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Working With Death (Extensive Brief Guide)

Inspired by this post I made recently! Please note that this is not an all-encompassing guide.

First and foremost, being a death worker can come in many ways. Whether you're grieving and turn to a deity, been harmed by a spirit and looking to protect others, are a nurse and decided to find the best way to therapize clients, or what-have-you, each approach, journey, path, practice... are all going to look different. Before doing anything in this post, please make sure you have thorough layered protections in place.

Secondly, this post is an extensive brief guide. What does that mean? I go over LOTS of topics related to working with death, but none are all-encompassing and they serve mostly as an introduction. Please do further research after this post, and I hope you learn something in one of the many sections I've noted down. (Please note: I do heavily speak on deity work / worship in this post, but there are other things included.)

Table of Contents

Deities

Paths / Statuses

Connection to Death

Worshipping vs. Working With A God / Spirit

Choosing A Death Deity

Communication

Describing Death Deities

The River Styx

The Kidnapping of Persephone

Protection Practices

Cleansing Practices

Healing Workings

Graveyard Etiquette

Spirit Attachments

Psychopomp Work

Divination

Ancestor Work + More Spirit Communication Tips

Celebrations of Death / Death Holidays

Death Work With the Living

Click to open:

Deities

There's a long list of spirits you could work with when it comes to death work - infernals, ancestors, demons, angels, etc - but working with a deity is what I tend to see most commonly, so I thought I'd make a short, condensed list. Most of these deities have some domain or another in death, but a small few just have loose associations based on lore or traditions. (Please note: Be mindful be working with these deities as some have very specific customs in place, or are even closed / require initiation. Please also be aware that "South American" just refers to South of the United States and may include Central America, I'm sorry I'm terrible at geography and as a Native American we were mostly chill with each other anyways / these barriers didn't really exist culturally and perhaps sometimes still don't LOL)

Hades (Greek)

Thanatos (Greek)

Pluto (Roman)

Mors (Roman)

Charun (Etruscan, Roman)

Anubis (Kemetic)

Hathor (Kemetic)

Morana (Slavic)

Kali (Hindu)

Yama (Hindu)

Sidapa (Filipino)

Magwayen (Filipino)

Pandaki (Filipino)

The Morrígan / Mórrígan / Morrígu (Celtic)

Hel (Norse)

Odin (Norse)

Rán (Norse)

Santa Muerte (South American Indigenous / Abrahamic)

Tío Supay (South American Indigenous)

Hun-Came (South American Indigenous)

Vucub-Came (South American Indigenous)

San La Muerte (South American Indigenous / Abrahamic)

Cizin (South American Indigenous)

San Pascualito (South American Indigenous / Abrahamic)

Xolotl (South American Indigenous)

Mictecacihuatl / Lady Death / Lady of the Dead (South American Indigenous)

Mot (Caananite)

Nergal (Mesopotamian)

Ereshkigal (Mesopotamian)

Paths / Statuses

Worshipper: Someone who worships a deity / spirit / etc,

Practitioner: Someone who works with a deity / spirit / etc. Sometimes also meaning a worshipper.

Devotee: Someone who has devoted themselves to a deity / spirit / etc. This is usually the next step after practitioner work.

Priest / Priestess: The recognized Priest or Priestess of a deity / spirit / etc. This requires recognition from the deity / spirit, if not the community as a whole. A religious (sometimes spiritual) leader and knowledgeable person to go to for guidance, among other definitions.

Living Psychopomp: A mortal who performs psychopomp (guide of souls) work, such as helping spirits move on to the afterlife.

Godspouse: A high form of devotion, usually done through sacred and / or closed rituals. An intimate form of devotion (not always sexual).

Oracle: A spiritual or religious member of the community who performs high level spirit work and divination work; must be recognized by the deity / spirit if not the community as a whole.

Diviner / Medium: Someone who performs divination work (such as hearing / speaking to spirits, tarot readings, etc).

You can learn more about what an Oracle is compared to what a Medium is if you click this post.

Connection to Death

As living mortal beings, death is both foreign and familiar. It's something we can't usually fully conceptualize or comprehend with 100% certainty, other than the fact that it happens. It's something we witness, that affects who are we to the bone, but it's intimate, harrowing, anxiety-inducing, oddly comforting, and / or disorienting.

Many death deities were revered as final greeters to our eternal home, or travelers who help us along our journey. We know these stories from speaking with the dead, learning about the dead, and finding pieces of our living world that resonate with the concept of death in our lenses.

In this way, death is natural, but it's something still pushed away from us and that we look away from until we're exposed to it, whether as a witness or someone experiencing it (usually for the first and only time in our lifetimes, but not always). However, when we go through these experiences, we're still viewing death through the lens of someone alive, through the lens of someone who may appreciate or not appreciate death but still knows it will one day be a strong truth in our lives if it hasn't been already. Whether we are rageful or peaceful about it, death is a critical part of living.

This is one of many reasons why most people don't work with death deities or perform death work, but also exactly why some people do.

If we aren't interested in dealing with death, we move on. We pray to a god of divine light, or a goddess of farming and fertility. We respect the lords of our underworlds and the grim reapers who carry our family home, or we fear the darkness and the unknown associated with them.

Those of us who lean into the concept of death, death work and related beliefs / practices, are often the people who try to live the most. Whether it be wanting to understand what awaits us or what our passed loves ones went through, or wanting to appreciate life through a new lens, we find a sense of belonging in what once was (and still is, just in a different way now). Whether it be transitions, zests for the everyday, or something else, we are either fascinated or otherwise have the urge to learn more about what we have no yet every part of: death, dying, and what would come next (if anything).

As you can tell, working with death is not a light or always easy subject. Though it can be fluffed up, viewed with sensitivity, and gentle or heartwarming, it's still a serious topic and experience. As such, being a death worker is often a commit to bring oneself closer to death as a living mortal. (This is why there are more safety practices in place for death workers.) Whether you are a hospice care nurse, or a devotee of Hades of himself, when we interact with death as living beings, it's something to weigh. It weighs on us in positive ways, and in ways that are - respectfully enough - not appetizing for most people. Whether it be facing death, working with spirits, intense cleansings, changing our diets and laundry routines, or something else, it's important to know that our connection to death is both unique and intimate, both soothing and dangerous, both fragile and bold.

