Subtlety is overrated.
It's a crime that the digital editions changed this masterpiece of a song choice.
Lyrics in the background: "I want you... oh... I wanna feel you from the inside."
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Subtlety is overrated.
It's a crime that the digital editions changed this masterpiece of a song choice.
Lyrics in the background: "I want you... oh... I wanna feel you from the inside."
Brian Kinney coded
Loved all of your britin answers. I don't have a proper question. Can you talk about Justin's love for Brian?
Haha well, I love talking about QaF, so any and all asks are welcome about it. Good writing, y'all: it gives me life.
I've talked at length about why I think the text indicates Justin fell for Brian here, and what falling for Justin did for Brian in terms of healing here and here.
I'll say a little more on the latter, which is that Brian believing love didn't exist was actually a protective mechanism. If love doesn't exist, then it doesn't matter that his parents never loved him or wanted him. But it becomes a maladaptive coping mechanism when he grows up, because instead of enabling him to survive like it did as a kid, it cripples him into refusing to take responsibility for whether or not he can love and in terms of him never really going after what he wants (because he does, in fact, want love).
But along comes Justin, who loves him no matter what. Even when he knows Brian doesn't want him. Even when Brian behaves like his worst self. Even when Brian's broke and poor. Even when Brian sells out by helping Stockwell at first. Even when Brian's physically sick and loses a ball. Even when Brian can't "perform." Even when Brian's stupid and pushes himself to complete a race his doctor definitely didn't sign off on as a matter of pride.
Even when he knows Brian doesn't want him at first is kind of key here, too. Therein Justin directly subverts the horrific, nightmarish reality of Brian's childhood, in which Brian's parents didn't want him. By loving Brian anyways, Justin shows Brian that just because he wasn't loved by people, it doesn't mean Brian's incapable of love. It also means Brian can be wrong, and still deserve love. It gives Brian the humanity his parents (and society) deny to him.
Love is as much a choice as it is a feeling, maybe more so. And even if Brian can't voice it until almost the very end, he shows Justin he loves him, as Justin calls out in season 3:
What you gave me was worth ... A million times more than anything he had to offer. You would've told me that you loved me. That you would go on loving me, even after I was gone.
Notably, after this moment Justin never directly questions whether or not Brian loves him ever again. Because he knew, as he'd known for years at that point, that Brian did, even if Brian never said it. (Fortunately, he did. Eventually.)
Loving Justin helped Brian love Justin at his worst self (like when he leaves Brian for Ethan), too. Brian not only experiences unconditional love, he gives it. That type of agape love that is so unconditional is life-giving, it's powerful, it's God (to quote Ted, who is quoting the Bible lol). It's the best of humanity and transcends the weaknesses of human mortality and time. It's somewhat of a metaphysical idea that QaF actually explores, which someday I will write about more. Someday.
Also, you know what might symbolize their love in the show? Colors.
You know how in Season 3 episode 8--that episode--Justin tells Brian "orange is the new blue?" Did you notice that the colors associated with probably about 3/4 of their scenes together are orange or blue or both? From the moment they meet in the very first episode (Justin under a yellow-orange streetlight, dressed in blue)..
to the outfit Justin's wearing when Brian shows up at Debbie's house for him...
to the orange light of the office when they get back together...
to how Brian changes his bed light from blue to orange after Justin says this (as noticed by @sophsun1).
It's literally a motif throughout the entire show. According to basic color symbolism theory :
Blue... is associated with open spaces, freedom, intuition, imagination, expansiveness, inspiration, and sensitivity. Blue also represents meanings of depth, trust, loyalty, sincerity, wisdom, confidence, stability, faith, heaven, and intelligence.
Orange, the blend of red and yellow, is a mixture of the energy associated with red and the happiness associated with yellow. Orange is associated with meanings of joy, warmth, heat, sunshine, enthusiasm, creativity, success, encouragement, change, determination, health, stimulation, happiness, fun, enjoyment, balance, sexuality, freedom, expression, and fascination.
To an extent color theory can be vague and mean a lot of things you want it to, but clearly the color scheme was deliberate, presumably for a reason. These basic associations are pretty broad and widely understood, too, so seems like a pretty good match for what their love is like: trusting, sincere, heavenly, free, inspiring, sunshine, sexual, success, etc.
