#published writings

[theglasschild]

The lovely people over at Thought Catalog published another of my writings! This one is called "Every time it rains, I remember you", a writing from my book Another Vagabond Lost To Love. I truly hope you will like it ♡

GO HERE TO READ

"This morning I woke up to the sound of white rain shattering on my window, and the raindrops kept falling like the sweetest music leaving tears on the glass, which is what music does to me most of the time, but silence too."

[anfang-zwanzig]

November 15,2022

Just now I actually hid a banana from my mother, because I was hungry and was allowed to eat everything she had except: bananas.

She needs these bananas to choke down the tons of pills. So I held them behind my back, looked her in the eye and went out to the terrace to smoke and eat the bananas.

I have been taking two blue pills against depression regularly for two days now, as many do, only I prescribe these pills to myself, my mother has so many of them, so I can start a therapy for a while.

That I help myself at my mother's pharmacy is nothing new to me, because I started four years ago. I had just come to the age in which one is very willing to take risks and experiments.

Since my mother had no order, all the blisters and paper boxes were scattered all over the apartment. The kitchen was the worst infested. The whole counter was full of medicines. Three huge drawers under the dishes, full of drugs. A junkie's dream. It was too easy, too predictable.

My mother, however, is not a junkie. At least that's what she always claims.

09:49

At this very moment, my mother is on the phone with her doctor. She puts the phone on speaker. First it's about prescriptions for pills and then the doctor says in Bavarian dialect:" Or wissn's was? Soon there will be legalization. Then they just smoke a moi an joint. I don't smoke for 20 years, I will bake brownies. "

My mother:" yes, I'll come by".

The doctor: "Yes, exactly, then make a hash brownie coffee klatsch."

11:35

I find my mother really disgusting. There is actually nothing about her that I really love anymore, or that makes me think of good times. My mother is addicted to insanity and shows no insight whatsoever. I am an orphan, now that my grandparents need care themselves, there is no one left who still feels like family.

I will walk around with this fate all my life, that's for sure.

I am currently isolating myself from any social interactions. Why? Because I don't have much to say. I am very silent. I don't talk much with my mother. I just don't want to say much sometimes either. But when you don't have anything to say, it makes conversations very sluggish and barren. People don't want to talk to me at all, so that's sometimes a reason for my social withdrawal.

1:41 pm

When I see my mother like this, it makes me feel nothing. She looks run down, confused, disheveled, exhausted, depressed.

I soon don't know what to do. How do I live a content life? I can't stay in the house in F-burg forever either. Yes, I should even leave F-burg, I have to go back to the big city. I come back to my hometown. Here I feel safe. At least safer than in F-burg.

6:05 p.m.

My thoughts are constantly circling around just what to do. I need a job in Freiburg. Preferably as soon as possible. Then a step has already been taken.

[americanprostitutee]

A POEM I WROTE IS GETTING PUBLISHED AND THEY WANT ME TO WRITE MORE OMFG IS THIS HAPPENING

[enteresc]

The Despite People

You can recognise us, because our face is definite, strong, sharp, but usually ugly too. ‘Ugly’ is not necessarily the right word, but you won’t find harmony and peace on our face, instead many deep lines, dis-symmetries, expression of confusion, internal trouble, eternal disturbance. And perhaps signs of digestion problems.

Chronologically, it usually starts early: when families, nurseries,…

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[lawrenceperyer]

Translating Wonder to Market Share

Tapping the Potential of the World Wide Web. A column by me which originally appeared on ClickZ: The Daily Stop for Web Advertisers. Transcript coming soon.

[lawrenceperyer]

Middle America Cometh

Prepare Yourself Now for the Next Wave! A column by me which originally appeared on ClickZ: The Daily Stop for Web Advertisers. Transcript coming soon.

[lawrenceperyer]

What's in a Buy?

It Depends What You Are Looking For. A column by me which originally appeared on ClickZ: The Daily Stop for Web Advertisers. Transcript coming soon.