Adam isn't quite sure he will ever breathe again. What is he supposed to do, knowing Ronan is supposed to die? Fuck the fates. Fuck it all.
Aurora does not look surprised by the reply, but she closes her eyes in sorrow for a moment anyway.
"What more of the prophecy?"
She opens her eyes. "Kavinsky's death will be first."
"Kavinsky?"
"He's the best fighter for the Romans," she says. "He is the best fighter."
Apart from Ronan, they all think.
Suddenly, Adam is able to breathe a little again. Oxygen fights its way into his body. Kavinsky's death will be first. He is the best fighter. No one will be able to defeat him, apart from Ronan, then.
"You can't kill him," Adam says.
Ronan grins, all teeth. Feral. Sharp. "What has Kavinsky ever done to me?
- know him in death (at the end of the world) by me
{ prompt. } || (24) soulmate au & (82) second love
falling out of love with blue is hard in itself but to know that she has fallen out of love with him first fucking sucks
& he knows it’s not her fault at all, that she cannot help it just as he could not help falling in love with her, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt
adam met blue when they were fourteen and freshmans in their math class at mountview high and they were friends in that hesitant way at the beginning where adam was trying to keep his head down and do well whilst blue just generally hated most the population
it’s not anything profound, just that before they knew it, blue’s soulmate mark of the constellation of andromeda on her shoulder appeared one day on his own shoulder, and his intricate soulmate mark of a vined plant of some sort scatters itself across the left side of her ribs too
and blue’s his person, the only one who even came close to understanding him, the one who’s always there
but one day she’s wearing a normal ripped crop top that she’s sewn together with some sort of mesh and his soulmate mark on her is faded, like a bleach stain that tried to be scrubbed away but never really kept away
and he’s like. a minor disaster and blurts it out and asks her what happened
and blue didn’t even NOTICE djkhg she’s like?? what are u talking about?? oh my god.
and adam has to check his shoulder to make sure that hers is still on his shoulder and it’s like. yep still there
it’s v embarrassing and blue thinks it’s a mistake like it faded in the sun or smth but adam KNOWS that that’s not it. she’s v clearly,,,, falling out of love with him and it SUCKS
but anyways it’s fine they try for a few months but it just doesn’t work anymore and it sucks and they break up and adam’s. fine. it’s fine they were clearly not meant to be
the day after they break up, blue’s rib only has the outline of adam’s soulmate mark but dfkjhg at least hers is starting to fade on his shoulder
anyways they’re still best friends bc blue’s still the only one who Gets Him (at the moment, ha hah ha)
along comes. ronan fucking lynch
he’s dropping his car at boyd’s bc it’s got a busted engine or smth idk anything about cars and he’s Also got this monster of a tattoo across his whole back,,, it’s distracting
naturally, they’re huge dicks to each other at first & then it turns into funnier banter & ronan’s still coming back even tho his damn car is fixed
‘is that ur soulmate mark,’ adam asks one day, gesturing to ronan’s back, and he sounds awkward doing it but . he Has To Ask
ronan snorts, the absolute fucking nerve, ‘no’ & like. that’s it. adam’s gonna fight him one day
fdghjd adam doesn’t rly look in the mirror at himself, he doesn’t have one except for that tiny one in his apartment bathroom but he’s wiping his face and turns away but catches a glimpse of something and has to turn away bc what the Fuck is that on his lower back
u guessed it folks. ronan’s soulmate mark is a tramp stamp of raven wings. i’m literally dying i hate myself
but adam can’t even ask bc fkjhg how is he supposed to say Oh Yes i rly want to see ur massive back tattoo bc seeing the edges and sneak peaks of it turns me on but also i want to know if i have ur soulmate mark
also the poor boy thinks it’s an unrequited thing at first like. ofc he ends up falling for him this is dumb as shit
fast forward a few months where they’re friends and being disasters about it and ronan’s picking adam up from his shift at the garage and adam’s in those mechanic overalls You All Know The One and it’s tied at his waist and ronan’s basically dying this is the worst
it gets WORSE bc the t shirt adam is wearing is riding up so u can see a bit of his stomach and ronan changes his mind, he wants to die now
and then he stretches, popping his bones and making that fuck ugly sound, and the shirt rides up more so he can see adam’s vine soulmark (ronan knew djkhg this boy fell in love with adam so quick it’s on his own damn ribs) but there’s something black peeking around the side and it looks…. suspicious
anyways these human messes finally figure themselves out and live a happy life bc god knows this au needs some peace Too Much has happened to them
this request is so old y’all idek if the anon is still even expecting anything from me SORRY but anyways i finally got off my arse to finish this small thing off???? it didn’t turn out the way i wanted to with the prompt??? oh well??? i love my boys leave me kudos/comments on the ao3 version THANK!!!!!