If you'd like to learn more about how death was viewed in some of ancient Greece, check out this post. If you'd like to learn more about connection to death and death work tips / info / practices, check out this post.

Worshipping vs. Working With A God / Spirit

In some practices and paths, worshipping and working with a deity is "the same thing." However, in many traditions - including my Greek (and other) cultural teachings - they are different.

Worshipping: basically as it sounds, this involves worship. You may see the deity / spirit as higher than you (this could mean more worthy, more powerful, more knowledgeable, whatever it means for you). You may pray to them, give them offerings, forge an altar and dedicate it to them, etc. They are a deity / spirit you may revere, be inspired by, or try to live by the values of / embody. In essence, you honour them by recognizing them for what they are, and show your passion or appreciation through various means.

Working: transactional. Greek religion is traditionally a transactional religion, and in many other teachings, all - god & mortal alike - are equal, equitable, and balanced, whether it be in power, need, care, ability, worth, knowledge, etc. This usually involves things like making deals, signing contracts, making trades, etc. "If you do this for me, I do this for you" is often how it's approached.

Working with a deity does not inherently involve worship and vise-versa, but they often go hand in hand for some people which is why they're seen as "the same" sometimes. Such as religion and spirituality - they are distinct, but often intertwined for some individuals. Whether you work with a deity, worship them, both or even neither, you are valid and that practice is honorable.

More on the subject: Worshipping a deity is sometimes less personal because you aren't inherently speaking directly with the deity. You aren't technically a practitioner, in many / some traditions. Of course, there's few restrictions and restraints on this - I believe strongly in nuance and outliers - but in general, worship is one-sided (aside from perhaps being favored or appreciated by the deity) whereas working with a deity is a building relationship. Depending on your approach, either could reflect values of bonding, trust, admiration, etc, and either could be recognized as a strong and fruitful relationship. However, working with a deity often means getting to know them more or even being able to rely on them for more things, such as spells / workings, avid protection, and so on. Again, every relationship is unique and personal, so I can't say anything is one explicit way for all worshippers or workers, but this is a general gist that I hope wasn't too convoluted / was articulate enough to digest with ease.

Remember: please keep in mind that there are additional safety protocols recommended for giving offerings to death deities. You can check out this post on safe alternatives to eating death deity offerings, and if it interests you, this post on disposing of food offerings in general (has death deity specifications included). This post is about altars for deities / spirits you may not worship, and lastly, this post is about secret altar options (for if you're practicing in secret / private / hiding).

Choosing A Death Deity

If you're interested in worshipping or working with (I'm going to start abbreviating this to W/WW for ease of typing) a death deity, it's important to be mindful of safe ways to be introduced.

Usually, W/WW with a death deity as the first deity you've approached is not recommended as it's more advanced.

Now, I want to be clear: anyone can begin with any deity they resonate with (as long as the deity is okay with such, of course). That includes death deities. The reason why death deities are not usually recommended is because most beginners are not being guided, which can lead beginners to unnecessarily risking or even harming themselves.

Working with a death deity is often more dangerous if you don't know what you're doing, and usually encompasses additional practices as I mentioned above to ensure your safety and wellbeing as a living person. It is best to be guided by someone - whether it be a person or another spirit - if you're interested in this kind of work. It is not necessary for every beginner, but highly recommended. (What does this mean? It means that there are often additional safety protocols in place and additional knowledge that can help you safely navigate this kind of worship or work. You do not have to take this as a sign of discouragement when it comes to reaching out to a death deity first, but it is something important to still be considerate of.)

One way to initially reach out to a death deity can involve other practitioners and deities as well. Not only should you know what you're getting into, but death deities are typically very busy (sometimes more busy than other deities / spirits in some beliefs). Someone helping you in reaching out not only ensures your safety (and makes the vetting process much easier ngl) but it shows the deity that you're willing to do what it takes to work seriously with them / their domains. It shows that you're knowledgeable, can take the initiative to do the grimy work and ask for help / self-advocate as needed, and shows that you respect them as the beings they are.

It's actually safer so that you don't run into a trickster or other harmful spirits, and so that they know about you. This is one reason why gods of the underworld were often worked with but not worshipped as much. When opening yourself up to that connection, it's not just death deities that can jump on the phoneline so to speak. Of course, any spirit can interfere with any deity-practitioner connection, but it's more likely when it comes to death deities as they don't respond as often. They are more concerned with, well, the dead, and while practitioners are valuable to them, the approach of meeting them by introduction from another deity / practitioner helps in more ways than just one.

If you'd like help identifying a spirit / deity, I offer an ID service that you can learn about in this post (and you can learn about my consultations, which are free, in this post). You can learn more about tricksters in this post.

Communication

Communication with death deities looks quite similar to communication with other deities and spirits, but there are some warning signs to consider. Before communicating with them, it's important that you learn about them - this is a sign of respect, good work ethics and commitment. This is also why it's important to vett a deity - it showcases your commitment to your own safety, respecting the deity, ensuring you learned more than just basic blog-post information about them, shows you're committed to doing things without worry of laziness, and so on. (If you're worried about vetting as a low-energy and / or chronically ill person, don't worry, there are still ways. It's important to make time, but you can lean on community and alternative methods as well.)

Methods / Divination:

Tarot? How about tar - no? + Oracle Cards?

Tarot is a great method of communication if you are advanced enough in the practice. Energy work, spirit work, cross-referencing, psychological work, prophetic work, and other practices, can all go into your tarot practice. However, even the deities / spirits get frustrated if you don't know what you're doing because it is an inconvenient method of communication. It's basically charades with no hints. It's very easy to misinterpret what they're trying to tell you when you use methods like tarot. When it comes to Oracle cards, those are often intended for spirit communication so are sometimes more efficient, but they pretty much have the same con as tarot does.

Pendulum

Using a pendulum is a great way to communicate with a deity / spirit. It's convenient, easy to understand, and you can make a pendulum out of almost anything (even a pencil or button on the end of a string, or a peace of jewelry). One main thing to keep in mind when utilizing a pendulum is your position. It's common that we invoke involuntary movements when using a pendulum, it's something we do psychologically and physically, but there are positions that you can sit in that actually minimize the likelihood of this. That in combination with enhancing your intuition and a willingness to be critical is going to come in handy when it comes to pendulum work, and really any spiritual practice.

