all suggestions seemed moot. Had a breakdown that could rival post partum depression, and Loc and I, being both so tired, had a confrontation where he reminded me that the baby needs me to stay sane. I was so sleep deprived, I started dreaming things, while desperately asking for the maid’s help which they finally (reluctantly?) handed out. I actually even hired outside help for 4 mornings while waiting for the maid to iron out her schedule. Basically, the week was a disaster as we tried to make some adjustments. What could have helped? Maybe everyone shouldn’t have jumped on my breastfeeding case and had an opinion and seemed to make it their own issue without my request.
Week 3: I was way too tired and sad and of course it affected my milk production. Jumped on the phone to Hong Kong, who shared her own early days and her priorities, which helped me set myself straight. From now on, sleeping and getting into the rhythm with the baby are my foremost priorities. Pumping is only occasional and on a need base. Loc was super supportive and asked people to give us three days of space, which helped tremendously. I finally started to catch up on sleep, and it seems more harmonious with the baby as well albeit some growth spurts did throw us off.
That only goes to show that choosing the right partner does make all the difference in the world. Man did I luck out at that.
Week 4: We are slowly but surely earning our status as new parents, with the baby more cooperative, I’m catching up on the sleep debt, and starting to do more work (like organizing the full month ceremony. Who knows about that?!) Anyhow, the mood has improved significantly as I gained more confidence and complicity with the beautiful Princess.