In honor of Pride, here are some more of my Queer as Folk hot takes:
I hate the Jenny Rebecca custody battle storyline. For one thing, it's tedious as hell. Also, I don't believe Ben would support Michael in that bullshit. Ben is all about balance and everything in moderation. There's no way he would be like, "We know these 2 women are good mothers, but because they're no longer a couple, that makes me and Michael more qualified to have custody of JR." Like, no. When Hunter's mother came back, he was all set to send Hunter back to her without a custody battle before learning how she abused Hunter. Him supporting Michael in the fight for Jenny Rebecca makes no sense.
The way the show resolved Ted's self-esteem problems sucked. They literally made him have to have cosmetic surgery to have any confidence. It would've made more sense for Ted to have overall better mental health and realize his self-worth after becoming sober and having therapy. It would've been a much healthier message for society, too.
The show making Drew Boyd gay was stupid. The guy is obviously bisexual. He says he has sex with a million women as well as men. He also says he's attracted to and loves his female fiancee while he's having an affair with Emmett. He's not gay. Making him, as well as Hunter and Lindsay, binary sexualities is bi erasure and is straight up nonsensical.
Michael is often an asshole in season 5, and I hate how judgemental his character becomes. Yes, it's good that Michael doesn't bend over backward to defend Brian as much when Brian would never do the same for him. Especially since Michael often shielded Brian from criticism from others when Brian's choices frequently went against Michael's own values. A moment I especially hate is when Michael and Brian are fighting in the empty Babylon when Brian is trying to convince Michael to drop the custody battle for JR, because it'll fuck over Lindsay (which Brian is totally right about). Michael says that Brian needs to grow up because Brian doesn't want a monogamous relationship, to get married, or to have children. It's fucking bullshit. Brian is not childish for not wanting those things. Brian calls Michael out on being a judgemental, sanctimonious, twat. Michael used to defend Brian for having different desires for his life because Brian's wants are 100% valid. When Michael gets married, moves to the suburbs, and has JR/fosters Hunter, he becomes this dick who thinks that if you don't have the same priorities as him, you're immature. That's a horrible belief and a total change from the accepting person he used to be.
There could have been a much better ending to Ted revenge fucking the guy (Troy) who pity fucked Ted as a Pride "gift" in season 2. Ted's initial plan to tell Troy he's Ted's pity fuck now is awesome, and Ted falling for him is 100% on brand for Ted's character. Troy continuing to be an asshole and them breaking up, despite both genuinely liking each other in the show, makes me a little sad. I have an idea for a much better end for them. Troy immediately boasts to Ted about his hobby of sleeping with "losers" as a joke in the show and that he did it to someone in Ted's building (not realizing it was actually Ted himself). Instead of what the show did, as Troy and Ted spent more time together, Troy could have seen how well Ted treated people. It could've made Troy realize that what he used to do was really shitty. We could've even seen Troy run into one of his pity fucks earlier on his own and apologize, saying that he was horrible, lead the guy on, was sorry, and hoped the guy found someone who saw how great he was. Troy could've expressed to Ted that being with him made Troy want to be a better person (because Ted does that for essentially everyone in his life by being so supportive and kind, especially after getting sober). It would've been amazing for that final night at Babylon to go a different way. Emmett could still come up to ask if Ted had dumped Troy yet, only to realize Ted had fallen for him. Then, instead of what the show did, all of them could've seen Troy apologize to the random guy he wronged who came up to him about Troy ditching him. It would've been great if Troy said after that that he wished he could find the guy he did the same thing to in Ted's building so he could apologize to that guy too, and that Ted had inspired him to take accountability. The gang could see Ted admit that he was Troy's pity fuck there. Troy could sincerely apologize in front of everyone and say he'd understand if Ted never wanted to see him again and/or if all of Ted's friends hated him. The gang could give Ted and Troy their blessing, and Ted and Troy could end up together. After all, Ted's friend group forgave people for MUCH worse behavior (i.e. Blake nearly killing Ted).
What are your Queer as Folk unpopular opinions? Tag me in your post or put them in a reblog if you do this. Here is PART TWO:
People requested more of my Queer as Folk hot takes, so here is Part 2: The gang and Debbie were all terrible people and enormous hypocrite
Some of my Queer as Folk hot takes:
The show absolutely did Emmett dirty with his love life. He deserved so much better. The show's romantic ending for him will infuriate me until the day I die. We get, what, 4 sentences from the guy Emmett winds up with?
The show making Hunter straight was stupid. Hunter is bisexual. Why else would he be so pursuant of Brian? Hunter even offered to pay Brian to sleep with him, which makes zero sense if Hunter was legitimately straight. I feel similarly about Lindsay. I think she's bisexual, not a lesbian.
