Halloween prompt: House takes baby!Thirteen out trick or treating for the first time
hehe, I love this prompt! ty Jet for submitting it <3
House isn't much of a holiday person. But even he can't deny that Halloween is objectively the best holiday of them all, especially now that he has a kid (and a cute kid at that). Free candy to mooch from just from walking around the block? Sign him up.
Thirteen is dressed in the costume she insisted upon: a huge, round jack-o-lantern, with some adjustments made to make the face properly scary looking. (which Bee/oddlittlestories did a drawing of!!) she's pretty chatty for her age, and House has spent the past few days drilling her on how to say "trick or treat" as adorably as possible. She's practiced and got it down-pat. She's so ready for this. She's going to be the cutest kid in all of fucking Plainsboro.
First stop of the night is Wilson's apartment (of course). House carries Thirteen up to the doorstep and is giving her a pep talk. "You remember what we practiced, right? I knock on the door, I'll put you down, the door opens– that's when you hit 'em with the big guns. You remember what to say?" Thirteen nods. (Of course she does, she's his kid and she's smart as a whip. He's confident.) "Alright, let's get this show on the road. Knock 'em dead."
House knocks on the door, sets her down on the ground, takes one step back. He can hear muffled footsteps from inside. The door opens, and he sees the silhouette of Wilson holding a bowl full of candy. Before he can say anything, Thirteen throws her arms up, jumps towards him, and shouts "ROAR!" at the top of her little lungs.
House puts his head in his hands (but he's laughing behind them). When he looks up, Wilson is feigning terror as Thirteen toddles towards him, the giant pumpkin costume wobbling adorably with each step. "I got you, Jimmy!"
"What happened to 'trick-or-treat'?" House asks.
Wilson crouches down to Thirteen's height, and then pretends to be knocked aside when she gently baps him with one little hand. "I think she decided that SHE wanted to be both the trick and the treat."
"Yeah!" Thirteen grins and points to her costume. "Look, Jimmy! Scary!" (but of course she can't say her R's yet).
"Absolutely terrifying." House agrees. "But hey, Lucky Thirteen. Don't you want to show Jimmy what we practiced?"
"What you practiced?" Wilson raises a brow.
Thirteen frowns. "Not scary."
"You can be as blood-curdlingly horrifying as you want after we get some candy."
Thirteen brightens again. "Okay!" Without hesitation, she holds out her fabric candy basket and looks up at Wilson with the most adorable little smile he's ever seen. "T'ick o' t'eat!" (To her credit, she enunciates well for her age, minus those damn R's).
"Oh my god." Wilson looks up at House with an expression that's half-horrified, half-intrigued. House grins. "You trained her. Like a dog."
"T'ick o' t'eat!" Thirteen repeats, and pushes her basket against Wilson's knee. "Candy?"
"She's not a dog, Wilson. She's a finely tuned magnet for all the candy in Plainsboro."
"Yes, you can have some candy," Wilson assures Thirteen. He reaches for the discarded bowl and pulls out a small handful to drop into her basket. Looking back up at House, he says, "You are terrible. I expect a cut of no less than thirty percent of your earnings."
"Save me the Reese's in that bowl and we have a deal."
Thirteen ends up trying to scare people at almost half of the houses, but she's so adorable that she's showered with candy regardless. By the end of the night they've got enough to last them weeks.
