Your name is THE PSIIONIIC, and you are sick of doing the right thing. You knew, you somehow knew that it would set something off. Something byond your comprehension. At first, you tried to deny it, deny the senses of doom that were tingling in the back of your head. You had been given shit all your life, taken out of your hive upon discovery, seperated from your lusus, send to a 'training camp' only to be later bought as a battery for a factory. Just this once, you could allow yourself some happiness, right?
When you first met him, you were starstruck. He wasnt too tall, that large cloak looking just a bit too big on him, nubby little horns like you had never seen them before poking forth from two holes cut into the leather, and two piercing red eyes starring sightlessly into the crowd. But it wasnt mainly his appearance that spoke to you, no, it was what he preached. About a world, where everyone could live peacefully together, about a world where there wasnt any kind of slavery, where trolls of all castes would cooperate to reach thier goals. It inspired you, it made you want to be truly free for the first time in your life. It gave you something to fight for.
Then, one night, you broke free from your shackles, laying down your title as a helmsman and battery, taking up the name you now go by. The Psiioniic. Psionics were all you ever knew how to operate, all you ever knew how to do. So you supposed it was an almost obvious choise.
Traveling was the first thing on your mind, seeing a bit of Alternia, meeting other trolls, getting to know the workings of other things then just psionic powers. But as you quickly realised, Alternia definitley wasnt the paradise that the cloaked troll had preached about. Everywhere you went, you were met with hostility. There wasnt a single night that you didnt have to fend off trolls trying to catch and sell you, not one instance in which you were able to walk down a street and not be called an colorful array of slurs and nicknames.
It was horrible. That was, until you met him again. It was a rather big gathering on the main square of a small town. Every troll of this town had come to listen as it seemed, you had barley been able to come through to the front. But when you did, it was worth it. There he was again, standing tall and proud on a small stage, talking about how all trolls were created equal, how they all looked up to the same two moons at night, breathed the same air, how they should start looking at things that were the same instead of at whats different. Once again, you felt yourself swept away at his words. From this moment on, you made a point to travel along his path, attending everyone of his sermons.
Eventually, you began to notice two other trolls traveling alongside him. Two female trolls, a rather tall Jadeblood, who was, to say in the least, rather intimidating, you would'nt want to get on her bad side at least. And on the other hand, there was a small but athletic looking oliveblood, standing in the background and happily seeming to scribble down everything the blind preacher said. Signless, as you would later call him, never seemed to let anyone come up to the stage where he was preaching but those two. As you began to monitor them more closley, you came to the realisation that they must have been his companions. Quadrantmates, perhaps.
The thought let your bloodpusher sink lightly, you wouldnt want to admit it, but you have never been crushing on a troll this much since the time you had travled with a nice if not a little strange bugrundyblood for a while. But then again, the female you had been traveling with had vanished almost instantly as you approached the next town, never to be seen again. Signless, however, was almost a constant in your life by now, even if the redblooded troll might not have known then.
One evening, when you had found yourself standing in the front row of yet another sermon, you caught his eye. It made your breath catch in your throat for a moment and you were pretty sure your bloodpusher just skipped a beat. He shot you a smile before letting his eyes wander elsewhere again, but you would perhaps never forget the way his lips curled up slightly, those bright red eyes starring right into your own discolored ones. You knew that there was no way he could have seen you, from the way you knew things worked, his bright red eyes meant that he was blind, he couldnt have been smiling at you. But you liked to think he did.
After the sermon was over, you couldnt bring yourself to walk away just yet. Usually, you would have searched yourself a nice tree or perhaps even a cave to find shelter in during the day, lest you wanted to be burned to a crisp. But that night, you couldnt seem to move your feet, the appendages seeming to be glued to the ground. Soon enough, you saw the three trolls leave the stage, but before they turned to walk away, Signless turned around, once more catching your eye. It was a weird sort of one-sided eye contact, as you couldnt help but stare back at him, feeling a little awkward. The feeling only got worse when the other two turned around as well to see where Signless was starring off to, catching sight of you as well.
He seemed to whisper something to the oliveblood, who seemed a bit confused before murmuring something back at him. You decided that this had been a bit too awkward, and turned to walk away. But before you could do so, you heard him calling out, clinging to the Jadebloods arm who led him over to you.
