❝ The Rivers would no longer run wild, because there was nothing to run for.
We all have known love, whatever it has come to us in a form of friendship, love towards those in your family, or as romantic love. Eleanor Rivers had known them in form of them all, yet she knew, that one day she was going to know the kind of love that gave love songs to their mere meaning. She knew one day she was going to know the kind of love that would consume her, would bring her passion quite like she's never seen before, as it would also bring her pain as it would wound her wide open like nothing before. Maybe that was what terrified her, even yet she would never admit that out loud, not even to herself.
The cold steel rested beneath her hands as she leaned to the rail of her favorite balcony, wind picked up the strains as they no longer rested upon her shoulders and the air felt only refreshing at the flush of her cheeks as it said goodbye to her skin. She was not going to stay another night longer as yet another heart had been broken, yet another decision had been made. A decision to move because it was what she did when a touch of love turned had into bittersweet goodbyes. It was never her intention to break a heart, yet it was always how it was always written to happen just that way. And just like always, she had loved him. She had fallen in love quickly, just like the spring would fall in love with the summer. But had she fallen in love quickly, she had fallen out of just as quickly. She had picked up with the wind but she had fallen down as the wind had calmed. She believed it was love, a fling of love that one should cherish in their lives for as long as it lasted. She believed she knew what love was and what it was supposed to be, as she believed that one day she was going to find love that would last through centuries. But this has not been it, simply so.
She wished she could have changed the way she was, the way her heart was always flighty and never quite desired to settle down even when it held a form of love within. The men that she had loved had been exactly what she had always thought she was destined to look for, they had given her adventure, they had given her passion and they had given her their love. But it was never quite enough, it was never quite enough to hold the love that she had ever felt in her heart in place. Maybe it was because no one was ever as they expected them to be, or maybe it was because her heart was simply unable to hold such love in place for much longer than those passing months she ever spent with one man.
Love was simple, there was nothing about love that Eleanor saw need to fight against, never had. Not until now. The goodbyes, the many she had given through her lifetime, she was tired of them. It wasn't in who the goodbye had been given to, but it was the goodbyes that she had grown her bitter and tired of. It was the way they weighted her heart, how the flickering guilt grew every time she watched the bitterness of goodbyes to tore someone because she had been foolish enough to make them believe this was going to be their great forever, forever in their span of human lifetime. And it had not bee a lie when she had said those words, she had believed those words till the moment she had being to fallen out of love, again.
Eleanor watched the man, his outraged pacing taking him off the building six storeys down; she was never cold to watch them go. But she was never quite as sad as she now was, either. A part of her wished she could have given him a chance, another chance to hold the flame permanent in her heart, but once she fell out of love it never came back. There had been absolutely nothing wrong about this man she had let go, he had done absolutely nothing wrong to put down that flame she had once felt towards this man, and yet the flame had gone down till it just had faded away. It was that she had once hoped too that he could have offered her the one thing everybody wanted in their lives; love to consume them and passion to bring them adventure. One that would last more than a mere fling of her heart. Love everlasting.
Now it was that she wanted it no longer, she no longer wanted aimlessly to fall in love to just to be fallen out of it again just as quickly as it had come. Eleanor was moving on to another place, moving on to another life and she intended to make it one that would last. She no longer wanted to do exactly what she had done during the many passed years of her lifetime; she wanted to run no longer. Maybe she wanted her heart to be broken in a way she had broken others', but she didn't want to run from it any longer than she had until then.
---- The Rivers would no longer run wild, because there was nothing to run for.
