i wrote this little drabble thing for my zombie au and i don't want it to rot in my notion any longer so i'm putting it here. maybe i'll make it an actual full thing idk.
just some brief context: evbo's a sentient zombie with amnesia and raymond is his ever suffering boyfriend. enjoy : D
Evbo’s waist twitches underneath Raymond’s fingers. His skin is an uncomfortable type of warm. The kind that frozen meat gets when sitting for too long. Evbo’s skin isn’t as soft as it used to be. It doesn’t mold nicely under Raymond’s hold, doesn’t have as much give.
He wants to hate it. Hates that he’s relieved by it. Evbo used to bruise so easily, pretty porcelain skinned marred by the simplest of things. He can’t bruise now. Not when he’s like this.
“Ray?” Evbo’s voice is soft. It takes a second for Raymond to register it, shaking his head to get rid of the fog. One of Evbo’s hands rest on his. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he mutters. He puts his head in the crook of Evbo’s neck. His hands move to wrap his arms around Evbo, pressing him closer to his body. “Just let me have this for a second.”
Evbo, mercifully, is quiet for a moment. There’s no hum of electricity in the room, just the quiet crackle of the candles they’ve lit. Cicadas sound loudly outside. In the distance, a few owls are hooting.
For just a moment, Raymond lets himself pretend. He pretends he’s some years in the future, in a nice quiet neighborhood in a nice quiet town. Evbo and him are waiting for Tabi to come home, another late night just to make sure she made it back safe. They’d hear the door open, and Evbo would leave his arms to go greet her. Raymond would stay behind to get their bed ready, because despite their best efforts it always ended up a mess.
For just a moment he can pretend he’s going to go bed tonight with his partners. That he’s going to go bed with a full stomach. That he’s going to go to bed happy, that he’s going to go to bed safe.
It’s just for a moment, and then Evbo drags him out.
“You…” He pauses. His hands hover awkwardly in the air, eventually settling onto the windowsill. “Do you miss him again?”
Him. As if he’s someone completely different. As if Raymond can’t see all the ways that he’s still the same, that he never changed. As if he hasn’t spent days, weeks, months telling Evbo that he’s still the man he loved, that he’s still the man he loves.
As if the person Evbo watches in those recordings (over and over and over) isn’t a reflection.
And maybe, Raymond thinks, it isn’t.
“Not right now.”
Evbo takes a breath. Big, whole, terribly dry. It stays there, far longer than it should be. Raymond squeezes slightly, and it comes whistling out. It fizzles out with a hiss, and suddenly Evbo is much more limp in his arms than before.
“Jesus-!”
It’s muscle memory that keeps him from dropping him. Raymond drags him over to the bed. His lower half is hanging off, and it’d be uncomfortable for anyone that was still human. “Dude, seriously? What was that?”
Evbo hums. He stays there. Silent, still, like he’s suddenly lost all the energy to do anything. Raymond wants to stay annoyed, wants to hold onto it, but he can’t. He’s never been able to.
He sighs, pulling Evbo onto the bed properly. He lays down next to him, pulling him closer. It’s like dealing with a rag doll: Evbo’s entirely dead weight as he maneuvers him into a more comfortable position. They’re chest to back, Raymond curled up slightly around him.
The silence that follows is suffocating, but not quite. Evbo’s not breathing, completely lax. There’s no indication that he’s awake. If he isn’t, Raymond wants him to rest. But someone has to make sure he doesn’t go off the deep end.
He ends up nuzzling the back of Evbo’s head, the ever present sweetness of death filling his nose. Evbo moves it back, grumbling too low for Raymond to make anything out. Good. He’s responding.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
He feels Evbo stiffen. Raymond closes his eyes, tightens his hold just slightly. Maybe it’s not the right thing to say. Maybe there’s different words he could’ve used, different actions he could’ve taken.
But it’s pointless to wonder about the possibilities.
“Me too.”
For a moment, Raymond thinks he’s hearing things. “Mh?”
Evbo gets impossibly lax. Raymond’s arms sink into his flesh, almost liquid-like in their consistency. “…I’m glad you’re here, too.”