Ted and Blake should not have ended up together. Their relationship has waaayyyyy too much baggage. It was built on trauma and continued to grow on unhealthy power dynamics. Granted, it is slightly better than Ted and Emmett winding up together (they were a billion times better as friends), but that's an incredibly low bar.
I love Justin, but Justin was kind of a prick during a lot of season 2. He enters into a relationship with Brian (an enormous step on Brian's part that Justin should have appreciated more). What does Justin do mere weeks later? Break their agreement with some random guy at a party. True, it must've been beyond frustrating for Justin that Brian refused to tell Justin that he loved him. Still, Justin's resentment that they weren't monogamous or romantic enough annoys me to no end. Justin agreed to Brian's suggested relationship, and Justin set the majority of the parameters for it himself. Justin was the only one who violated their boundaries as a couple, and he did so very quickly. Yes, him cheating and eventually leaving was kind of understandable because he was young, and Ethan fed him a lot of bullshit that got Justin's hopes up. But it remains terrible. Brian was often a shithead, but he deserved better.
THE HOTTEST TAKE: Brian and Justin not getting married was the right thing to do, and (here's the hot take part) they should not get back together. That is, unless Justin changes his mind about monogamy, he and Brian get a new place together where they can both be successful, and they take partial custody of Gus. I see the last 2 things potentially happening, but if Justin continues to be dead set on monogamy, his and Brian's relationship will always be doomed like Brian says.
I have more unpopular opinions if anyone wants to hear them. What are your QAF hot takes?
EDIT: I posted a part 2 as well.
People requested more of my Queer as Folk hot takes, so here is Part 2:
The gang and Debbie were all terrible people and enormous hypocrites when they tried to dissuade Michael from dating Ben. They know Michael knows how to practice safe-sex. They know Michael is familiar with what care being HIV+ can/will eventually entail. He's grown up with Vic as his uncle. He's seen the worst. The gang (and most especially Debbie) were horrible and should have known Michael was smart and strong enough to have a partner who was positive. Debbie saying she doesn't want Michael and Ben to be together is diametrically opposed to her as a character, and I fucking hated it.
All of them were also bad friends/family when they encouraged Michael to move to Oregon with David. Well into Michael and David's relationship, Michael's friends should have pointed out to Michael that David didn't value him as a person, was condescending, never compromised, was trying to make Michael conform into someone he wasn't, etc. True, you can't help who you fall in love with, but real family/friends would have taken you aside and pointed out the way your relationship wasn't healthy before you got super invested, so you could at least try to fix issues before getting involved with someone deeper.
I love Michael with my whole heart and fully identify with this hot take, as I struggle with it as well. Michael is a doormat. He's always bending over backward to defend people who would never do the same for him- the biggest culprit being Brian. Michael is constantly going against his own values to defend Brian's shitty behavior towards everyone, even Michael himself. His and Brian's friendship is incredibly unhealthy. Hal Sparks and all of us were talking a while back, and he said that Michael wouldn't be as bad with that today, since being with Ben for almost 20 years (Hal and Robert Gant both agree they'd still be together) would have helped Michael gain more confidence to know he, and others, deserve better and to hold people accountable for shitty behavior. Well, Michael would stick to that most of the time.
The show's depiction of Brian's opinion on romance and relationships was muddled. The show begins by showing Brian as aromantic, which is totally valid. As time goes on, they make Brian's desire not to be in a romantic relationship, and his promiscuity seem unhealthy and just the result of psychological damage. That's harmful to the aro and ace community. I'd much rather the show have stuck with him being on the aromantic spectrum, with Justin just being his exception to the rule (which is also valid for us aro folx), instead of making Brian's life choices seem like some kind of damage or childish positions to have. Maybe that's just me, as I don't want kids, have zero desire to get married, and have very little desire to be in a relationship.
What are some of your QAF unpopular opinions? Tag me if you do this, or put yours in a reblog. I'd love to see them.
Here's PART ONE of the hot takes if anyone is interested:
Some of my Queer as Folk hot takes: The show absolutely did Emmett dirty with his love life. He deserved so much better. The show's romanti
Did anyone else notice that in season 3, until he and Justin are reunited, Brian never kisses anyone?
He claims that he and Justin were never in a relationship, he wasn't in love with Justin, and that he doesn't have hope of them getting back together.
Secretly, he always keeps true to their initial arrangement of only kissing Justin on the mouth, not seeing someone more than once, and never exchanging names/numbers with tricks. It's because his heart still belongs to Justin. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he knows it's true. It's why he hires the hustler who looks like Justin and he imagines that all the tricks he takes home are Justin.
