“We were pretending to be lovers but I’m not pretending anymore and I need to know if you’re serious.”
Pretending to date Pidge so her family wouldn’t bug her anymore in trade of helping Lance move into his new apartment? Lance took it as a win. Pretending to be in love with Pidge when he started falling in love with her? It was challenging, granted, but Lance could roll with it. Having Pidge kiss him and not being certain if she meant it like he meant it? Well, that was torture.
Lance could feel himself burning from the inside out. At first it was just a thing, then it was fun even. Now, though? Now that Lance double guessed every momentary glance is way? Now it was unbearable. Lance knew she noticed too. He was becoming less prone to wrap an arm around her. He originally was the one to initiate all contact, but now he seemed to distance himself from it.
It all came to a head one evening after the weekly Holt family dinner. Pidge’s parents were obliviously to their ruse, but Matt was starting to catch on. Pidge elbowed Lance subtly to get him to move. Lance, in some sort of zombified state, reacted out of instinct more than anything. Pidge glared at him. On their way back to Pidge’s place, Pidge stormed in to her apartment, and Lance followed behind sluggishly.
“What’s the matter with you?!” Pidge yelled. She threw her bag to the floor in frustration. “You almost blew it! Do you know how close Matt is to finding the truth?!”
Lance rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m sorry, Pidge. I just-”
Pidge crossed her arms. “Just can’t what, Lance?” She huffed.
Lance felt the words dry in his mouth. The weight of the words he wanted to say made his tongue heavy. He open and closed his mouth quietly for a moment before Pidge deflated.
“Whatever, Lance.” Pidge turned away, bracing herself against her small dining table. She breathed in deeply.
“Wait, Pidge.” Lance was finally able to croak out. “I…”
Pidge turned to fully face him. Her eyes softened with how helpless he looked. “Lance..?” She almost whispered.
“I…” He started again, “…when we started this, it was just me, helping out a friend.” He cleared his throat. “And now I…” Why was it so hard? His eyes misted, and he looked away as his throat closed around the words. “I think I love you, Pidge. And there’s times where I think maybe this is genuine. Maybe we aren’t pretending anymore…” Lance finally looked up to meet her gaze. “And I need to know.”
Pidge’s eyes widened in shock. She gasped silently as she braced herself against the table. She felt like her knees were about to give way at any moment. Lance swallowed harshly. “Lance..” she whispered.
Lance shook his head. “I just…you can say there’s nothing there. You can say I’m nothing more than your annoying friend, but, Pidge-” his voice cracked, “-Pidge, I need to know.”
Pidge gaped for a few moments. The silence was thick, and hard to swallow. Maybe that’s why she was gasping for air. Maybe that’s why Lance couldn’t breath. Finally, when she had looked to her shoes and no longer met his gaze, Lance heaved a heavy breath.
“…yeah.” Lance took in another shaky breath. I’m going to just…go.”
Lance picked up his own bag. When exactly he had placed it down, he didn’t know. He just knew he needed to leave. He needed to breath. “I’ll still help you, if you want.” He spoke softly.
“No.” Came the harsh sound to break the shattering atmosphere.
Lance’s heart halted it’s jagged rhythm. He felt his tongue swell into his mouth. “Wha-”
Pidge stormed towards him. She grabbed him by the collar, dragging him down to her level. “No.” Her breath was hot on his face, making him flush. She pulled him in the rest of the way until their lips met.
Lance was reminded of a nice day, lazying in bed, wrapped in warm blankets. This was that feeling, except ten times better. Lance’s hands immediately found purchase on Pidge’s hips. He met her driving force with equal measure. He tilted his chin just enough to give him leverage. He leaned into her more, even as she dragged her hands into his dark locks to pull him closer. Lance’s throat constricted for a completely different reason this time.
He pulled away reluctantly, grinning like an idiot, he was sure. Pidge’s own smile stretched across her cheeks must have been its mirror. She bit her lip. “I think that’s a good enough answer?’
Lance was left breathless by the glint in her eye. It entranced him like a precious gem. He breathed in fresh air.