Spirit Classifications / Types + Spirit Communication Basics

It's important to learn about different spirits - not just the deity or spirit you're trying to contact - so that you can identify who you've made contact with and verify. Aside from that, if you're interested in being a death worker, you're likely going to need to know some of that stuff sooner or later anyways. Once that is "done" (it never truly is, but once you've learned a lot more) you can move on to spirit communication basics. This includes how to safely and appropriately / respectfully communicate with different spirits - deity, fae, what-have-you - including values, safety tips, being casual and formality, how a spirit / deity may like to be referred to as, loopholes with deals / prayers, etc.

Other Options

There are, of course, other methods of communication you can embark on, but those three are some big ones. Others may include prophetic and dream work, other forms of divination such as reading runes / burned wax or wood / etc, or even enhancing spirit-sensing abilities such as hearing, seeing or feeling spirits, energy sensitivity, etc.

Warning Signs:

When it comes to death deities, there are some things that people note as "signs" but in my teachings are actually dangerous and not a sign of that deity.

For example, many people believe that they're left the corpse of a small animal or insect after they've reached out to a death deity.

Aside from the potential of that being mundane, it is highly unlikely that a deity will do this unless they've already witnessed death work and values of a death worker on your end (and even then, it's still rare). The bodies of those who pass are to be respected, not used as tools or methods of messaging. They died where they died for a reason, and part of the reason for leaving the body there is so that a psychopomp can identify their spirit if the spirit needs help. Aside from that, many bodies are buried or given specific prayers (and other rituals / customs take place too). It's just very disrespectful in many ways, I could go on and on. But if that doesn't sell you, think about it like this:

How would you feel if the body of a twenty-two-year-old was dumped on your doormat? How would the family of that person feel? How would your family feel having seen that? Been exposed to the energy of that corpse, been exposed to the corpse physically in general?

What makes you different than an animal or insect?

Not much. And we don't see Hades or Mors leaving dead human bodies at the doorsteps of interested practitioners.

Another warning sign: A deity will rarely ask you for something intimate or extremely personal, such as a beloved childhood stuffed animal or your grandmother's pearls. Deities, including death deities, rarely want to take you from you in such a manner, knowing how valuable both life and death are.

(You can find more general communication tips in the Ancestor Work section. You can also check out this post for some basic "do and don't" tips in regards to spirit / deity communication. This post has information about vetting, which is a highly recommended thing to do when you first communicate with a deity / spirit)

Describing Death Deities

Death deities, just like any other deity, spirit, or human being, are autonomous and individual. They are unique to themselves. However, they also sometimes share traits - personality, role, or other - and often work at Shelter (energy force)'s hearth.

I've been asked many questions about different death deities lately, so I thought I'd pick out Thanatos, Pluto, and Mors to share a little bit about them here as well.

Mors:

My response: i would say he is incredibly kind and dutiful. he is calm but can turn things up if necessary. i suppose it's hard to describe, just as anyone's personality is, because it depends on situation and there's a million words to use haha. one of my favorite things about working with him though his how much of a zest for life he can bring to a worker, just like thanatos. he truly does give the best advice to the lonely and depressed.

If you'd like to learn more about Mors, check out our community Discord server Fountain of Rome.

Thanatos:

This is an excerpt from this post.

A lot of people think of death-related deities (especially psychopomps) and picture hungry-for-tragedy, blood-thirsty, or spooky beings. Even Thanatos, peaceful death, is often depicted as a sorrowful soul, one who only comes at the worst moments of our lives, one who mortals try to avoid at all costs.

Working with a death deity to begin with is a closer connection to the Underworld and the spiritual world than working with other deities, but it can also be a profound way to learn how to properly appreciate and balance life and all of the funky experiences we have as humans.

The thing about deities like Thanatos is that they don't want you to die, especially prematurely. It is hard work that they do, and they have emotions and feelings about it too. It is honorable work, there's reasons Greeks have traditional rituals when it comes to funerals that reflect the pain and intensity of emotions like grief.

Thanatos is someone who can help you learn the importance of life through the importance of death. To die is to have lived. Unless you're stagnant in your life, in which case you died twice instead. When it is your time, he or another psychopomp will be there to safely walk you to where you belong, but until then, collect stories he can listen to when you make that walk, alright? /soft

If you're struggling or in need, please check out this post which is a guide to alternatives of self-harm. Please note I am not a qualified doctor, but I did refer to my psychology studies and qualified doctors when making that post.

Pluto:

Pluto is a very willful, quiet, humble god. He is kind, but also relentless if he needs to be. He carries his duties with strength, and puts a lot of meaning into what he does / wants and why with his practitioners.

He has many associations and fun fact, but I thought I'd share some offerings he prefers:

Coins and collectibles

Crystals, fossils and cool rocks

Dried herbs (protective herbs, soothing herbs, herbs that grow underground / don't sprout or grow when above ground, bay leaves, and basil)

Food (like dried / cooked fish)

Candles (black preferred, scents like cinnamon and woodsy scents preferred)

Incense (cinnamon and woodsy scents preferred)

I have a deity guide on Pluto if you're interested in purchasing (I also do ones on different deities on request and have a few others available, such as one about Apollo). Please let me know if so! You can also learn more about him in this post, and you can learn more about a few other harmful spirits (some related to death) in Greek beliefs in this post. Additionally, you can learn about the differences between Greek and Roman deities in this post. Lastly, you can check out this post which is basically just a list of Roman Polytheism resources (hopefully will be updated soon).

The River Styx

This post is a direct transcribing of this post. The first half is written by @another-daughter-of-hades, and I will note when my half begins. All of it is juicy information!

The Rivers of the Underworld part 1 - River Styx (not by me)

There are few names that stir the soul of a devotee of Hades quite like Styx. Her current flows not merely through myth, but through the marrow of the Underworld itself, dark, sacred, unyielding. To speak of her is to speak of sovereignty, of boundaries, of what binds gods and mortals alike. She is the current that separates the living from the dead, the known from the unknown, the safe shore from the realm of the Lord Below.