Brian's heart will only ever belong to Justin for the rest of his life because Justin was his exception to the rule of Brian not believing in romantic love.
Why Michael is Important as Folk
Or really, a character analysis of Michael Novotny, one of Queer as Folk’s best characters whose friendship with Brian is deeply important, and without whom Brian/Justin wouldn’t work nearly so well. I said what I said.
I’ve seen a lot of Takes that seem to view Michael (and sometimes Lindsay too) as an obstacle standing in the way of Brian and Justin, and I just don’t think the writing supports this. If anything, for Michael especially, he’s an integral part of what makes Brian and Justin work as characters and as a relationship.
Michael helps Brian and Justin grow towards one another. His character pushes them together. He does this in a number of ways, but the most flagrant way throughout all five seasons is through all three of them acting as mirrors to each other. They all reflect different aspects of one another, showing the reality of how each of them needs to grow as well as the possibilities of who they can become. Only through this three-way reflection of each other’s flaws and dreams do Brian, Michael, and Justin grow into the men they want to be.
The three-way foiling also embodies the delicate tension of the motif of fantasy vs reality in QaF. This motif is most clearly present in Michael’s arc and challenges (fitting, because Michael is the narrator). Michael’s name may be a reference to Peter Pan, which Queer as Folk frequently references with Brian as Peter and Lindsay as Wendy. Michael Darling is Wendy’s littlest brother, and the one who starts to forget what life back in London is like as he spends more and more time in the fantastical world of Neverland. (Intentional or not, I don’t know, but it’s an interesting bit of trivia regardless.) Michael Darling is actually based on a real person, Michael Llewelyn Davies, who was probably gay, and died a tragic death at a young age (20) alongside his likely lover. (Davies’ siblings believed the pair committed suicide together.) But instead of dying in this story, Michael Novotny, Brian Kinney, and Justin Taylor all live and grow.
Season One: Justin as the Inner Child
Season 1 is really the only season where Michael deliberately tries to come between Brian and Justin, but the irony is that he ultimately needs Justin in his life just as much as Brian does (albeit in a different way).
When Season 1 opens, Brian and Michael have been kind of stuck for years in a sort of prolonged adolescence. Justin enters their lives as an actual adolescent and thereby shines a light on how exactly both Brian and Michael need to grow. Their adult lives aren’t exactly fantasy lives, but neither of them are able to admit it.
Brian, despite seemingly having a successful career and social life to go and appearing to go after everything he wants without a care, actually isn’t really good at pursuing what he wants. His life of sex and partying is pretty much a fantasy to dull the reality of a nightmarish childhood.
Meanwhile, Michael clings to the fantasy of Brian one day loving him at the expense of the reality that Brian does love him--just not romantically. Frankly, the reason Brian doesn’t ever sleep with Michael is because he loves him: that would be too much, too close for Brian, and he’d then push Michael away and Michael would actually go because Michael doesn’t demand things. Brian doesn’t want to lose Michael, so he doesn’t cross this line.
As for Justin, he claims that what he really wants is Brian, which he does. But he also has a fantastical notion of what that means--dates, boyfriends, romance. He describes Brian to Daphne using rather fantastical language, and Michael even comments that Justin’s taken artistic liberties when he draws Brian. However, unlike Brian and Michael up until that point, Justin digs in and commits to what he really wants:
Brian: Look, I don’t believe in love. I believe in fucking. It’s honest, it’s efficient. You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure, and a minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they’re in, so they can get laid. Then they end up hurting each other, because it was all based on lies to begin with. If that’s what you want, then go and find yourself a pretty little girl, and get married.
Justin: That’s not what I want. I want you.
Justin wants Brian, no matter what that means. He unapologetically goes after what he wants, and in doing so drags Michael and Brian along. In this, Justin is the key that unlocks Brian’s and Michael’s ability to develop and evolve. After all, Brian tells Justin that Justin can see him in his dreams, and Justin says okay, but let’s make that dream reality.
In terms of literary archetypes, Justin is Brian’s inner child. The “inner child” is a Jungian concept (and as always with Jung, his ideas are better applied to patterns in literature than real life psychology). The inner child represents a person’s younger self, a purity in a sense, a divinity--but also the traumatized part of us that, childishly, assumes it’s our fault that our traumas occur. Sometimes it’s even called the “wonder child” (which is literally what Michael calls Justin in the very first episode: “boy wonder”).
