#pumpkin husbands

[tylwer34567]

I had to sorry not sorry

[bunmenace]

Pumpkin duo doddle before sleep

[masterprocrastiwriter]

So...I decided and took the time to write another Schlackity poem. After so many months on hiatus with writing anything about them here. I managed to get a spark of writing about their whirlwind hell of a relationship once again to conclude this year to pass, and embrace the year to come.

to my embrace.

a schlackity poem. sincerely dedicated to @almostdeath.

There’s a manuscript you kept in your pocket square Written with a candle beside me, in the pitch dark eve You wondered if I would still expect to meet you there At the paradise we built, where I watched you leave.

I could recall the days we weren’t devoured by our fears Calm, dreamy days tinged with some sort of innocence Yet our promises to uphold this love for years and years They were dying from our detriments and dissonance.

So, how did we get here?

I straddled on your lap after you laid across the settee Breathing cigarettes, crumpled clothes on matted floors Just like my paramour when he was intimate with me But I’d pretend these lips of his I’m kissing were yours.

Two carnal alcoholics, harbingers of death and danger Sometimes I wished we had an entirely different start Our souls have been corrupted by money and power It keeps tearing us and this damned metropolis apart

And all the happy-ever-afters.

But even after all this, left grief-stricken and in ruins The rock bottom can still unravel something new Beyond the tints of venomous lies and bloody sins I’ll someday find the golden truth, and so will you.

Go, pull up and open the paper from where it hides I know you’ve never read it until this lonely night ‘Let’s wake from the death of our old selves and rise; Return to my embrace—I swear, I’ll love you right,

and I’ll never say goodbye.’

[thepoppypenner]

Quackity being unable to let go of the idea of marriage. Ever since he was young, he dreamed a about the princes and knights he would always read about. About finding his own one day.

Eret being the first and most literal. Literal royalty that wanted him by their side. But eventually, Eret's engagement ring to him found its way onto a chain that he kept around his neck.

And then there was Schlatt who was as charming and charismatic as any prince he had ever read about. Someone who was meant to rule. Someone who was gone as quickly as he was there, becoming nothing more than another ring on Quackity's chain.

But then came Karl and Sapnap. The bravest, fiercest people he knew when it came to love. The people who picked him up and rescued him like he was every damsel from his stories. They gradually faded away and this time, it took the longest for him.

Matching rings stayed on his trembling fingers even long after he felt rejected from Kinoko, locked out of the Kingdom that was supposed to be their home.

But over time, his hands would steady and his heart would curl in on itself, creating a protective shell around it. And as Quackity added two more rings to the chain around his neck, heavy as a hangman's knot making it hard to breathe, he swore the only rings that would ever again grace his fingers would be his own.

[kittietoof]

jealousy

[one-strugling-bean]

Folllowing the headcanon that Glatt starts hauting Las Nevadas after his bet with Quackity-

(In case it isn’t obvious, im talking about the characters here, okay)

I just love picturing him becoming super into Quackity and following him around like a dog with a bone.

I mean, Quackity has changed a lot from the man Glatt remembers. Now he sports an ugly scar and carries a big, bloody ax around (a weapon he is not at all hesitant to use anymore). He takes shit from no one and does not hesitate to fight for what he wants. Now, Quackity has the aura of a powerful, feared man and certainly carries himself like so.

Needless to say, Glatt is 100% fascinated with him.

With the memories from his past life pretty skewed and his common sense thrown out the window (since he’s a ghost and all), it’s really easy for Glatt to just start following Quackity everywhere, acting like a weird fusion between a dedicated housewife, a crazy fangirl and a dog.

Offers to help Quackity with his morning routine, to dress him, make him breakfast (even though he doesn’t know how to cook), bring him things, relay any messages Quackity might have to other Las Nevadas members, go perform espionage whenever and wherever the duck might want (even though he can’t really go many places, because sun).

All the while, of course, singing praises about his sugar pumpkin, his big strong husband.

How amazing Quackity is, how cool and calculating he is, how he’s such a competent leader, and Las Nevadas is too lucky to have him.

(There are also a bunch of suggestive innuendos shamelessly thrown around at all times, because it's still Schlatt, but I’m not too good with those so I’ll just let you imagine them.)

Basically, just throw your view of Schlatt in a romantic relationship out the window and imagine he's a glorified puppy, or a housewife from the 60's (except from the, ya know, being cute or actually taking care of the house parts)

And, to shorten Quackity’s reactions to all this crap (otherwise I’d never finish this post), let’s just say, as I’m sure you can imagine, the duck man is very, very much, unamused.

(Although I do like to imagine that sometimes he does let Glatt do certain things for him, if just for the rush of power he gets over having Schlatt (technically Glatt, but you know what I mean) of all people obeying his orders and serving him.)

Quackity tries to force the ghost to leave him alone for some time but Glatt is just really persistent

So eventually he just accepts the ghost isn't going away and tries to make use of him instead

It's pretty hard, because Glatt's memory is as volatile and his personality and so it's really hard for Glatt to learn anything that sticks but they make due

Whatever solutions Quackity finds for Glatt, I don't know about them

But imagining Glatt working under Quackity as the duck's well-behaved guard dog and prrsonal servant is really entertaining to me

Kinda like karma, ya know?

TL;DR: Glatt becomes Las Nevadas's resident (un)friendly ghost and makes Quackity rethink his life choices for the 3064th time :D

(these headcanons have definitely been discussed before. Im not saying anything new, but i needed to write it down somewhere.)

[thepoppypenner]

Schlatt: I'm the man of this house, Alex. I work hard every day to provide for this family. And as the man of the house, I command you to give me permission to go out today.

[thepoppypenner]

You guys :'( /pos