The River Styx; Στύξ, meaning “hatred” or “abhorrence” was no gentle brook, no whispering spring. Her waters are dread incarnate. To touch them is death; to swear upon them is binding. Even the Olympians, in their shining arrogance, bent their knees to her authority. For when a god swore upon the Styx and broke that oath, they were struck down, voiceless, breathless, stripped of nectar and ambrosia for nine long years. Thus, she was not merely a river, but a law woven into the bones of creation.

The poets spoke of five rivers in the Underworld Acheron, Cocytus, Phlegethon, Lethe, and Styx, each a thread in Death’s great tapestry. Yet Styx is the one that commands silence in her presence. Her flow encircles the Underworld nine times, like a serpent guarding the heart of all things. Some say she springs from the highest mountains of Arcadia, plunging from earthly heights to the realm of the dead. Others whisper that she is the very boundary between soul and spirit that when we cross her, we shed not only our bodies, but all illusions of control.

To Hades, she is both gatekeeper and guardian. To Persephone, she is the first sound heard when descending into his arms, that deep, steady pulse beneath the stones. When I speak her name in devotion, I feel her chill ripple through my blood, reminding me that devotion is not a soft thing. It is fierce, unrelenting, and honest as the Styx herself.

Sometimes, when I pray beside my altar, I imagine her voice low, dark, and feminine, curling through the shadows. She does not soothe. She steadies. She asks: Will you be faithful? Will you cross with open eyes? Will you honor the boundary that binds you to him? And I whisper yes, yes, always yes, though the air tastes like iron and the candles flicker with warning.

To honor Styx is to honor sacred commitment. She is the embodiment of the vow, the fierce integrity of the Underworld. Devotees who work within Hades’ domain may offer black stones, saltwater, or a drop of one’s own blood upon the soil, symbolic gestures of binding and remembrance. For she watches all who swear, all who promise.

So when I think of her, when I feel that pulse beneath the earth, that sacred hum that belongs to Hades’ domain I do not fear her. I honor her. She is the current that carries me home, the voice that reminds me:

To love the Lord of the Dead is to know the weight of your own word, and to never cross the Styx without meaning it.

The original user (not me) then goes on to revere Lord Hades.

The River Styx (Adding On Info) (by me)

I honestly could not describe this any better myself. To swear an oath on the River Styx herself is to commit to following through, or otherwise risk the dishonor and consequences of unbalancing, of your word falling meaningless and silent on the ears of those you love and fight for and may one day need. I believe in teaching children that our words carry weight to others (though of course, I don't believe she'll necessarily hold a child to their oaths on her, as children don't always understand the weight of such an oath just yet).

I could go on and on about morality, but I wanted to take the time to add to this post some things to consider and some of my own knowledge about Styx. She is a strong being, but still kind. She is not nice, but kind, and I think that's an important difference. She stands for something, she moves with honor, and she is bold. She does not shy away from doing the right thing in accordance to her very own name. She understands who she is and does as fitting for her, just as all autonomous beings, and I believe the connections we make with her through swearing oaths on her name can hold profound weight both within this individual bond and overall to other mortals / spirits.

How to Swear An Oath

The weight of an oath on the River Styx is often profound, or at least reflective of our own words and values. Because of this, a lot of people hesitate on even making that oath (which is understandable and truly respectable). However, if you're still someone who wants to venture into that territory but unsure how to do it safely, this is an incomplete list of tips and information that may help you.

Draft it up first!

Firstly, make a draft. Be very careful of loopholes. Articulation is important, especially if your intentions or energy aren't inherently clear. This keeps you safe as well as anyone else involved in this oath.

Loopholes come in all different shapes and forms. It can be as simple as "I will try to do XYZ" or making sure your words can't be misconstrued if looked at through a different lens. Styx is an understanding river, but still their own being and willful.

Be careful acknowledging Styx.

Spirits can hear our thoughts and acknowledge our intentions / energy put into something. If you're still drafting it up, I recommend excluding the phrase "I swear on the River Styx" (and the like) until the final draft is ready to speak. This is because a lot of the time when we're focusing on getting it right, we're still pouring our intentions and energy into it because we do intend to make the oath. If you're not skilled or advanced enough in that kind of intention and energy work, it's best to add key phrases like that on later, so that you're able to work out the kinks and take your time reflecting on what you've written before actually making the oath. Being mindful is most important here, and as always, this doesn't necessarily apply to everybody.

To learn more about spirits being able to hear your thoughts, check out this post.

Be mindful of your ways out.

Of course, no one should make an oath that they don't mean or intend to follow through with. However, life happens and things get in the way. Just as you should be mindful of loopholes, you should be mindful of your ways out too. For example:

Did you set a timeframe?

Yes -> Holds you accountable to that specific time, might motivate you to actually follow through. However, also leaves you at risk of repercussions if you can't do it by then.

No -> You can do it any time (even as a spirit), but the longer you wait, the more suspicious it may seem. if it is not suspicious, then also keep in mind that not setting a timeframe can leave easy room for things to keep getting in the way, for you to forget or not remember how serious it is, etc etc etc. It also might be seen as disrespectful if you can do it sooner but choose not to out of neglect. It doesn't mean you're breaking the oath, but it could affect your relationship with Styx nonetheless. (As most things, this is nuanced.)

The above is just one example out of many to ponder and look into. Being mindful of all terms of the oath is important and safest, in my humble opinion.

Styx knows.

Styx knows who breaks their oaths and who doesn't. She is understanding of some breaks, and others she relentlessly delivers the appropriate consequences. Be aware that she is also aware, that you are working with another being when making an oath.

The Kidnapping of Persephone

The story behind the kidnapping of Persephone is profound and rich in oral teachings and values. In fact, this story was not meant to be focused on as a kidnapping story at all, and stockholm syndrome was not even a concern at the time of its common everyday tellings.

The story of Hades kidnapping Persephone is actually a teaching on how death does not discriminate - it takes all, even the young, beautiful, and innocent.

The story gave us teachings on gratefulness and valuing life - noted by the flowers and freedom of Persephone before her kidnapping - as well as commentary on parenting (be mindful and care for your children) and grief (death happens often, and naturally, but death was seen as a "liminal space" in many ways, regions and times of ancient Greek antiquity, so this story was about the toll grief can take and what a mother may long for when she loses someone as precious as her own child, especially a daughter).

