idk if you're still accepting prompts but if so hand holding #6?
6. running their thumb over the other’s hand
"Eiji!" Ash calls, and he's gasping for breath. "Eiji—!"
It was a nightmare it wasn't real you're okay you're safe now you're safe it's over! It's over, Ash. It's over.
Then where is Eiji? Why is he waking up alone?
That's ... his worst fear, most days. Waking up without Eiji.
"Ash?" Eiji's voice. "Sweetheart, I'm here. Can you hear me?"
"Y-yeah," Ash manages. He looks around desperately until his eyes land on Eiji. Things are a little blurry, still, but—Eiji. He's here. "Help me?" A plea.
"I'm here," Eiji repeats. "Stay with me, love."
Eiji reaches out and takes hold of Ash's hand, and Ash gasps out a breath.
"Sorry!" Eiji says quickly, pulling his hand away. "I did not mean to startle you. Are you okay?"
Ash whines. "Eiji! Come back, please ..."
"You—want me to hold your hand again?" Eiji clarifies, and Ash nods.
"Please ..." Fuck. He's pathetic. Eiji must know he's a miserable wreck by now, right? He's got to know better than to stay. Ash shouldn't even be asking for him like this, guilt tripping him into helping. Ash is the worst.
But even still, Eiji just says, "Whatever you need, Ash." He takes Ash's hand gently in both of his, and rubs his thumb over Ash's knuckles. "I'd do anything for you."
Whatever you need, Eiji says, as if the things Ash needs are reasonable requests. Like he's not asking the impossible of the only person in the world who's selfless enough to give it. As though forgiveness is real, and repentance is a thing that comes easy.
Almost like he really loves Ash.
It makes Ash a little sick, sometimes.
But when Eiji is here, holding his hand like this—when Eiji is the only thing grounding him to the present, to a time and a place where he's okay—then Ash ... Maybe he's even more selfish than he thought, because he can't bring himself to regret asking for help.
"Eiji," Ash whines again. Doesn't he know any other words?
None that matter.
"I'm here, love." Eiji keeps running his thumb over Ash's hand, like how he pets Ash's hair back away from his eyes. Like the way he ran his fingers gently over one of Ash's scars, and instead of adding to the pain, he eased it. The way Eiji kissed that same scar the next night—only after asking—and some of the pain really did seem to go away. The way Eiji is the only one who can do that. Who can make the past feel like the past, and the present feel okay.
Who can make the present worth it, Ash thinks. He takes his other hand and adds it on top of both of Eiji's. Eiji smiles at him, so maybe that was okay. Maybe that was the right decision. Maybe it's okay.
"How are you feeling?" Eiji asks, and Ash takes a breath.
"I'm okay," he says, though it's not fully true, and Eiji knows it. "I'm okay."
"What do you need?"
Ash hesitates.
"Do not be afraid to ask. Anything I can give you—all of it is yours if you want it."
"Just you," Ash murmurs. He lets himself flop back onto the pillows, and pulls Eiji's hands with him. "I just need you."
"Then I am here," Eiji promises. He smiles, and lays down next to Ash.
"Can I ... ?" Ash starts, but unsure how to continue, he just rolls onto his side and presses against Eiji. "Like this?"
"Whatever you need," Eiji says again, and maybe some good things aren't impossible. If Eiji is here, then ... maybe some good things are meant to last.
Their hands are tangled together—two people, four hands, twenty fingers, and two souls that complete each other in a way that Ash didn't think he would ever feel. In a way that he didn't think was made for him. What could ever complete someone so broken? Pieces missing, a heart and a soul and a body that's been beaten and—bruised and—fractured beyond repair.
Maybe some of that never really will go away, but maybe Ash doesn't think about it all the time anymore. Maybe it doesn't ... define him.
"Eiji?" Ash whispers.
"Yes, love?"
"Never let me go."
Eiji breathes out a laugh. "I don't think I could if I tried."
Touches prompt game!