"Hey! My Disciple t9ld me that she had seen y9u at quite a few 9f my serm9ns. May I ask what your name is 6r9ther?"
At that moment, you could basically feel your bloodpusher thumping in your ears. He was talking to you, Signless, the troll you had looked up to, who had given you a reason to travel and fight once more, was talking to you and acknowledging your exsistance. You felt a little more then intimidated by the intense glare that was shot your way by the Jadeblood, as if you would jump and kill the redblood any second. However, eventually, your found your tongue again, stammering a little as you answered.
"M-My tiitle i2 the P2iioniic. 2iir. II havent had a name in a long tiime."
God damnit, thinking about it, you wished you had sunk into the ground just then, it had been so awkward, you had been so awkward. However, your response seemed to be well recieved, as you heard a low chuckle from the redblood, the glare from the Jadeblood softening lightly, and shortly after, you heard a giggle from the Oliveblood.
"N9 need t9 call me sir. Signless is just fine. Say, why d9 y9u attend 9ur serm9ns Psii9niic?"
You couldnt help but fidget at that. There were more then just one reason you attended the sermons. For one he gave you something to fight for again, but on the other hand, well, you adored him in various ways. Some of them not quite chaste.
"II....iit giive2 me 2omethiing to 2triife for. II want two 2ee that world you preached about 2o many tiime2."
That seemed to be just the right thing to say, you got another smile, and an invitation to come and rest with them.
Thats how it all started. And now you are here. Here being in a cave, a few sweeps later, with Signless curled into you and softly weeping. You knew why, he didnt even have to tell you anything, the moment you saw the olive blood that was splattered across his cloak, you just knew. Dis was dead, killed by a highblood while she was on a hunt, as you would later hear from Rosa. It hurt, it hurt so much. But what perhaps hurt the most was the way Signless wept into your chest, sobbing small exclamations of why he should have told her to stay here, how he should have done something to keep her here.
You just knew that something bad would happen if you let yourself have this little bit of happiness for once. And it did happen. Because you wanted Signless, wanted the slightest bit of time with him, your friend, the one you called your sister died. Because you wanted Signless for yourself, because your allowed yourself to be selfish, you lost a part of your family. That night, you and Sign just curled into eachother, comforting, sobbing, and mourning the loss of your sister together. Dolorosa later came in, she was shaken up as well, but she was better at hiding it, doing her best to comfort you two as well.
From there, everything just went downhill. Signless seemed to have lost most of his passion, his sermons less the flaming passionate preaching, and more the monotonous repeating of the same words over and over again. Less and less trolls would come to listen, less and less followers would ask you about his visions for a better world, until, eventually, it all stopped.
When you set foot into the large bustling city, where you usually would have been greeted with mostly open arms, lowbloods wanting to hear stories of your travels, you were nistead greeted with indifferent trolls, as the highblooded guards of the city quickly noticed you. You all lost your fighting spirit, and so, it didnt take long until the caught you. You yourself tired everything, you blasted highbloods away left and right, trying to shield Signless and Dolorosa from the worst of the blows, but eventually, your powers gave in, and you collapsed. You still remember the panicked voice of Signless calling your name when the crackling of psionics suddenly stopped.
The next thing you remember was waking up in a cell, a psionic surpressing collar around your neck, hands cuffed behind your back, chained to a wall like a rabid animal. You could faintly make out the shape of Dolorosa further away, looking in no better state then yourself, hands chained behind her back, most likley to a wall as well. But what let the alarm bells go off in your head was the absence of a certain blind mutant. Signless wasnt here, Dolorosa was still unconcious by the looks of it, so you couldnt ask her where they had taken him.
However, your questioon almost seemed to answer itself when you heard an ear-piercing scream ring through the dark halls of the dungeon. It made the hairs of the back of your neck stand up, and you wanted nothing more then to stand up and go search for the source. You knew it was Signless, you would recognize his voice anywhere, even when it was wrapped with pain like this. You struggled aginst your bonds, pale yellow tears streaming down your eyes, crying out his name, trying to let him know that you were here, that you would come for him once you got out of here.
The thing was, you couldnt. Without your psionics, you were a weak excuse for a troll. You never bothered training much, with being able to float things everywhere and fight off enemies easily. You cursed yourself for that right now, you wanted nothing more then the strenght of a highblood to break these chains, get out of this cell, and end whoever was torturing your love.