Hades was seen as the final welcomer, the greeter to our final home where we all belong equally, the Underworld. Because of this, he was often reversed as warm and kind. The reason why this story was not as warm and kind (depending on variation) - aside from lore and mythology not completely reflecting religious / spiritual beliefs, views and practices - is because it's meant to follow the rhythm of a living person, not a dead one. The dead will often welcome their own, the generations that came after them, with open arms - but the living will often scream and cry at the loss, and feel immense emotional pain and passion at such a significant change in their perceivably short lives. It is a story told about the dead and by the dead, but the lessons are for the living and so it is the living's job to pass them down.

With that, please do check out this post for more philosophy on that topic. It's a powerful quote shared by my lovely, beautiful, amazing boyfriend.

Some of our greatest teachers are the ones who are no longer living.

Please note that I will also likely put out a more extensive post about this subject / section in the future!

Protection Practices

There are a variety of protection practices on can engage in. Some are simple, others more complex. No matter what floats your boat, I recommend very thorough and layered protections. In my honest opinion, a simple open spell jar and salt on a working isn't enough.

There are lots of things you can do for protections. Here's three of the most powerful protective methods in my experience:

Your own energy. Your own energy will be one of the most powerful assets you have, and it costs nothing. Even if you're chronically ill, paralyzed, mute, there are ways to protect yourself with nothing but yourself - singing, dancing, mental wards, dreams, and so on.

Sage. Using white sage is a closed practice, but one some people can learn respectfully directly from a Native person. However, regular sage works well also, and is recommended for those not initiated / recognized in the practice.

Mirror silver (also known as shaman silver or Mongolian silver). This silver reflects negative energy and spirits, is very protective, and some believe it to even be purifying. It's a huge asset for day-to-day work, all you do is wear it (just not when you sleep).

Links to posts where you can learn more about protections: Hellenist Protections | combatting new ageist forced conformity and misinformation A Witch / Practitioner's Reminder to Love the Colour Black Low-Cost Protections Protection Tips for Beginners The Sacred Home PROTECTION PRACTICES for beginners! LOCKING YOUR MIRROR (A Very Brief Guide)

Cleansing Practices

Cleansing practices are really important when it comes to various forms of death work, and sometimes need to be more intense. Please note: It is understandable if cleansing isn't always accessible, but there are ways to do it safely and without materials. When it comes to grief, it is also understandable if you cannot cleanse yourself - in which case, you can ask others to help you, or depending on your teachings, just let the spirits / deity know you were struggling and they'll be understanding of such.

Reasons to cleanse when engaging with death work:

Out of respect for those who have passed (usually right before a funeral, doing a ritual, etc - understandable

Safety - it's important to cleanse yourself of excess miasma / energy of the spirits or dead, and to make sure you didn't drag in any leftover straggles (usually when returning home from funerals, graveyards or cemeteries, etc)

Regular upkeep - working with death / spirits can leave a lot of energetic residue around you and on you, so keeping up with your space, items and bodies is really important to maintain thorough wellbeing

Shedding unneeded energy - it's important to let go of things that no longer serve us, so cleansing is a way that you can get rid of energy that hurts you or is (physically and / or otherwise) weighing you down. This can also help with moving forward and be a positive sign of getting better / recovery from grief / a new chapter / positive transition / etc

Other reasons - there are lots of reasons why someone may cleanse outside of this as well, but these are the most common or helpful ones that i can think of off the top of my head lol

Healing Workings

Healing workings can make a huge difference when it comes to grief, as well as just the turmoil that some death workers may go through.

Some healing workings I recommend:

Trauma and memory suppression spell (best to do this with the OK from a mundane therapist or an Elder's guidance or something)

Energy blockage cleansings

Soothing, calming and / or comforting workings (can also be great for slowing down and going with the flow)

Nostalgia workings (can be positive for some folks)

Clarity workings (can help if you feel lost, mixed up, confused, or uncertain)

Herbalism for physical, emotional, mental, etc support

Doing things you love - this helps your spirit

Self-love or glamour spells can boost how you feel

Forgiveness workings or emotional management - though it's very normal for emotions to hit intensely, suddenly and in waves while grieving

and others! it really just depends on the individual and their specific needs / situation / etc

You can also do healing workings for others, such as spirits, but that usually takes more knowledge and training and I'll likely mention it below in the psychopomp work section.

Graveyard Etiquette

I know that the wonderful, precious, adorable @applesanoranges is going to be making a post on graveyard etiquette soon, so I will keep this section short, go check out his page ;)

Every graveyard / cemetery is different based on the culture, community, location, etc. Some are even formed in unethical ways, whereas others are incredibly sacred and not intended for the public by the family of those buried / burned there.

Below are some general rules or guidelines to follow for the average graveyard / cemetary, but all depend on specific circumstances and community and who's buried etc

Look presentable, and if not presentable, then explain to the spirits that it's not meant to disrespect them and you hope they understand. this doesn't mean you have to get out your best funeral outfit for a hot selfie (though, slay i guess if do?), it could just mean being ready to actually be present there. just showing up means a lot. try to be clean, let someone else brush your hair, and try to be cleansed before you enter, but it's understandable if these things can't happen. try to wear new or clean clothes, try to wear black for protection, and try to be with loved ones, but again, this is all incredibly nuanced.

Carry protections at all times

Do not walk over graves or where the body would be stretched out under you. Try to walk through the aisles respectfully

Try to avoid reading every single name of the graves as you pass by, as you may accidentally get their attention or disrupt them

Don't be spooked by the energy, but leave if you feel unsafe or too uncomfortable. Spirits can be friendly or not friendly, just like living people

Try to bring a gift, whether it be coins, flowers, or just your words / prayers / thoughts. This is to show respect and care, and help the spirit along their journey

If you're looking to clean graves, please ensure you've gotten permission from whoever upkeeps the graveyard / cemetery (sometimes a private business, sometimes the city government, etc) because you may need very specific materials to do so without ruining the gravestones, you may need to be there specific hours with permission, some families may request only family clean the grave, etc

Do not steal from the graveyard / cemetery - whether it be flowers, coins, or even the dirt, this is incredibly disrespectful and dishonorable

Try to either be silent or very quiet / hushed in tone. it is understandable if you end up crying and wailing, but it can also be disruptive. if possible, try to wait outside of the graveyard / cemetery until you're ready to enter

Be careful putting your energy into something you're offering, make sure the item is protected so that no one you didn't want to receive the offering takes it anyways

Do not insult the appearance of any gravestones or spirits / people there

If you're there performing psychopomp, please try your best not to shock or spook the spirits (or people), and bringing a death deity / other known psychopomp with you can help ease the spirits

Spirit Attachments

Spirit attachments (in some traditions, also known as possessions) are basically when a spirit attaches to you (this gives them a direct link to you). This can happen in a variety of ways, but is almost always unhealthy at least to you and sometimes the spirit too (you can learn more here). At times, spirits may get bound to you (more about bindings below in the psychopomp section) or may accidentally attach to you, but good portion spirit attachments are consensual based on the nature of the specific spirit attached.

