My original request for RustyMotor was gonna be number 8 if you wanna try that.
The silence in the apartment was usually a sanctuary, but tonight it was oddly suffocating. He had only been back for an hour, the engine of the stolen bike still ticking as it cooled out on the street, when the air turned sour.
"Thought ya left, again."
His Rusty-James’s voice was thin, reedy. His younger brother was standing by the window, a hand drifting from his hair to rub frantic, soothing circles into the crook of his elbow. His Rusty was shifting his weight, his lips parted in a jagged, uneven rhythm as he tried to mask the puffiness around his eyes. Like he thought he was playing it cool, like he thought he was hiding.
He takes a step forward, the floorboards groaning, His intent to offer some dry, dismissive comfort dying the second His gaze locked onto the inner arm of His brother.
The red haze didn't build; it slammed into Him. There, against the pale, bruised skin, was a pinprick- a dark, blossoming mark that told a story He had seen too many times not to know by heart.
"Motor, you, ya ain't actually gon' hurt me, right?"
Scared to Feel Your Hand on my Damaged Skin. - rustymotor fic
"You're not, you're not leaving yet, are ya?" Rusty-James' voice was tight, biting back what he wanted to say but his big watery eyes were so obvious and open, His little brother hated being alone- he might even beg Him to stay if He asked him to…
Rusty had shuffled his feet and looked around the room, starting and stopping saying something or other in the time it takes Him to respond, it's endearing, in a way that makes his body ache to be closer, or maybe that was the same thing that called for Him to leave; run off to some town where nobody knows His face or heard about what He likes in bed.
See that's something He likes about Rusty, he was always willing to try whatever He wanted, so bursting full of impossible loyalty and a deep desperation to be seen; what was a little pain in return for feeling wanted? That's why He had to take care of him. If anyone else learned about that they'd hurt His little brother, and He hated when His Rusty got hurt.
"Nah, don't worry kid. Not going anywhere yet." It doesn't taste like a lie but it rolls off His tongue like one, smooth and silky, like He hadn't actually decided yet even after saying the words-
Well I Think That I've Gotta go and I Don't Know why but I Need you to Promise That you Won't cry.
Shepard!Ponyboy who is conceived after the Shepards meet their biological father for the first time. He's born after their mother abandons them. He doesn't meet them until their mother tries to reconnect, or maybe she gets in some real serious trouble and she lets it out that he has siblings AKA The Shepard's.
Thoughts?
So many thoughts.
He'd probably be conceived earlier in the same day they met Cathal, unless he's only a half-sibling (could definitely make him half Curtis if wanted some more family drama when he's older) because Cathal wants nothing else to do with Barbara after meeting the kids.
Barbara and Cathal both have blue eyes so his eyes would be more gray than green, but Cathal is ginger and Barbara has black hair so his hair can stay the same.
If wanted to go for realism, Ponyboy would probably be NAS baby, which at the time was usually referred to as "congenital morphinism" (NAS was termed until 1970) and if he's conceived right before Barbara leaves, that would make Tim 9-10, and I write him being 19-20 during canon (and the twins being 5 years younger) so that means Ponyboy was born in 1955-1956, which was right around when they were switching from using mom's opioid breastmilk and opioid smoke to methadone for nas babies. (Also the irony of Ponyboy being a heroin baby while the older three Shepards got into heroin as well, something something symbolism i don'thave the brain power for) - random fun fact tangent cause I love research.
I can see Barbara trying to sell Ponyboy to Tim for drugs, even without NAS he'd have a lot of issues because he'd grown up with the full force of Barbara with no buffer. She goes a bit off the deepend towards the end there.
She turns back up sober when Tim is 18 (though she thinks he's 19) so she'd probably turn up a year earlier to see what he'll give her for Ponyboy. So Pony is around 7 when he meets his siblings.
I imagine Barbara has no nice words for Tim, she'd described him as the Devil, and posed Ponyboy going to him as a punishment (maybe he'd broken something or cried too much or whatever other normal child thing she couldn't handle) so he'd be quiet and scared and Tim would be so protective the moment he learned that's his baby brother.
Thinking about lil quiet baby Pony in the loud Shepard house, politely trying to do chores and not take up space and calling his siblings Ma'am and Sir 🥺
I have more thoughts. I'll revisit this later or I'll write something for it. But it's a little worm I my brain rn.
Do you have any advice for writing Sociopath characters? Or any sources that you find trustable and accurate to not be just stereotypes?
Yeah! This got a bit rambly. 😅
I've been calling it Sociopathy, cause that's how I like to phrase it, but in truth it's AntiSocial Personality Disorder.