“How’d you get a nun to lie for you?” Adam asks suddenly, bemused. He’s propped up on his elbow, one palm encasing his chin as he stares at him.
As expected, Ronan shrugs, something complicated twisting in his face. The bones of his jaw look sharp enough to cut, but Adam raises his fingers to trace a line along it anyway. He was never scared of getting cut, to be honest — he’s lived with enough violence to be actively afraid anymore. Not that Ronan was violence in any way; or he was in the most obvious ways, but Adam trusts that Ronan would rather break himself than hurt Adam in any way. As uncomfortable Adam is to even think about having that much power over someone, the fact is there, and Adam likes working with facts.
Ronan shivers.
“I’m serious,” Adam says when Ronan doesn’t make a verbal response, and Ronan rolls his eyes. “Don’t know too much about religion, but I’m pretty sure lying is a sin, right? So — what? You just asked her to lower my rent and lie about it being taxes, or whatever?” The gesture still wounds Adam’s pride slightly, but he pushes it away.
“I’m just naturally charming, I suppose,” Ronan drawls.
Adam scoffs, fingers still wandering along Ronan’s jaw line. “Asshole. You really not going to let me in on your secrets?”
The exhale Ronan does is not quite his smoker’s cough, but something resembling its cousin, and before Adam can comment on it, Ronan’s leaning forward to press their mouths together again, the kiss lazy but deep.
“She thinks I’m in love with you,” he says quietly, beats too late that Adam is surprised that he got a real answer. He’s so caught up in the kiss and Ronan actually replying that it takes a while for the actual meaning behind the words to catch up; he can feel the words form as Ronan’s jaw bones move, and his fingers still from where they’re still resting on his face.
“Oh?”
Ronan shrugs again, and Adam’s fingers slip down to the dipped space between Ronan’s shoulder and neck. “She’s not wrong. I guess. Or whatever.” His attempted nonchalant tone misses a field out. Adam can feel the pulse in Ronan’s neck beating an erratic beat, and it feels strange to know that someone as impossibly alive and beautiful as Ronan seems to care so much about a boy like Adam. Ronan Lynch, an impossible boy, who balances breaking and breakable, drag races and farms, seeks out to make scars on his knuckles and goes to church to pray. It doesn’t feel as if a boy like him should exist, and yet. And yet.
There’s something blooming in Adam’s chest, and his hand cups Ronan’s neck tighter, moving forward to kiss him again. They’re both out of breath by the time Adam pulls back, the tip of Ronan’s ears red.
“So, you’re in love with me. Or whatever,” Adam says, head tilted to the side playfully, because they should definitely talk about this, but they’re also two teenage disasters of boys who feel like pulling out their own teeth would be easier than conversations about feelings. That’s for someone like Gansey to do. They can only hope that they get better at this as time goes on, but at the moment, they’re eighteen and stupid about each other and combating real feelings in the only way they know how.
A flash of something flits across Ronan’s face, just for a second, like he’s afraid, but the smirk and glint in Adam’s eyes seem to clear something up for him. A dark eyebrow quirks up, his dangerous grin making an appearance, and he leans forward even closer until they’re only centimetres apart. “Yeah, and what?”
Adam blinks, thoroughly aware of everything Ronan at the second, but he’s nothing if not quick thinking. “Then I may say that the sentiment is reciprocated.”
They stay like that for a moment, tantalisingly close, before Ronan snorts once and kisses Adam in a single movement. Then, he’s standing up with an eyeroll. “Reciprocated. Gross. That’s, like, a Gansey-esque word.”
“Sorry for being educated,” Adam throws back, flopping back onto the bed.