Spirit attachments are unfortunately common nowadays because a lot of colonialism shaming spiritual practices, as well as new ageist watered-down misinformation and culturally appropriative takes.

Spirit attachments are easy access that a spirit has to your energy or deepest, most intimate parts of your energy / spirit / soul. If you have an established attachment already, protections won't be able to help defend you much against that spirit specifically until you get it removed. If there is no attachment but the spirit is intending to attach, you can still protect yourself from this spirit and cleanse yourself too.

Removing spirit attachments is a very difficult process that usually only trained individuals know how to do. It is very advanced and can be extremely dangerous, and sometimes takes multiple practitioners depending on the severity / spirit / situation. It can take thirty minutes, or it can take hours. It can be, or you might feel intense sensations. There's a lot of things that come up during removals, but the most important thing is to go to someone who you know for certain is advanced and credible enough in their communities and practice to remove this spirit. It is a lot more difficult than a simple spell or some crystals, and unfortunately, a lot of people feel very confused and off-balance after going to people who say they removed the spirit but really didn't. It's truly detrimental.

Additionally, please make sure you cleanse yourself and all of your items / place of residence immediately after having them removed, because otherwise there energy is still mixed around yours and they can easily come back to try and attach to you again. Additionally, make sure you have thorough protections up to prevent more attachments (as once you've gotten an attachment, that becomes public knowledge to many spirits) - any protections you made while you had the attachment are likely tainted, so you'll want to remove them and make new ones.

Recovery can be complicated when it comes to spirit attachments because different spirits will do different things. For some people, it's just a two or three-week transition and then they're back to normal. For others, it takes months to years of spiritual or mental recovery (usually mental if it takes that long). However, you are not alone and there are spaces and people you can find or go to for support. You can send me an Ask any time, if that brings any comfort, or join my Energy and Us server where we have a private channel just for spirit attachment survivors.

In general, recovery often involves energetic bounce-back and self-management (taking it easy and paying attention to your intake for the first couple weeks, as you'll likely need to get used to a more healthy level of intake). It also often involves getting back in touch with yourself - whether it be body scanning, intuition work, or something else. And many other things too - mundane therapy, spiritual medical care, mundane medical care, etc. It truly just depends on the situation / individual / spirit that was attached.

One thing that can happen is if you give your power to the being attached, it's easy for some spirits to "take over" your body (this is where the idea of possessions come from, and usually just means the spirit is forcing channeling or control of your body by stripping your autonomy or otherwise affecting your conscience) or sap you of your strength. This can lead to depressions, feeling a loss of autonomy, stereotypical possession symptoms in the worst of cases, your emotions being influenced for no reason, your thoughts and perceptions and memories being altered, outbursts or self-isolation, etc. However, it's easy to combat with empowering statements and willfully viewing the spirit as small or unable to affect you much - this can help a lot and make a huge difference when getting a spirit removed or just surviving the attachment until you get it removed. Saying things like "You have no power over me, I have the power here" and other affirmations truly do prove fruitful often times.

Experiences like can lead us to working with spirits in order to either protect ourselves or others, or to heal and understand what we went through, or even something else. For some of us, experiences like this truly can change the course of our life, whether it be our choice or not, and whether the attachments were our fault or not, they are never a doomsday sentence and there are people who may know what it's like. Many of us actually train to become psychopomps because of things like this, but any response to healing from this trauma is valid. For what it's worth, you're gonna be OK if you choose to be.

Some things to avoid to avoid getting an attachment:

Working with spirits / deities without protections and / or without vetting them

Giving offerings to random spirits, especially of personal items

Trading or offering very personal items or items you made without complete certainty that the god / spirit you intended to receive it will receive it

Closing spell jars (you can learn more in this post in regards to bindings, but it is an easy way for a spirit to get in touch with your energy as well)

W/WW with deities who incite fear / anxiety / paranoia (they likely either aren't who you think they are, or aren't a good fit for you)

W/WW with deities who you feel immense emotions around - positive or negative - (sometimes this can make it easy to stop being critical and mistakes happen, or again they're not who you think they are)

Insulting spirits or disrespecting them / their homes (many will dish out consequences)

As always, there are nuances with the list above. These are just some general things that may apply to any given situation.

If you're worried about a spirit attachment, please feel free to send an Ask or DM! I actively support with these cases and can remove them

Unfortunately, spirit attachments also occur in a sexual manner. If you have concerns about this, please check out this post on offerings and this post on godspouse relationships (please keep in mind that both of these posts have mature themes so are not inherently appropriate for minors or those with sexual / intimacy trauma).

Psychopomp Work

Psychopomp work can be done in many ways depending on personal beliefs and values, cultural influence, preferred methodology, and other factors. However, there is usually one general, vague goal of psychopomp work: helping spirits / souls move on to the afterlife.

To learn more specifically about what a psychopomp is, check out these resources: Psychopomps (A Short Guide) Angelus Mortis (Roman Psychopomps) Psychopomp vs. Living Psychopomp

Sometimes, this looks like just talking to spirits. Therapizing them. Helping them move on emotionally. Sometimes, it looks like freeing them of the binds that keep them stuck with us. Sometimes, it means freeing their victims to show them that what they're doing is wrong and won't be successful, that they can't harm others or live vicariously through them in unhealthy manners just because they're struggling to let go. Sometimes, it means being there when someone is passing on, ensuring they're comfortable, safe and prepared for their spirit's upcoming journey. And there's other forms and routes too. Whether you're helping the grieving, the lost, or the hurt, a living psychopomp is a mortal "guide of souls" who, once their work is noted by the spiritual world, becomes known amongst other spirits and deities (and because of this and their overall work, often encounter various psychopomp or death deities anyways, which is part of why there's such a big focus on deity work in this post).