You endured the screams for almost an hour, screaming with him when your voicebox allowed it. Tears were constantly streaming down your face as you realised that there was nothing you could do. Somewhere along the way, Dolorosa must have woken up, because you heard her screeching in anger, and the rattling of chains as she tried to break free as well.
About two hours in, the screams suddenly stopped. You thought the sound of pained and scared screeching was bad, but the sober silence that now settled over the dungeon was way worse. The only sounds now were your quiet sobbing, and occasional angry screech of a concerned mother for her wriggler. Eventually, there was a long bang at the other side of the hall, the sound of something being dragged across the floor, and then the loud clank of the metal door opening. Light flooded the room, so much that you had to turn away and squeeze your eyes shut. There was a disgusted snarl, before there was a thud of something being thrown into the room. Or rather someone.
As the door closed and you dared to look up, you wish you hadnt. There lay Signless, or at least, from what you could make out from the frame. The bit of moonlight that filted through the barred window hit him directly, making the various bruises and bleeding cuts clearly visible. His face seemed to be swollen, and he was motionless. That was what scared you the most. He wasnt moving, had they killed him? No, they couldnt have, he was slated for public execution next night.
You make a quiet, almost inaudible sound, calling for him, wanting him to speak to you, to move, to react in anyway he could. But he didnt, he remained motionless, and you could hear Dolorosa calling for her wriggler, screeching at him to get up in terror. It just barley reached you over the drumming of blood rushing through your ears. This couldnt be right, you had lost Disciple already, your sister, you couldnt lose your love as well. This couldnt be true. You were just dreaming, you had to be. This all had to be some kind of fucked up day terror, you would wake up with him curled into your any moment now.
But that wasnt what happened. What happened was that the next night, he was dragged out of the cell again, and a few hours later, they led you and Dolorosa outside onto a large cleared space, the only thing visible aside from the masses of trolls assembled to watch your beloveds execution being a large slab of rock, with chains hanging from it, and your beloved was dangling just from those chains. You screamed his name as you saw him, only to recieve a harsh jab in the back of he head from the violetblood that was leading you along.
You and Dolorosa were forced to kneel in the front row, almost at his feet. You wince as you notice the burning hot irons that were bidning his hands together, burning the flesh at his wrists, most likley causing him immense pain. The urge to jump up, run to him and yank him down from that rock overtook you, but even if you wouldnt be wearing this psionic surpressing collar, there was little to no chance of you reaching him before the guards caught on and rammed a spear right through your back.
Sobbing, you watched, listened as he spoke his last sermon, the voice that was used to be filled for the love of his people sounding so angry, so hateful torwards everything. You could make out the few pale red tears that slipped from his eyes as he spoke, spoke about the birth of a second Signless, someone who would bear his anger and pain, someone who would bring about the devastation of the planet as soon as he pupated. And then he spoke of that wonderful world again, looking up into the sky with sightless eyes, retelling the tale one more time, of how trolls used to live alongside eachother peacefully, how they all worked together to archieve great things.
Yet, before he was even finished, the Empress gave the signal, and the lethal arrow was shot, right through his bloodpusher, ending him nigh instantly. You cried out for him one last time, trying to break free. But it was too late, he went slack, his wonderful red dripping own his leggings, pooling at the ground. You screamed and sobbed as you were dragged away, fighting the guards every step of the time.
They wouldnt kill you, you know. The Empress had plans for you and Dolorosa. Signless mother was to be sold as a slave, spending the last of her life in servitude for leaving the brooding caverns in the first place.
You, on the other hand, were to become the personal battery of the Empress main battleship. A Helmsman. The Helmsman.
But you couldnt care less what was to become of you, with Signless, perhaps the last part that cared with killed as well. As they dragged you away, they dragged away an empty shell of your former self. Your passion, your will to fight, it all had been extinguished together with the flames that burned the Signless body.
As it is now, you are the royal Helmsman, bound into the battleship of the Empress herself. Your life now consists of 0's and 1's. Of parts that had to repaired and intruders that had to be spotted and removed. And of course, of a ship that needed to be powered and propelled across the universe.
Your name is THE HELMSMAN, and you wish you had done the right thing.