So ASPD (with sociopath and psychopath [psychopathy is labeled as a severe form of ASPD] no longer being common terms this is the current label, it's important to know that everyone's symptoms can appear different and nobody has the exact same experience, two people with ASPD can come across as totally different) a Cluster B personality disorder that develops in teens to early adulthood, usually 15-18, it presents before that as Conduct Disorder.
It can be genetically predisposed, and usually, a traumatic event in childhood triggers it.
ASPD is categorized as DSM-5 and defined as, pretty much in short, "criminals who lack remorse, empathy, and often manipulate others for their own gain." And more often than not sociopath/psychopath characters are written as the villains or irredeemable evil, and in the few cases where they aren't the irredeemable, they only get a happy ending once they "get better."
So, as long as you avoid that as well as the completely emotionless hermit of a character, you'll probably do better than 99% of media!
(My favorite character that makes somewhat decent representation is actually Mark Jennings from That Was Then, This is Now. Though it's not confirmed and I don't engage with a lot of media involving ASPD)
Here's some basic sparknotes!
It doesn't develop in childhood, but in teens to young adult. When it shows up in younger it's usually conduct disorder, and those traits can definitely stick around long term.
General lack of regard- if not outright disdain for authority, laws, or possible consequences.
Someone with ASPD might not fully be aware or fully comprehend the emotional reasons why someone might be against murder, but they could understand that murder = jail time which = discomfort and boredom.
Addictive personality traits, boredom is a huge killer and even the most logical can get impulsive when bored. Needing near constant stimulation in some kind of way. (Tim gets around this the same way I do! Fun fact. He observes people and plants and everything going on and changing around him. Plus he doesn't have to deal with ADHD like I do so it's a little easier. I also avoid alcohol and other vices for the majority of the time because I have an extremely addictive personality type.)
They value what they value above all else and whatever they don't get neglected.
Very poor impulse control, especially in regards to Intrusive thoughts.
They rarely ever take other people emotions or thoughts into account without it being a conscious effort.
Approaching situations either in the most logical way or the most impulsive way, without much forethought, if any at all, depending on the character. (In this case, I write Tim as the former and Mark as the latter)
They don’t really concern themselves much with what other people are experiencing unless there’s a direct benefit to them, BUT they can train that logical part of their brain to.
They can understand emotions, rather well, but only logically. They can be very avid performers of empathy and mimic it well.
The cliche is that they use it for nefarious personal gain but you could write it as: “Logically, having this person in my life provides better financial stability, eases responsibilities, is a really good cook, (insert personality trait or skill they value), and I find my life improved by having this person around”, and build a more logical connection between them.
Someone with ASPD doesn’t really feel much shame or distress, they can feign it but they don’t necessarily feel it. This personality style is also self focused, so they’ll miss the “you dumbass they’re upset and it’s your fault/ you dumbass they need support” moments. Just make them someone who with a little pressure and logic can be swayed to perform the roles they need to.
They very often value that loyalty like prosocials value love and connection, though that loyalty needs to be a strong and repeatedly proven one for them to try and do anything in return. (An example of this with Snakeoil, Tim doesn't start to be friends with Dallas until he saves his life, and doesn't start seeing him as actually trustworthy until the drug arc)
They usually have a very low, if nonexistent social battery, a distinct dislike or hatred of being touched, and when this starts to get pushed, it will very often result in lashing out.
Many struggle with planning for the future (me😅 and Mark, but not Tim), while many deal with out-of-body experiences and a whole list of other, rarely talked about, experiences and symptoms I can't think of rn cause I'm tired asf.
An "EP" or Exception Person, is someone who is held in high regard or esteem by someone with ASPD, usually family members, spouses, children, or lifelong friends. (For Tim, this is the twins and later Dallas to a lesser degree. For Mark, this is Bryon.) Who have different rules, exceptions, or expectations set on them and are usually the sole holder of said ASPD havers loyalty. (For most but not all, this would be one person, but it's common enough to stretch to two or three.)
I don't have any good resources or sources, but @/aspd-confessions and @/aspd-culture can be good places to get glimpses, and I'm always happy to answer questions as they spring up.
The rank stench of cigarette smoke barely covered the reek of the alley, garbage water puddled in the dark recesses along the far wall still hot from the summer sun even hours later.
Tim's lungs ache as he pulls another toke off the cancer stick, puffing out the gray smoke and flicking the ashes off the end and onto the dirty ground. Dark blue eyes carefully tracing the rows and rows of barred windows.
The pavement still radiated heat, sinking into his back where it's pressed against the wall even through his clothes. His skin itching to get moving, not liking staying in one spot so long and definitely not so close to the police station. With another cloud of toxic breath the person he'd been waiting for appears.
I Don't Need Sympathetics I Just Need Some Room to Breath.