Psychopomp work can be difficult to learn about because most people aren't just posting tutorials and whatnot online. Most of what we find online is new age spirituality - parts of it are beautiful, but most of it is watered-down and / or culturally appropriative misinformation. Most traditional practitioners do not post online, partially to keep their practices (and themselves) safe, and partially because most new ageists go out of their way to ridicule, shame, discriminate against, or otherwise harm traditional practitioners. Unfortunately, this means there's not a lot of education about these practices - which is why I'm sharing information - but it's also unsafe to share a lot of deeper information - which is why most of my posts are brief guides or introductions. I do have a post on research which can help you verify the credibility of online sources as well as individuals, but going out of your way to make authentic connections is probably really going to prove fruitful for you regardless (especially if you end up finding a mentor or program to learn from).

When embarking on the journey to learn about psychopomp work, there's a few things you should start out with learning first:

Protections (this can include a variety of protections - wards not typically recommended because they can trap spirits inside the area you warded, and sigils are way more advanced than people tend to think in my opinion), Cleansing

Spirit Classifications / Spirit Types

Spirit Communication Basics

(If you feel advanced and ready enough to do sigil work but don't know where to start, check out this post. Please note that sigils involve working with your own energy, as well as sometimes the energy of deities and spirits (that you would need their consent, and the consent of any involved energy forces, for).)

From there, it's all about finding your own path. An incomplete handful of things you could look into:

How to Avoid Bindings, Identify Bindings, and Unbind (this includes various spirits and situations, how to soothe the spirits and how to keep yourself / others safe if they attack once freed, who to call on to support them like a death or psychopomp deity / spirit - they can get them medical care / treatment, warn other spirits / blacklist them from the spiritual world, alternative options to bindings if someone is in fear of a dangerous spirit, etc)

How to Identify Spirit Attachments, Remove Spirit Attachments, and Support in Recovery of the Victim (this is basically as it sounds but can also including helping the spirit move on through therapeutic means or otherwise removing them from different spaces, calling on psychopomp deities, medical knowledge of humans including physical / mental / etc, and a few other things too - this practice probably is one the longest or most serious / dangerous for a psychopomp / individual to learn and practice)

Spirit Therapy (this is basically as it sounds - learning to be a therapist for spirits or otherwise learning about related topics for spirits; this can take a long time and is usually done when you yourself as a spirit)

Spirit Medicine (basically as it sounds - being a doctor for spirits or learning about medical care; this can also take a long time to learn and is often learned by spirits rather than the living)

Hosting / Leading and / or Organizing Funerals, Celebrations of Life, etc (this can include religious or spiritual rituals and influence, but doesn't have to)

Astral Projection (this is typically to aid in safe traveling of spirits through the afterlife, but could also be used to comfort the living as well, and maybe even a few other things too tbh!)

and more! There's a variety of paths you can take, so think about what you want to do and why you want to do it, and eventually you're likely find your way! If you have specific thoughts, feel free to also send me an Ask and I'll let you know if I have any knowledge or thoughts on the matter!

You can check out this post on spell jars to learn more about spirit bindings and other psychopomp teachings / spirit work information, if interested. You can also check out Spirit Autonomy & Mutuality Group (this post) if you're interested in learning more about bindings / unbinding and similar psychopomp / spirit work.

Something important to keep in mind regardless of your path: once a psychopomp, always a psychopomp. This doesn't mean that it's a lifetime commitment or that you can never quit; it just means that once word gets out about you amongst the spiritual world, spirits will recognize or see you as someone they can either go to for help or attack, even if you're no longer actively practicing. It will be less common that a spirit seeks you out after a while of no longer practicing, but it still happens because some spirits are desperate. And in terms of attacking, honestly that's both the living and the dead - another reason why working with a death deity or psychopomp spirit can be beneficial. There's many reasons why mortals may attack you over psychopomp work: they may not agree with your views on death / funerary rites / etc, they may be the very people holding spirits back and you piss them off by releasing the spirits (usually the case with bindings), they may feel intimidated by your work (unfortunately common), and other reasons too. Spirits are kind of similar, they may attack you for freeing spirits, for getting so deep in the spiritual world as a living person (they may have conceptions that the living should not interact, not common but can happen as spirits are autonomous too), etc. Honestly, there's lots of reasons someone may attack you whether they're alive or not because you're doing active, difficult work that others take note of or may not agree with.

How to Find Your Path

Finding your specific psychopomp path can be difficult, and requires a lot of action and dedication on your part. However, the key to beginning is really just self-reflection - maybe even shadow work - and being patient with yourself while you unlock this passion.

Some things to consider:

Your values, ethics, morals and motivations

Who you are as a person

Your boundaries, comfortability levels, and how healthily you challenge them (or don't healthily challenge them)

Your willingness to get your mental health checked out mundanely

Why you want to do what you want to do, and for who specifically

Who you're helping and who you might be making an enemy

Who you can go to or learn from if you have questions or concerns

Of course, there's other things to consider too, but it's really just about looking deep inside and deciding if this is truly something you want to do, and if you're the right person to do it by aligning yourself with any viewpoints or values that you and / or others find important.

Shelter Energy

The last part of this section is something very important I think any psychopomp should keep in mind, or at least consider. Shelter energy is exactly as it sounds, energy of Shelter, Refuge, etc. There's a lot that goes into Shelter's energy, which you can learn about in our Energy and Us space where we teach about various Energy Forces (the energies / spirits of the energies). Many psychopomps often deal with Shelter, just as many death and psychopomp deities / spirits do. It's about safety and security, protection and defense, supporting others, values of the home, and many other things too that can shape your beliefs / outlook and / or practices. I recommend learning more about the energy (again, our server is a great place to do this as we're a small, semi-closed community sharing these teachings that you may not find elsewhere) and how to ask for it's support when performing your duties / work.

Divination

Another way to work with the dead is simple divination, deity worship / work not required. One of the best methods is osteomancy, i.e. bone divination. There are many approaches to this kind of practice, just as there are other divination methods - energetic, spirit work, etc. Many people use it as a way to communicate with the spirits who's bones they belong to, usually animal bones.

