For all the talk about “don’t police our speech/irentity” coming from q***rs, they’re awfully insistent at policing the speech of those who avoid or refuse the Q-slur, and the identity of those who identify as not q***r.
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For all the talk about “don’t police our speech/irentity” coming from q***rs, they’re awfully insistent at policing the speech of those who avoid or refuse the Q-slur, and the identity of those who identify as not q***r.
I feel like I am so much more incapable of reclaiming slurs than most people…
I can’t handle queer or cripple or faggot or hermaphrodite (all slurs I may technically be able to reclaim). They hurt to read and they hurt to type. They evoke the names I’ve been called even if I’ve never been shouted them in the street or at events (though I generally have been).
Maybe it’s an internet bias scenario where the ones who reclaim are the loud ones but… I never heard the quiet ones and I feel like I’m alone. I feel like they’re being reclaimed for the community without us (which is why I am so adamant in telling people that you can only ever reclaim for yourself).
Don’t EVER call me any of these without my explicit consent. I don’t care if you’re referring to us collectively. Don’t you EVER call me a slur without my consent. And don’t you dare act surprised when I get upset if you do.
Something that really annoys me about the overly progressive lgbt+ crowd is that they will change their arguments for something when one wears out. It’s so annoying because it should be obvious that, when your argument doesn’t work anymore, maybe it’s because you’re wrong. Don’t make up a new one! The best example of that is their use of the q-slur. They’ve had several different arguments about why it’s okay and how actually it is extremely homophobic to NOT like it. They’ve used things like:
- “You just hate it because it’s too inclusive!”
- “Actually it’s been reclaimed by the whole community since the 60s”
- “It’s my identity and you’re invalidating that!”
- “Gay and lesbian were slurs too!”
- And the newest one “actually it was our word first and it was turned into a slur so we’re just taking it back.”
And every single one of these arguments ignores the fact that, whether these are true or not, it is EXTREMELY inappropriate to use them for people who didn’t let you know that it was okay (and that means using it to refer to a group of people or the community as a whole is also inappropriate)
I think a massive issue with people not realizing that q***r is a slur is they were too young to remember that sodomy laws still existed in the USA until ✨2003✨
i really wish “queer is also about straight men being allowed to show their feelings and be vulnerable” was like satire or some kinda sockpuppeting but it seems like some people are really that detached from lgbt people’s realities
People who advocate for using the q-slur: we can reclaim any slurs we want. For you, for me, for anyone. We have reclaimed it and will reclaim any word we so choose.
Those same people when Blaire calls herself the t-slur:
When I was outed at the age of thirteen, I was bullied very badly. I was tormented by so many students in my school for months. I had food thrown at me. I had my ass slapped. I was sexually harassed by both boys and girls. I had to switch classes just to get away from some of my worst tormentors.
It's been over a decade since I went through that. But I'll never forget the way those students made me feel, and I carried that shame with me for a long time. The shame of feeling othered, weird, bizarre, freakish. That's how they treated me.
And so no, I don't like to be called "queer." I don't want to be called anything that means weird, strange, peculiar, or bizarre—and make no mistake, that is absolutely what the word originally meant, and it still carries that connotation in a lot of circles—because it makes me remember the way those students made me feel all those years ago.
If you don't have the same baggage that I do, or you've been able to move past it, then good for you. I'm truly happy that this word doesn't hurt you the way it hurts me. But please don't force this word on me or anyone else who carries the same kind of emotional baggage surrounding it. Reclamation is a personal thing, and it's something I do not choose for myself.
idk as someone who’s working on integrating “queer” into my identity, i still have so many fucking negative feelings about the word, and i genuinely think i would have been able to come to terms with my trauma regarding it much earlier if people hadn’t shamed me for not identifying with it or for saying that you should respect other people’s boundaries/identities