In every adult there lurks a child— an eternal child, something that is always becoming, is never completed, and calls for unceasing care, attention, and education. That is the part of the personality which wants to develop and become whole (Collected Works of Jung Vol. 17)
It’s symbolic that Brian has sex with Justin in Michael’s childhood bedroom. Terrified that his mom knows he’s gay, Justin flees towards Michael’s house--exactly what Brian used to do when his family was a nightmare growing up. Justin snoops through Michael’s bedroom, looking at photos of Michael and Brian as kids. Brian shows up for him, and in a sort of retread of the story of how Brian and Michael jerked each other off as kids (but Michael never got off), this time Justin gets Brian off in the same room. Michael is then furious at Brian:
Michael: You can fuck him at your place, you can fuck him in his gym class, you can fuck him at the zoo, but you cannot fuck him in my mother’s house--in my room!
But, the reason this seemingly-cringe scene works so well is because Justin is also Michael’s inner child; after all, he moves into Michael’s old bedroom, and Michael moves in with David--two events that are thematically paralleled. You see, despite Debbie et al thinking Michael has “a real chance with David,” he doesn’t. Why? Because David doesn’t love Michael for Michael--he loves the idea of Michael. Which? Is precisely what Michael loves about Brian.
Now, I don’t mean to suggest that Michael doesn’t know or love the real Brian. He does. But he clings to the idealization of Brian over the reality, which in turn prevents Michael from growing up. Through Michael’s failed relationship with David, he’s confronted with his own flaws in regards to his relationship with his best friend, and his ideas about love. Once he faces this in himself, he’s able to actually show up for Brian when he needs it, as a true friend.
The inner child is “healed” in Jungian works by grieving the loss of innocence, by appreciating the value of a childlike kindness. It’s not healed by looking at ti with contempt and telling it to grow. It starts to heal with Brian when he decides to make his inner child happy and go to prom with Justin. It starts to heal for Michael when he sits with Brian and grieves with him after their inner child is wounded and possibly dying in Justin.
Season Two: Brian as the Hero
Season 2 contains the most meta melding of fantasy and reality in the story: Michael and Justin’s team-up to create a gay superhero comic, which mirrors their real lives. But real life is messier than glossy comic books. Heroes are complicated.
Both of them choose Brian as their basis for Rage, because he’s their hero. Of course, Brian hates himself, so doesn’t react well, but the reality is... Brian has been their hero. But any hero has to face challenges to be able to become said hero.
Michael: I was thinking that Rage save some other kid's life after he was bashed...
Justin: I think it's a great idea.
Michael: You do? I mean, it's awfully personal.
Justin: The best art usually really is. Besides, I wanna talk about it. The trouble is no one would ever listen. They all pretend it didn't happen.
Michael: Now, here is your chance.
Justin: And it could be how Rage meets the love of his life.
Michael: I thought Rage didn’t believe in love.
Justin: We’ll let him think that.
[They smile]
In their creation and writing of Rage, we can see the differences in how Michael and Justin approach fantasy, reality, and their relationships with Brian. Justin’s name in the comics is just JT (his real life initials), symbolizing again his determination to bring the fantasy into reality.
In contrast, Michael’s is Zephyr, a completely fantastical name (also potentially an allusion to Zephyr the Greek god whom some legends say kills a man named Hyacinthus via hitting him in the head with a discus out of jealousy for Hyacinthus choosing to love Apollo, the god of the sun (sunshine, anyone?) over him; Apollo resurrects Hyacinthus and Hyacinthus achieves immortality and all is well). Michael is more willing to swallow the fantasy in some ways and in others, not so much. Plus, as mentioned earlier, Michael’s arc is about growing from a jealous, immature kid with a crush and into a supportive, loving friend to both Brian and Justin.
When Brian pisses on the drawing of himself as Rage, Michael and Justin’s reactions show us what they each bring to Brian. Michael accepts Brian as he is, as does Justin. But what makes Justin different is that he knows Brian can be better, and pushes Brian to grow (this is why, romantically, Michael and Brian would never work, but Michael and Ben work really well). Michael is a lot more willing to let things slide. But if Brian is actually to be a hero (which he becomes in season 3), he’s gotta be pushed.
Michael: I guess even a superhero can morph into a jerk.
Justin: Don't tell me you're gonna forgive him.
Michael: Who said that?
Justin: Knowing you guys’ dysfunctional history, you’d put up with anything... All this time I was fooling myself, thinking he loves me.
