#purp down

[purpleprosaist]

I feel like I'm evil and deservedly hated no matter what I do or don't do

What if any choice I might make, even between exact opposites, no matter which I choose, is always wrong simply for being chosen by me

[purpleprosaist]

Ugh I am too intense & I literally can't stop being this way no matter what I try.

[purpleprosaist]

Feeling like I've made a fool of myself everywhere I possibly could have. Bc I genuinely have made a fool of myself everywhere I possibly could have, just how it's always been since birth, but that's not my point. My point is I don't have a point. Just. Foolishness.

[purpleprosaist]

once again I am using hobbits to cope bc I'm sick of humanity

do not talk to me if u r not in fact a hobbit

[purpleprosaist]

I know I'm in a bad state right now. My mind is screaming at me to scream, you know? Maybe you don't. Either way, I'm sorry.

I will honestly never not be in a bad mental place tho. This is why I try to keep this nonsense to the "purp down" tag, which I highly suggest you block if you follow me.

Unfortunately, as much as it seems I genuinely need a break from tumblr altogether, the alternative of what's going on in real life for me is far worse. Things would be so much more torturous in my head if I was away for too long. I have a few other things to occupy my mind, so I'm trying to make sure I utilize them as best as I can to take care of myself. Even more unfortunately, despite my best intentions this is simply impossible for the fact that I am literally living in a constant state of panic, and it leaves me quite unable to function altogether.

I still feel I have the responsibility to be kind here, no matter how much of an empty void it can feel. Which is exactly why I've gotten myself into the habit of tagging "purp down". I'm tagging those posts with at least this almost every time now. This tag is there so that anyone whose vibes would be uprooted by a sudden deluge of depressing posts can block it. When I'm in these states, I can hardly discern what needs tagging and by what exact terms because everything bad just feels like such utterly uncensored plain truth to me. Unless you're as numb as I am, and probably even if you are, please, block "purp down".

[purpleprosaist]

oh i was so excited why did i do that

[purpleprosaist]

so sad ß so stupid

[purpleprosaist]

Any good fluff? (alternately: Hey who feels like taking time outta their day to prod a sad ugly bear? like the potentially rabid animal kind not the big cuddly man kind)

Just in need of a good cheer up. A good escapist cheer up. A gay good escapist cheer up. Got a headcanon or a fic rec or something to spare? I'm sorry.