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How many letters do u have to write until you come home? My hand is getting tired and I’m running out of words to tell you that I miss you nicely. I want you fucking home. I’m tired of you being locked up why the fuck did you do what you did. This isn’t fair to me. I’m so sad about it. But all I can do is wait for your call if 15 minutes of happiness followed by a couple days of hell.

#inmate #prison wife #prison girlfriend #prison gf

How can I hate you and love you so damn much at the same damn time...

I forgot how hard this was...

I forgot how much this shit fucking hurts.

You promised me you’d never go back...

Yet here we are,

You’re behind the walls

And i’m left to be at your beck and call

You need money?

I provide it.

You need letters?

I will write them

BUT GOD DOES IT FUCKING HURT

and every time i get mad

I bring up the past

Because it hurts so bad

but when you got locked up your forgot all the shit you had done

all the pain you had caused me

all the memories you stole

not to mention the money or the clothes

all my electronics suddenly vanished

but when you got locked up

you figured that was your punishment

but you got locked up for what you did,

and then continued to steal from me

my laptop and my xbox

my car for goodness fucking sake.

but im just supposed to forget about it,

cause your ass is in prison

But i don’t know if i can forgive you this time

im trying

but you never listen.

#prison wife #prison girlfriend #prison gf #loving an addict #loving a heroin addict #drug addiction #dereck

Gotta love when my deities are all “you gotta communicate with him” like he’s not in prison and can’t talk everyday

#prison girlfriend #prison gf

28, February 2017.

#dereck #happy birthday #I love my inmate #prison girlfriend #prison gf #prison wife

How am i not supposed to feel this pit of hatred and anger every time you piss me off? How am I supposed to believe that a couple months of prison changed you when right before you went you stole everything I had to my name?

How am I suppose to just trust you?

How am I not supposed to be pissed the fuck off every time I think about all the things you took from me, while you continue to ask for more?

How am I supposed to believe that in a couple months, you will be better and will come home and stay clean?

Why is it that no matter what happens she alwyas folllows behind?

Always creeping up and terrorizing my life.

Fuck her, fuck your fucking drugs.

Will she always be apart of you?

Flowing through your veins?

Is it her that makes you so despicable?

Or is that just who you really are?

Selfish, distrustful and deceiving

Will it ever stop...

Is prison going to change you...

Or is this just some more “Jail Talk”?

#Prisonwife #Priongirlfriend #Girlfriend of a heroin addict #prison gf #prison wife #prison #addiction #drug addict #heroin #prison talk #jail talk

Skype Date 6/20

Just had a skype date with Nikolai. I haven't seen his face since he was in Oklahoma. My face hurts from smiling and laughing so much. I've missed seeing him smile and giving me kissie faces. I'm so happy. He knows I've been really stressed lately, so he made a deal just to make me feel better. I'm gonna marry this man ❤😘😍 277 more days/ 40 more weeks till he's home.