Michael: He does love you. You saw his face this morning. We could have removed his teeth with pliers and he would have let us.
Justin: Maybe we should have. He deserves it.
Michael: Well, now we know Rage's fatal weakness, and it's not kryptonite.
Through this conversation we see that Justin forces Michael to grow as well. Michael tells Justin, firstly, that Brian loves him (something he would not have said in the first season), and acknowledges his friend’s weakness, the weakness he’s always known was there: Brian is human. Brian wants to be loved just as much as every other person. And he states it directly to Justin, and then goes on to back Justin up when they demand an apology from Brian.
Brian: What I did was immature, childish, and addictive. It was an act of cruelty because of irrational fears and unfounded--jealousy. If I were you I've never speak to me again.
Justin: That's better.
Michael: It's really good.
But this applies to Michael as well: he realizes Brian is just like him. They have the same weakness Michael struggled with throughout season 1: jealousy. Thus, the power difference between them erodes. They share many things--including flaws. He doesn’t have to reach up to Brian anymore, and he can even pull Brian up at times. In fact, part of the reason Brian can face his own jealousy is because he’s seen Michael overcome it by now working with Justin
Part of the reason Michael is able to accept it this time--that he shouldn’t always just accept and can push Brian to grow--is because of Michael’s own personal struggles in season 2. The best people are still, well, people, and therefore flawed and in need of forgiveness. Earlier in the season, Michael had accept this about himself too: that he’s not always a good person. He can be cowardly, and he rejects Ben quite cruelly (really hurting Ben), and has to apologize to and grovel to get back together with Ben after. Because of this, he can accept that while he can be a jerk, he can also still be worthy of love--and has to promise to do better and live up to being better. Only after Michael accepts this challenge to grow can he be in a mature relationship of his own. (He’ll also have to accept that Ben can be a jerk, and still be worthy of love.) So Michael’s already been doing the work.
Michael can face his flaws because people like Justin and Ben forgive him, and because he can forgive others. The season ends, however, with Justin cliff-diving into his own encounter with his flaws, an encounter that will end up evening out the playing field in his and Brian’s relationship as well.
Season Three: Illuminating the Unconscious
Or, the season where Michael starts off at his most assholish but it’s all for the greater good.
The ironic aspect of Michael and Justin working together resulting in jealousy from Brian is that, well, at the launch of said project, Brian gets dumped. Justin leaves Brian for Ethan, who is literally all of Justin’s worst traits personified in what he assumed was an ultimate fantasy romance.
True to form, Brian then delves into deep, deep, deep denial. He’s always been expecting Justin to leave him. Michael is the character who provokes Brian into showing how much he cares--no, not in a calculated, deliberate way, but he does it all the same. Michael does this by showing how much he cares about Brian, even if he is a jerk himself about it.
Michael: Can you believe the nerve... I told him to stay the fuck out of our lives!
Brian: Why’d you do that?
Michael: After what he did?
Brian: He didn’t do anything. We were never happily married; he was always free to go, and so was I.
Michael: You’re just saying that. He’s a selfish little shit.
Brian: Be quiet, Michael.
Michael: He used you, he took from you, and he never gave back a thing.
Brian: I said be quiet!
Michael: And this is the thanks you get for saving his life? If you ask me, it wasn’t worth it. You might as well have just left him lying there--
[Brian punches Michael]
This is a rotten thing to say, no defense possible. Did Michael deserve to get punched for saying something so horrible? Absolutely. To be fair, which of us has not said something terrible about a friend’s ex who hurt them? ( ^▽^)っ✂╰⋃╯Still, this was just... below the belt.
What Michael says, though, provides several revelations for Brian and for Michael.
For Brian, the punch wakes Brian up to the reality that he could lose Michael, and he doesn’t want to. Brian apologizes and finally admits in a roundabout way that he loves Michael:
Michael: You never hit me before!... But I guess after what I said, I deserved it. You must really love him.
Brian I told him from day one, I don't believe in love, I believe in --
Michael: Fucking, yeah, I know.
Brian: Except for you, of course.
Michael's horrendous comment also shows Brian that Michael believes Brian deserves to be loved, which is something Brian struggles to believe. Brian's punch also demonstrates that Brian hates himself immensely, and doesn’t really want people to side with him. He’s still a hurting, self-loathing child who doesn’t think he deserved to be born. Michael ironically brings this out of the unconscious and into reality by being shitty out of his love for Brian (love is never inherently not selfish).
