#project sunflower

[kaybonbon]

Been working on this off and on for a minute. Wanted to do a play on the opening. Was considering this would be my comic’s title but I’m thinking it’s too on the nose.

[kaybonbon]

Thank you so much for responding to my HC ask! I have some thoughts based on canon. I hope it's okay to share since this ship is small and I need someone with the same hyperfixation to talk to!

So based on canon, I feel like by the time Roger hosts Doug's 1 year anniversary at his place, he's aware he likes him. He's not aware to what extent that "like" goes (frenemy like?), but he's conscious of it, which makes all the bullying that continues suspect. I'm not sure when the ferris wheel episode takes place in relation to the anniversary episode, but I think it's interesting he seemed dead-set on sitting next to Doug. Roger's absent father and busy mother have been pain points for Roger that he desperately tries not to show, so Doug suggesting Mr. Dink partner with Roger for the wheelbarrow race was probably a big deal for Roger (and again, I don't know where in the timeline this falls). Then on graduation day, on the cusp of transitioning to middle school, I think that "like" intensifies after Doug's pep talk and maybe he finally figures it out not long after.

As for subconscious attraction, I think you're right. I think it started as soon as Doug fell on his face at Honker Burger and got ketchup on his boots. Maybe Doug's blush did it and that triggered a confused and therefore angry response.

I personally like to think that Roger picks on Doug because receiving positive attention from someone he likes scares him. Because positive attention and affection can just disappear at the drop of a hat. Based on his family history, I think he may have avoidant-dismissive and disorganized attachment styles. He needs to feel tough and independent because he's alone in his trailer a lot, and he likely envies Doug's more secure family and home, as well as his inate ability to make friends easily. And I think the fact that Doug is considerate of Roger despite his contradictory push-pull behavior means a lot to him because he's starved for positive attention that Doug gives everyone so easily.

Anyway, yeah. Sorry for the text dump, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on all this because I love Roger and think he's more interesting than he gets credit for. Also, is the drawing of Roger hugging himself and crying part of Project Sunflower? Is he heartbroken to learn Doug slept with Patti? Can't wait to see this comic and any art you make off this amazing ship!

Please share away! To your point this fandom is teeny tiny and needs all the love and discourse it can get! 

You really know your stuff! I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with just about everything.

I’m inclined to agree with you that Roger was more likely to have realized his feelings even earlier than I was speculating. That subconscious attraction was there from the get go, but to your point Roger hosting a party at his place solely for Doug’s anniversary speaks volumes. I’d like to think it was his idea but he would never admit it.

The episode you mentioned with the Ferris Wheel is “Doug’s Fair Lady”, another one of my favorites. That takes place prior to the Party Roger hosts for Doug and you’re absolutely right, Roger would’ve killed for that seat.

One could argue that Roger became aware of his feelings as early as season 1 in “Doug Takes a Hike”. Roger teases Doug relentlessly in this episode, but when a snake shows up, Roger goes immediately into protection mode. Despite his crippling fear of snakes, he puts himself between the snake and Doug.

When Doug protects him in turn by not exposing his fear of snakes to the rest of the group, I think it really leaves an impression on Roger. “This person had every opportunity to humiliate me and get me back, but he didn’t. He protected me.” For the short remainder of the episode, Roger goes out of his way to be nice to Doug, something we don’t really see too often.

“I personally like to think that Roger picks on Doug because receiving positive attention from someone he likes scares him. Because positive attention and affection can just disappear at the drop of a hat.” 

THIS. THIS SO HARD!

Roger desperately wants to be close to people but the fear of losing them is so strong that he inadvertently ends up pushing them away. He’s obsessed with his image and what others think about him which screams he’s struggling with personal identity and self esteem issues.

Roger’s parents are big factors in this. Roger clearly wants his father in his life but his dad is off somewhere else at all important times. His mom is there but she works herself to the bone trying to support herself and Roger so when she physically is around she still isn’t fully “present” for Roger. Doug on the other hand has a wonderful family life with both parents being present and active in their children’s lives.

The drawing you’re referring to was actually inspired by a famous Sailor Moon screen shot that I felt perfectly encapsulated Roger’s internal struggle and his sorrow whilst no one is looking. 

Thank you so much for the asks! It warms my heart knowing others are interested!

[kaybonbon]

Another test comic page. This time a mix of copic and digital. Trying to figure out how I want to execute this larger project.