I had a tough decision to make this summer. Freshly out of graduating college I was given two options by my parents, stay back home and figure things out or move to Dallas where my dad had gotten a new job. And as the idea of moving to yet another city didn't excite me, I was not ready to live on my own. The internship I thought was going to lead to a job fell through and I was feeling a little lost. Being all by myself was the last thing I needed. Moving to Dallas meant I'd get a fresh start, again, and at least I'd still be with my family.
My dad has been a hockey coach ever since I could remember. He used to play, too, but I was too young to remember. All I have are the pictures and stories, and from what I've heard he was a little bit of a badass, which doesn't surprise me. He has been a college coach for most of his career. Last year he was a head coach in the American Hockey League and really turned some heads after winning the Calder Cup.
There were a few teams that were interested in him. We toured the cities, he met with each team, looked over their players, and decided that the Dallas and the Stars would be the best fit. He was really confident he could turn the team around. He was excited, which made the rest of us excited. It's me, my mom, and my little brother. We made the choice as a family. I think he would have chosen here no matter what, though.
The first thing we learned is that the NHL is way different than college or the AHL. Everything is so much more of a to-do than what we're used to. There was a press conference, we took pictures, we answered questions. It became very clear very fast that this wasn't going to just be another job for dad. This was going to be the most important job he'd ever have. It's a lot of pressure, but that's where he thrives.
It was that press conference that flipped my whole world upside down, and not just because my dad became one of the most important people in Dallas sports. That press conference is where I first met Tyler Seguin and nothing would be the same again.
Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin were asked to be at the press conference to welcome their new coach. Jamie was already in Dallas and we had met him before. Tyler had flown in just for it. The first time we locked eyes it was like I was in a trance. He looked like he wanted to devour me and I sure as hell wanted him to.
I had heard about his reputation. My friends warned me about him. "He's bad news." It's not like I'm an innocent little flower. I'm pretty bad news myself. So it was a surprise when he offered to show me around Dallas, that he actually showed me around Dallas. Of course it didn't take much longer after that to wind up in his bed. I was his dirty little secret and he was mine. I think we both got off on sneaking around. But sneaking around turned into a little bit more. We went from fuck buddies to friends with benefits. He didn't want a relationship and neither did I, that was very clear from the moment we met, but it became more than just sex. We text just to talk, we hang out just to hang out. I like being around him. He makes me laugh, when he's not making me moan and scream.
I'm not falling for him. I'm not falling for him.
"You wore that on purpose," he mutters in my ear as he skates past me. He turns to skate backwards and watches me for my reaction with a cheeky grin.
I can't help smiling at him. He's a charming little shit. "Maybe I did." Leggings and a sweater are innocent enough when you're looking on the outside in, but maybe I wore leggings instead of jeans knowing how much Tyler likes the way my ass looks in them.
It's the Dallas Stars family skate. We are all at the Star Center in Frisco to celebrate Christmas and each other. The rink is open for everyone to skate on. There's a huge Christmas tree in the middle, food, drinks, and Santa. The season is going pretty well so far, so there's a lot to be joyous about. Everyone's in good spirits.
My brother Aidan whizzes past me. "Race you!"
"Do you really wanna embarrass yourself in front of everyone?"
He's 15 going on 5, like any typical teenage boy. He always challenges me to a race and I always beat him. He did go through a growth spurt this summer but I'm still confident I can beat him. Next year will probably be a different story. I probably won't have too many more victories in my future.
He skates circles around me. "Scared?"
"Scared of hurting your feelings in front of all of these professional hockey players? Yeah. I love my baby brother."
He shoves me. "Let's go."
"Show us what you got!" Tyler chimes in. He’s such a troublemaker.
I sigh. “Alright. C’mon.”
Aidan and I line up next to each other. “Three times around back to this spot.”
Both of us have been skating since we could walk. It’s practically second nature to us. We both play hockey. He still does. I was on my college team, but I haven’t figured out if I want to join a league here or not. I’ve been focused on trying to get a job as an animal handler at a zoo. That’s what I went to school for. Luckily Dallas has a really great zoo. I’m still waiting for an interview. I’d like to stay with my family but of course I’m willing to move anywhere to follow my dream.
“You’re on, little bro.” I glance over at Tyler, who is looking extremely amused at this whole thing. “You hush.”
He defensively holds his hands up. “I didn’t say anything. I can’t wait to see this.” I stick my tongue out at him. He skates close, right up against me. “I have things you can use that for later.” He winks and I roll my eyes, but he’s sending shivers down my spine and goosebumps all over my body. He drives me absolutely crazy. “Good luck.”
“I don’t need luck.” He mouths ‘hot’ and giggles. I can’t help smiling and shaking my head at him. He’s incredibly cute and never fails to make me laugh.
“Hey!” Aidan yells. “Tips from a pro is cheating. We gonna do this or not?”
I set up next to him. “Let’s go.”