But, you gotta fight for love if you really want said love. That’s part of being a hero. Brian goes on to do this in subtle ways in season 3, like continuing to honor his commitment to pay for Justin’s college, which in turn inspires Justin to honor his commitment to work on Rage with Michael. Brian is also later able to give Justin a path back after his encounter with his worst self because Michael has helped Brian do this, and Brian has helped Michael do it as well. That’s why right after confirming he loves Michael, Brian tells Michael he wants Michael to “make up with [Justin]”.
So that’s what the punching scene does for Brian’s character arc. What does it do for Michael’s? Well, it gives Michael a consequence that brings him back to the messy reality where superheroes can be jerks--and sidekicks can be assholes.
The reality is that they can’t ever go back to the time before Justin, nor should they. Just because something hurts doesn’t mean it should never have happened--an important lesson for Michael going forward. Brian still loves Justin despite how badly Justin hurt him, and he will still love Michael despite the terrible thing Michael said.
Michael doesn’t get off scot-free from his cruelty either, nor should he. The narrative calls Michael out by having his own partner say something similarly cruel to him:
Ben: ... Sometimes I just think...
Michael: What? Sometimes you just think what?
Ben: That it might just be easier to be with someone who's positive.
In Michael’s struggle with Ben this season, he starts to move beyond his initial understanding in season 2 and truly live the messy reality that people are flawed and that, even when hurting, cruelty fixes nothing.
But back to the point of Michael’s terrible comments about Justin--what does it offer Justin? Justin never hears it, after all. But what it offers is that it clues the audience in to what Justin’s arc in the third season is all about.
No excuses for cruelty, again, but Michael is the only character who doesn’t excuse Justin for hurting Brian. This is a good thing for Justin’s growth, because Justin needs to face himself. Lindsay, Debbie, everyone--they excuse Justin when they shouldn’t. Now, I know I’ve said myself Brian was absolutely pushing Justin away and it wasn’t surprising Justin chose Ethan at the time, but that doesn’t make it okay or not hurtful to Brian. You’ve got to take responsibility for your own actions.
After all, Justin is the one who sets the rules for their open relationship, but also the one who repeatedly breaks them. He’s the one who chose Ethan at an event set up to celebrate Brian, which humiliated Brian.
As mentioned earlier, Ethan is the ultimate fantasy boyfriend--over-the-top romantic, loves art, incredibly talented and passionate... but he also lies and cheats and makes promises he can’t keep. Like, who else does that sound like?
After being with Ethan and then finding himself cheated on, Justin realizes that while Ethan always said he loved him, he never loved Justin more than his music. As flawed as Brian’s love is--and it is--Brian keeps proving he loves Justin even after Justin leaves him. Brian’s actions mean more than Ethan’s pretty words.
Brian is reality, while Ethan is fantasy. That doesn’t mean Brian can’t be better at showing he loves Justin (he can), but it does mean there’s an actual foundation there that there is not with Ethan.
Brian and Justin finally get back together after a conversation about their mistakes, not solely their strengths. They then work together as equal partners in Justin’s art campaign against Stockwell and Brian’s plot to capture the Dumpster Killer.
Season Four: Michael as the Reconciler
In the latter third of season 3, Michael again chooses a fantastical possibility over reality when he worries obsessively over the unborn child he has with Melanie, while literally wanting to turn an actual breathing, hurting human child (Hunter) out on the streets. But in the end, Michael overcomes this, risking it all to run away and protect Hunter from his abusive mother--the thing he was never able to do for Brian when Brian’s parents were abusing him during their childhood. Thereby Hunter becomes a sort of inner child for Michael as well, symbolizing his break with Brian--not in a bad sense, but in the sense of growing into his own person.
In season 4, Michael gets to show how he’s grown. He’s healed the inner child with Hunter, and continues to help his friends as they struggle with their own inner child issues: Brian with whether or not he deserved to be born (deciding to be treated for cancer or let himself die), and Justin with whether or not he should have died in Chris’s attack (via refusing to let Chris steal more of his future by not killing Chris).
In a reverse of Michael tattling on Justin to Brian in season 2, he tattles on Brian to Justin (I mean, I’m using the word “tattle” but don’t mean to imply it’s immature, because it’s not). Michael reminds Justin (who here has the right to be hurt, because Brian was at his absolute worst as a non-defined, nonconventional boyfriend after his cancer diagnosis) of who Brian is. Two steps forward towards vulnerability, then a jump back.
