seen from United States
seen from Philippines
seen from Norway
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Philippines
seen from Canada
seen from China
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Russia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Brazil
to add on to my last reblog; its really really isolating to be a syskid/little. The system community is kinda uncomfortable with us interacting, since we're just kids in their eyes, we cant interact with kids irl because we're so much older, age regression is its own thing so its awkward to be in that space, and that leaves us nowhere other than close friends the system already made to be ourselves... - Evelyn / Vee / Eevee, She/They/It/Fur/Paw
TW: Severe Derealization, implied paranoia A poem from one of our newer alters about their experience (Mr Eye(? Theyre still figuring out a name)
Where were you?
the fields,
the sky,
the river,
the forests,
the halls,
the air
the clouds-
everywhere
no
not everywhere
between
beyond...
. here
. and
. everywhere
. and
. nowhere
. at
. the
. same
. time.
beyond life
beyond now
beyond what
anyone here will understand.
no one will understand
and now you're here. in a world that makes all sense and no sense and its lines are lines and its edges and corners are edges and the halls dont move but its not real is it? There was real. The hills, the houses, the whispers the crawling feeling of eyes watching watching you want them to stop but theyre your friends right friends you like them you hate them you want them gone-
no. line by line,
none of that now,
its a poem silly
you dont put paragraphs in poems
that doesnt make sense
...
nothing makes sense
the plastic trees
the digital sky
but what else could it be
other than real
a dream?
you know dreams
you like dreams
dreams are safe
dreams feel more real
right
safer
with their vivid trees and houses and hills and grass
(its all alive, like you, made of flesh and blood and- wait, silly, trees and houses and hills and grass aren't made of that-)
it moves and shifts and that's right.
and now you're in an unreal world
surrounded by unreal things
surrounded by halls that dont twist
and people who dont rhyme
and dont speak in riddles
and dont contridict
and who speak in plain and simple prose
and that's normal here, you've learned
you want to go back to the dreams
but the mind doesn't dream, you're told
the mind doesnt dream
your dreams are lost
it wasn't real, according to them
so, you dont exist
how can you be 'real'?
if your home never existed
how can you be here?
if dreams are something only in a head
something some people don't do
if they are the thing that is fake,
aren't you fake too?
no, you aren't fake,
so everything else must be,
right?
if your home is real
If dreams are real,
here must be fake
it must be.
surely.
surely you can still go home...
TW Dormancy mention
No one talks about subsystems switching, when a subsystem a is collection of alters who can only front as a group, a collective. You start to get blurry, switch a lot, never know whos in front and you know its going to happen because it feels like a disease, like your mind is crumbling and then youre gone, because theres nothing when your no longer the subsystem at front, your dormant and no one can hear you and then you wake up again and its been months. Or maybe you never wake up again. Some haven't. Maybe we'll be next. I dont know. If that's happening, or if we're just blurry but. Its so terrifying. I dont think that's happening, but i'm so scared it might be.
I dont want to go to sleep. We just got here - Blurry Front
Weird things about being plural pt2: One of our childhood cat is an alter. They are a grumpy protector/father figure who is very disgruntled about the fact they became a sterotypical looking catboy. IDK it just dumbfounds us sometimes that he exists - Blurry/unknown Front, about Pix (He/Ask)
Being a new alter is really weird holy. Like, I have vague memories of everything this subsystem has the memories of, but also. Huh. I wasn’t here three days ago and those memories aren’t mine at all but I remember them well. Really weird.
Also I’m like the one modern person in this subsystem and I’m stuck in a goddamn Ancient Greece / amphoreus themed headspace.
Anyways hi, I’m a fictive/songtive of Len from Ego Renegade Boy, uh pleasure to be here??? - Len (He/Him)
(NO HATE TO ANYONE, Just sharing my own experience) I always feel weird when I see things saying that DID must be so hard, or that people wish they were plural. Because I'm an alter who formed after we learned we were a system. Beyond a few fuzzy memories I need to function, I have been given basically nothing of before we learned about it. I really dont know if I'd rather be single or plural. It's like asking a fire if it prefers heat or cold - The heat is all its known, how can it have a preference? Maybe it hates the heat but the cold might be worse. I have my dislikes about being a system, but maybe being a singlet would be worse. Imagine not being able to take a break when you need to check out, not having others to help you get work done. Feels like it'd be lonely. But also imagine being able to remember things. Being able to be sure that when you wake up you'll still be you. Not having to be afraid you'll no longer exist at some point. Being able to actually get time alone. Not having to worry about what the other alters do. I can't... imagine it at all. Any of being a singlet. Because I've always been a system since I got here, and I've never even experienced denial of being a system. I have no clue how I'd survive without my subsystem. The only experience I have of being a singlet is exomemories from source, and even that is blurry as all hell. So, I don't hate being a system. I dont love it either. It's just... all I've known. - Phainon (He/it)
I feel as if someone should explain what subsystems are in our context, as there are a couple of definitions, so we're gonna do it.
The one I see a lot more is the definition of a system within a system - an alter that is fragmented into different alters themselves, but this is not the only definition and not the one that applies to us.
For us, subsystems are a pocket of connected alters that have strong internal communication and low amnesia barriers, but are isolated from others with the same level of dissociation that is expected betwen alters. Each alter within a subsystem is distinct, but it's like... having multiple systems. rather than a system within a system.
Each system takes turns being the system in front, and its very rare that beyond what we call the sys-admin alters (Alters with control and vision over the system at large (Gatekeepers, archivists, etc)), alters from other subsystems can front or even communicate with others due to the dissocative barriers in play. So yeah, that's our experience with being polyfragmented, and how our subsystems work! - Spectator (They/Them) & Phainon (He/It)
ALTERS MASTERPOST PT1
This post will contain all alters who WISH to be named, organized by subsystem, along with individual boundaries for asks.
The boundaries are NOT a list of DNIs, they are simply what each alter does not want to be in asks directed at them specifically. This post currently contains: Sys-Admin, Demigods & Co (Currently, these are the two main active subsystems, more will be added over time. They just haven't yet because I am lazy - Phainon)