When we start out, not too many people are watching us. And with every lap around the rink more and more people start to take notice. I don’t notice who. I’m too busy making sure I don’t let Aidan beat me in front of all of these people. On the last lap he starts gaining on me. I start to worry that this will be the year he finally beats me. It’s too soon. I’m not ready. I hear Tyler cheering for me as we whiz by him and that gives me a little extra motivation. He starts gaining on me as we approach center ice. I push extra hard and wind up just beating him. That was too close for comfort.
My dad skates over and wraps his arms around both of us. “You almost got her, Aidan! Closest you’ve ever gotten. I’m proud of you! You’re running out of time, Lyss.”
I sigh. “I know. Don’t remind me.”
Dad pats us on the back. “It’s good to see some traditions keep up over the years.”
I can see Tyler watching us, wishing he could join us. I wish he could too. My mom comes up to us to make sure she gets pictures of this moment. She is always making sure she’s getting pictures. My dad calls her over. “Get in here with us.”
Tyler skates over, like the knight in shining armor that he is. “Lemme take one of everyone.” He snatches mom’s phone out of her hand and directs us to stand in front of the tree before he takes the picture.
After the picture my dad wraps an arm around Tyler to thank him. It’s a little surreal, only because this is an outside of hockey moment. When they’re interacting together on the ice that’s just work. This feels different. I feel a little guilty that we’re keeping this big secret from him. My dad has taken such a liking to Tyler. He’s become a big mentor to him.
"What are your plans for Christmas, Tyler?"
“Everyone’s coming over. We’ve been doing that the past few years. It’s just easier that way. What about you, coach?” He asks, knowing the answer. I’ve told him. He has to keep up appearances, though.
“We’re all going home to be with family, something we haven’t been able to do in a while.” Home. He means his home city, where the rest of our family lives. I haven't really felt like any particular place is home since we move around so much. Maybe Dallas can be home for me.
“That’ll be great. Family’s the most important.”
Dad smiles. “It really is.” He spots Aidan with a stick out of the corner of his eye. “Aid! Gonna take some shots?”
“Yeah. A bunch of us are gonna shoot around.”
“Want your old man to show you a thing or two?”
He rolls his eyes. “You can try.”
They skate off and leave Tyler with me alone. All we can do is smile at each other. It’s hard to be around him and not be able to flirt with him, touch him, kiss him. That’s usually what we do when we’re together. We can’t stand here too long without being suspicious. He can’t stop looking me up and down, which is not helping at all. He's looking pretty handsome himself. I don't think I can stop staring either. We are so gonna get busted.
We try to keep our distance, but it's not easy. He skates closer to me. "I love watching you skate." He speaks low enough so no one else can hear us. It's not like anyone's paying attention, they're all doing their own thing.
I look down and blush a little. "Thanks. I love that sweater on you." It's a black button down cardigan with olive green sleeves.
He looks down at it, as if he forgot what he’s wearing. “Thanks! It’s comfy, soft, something I was pretty sure you’d like.”
“You wore it for me?”
“No. Not really.” He shrugs. “I just thought you’d like it.”
I look around to see if anyone is watching us before undoing a button and running my hand along his chest, to feel the softness of course. “There. That’s better.”
He grins. “Undressing me in front of everyone? That’s for sure gonna get us caught.”
“It was one button, drama queen.”
He makes a little growl under his breath. "I need to get you alone at some point."
"That seems impossible."
"I'll find a way."
"You just can't keep your hands off me, eh?"
He smiles and bites his bottom lip. "Never."
Sometimes that smile of his makes me melt. "I would kiss your damn face off if I could."
He skates backwards away from me with the biggest shit eating grin on his face. "Too bad." He laughs and joins some of his teammates and their kids. He is so good with the kids.
I'm left a little speechless and decide to join my brother and dad and take some shots on the net. Unfortunately I can't stay in my Tyler bubble for too long here, no matter how good it may feel. I have to admit I love being on the ice with my family, it brings back some great memories from when we were kids. My dad has this twinkle in his eye when he's on skates, especially when he can teach, and a lot of the kids have gathered around to get some pointers. He's in his element and couldn't be happier.
We promised my mom we'd take pictures with Santa. We do it every year. As we get older it gets harder and harder to convince us, but we always give in because it makes her happy. Sitting on their laps has been getting more and more weird. This is the last year I'm gonna do it. I have to put my foot down somewhere. She wants the same exact picture every year so she can compare them all. I get it, it's cute, but I don't think I'll be 40 and sitting on Santa's lap.
"Ho. Ho. Ho. Tell Santa what you want for Christmas." This guy is good. I always like when they actually have a real beard. Feels more authentic.
"If I do that I won't get it."
"Isn't that birthday wishes. Humor Santa."
I spot Tyler, who is in the back of the line watching me. We smile at each other. "I have everything I want."
"She wants me to get an electric bike," Aidan says. "Hurry up, Alyssa, there's kids waiting and I wanna get back to the ice."
I roll my eyes. "I guess I want my brother to get an electric bike. Can we take the picture, please?"
