[text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life. (high school jarley) [text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”… [text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance? (before the bachelor party)
[text] I’m making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
[text] Jake, what’s wrong??
10 minutes later: [text] Jacob I-don’t-know-your-middle-name-yet-but-I-will-ask-your-mother-if-I-have-to Puckerman. Don’t do anything you’re going to regret. We have finals, remember?
5 minutes later: [text] Just tell me if you need me to come get you. Be safe.
[text] i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”…
[text] tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
[text] If you think you’re going to need an ambulance, just don’t do it. Please? I do want kids one day.
[text] I’m also fairly sure you want to do something other than writhe in pain on our honeymoon…
[text] I was sort of hoping for a different course of events anyway.