This is a great practice, just make sure you're retrieving the bones ethically - ask the spirit's permission if they're still around, don't jeopardize the body and call a psychopomp (or if you are one, help them out) if the spirit needs it, be kind to the bones and treat them with care, and there are various cultural practices and values that can guide you as well. Making sure you're not disrespecting the spirit or their body is really important! This also means - don't buy from unethical hunters.

There are, however, other methods of divination that can help in this area too. For example, water scrying. Water remembers, so asking Water for her help is a great way to divine or commune with those who are not currently living. You could do the typical scrying, where you get a bowl of water, or you could even scry using the raindrops on your window. (Keep in mind that scrying is typically a bit more advanced, and the term "scrying" has a few different meanings depending on community or teachings.) Other methods are things like tarot / Oracle readings, enhancing spirit-sensing abilities, Seeing With Fire, reading burned wood or melted candles, reading smoke from candles / incense / etc, and so on.

Check out these posts on divination: Guide to Bones (Osteomancy Bone Recommendations) Traits of the Mouse (Witchy Tip)Working With Fire (A Brief Beginner's Guide) Some of My Teachings On Making Tarot Spreads Respect Tarot Readers The Moon Tarot Card of the Week + 4 Body Associations Tarot FAQ Beginner's Sea/Water Witchcraft

Ancestor Work + More Spirit Communication Tips

If you've come to the conclusion either personally, culturally or otherwise that ancestral work is a good step for you, then you can definitely at least consider asking your ancestors for support in working with death. Many ancestors lived with teachings on this, but are also an easy go-to for some of us when it comes to learning from the dead about the dead.

Check out this post to learn about if it's safe to contact your ancestor(s).

Some cool things you could speak with your ancestors about:

Concepts of life and death (such as cycles, time, etc)

How the human brain perceives death and spirits

Reasons to keep living

How you could better work with other spirits / death deities

If they have any tips or tricks

If they could provide any protections

If they are willing to teach you any practices they may know about (you could potentially also ask for specific practices)

You can learn more about picturing spirits (perception of spirits) in this post.

However, when speaking with those who have died - ancestors or anyone else - there is some basic etiquette to keep in mind. Learning about spirit classifications / types and communication basics are important (as mentioned in an earlier section), but so are manners and respecting the spirit as an individual. If you know your ancestor's personality, perhaps be mindful of their personal preferred communication styles.

General etiquette tips for any general spirit:

Do not ask for their name (this is often dangerous and personal, and you might be putting them in an uncomfortable position; instead, try to figure out who they are otherwise based on just how they are and what "kind" of spirit they might be, or ask for / ask to give them a nickname)

Do not inquire about how they died / the circumstances surrounding their death / how it felt (this is often traumatic or just personal, and it's very rude to ask someone, especially if you don't know them very well)

Celebrations of Death / Death Holidays

There are many celebrations, festivals, calendar marks, and holidays around the world that are in honor of death as a general concept, death deities, the dead, etc. These celebrations or holidays can be celebrated by the average person (or if they're closed, then it'd be those with permission), but some of them also involve intricate or integral rituals, customs and traditions, etc. Some of these things you can learn to lead groups for, or do solitarily. Below is an incomplete, condensed list of some of these holidays and celebrations across the world (please note: some of these days / celebrations are not inherently specifically about death or the dead, but often can be / are).

Dia De La Muertos / El Día de Muertos / The Day of the Dead

Drowning (or Burning) of Marzanna

Obon / Bon

Zhongyuan Festival

Hungry Ghost Festival / Ghost Month

Samhain / Sauin

Halloween

Gai Jatra

Nine Nights / Dead Yard

Fèt Gede

Winter Solstice

There are also cultural, religious, spiritual, communal, familial, etc, rituals and traditions for things like funerals, preparing bodies, etc. For example, Antyesti is a Hindu custom that focuses on guiding the soul to the afterlife (among other things sometimes). In Greece, it's traditional that women perform dance / movement and singing / wailing (usually it's wailing accompanied by moving around and pounding on their chests, as well as tearing at their hair) at funeral services as a way to honour the deceased by representing grief and passion (mourning the dead was / sometimes still is known as "women's work" in Greek traditions, but it done with dutifulness and honour). You can find other customs across the globe in various communities, beliefs and eras.

If you're interested, check out this post on some Halloween traditions. You can also check out my 2025 Halloween event at this post, which I may or may not continue even though it's November now haha. If inspired to learn about garlic, check out this post.

Death Work With the Living

When we think of death work, our mind often goes straight to the underworld, the afterlife or eternal life, or spirits / gods of death. However, there are some very real death work practices that actually don't involve the dead at all. Small (incomplete) list of examples:

Support for the sick, Disabled (mentally or physically), elderly, etc (therapy, nursing, general moral support, guidance or counseling, etc)

Prophetic work relating to death / fatal situations / etc

Therapy and support for loved ones and carers of the sick, Disabled, elderly, etc

Therapy / support for those grieving, experiencing anticipatory grief, or grieving loss that is unaffiliated to physical death (this can include helping them out physically in their home / organizing food delivery or cleaning services, emotional support, therapy and counseling, having patience, giving them active ways to work on their loss such as journaling, being an open ear for them to speak to, and other things too)

Funerary support aside from spiritual / religious practices (can include some variations of embalming or preparing clothes / jewelry / etc for the deceased, cleaning gravestones and markers, etc)

Creating art representative / associated with death, funerary scenes, death deities, etc

Relationship advice / support / counseling / etc for those in dangerous situations, or with a "fading" spark / relationship

At times, things like this can feel very foreign or abstract to people, or even all too familiar. Sometimes it's intense, sometimes we're dissociated. Every individual is unique, but how the living view or cope with death can make a huge impact on the rest of their life and their death. Many people want to avoid these conversations in modern day, but people who do this work bring about many rays of hope and sunlight to those who may be confused, lost, or otherwise struggling, or just experiencing something that most of us do at some point in our lives or another. Things like this can be solitary or communal, hard or difficult, but of great value nonetheless.

Thank you!

I greatly appreciate it you reading this post and learning from my knowledge / teachings! You can check out my Table of Contents for more information (even posts that weren't linked in any sections above), this post to learn more about me, and send an Ask any time! I'm thinking on a Part Two so let me know if you'd like to see a second part of this! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

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