Michael brings Justin and Brian together again instead of trying to wedge them apart. He gives Justin the perspective he needs to go back there and take care of Brian, and the courage to show Brian the same kind of love Justin’s mother showed him in season 1, when, as Debbie tells Jennifer:
Debbie: ...the truth is, the thing [Justin]’s the most afraid of, even more than his dad finding out and beating the shit out of him, is that you will stop loving him.
This is not to say Brian and Justin, Brian and Michael, or Michael and Justin are 1=1 parallels to Jennifer’s love for Justin, but instead to say that the comparison with a mother’s love shows a maturation of all three of these relationships.
They choose to live and continue despite the obstacle course that is life, and despite the injuries they carry. In fact, the reason all three of them can continue is because of each other, which is most perfectly displayed in the finale of season 4.
Michael and Justin both try to warn Brian to face reality: his body’s not in any shape to handle the bike ride. Brian, true to form, does not care. When reality sets in and Brian breaks his collarbone yet still insists on continuing, Michael sets in to help him along. Even when reality is crushing, if they help each other, they can achieve the impossible. Loving relationships make a little magic, bring a little fantasy to our world.
At the end of the race, Justin waits for Brian over the finish line, but Brian needs Michael to get there. The metaphor is clear: Justin is endgame. But Brian would never get there if it were not for Michael.
Season Five: Michael, Brian, and Justin as Fully Realized Individuals
Come season 5, Michael, Ben, and Hunter move to the suburbs. Michael’s reality is what Brian sees as a fantasy, and Brian doesn’t respect it. He lashes out at Michael for Michael’s life looking differently than Brian’s own, and panics when Justin’s desire to have a domestic life becomes more and more apparent. He blames Michael for it, trying to see Michael as the problem. But as Michael tells him, the problem is Brian:
Brian: You infected him, with your petty, bourgeois, mediocre, conformist, assimilationist life! Thanks to you he's got visions - babies, weddings, white picket fences - dancing in his blond little head.
Michael: And you think I put them there?
Brian: Before you and your husband tied the noose around your necks he was perfectly happy! But now, he's a defector, just like the rest of you!
Michael: He was never perfectly happy! Waiting for years for you to say "I love you, you're the only one I want."
Brian: That's not who I am!
Michael: Don't we all know!
The reality is, as has been clear to any viewer of the series, that Justin has always wanted these things. Like, he’s talked about it since the first season.
Here, Michael stands up to Brian and says no, he cannot project Justin’s desires onto Michael. They are Justin’s, and if Brian wants to be with Justin, Brian has to decide what to do on his own. That’s what it means to be an adult. Justin, too, needs to think about what he wants.
Of course, it all comes to a head when Babylon--the safe haven--gets bombed and Michael almost dies. Brian rushes into Babylon to save Justin. Justin is the one who brings up that he can’t find Michael, and only then do we realize Michael’s been gravely wounded. Brian tries to donate blood to save Michael, but he’s not able to.
Through what happened to Michael, Brian finally gets the courage to tell Justin what he has never said in direct words to Michael: I love you. Out of fear of almost losing Michael, Brian then proposes to Justin, but neither of them are quiiite ready for that yet. However, I’ve talked extensively about Season 5 before, and how the ending is more to symbolize Brian and Justin being fully alive than anything else, and imo a happy ending for Brian and Justin was clearly implied to the point where it’s barely implied.
Yet again, we can look to Michael and his relationship with Brian as part of this implication. They may be on different paths at the time. Accepting this is also part of growing up--leaving your egocentric, childish beliefs behind. Yet still, the thumpa-thumpa continues, and they’ll continue to meet and celebrate life together with their other loved ones, too.
Michael: Some things aren’t meant to change.
I don’t think this line was ever about Brian’s hedonistic lifestyle necessarily, but instead about the core love that binds the relationships in the show--Justin and Brian’s included. Time won’t change their love. They will always love each other. Even if they part ways for a bit, they’ll always find their way back to each other. It’s been true for Brian and Michael, Michael and Ben, Blake and Ted, Emmett even dances with an old high school pal of his; it’ll be true for Justin and Brian as well.
Love might be a fantasy in some ways--it’s an ideal. The reality is that love is an awkward path to follow, full of potholes and debris and steep climbs. But the story of Queer as Folk suggests that love, no matter how hard it is, is the only way to grow and navigate the difficult reality of life.
Thereby, reality and fantasy aren’t actually two binaries. It was never about reality vs. fantasy, but instead about integrating reality and fantasy--because we all hope for a better life each day, despite the quagmire and disappointments and injustice of daily life. Through our friendships, romantic relationships, parental ones, we bring that divine magic into the world.