#probs.

[dumbf1nded]

i ate 13 babies in the span of one year. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! thanks for sticking around! i love yall so much and if anything happens to you i might eat more babies

[lilmeowmrow]

socks to bed chart

[invertable]

Oh, you’re a resident? So then you’re not a real doctor?

I’m a real doctor the same that you’re a real asshole.

[advntgsa]

𝗜𝗙  𝗟𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗡𝗘  𝗕𝗔𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦   has  something  to  say  about  a  boy  ,   jessica’s  colored   curious.   calvin  klein  .  .  .   even  the  name  has  a  certain  ring  to  it.   there’s  also  the   ALLURE   of  being  the  center  of  attention.   a  spot  that  lorraine’s  currently  occupying  thanks  to  her  new        “    friend    ”      -   much  to  the  blonde’s  dismay.   as  far  as  she’s  concerned  ,   that  spot’s  already  been   R E S E R V E D.   least  she  doesn’t  fret.   it’s  a   minor   problem  remedied  by  an  opportune  moment  taken  advantage  of.   spotting  said  boy  in  question  in  question  slipping  out  of  class   &   right  out  the  school’s  door  seems  exactly that                          an  opportunity.

❛   hey  !   calvin  klein  !   wait  up  !   ❜   with  the   slam   of  her  locker  door  ,   heels  clacked  ,   bursting  through  the  door  to  catch  up.   ❛   &  here  i  thought  i  was  the   only   one  with  the   guts   to  skip  class  around  here  .  .  .   ❜

@heavytm​     /     𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐇  !

[fantasticgaygirl]

I’d like everything to just stop for a little while.

[pigeonfancier]

My father is home sick, so we’ve been chattering a lot the past few days.

Latest convo:

ME: Yeah, I’m so fucking sick of Mucinex, but I’m going to go take some more, because I’m literally just dying without it right now.

HIM: Oh, well, I’m still going to get better quicker than you, just so you know. With your little fucking Mucinex~.

ME:

ME:

ME: Yeah, of course you are, you don’t have an immuno-deficiency order, you dick.

HIM: Oh, fuck, that’s true. Oh no. Okay, back up -

ME: What next, are you going to go, oh, D, I can run faster than you? Look at me go~! I’m beating you~!

ME: I’ve got a bad leg!

ME: Are you going to take my cane, too, just to make sure you can beat me? Hold it over your head? CONGRATULATIONS. YOU BEAT ME. I CAN’T RUN.

HIM: Oh my god, you’re such a dick. Where did you even get this from?

[ofworstbehaviors-blog]

       ( open to:  females┊ student. )

         chance prides himself on his abilities to logically reason. although, as of late —- since his rise to writing stardom, his once heavy conscious seems to dwindle further and further away. sure, he’d fucked people before —- sometimes questionable, and the most questionable while being under the influence but this in his defense ( unlike many of his other decisions ) isn’t his fault. she’d been a summer fling, a girl he’d met while lounging on the beach like he had for every of his dam life —- a mouthy girl, younger than him, of course, whom chance found himself tangled with sans clothing in the back of his car, in the sand, on the kitchen counter ( he could go on forever ) throughout the course of the summer. had he known that only a couple months later, she’d be sitting in the front row of his lecture hall, he probably would’ve thought twice —- maybe NOT about the quick fuck in the back of his car but at least about every other encounter that followed. he’s in the midst of introducing himself when she swiftly strides into class, her skin kissed by the days she’d spent on the beach, and her scent overwhelming despite the distance between them —- he’s in the midst of introducing himself when he nearly shits his pants. he’d fucked a student. jesus christ. another accomplishment to add onto his list of blunders. he cuts class fifteen minutes, figures it’s the first day, he should let them off easy, that and the longer he’s in her company, the tighter the tie around his neck seems to get. he heads straight for his office, and at that moment he’s leaning back on the leather chair, IGNORING any and all responsibilities when the door swings open. it’s a little early in the semester for visitors and as much as chance enjoys engaging with his students, he isn’t in the mood to deal with what he assumes is an ambitious kid trying to get ahead of their classmates. breathing out an irritable, unwelcoming sigh, he doesn’t bother to glance upwards, even though he probably should have.  ❛ office hours don’t start till next week. ❜