Me still writing qsmp fanfic? It's more likely than you think! Anyway, for the second anniversary of the happy pills arc, I wrote a little something!! (cw/tw: referenced drug use, cannibalism, panic attacks/flash backs, implied mental health issues)
Pac does not remember a lot of what happened in that prison, just the broad important stuff. His day to day is blurry. A whole year, mostly gone from his brain. He does not remember a lot, but what he does remember is Cell standing on the other side of the bars like Cellbit is doing now. Even without conscious memory, Pac's body still reacts to the view. His heart his racing. He can't breathe. This view is too familiar for safety.
Another memory that Pac inexplicably has is being handed a needle while bleeding out. He realizes now that it was adrenaline to keep his heart pumping for a just little bit longer. He remembers stabbing it in the side of his thigh with shaking hands. Cellbit is handing him a needle now. It is black and ominous. That's kinda his fault, isn't it? This is his fault. It's always his fault.
Cellbit crouches in front of the cage that traps Pac. His heart is going to beat out his chest. It hurts as it touches his ribcage. There's words coming from Cellbit, and Pac thinks they're meant to be soothing. Though, all he can focus on the teeth that tore him apart still in his mouth. "No, no, no, no, don't make me do this." His voice is barely above a whisper, hoarse and tearful. "Please. I can't do this."
"No, no, no, no, don't make me choose. Please. I'm sorry. Please." Pac's voice is pleading and tearful as Cell straddles his body.
Cellbit pauses. If Pac didn't know him better, he'd think that Cellbit was just trying to think of what he should say. Maybe he is, Pac doesn't know this version of him that well. "Pac, you can do it. I could help you." It is a kind gesture.
"Choose, queridinho, or I'll choose for you." Cell's voice is rough as he cuts off one of the legs of Pac's jumpsuit.
Pac does not know what answer he actually gave. His mouth moves before his brain fully decides. He feels dizzy. There's a lack of oxygen to his brain as his breaths are far too quick. Cellbit is sitting instead of crouching, just on the other side of the bars. "It'll be over soon, Pac. You just got to be brave a little longer."
"Left." The word leaves Pac's mouth before he even fully decides. His heart beats quickly when Cell's knife touches his skin. "Get comfortable, queridinho. I'm taking my time. You betrayed me." The scream in Pac's throat dies when sharpened teeth break skin.
There are multiple sets of eyes on him. They're waiting for him to tear apart his sweet false reality. His reality.
Pac thinks the other silhouette is an angel. It's the blood loss.
His hands are still shaking as he stabs the needle into the side of his thigh. Unfortunately, it is a familiar motion. It feels like he's doused in ice cold water all over again. It douses the artificial electrical heat of the pills. He doesn't scream. It hurts.
Pac does not scream as he feels his flesh being cut by a blade and pulled apart with sharp teeth. It hurts. He feels colder as this punishment goes on. He tries to struggle only for the bites to become harder.
Cellbit smiling, relived. "You did, Pac!" He sounds proud. He unlocks the cage to free Pac.
Cell is smiling, satisfied. "Good job, queridinho." He sounds smug.
Cellbit offers his hand, and when Pac takes it he pulled into a hug.
Cell stands, leaving Pac on the floor.
Pac leaves the Ordo building with Cellbit helping him.
Cell leaves the hidden crawl space. Pac is left to bleed.