“Whatever, I need to piss.” Ronan’s already halfway to the bathroom, and Adam is decidedly not staring at his behind, but he pauses and spins back around. He’s got that same expression that simultaneously turns Adam on and makes him want to punch him. “Hey, Parrish.”
Adam hopes he gives him most unimpressed look as a response.
Ronan raises an eyebrow. Gives him a once-over, causing Adam to flush just slightly. Makes eye contact. “I love you.”
It’s almost impossible, the way he says it like it’s a challenge, yet soft.
“I love you too, asshole,” Adam says, grabbing a pillow behind him and throwing it across the room. Ronan catches it in one hand, throws it back and cackles as he leaves the room.
me: writes in my tags for u to send me a pynch prompt and u DELIVERED thanks anon!!!! anyways i just wanted to write the first time they said i love u so i did #29 && i’ve also never written them before so if y’all could leave me a kudos on ao3 or ur opinions that’d be gr9!!!!
“I love you,” Adam says, and he’s trying for it so desperately not to be a big deal, but it is, and he knows it, and Ronan knows it, and he’s said it, agonisingly slow, because he doesn’t know how to say it naturally. The Adam who took his father’s beatings without hitting back is a different boy, except he’s not really, not in the way he flinches at raised voices and cruel fists. He’s not sure he’s truly felt love and affection in its true capacity before, with a raging father and painfully silent mother, and there’s still a part of him that is terrifyingly uncertain about this. But he cannot ignore the simultaneous quiet and frantic beating of his heart when he is with Ronan. Cannot pretend he does not feel at peace when he is touching his skin.
It means a lot. This is important. He doesn’t want this to alter anything, but love is a big deal for him, and it’s a big deal for Ronan, and this moment feels electric.
“I love you,” Ronan says — no wavering, no hesitation, just Ronan who does things with everything in him. This isn’t just a confession, but a rebirth. The words taste strange on his tongue, like his body knows saying this combination of words in this order is unfamiliar. Not because — not because he doesn’t love. This is a boy who dreamed epipens and hand lotion for friends he was worried about, pressed baby mice to his cheek to feel their heartbeat, let himself be swallowed by darkness so he could give Blue the only light they had. Ronan Lynch loves, and he doesn’t have to tell people, because words feel clumsy in his mouth whereas actions feel more like home.
It’s only you. Why do you hate you?
I don’t.
It means a lot. This is important. Maybe he’ll never be the same boy he was before he found his father’s broken body, and maybe Gansey is finally getting used to that, maybe he is finally getting used to that, but he doesn’t need to be. Dragging himself out of the darkness means he’s allowed to be a little bruised, scarred, thick skin over thick skin. He is not the same person, but he does not have to be. He can be different.
When he says I love you, he is talking to Adam, but he is talking to himself too. He is letting himself love Adam. He is giving everything up now, after being ashamed for so long. He is not letting the guilt and shame fester in his stomach anymore, not letting it live under his skin like unwanted rot. He has spent so long tearing himself apart, limiting what he can and cannot have, not even permitting himself to think about his second secret.
He can be different. He does not have to wake up everyday wanting for it to be the last. He will not let himself, anymore.
And Adam says it first. This is important. Adam says it first, and they’re both giving up something, placing their raw heart in front of each other like it’s glass; it’s fragile, this is still breakable. These two tattered boys with tattered souls, only knowing love in abstract forms and dreams. Is this what it feels like to let someone have everything that you are, without being afraid they’re going to turn it into a weapon?
It is fitting that this profound moment is between the two of them sitting in this car. It could’ve happened in Adam’s apartment above St. Agnes where it could’ve been made literally holy, or Monmouth where it could’ve felt like home, or somewhere completely unremarkable where they could have this away from the prying eyes of a town Adam can’t wait to fucking get out of, but it’s here, in Ronan’s BMW with the windows rolled down. Ronan, making the driver’s seat behind the steering wheel look like his damn throne. Adam, feeling a pulse humming under his skin. Ronan, sober. Adam, sober. The only haziness they’re feeling is from happiness.
When they lean forwards to press their lips together, it’s like the crash of the ocean violently hitting the shore, before dispersing softly.
