#proctor 2

[brunchbitch]

I miss this place

[brunchbitch]

I miss this place

[brunchbitch]

I took a walk around McLean after seeing B this morning to say goodbye to the campus and hospital that literally saved my life. I said goodbye to each building, each spot along the walk where I held a memory, mostly from my time at 3East. I said goodbye to the cafeteria courtyard where I would always eat lunch with the day program, the ambulance entrance to the CEC that meant the start of another inpatient stay, the STU where I visited many of my friends, P2 and all the memories and people there, the "bowl" in front of Proctor where I went stargazing with Rob and the other patients, the tree where I picked a huge beautiful bright red maple leaf that my favorite CRC from 3East still has, the tree that Em climbed, the chapel where we found a dead squirrel on the door step, the place where the building used to be that I broke into with Sam, the tunnel bathroom where I hooked up with another patient, the serenity garden next to East House where I smoked countless cigarettes, the Pavilion where my mom went to treatment, the tunnels where we used an Ouija board, Mill St where we found children's handprints in the dust in the basement even though no kids had been there, and the nightly walks we would take with Whitney the CRC as she told us all the ghost stories of McLean. It's so difficult to close this chapter of my life, even though I know I'm ready to move on. It's time. But I will miss this whole campus deeply and fiercely.

[brunchbitch]

My roommate has woken up crying the last few nights. She’s only 19 years old. My heart aches for her.

[paininthejas]

i called to see if proctor 2 has any beds open, but its the weekend so of course they dont

[brunchbitch]

What is proctor 2?

DID and trauma disorders inpatient unit

[brunchbitch]

I'm getting admitted to proctor 2 tomorrow and I'm really scared. Any advice ?

Bring a stuffed animal or blanket that comforts you. Bring your favorite book and journal. Pack comfy clothes. Bring pics of your friends and family to remind yourself why you’re doing this. Make friends with other patients. Follow the rules. Use the de-stim room if you need to calm down - it’s much better than being forced to go into the quiet room. Tell staff when you have urges to hurt yourself. Go to groups, even if they’re boring. It shows you’re committed and makes the time pass. Know that weekends are gonna be SUPER boring. Ask friends/family to come visit. Go on the fresh air breaks/walks once you get off hall restriction - getting outside is such a nice break from the stuffy unit and, again, helps the time to pass. Talk to Rob (staff), he’s the best. Ask for PRNs if you feel yourself getting out of control or panicky. Try to shower every day, even if you don’t want to. You’ll feel better being clean and wearing a clean change of underwear. Listen to your favorite music. Do yoga. Color. Use your check ins with staff to your benefit. Above all, BE HONEST - about your urges, what you need, if you feel like you’re ready for discharge, if you’ve used a behavior, what your fears are, etc. Your team can’t help you if you aren’t being honest. Good luck sweetie, I’m thinking of you.

[paininthejas]

just wrote a letter to Rob (and everyone else)

i miss them so much