Aidan sits on Santa's other knee and my mom takes our picture. She's so proud and happy. You couldn't possibly wipe the smile off her face. Maybe I will be sitting on Santa's lap at 40. My mom does so much for us, the least we can do is take five seconds out of our day to make her happy.
I hang around to watch everyone take their turn. It's mostly the kids, but some of the players get in on the fun too. Tyler and a few others around Santa and take the silliest picture. I love how everyone turns into a little kid on Christmas.
While everyone seems to be distracted he grabs my hand and pulls me away. "I wanna show you something."
That catches me super off guard and almost gives me whiplash. "What? Where?"
He pulls me into the visitor's locker room. "I couldn't think of anywhere else. Sorry."
"What are we doing in here, Tyler?"
He holds mistletoe over our heads. "Took me forever to find this mistletoe."
"Like you need an excuse to kiss me."
"Not here. We're not supposed to. Can't really help myself, though."
"We can wait til later."
"Can you?"
"I think so."
"Do you want to?"
"Of course not. It's not like we have a choice."
He kisses me. It's a sweet kiss. Not too long, not too short. He rests his forehead on mine, holds onto my hips, and pulls me close. “What did you ask Santa for?”
“Nothing.”
His hands travel from my hips to my ass as he leans in to kiss my neck. “You’re probably on the naughty list anyway.”
I run my fingers through his hair and massage the back of his head. “No thanks to you.”
He smirks. “You were on that list way before you met me.”
I laugh. "Alright, maybe that's true."
He reaches into his pocket. "I got you something."
I let out an exasperated sigh. "Tyler, we said we weren't doing that."
"I know, but I changed my mind."
"That's not fair. I didn't get you anything."
"That's ok." He places a jewelry box in my hand. "It's not much, just something I thought you should have. I didn't wrap it. Didn't want the paper crinkling in my pocket."
"I can't believe you…" I open the box. "Wow." It's a necklace with a tiger pendant. He knows tigers are my favorite animal at the zoo. It has white crystals and looks like a white bengal tiger, my absolute favorite. I had a special bond with a cub at the zoo I had my internship with. I really thought I was going to stay there and take care of him and watch him grow up. I get a little choked up thinking about it.
"I know how much Titan means to you." I may have shown Tyler hundreds of pictures I have of him on my phone, and talked his ear off many nights about him.
I hug him. "Thank you so much. This means a lot to me. You didn't have to do that. We're just…"
"Don't worry about it. I wanted to. Merry Christmas."
I wipe the tears from my eyes. "Merry Christmas."
"About what you were saying...you know, that we're just...maybe we can be more."
I am a bit taken aback. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah, I'm serious." He sounds a bit offended that I would even second guess him. This is coming out of left field, though, we never even talked about the possibility of being anything real. "Is that something you'd want?"
I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it from time to time, but it's not something I ever considered to be a real possibility and I was fine with that. Does he really want this? How would it even work? Everything in me is screaming to say yes, but it's not that simple. "Yeah, it is, but…"
"Your dad. I know. We'll figure it out. I really like you."
"I really like you too." I didn’t realize just how much I wanted to hear those words from him.
"So you'll be my girlfriend?" The way he asks is so cute. How could I say no to that?
"Yes, I'll be your girlfriend."
He smiles so wide it lights up the room. "Cool. It’s official."
He holds my face in his hands and kisses me so passionately. It's definitely not something I've ever felt from him before. I wonder how long he's been waiting to ask me. I can't believe we're actually doing this. I hold him close as I kiss him back, never wanting it to end.
"What the fuck is going on?" Tyler and I both jump back, startled. Aidan is standing in the doorway with his mouth hanging open. "Dad's going to kill you."
"You can't tell him." I hold him by the shoulders. "Please don't tell him. We will…eventually."
"Alyssa, he's going to kill you."
I hang my head. "I know, but this is happening."
"Shit."
Tyler stands next to me with his hand on my back. "Hey, man, you want that electric bike, right? I'll get it for you if you can just keep this between us for a while. That cool?"
He shakes his head. "You don't have to bribe me. I won't tell." He pauses. "I would like that bike, though."
I smack on the arm. "Aidan!"
He rubs the spot. "Ow! I mean if my mom and dad don't get it for me."
I smack him again. "Really??"
He sighs. "Fine. You don't have to."
Tyler chuckles a bit under his breath. "If they don't get it for you, I will. That's a promise."
"Wow. Cool. Thanks, Tyler. I won't tell anyone. They're all wondering where you are, just so you know. Don't take too long sucking face."
I blush so hard. "Oh my god."
"Stall for like twenty more minutes, bro." Tyler has a devilish look in his eyes.
Aidan snarls. "Ew." And walks out.
Tyler giggles. "Guess we'll have to figure it out sooner than we thought." He runs his fingers through my hair and kisses me tenderly. "Ready to get back out there and pretend this didn't just happen?"
"Not really."
He pins me up against the wall and undoes his belt. "We've got twenty minutes."
