#questioning genderfluid

[questioning-culture-is]

Genderfluid questioning culture is just,, so much gender related confusion and stress ;-;

But also having fun exploring your gender and pronouns :]

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[raavenb2619]

So if I wish I was trans, there's a chance that I am? I have no idea if I'm cis, I'm afab but I sometimes just want people to refer to me as a boy and I wanna look like one. But like, there's also times I like being a girl and I don't know what to think about it. And I don't really feel, idk, "close" with identifying as a woman? A girl maaaybe but a woman? Hell no. I never really thought about my gender to be honest

[Follow up to this ask]

Wishing to be trans isn’t definite “proof” that someone’s trans (and not wishing to be trans isn’t definite “proof” that someone isn’t trans), but there are definitely lots of anecdotes of trans people wishing to be trans in some shape or form before realizing that they’re trans. 

If you’re having trouble determining if you really do feel like or want to be a girl, or if that’s just cisnormativity talking, you might find my #cisgender-experiences tag helpful. Also, if you sometimes feel like or want to be a boy, and sometimes feel like or want to be a girl, it’s possible that you’re genderfluid. 

Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions. 

[questioning-culture-is]

So uh hi, you may have noticed a pattern now but I’ve asked multiple times about genderfluidity as I’m currently using the label genderfluid but unlike many people who identify as such I go for much longer periods feeling masc/femme/etc… like weeks or even months and I wonder if I’m still valid as genderfluid that way? Im scared I might be misusing an identity and disrespecting people along the way

That still falls under genderfluid!! it doesn't matter how long you stay the same gender, if it changes after some time, you can identify as genderfluid.

@genderfluid-culture-is

-toni

[questioning-culture-is]

Gender questioning culture is realizing some people actually feel the same gender (emphasizes on feeling it strongly) and realizing you could be genderfluid or genderflux but not knowing how to feel the genders so you just use what you wear to determine different genders by feelings

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[questioning-culture-is]

Gender questioning culture is writing like an entire novel and then deleting it in the questioning-culture-is ask box bc despite being afab and mostly usually wanting to be feminine u also wanna be non binary and use other pronouns bc of a combination of inavoidable gender envy and wondering if maybe ur negative perception of urself has to do with ur gender, but u can't escape the feeling of thinking ur just faking since u for the most part wanna be like ur agab but also do not. Are u a demigirl? Genderfluid? Cis who doesn't understand what it means to be cis anymore? And then u also dont wanna mess up the life u have and ur relationship with ur family cuz god knows outside the internet nobody u know would take neopronouns seriously. And it was all simple when u were little and now this whole thing is feeding into your fear of growing up akfoepxojenfkosod??? And o no you think you just rewrote the novel I'm such a great example of gender questioning culture ah im sorry

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[questioning-culture-is]

questioning + plural culture is wondering if you're genderfluid but really just switching

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[raavenb2619]

okay, so i’m not really sure if this is where i should ask this but here we go: so i am ace/aro, but i’m also questioning if i’m genderfluid... i feel like my internal (idk how to describe it) gender moves from identifying as a female to not wanting to identify as any gender at all. would this count as being genderfluid or something of the sort? if i am genderfluid, do i ever have to come out? or can i like.... just keep it to myself? sorry, this is just a whole new thing for me and i have no one to talk to about it. :(

You can absolutely call yourself genderfluid. If you’re looking for a word for when you don’t feel like a girl, you might like “agender”, “gender neutral”, “neutrois”, and/or “genderless”. If you feel like the way your gender moves is kind of like a sliding scale of strength/intensity, where 100% strength means you feel like a girl, and 0% means you don’t feel like anything, you might find the term “genderflux” useful. If that’s the case, you can call yourself just genderflux, or genderflux and genderfluid, or fluidflux, or just genderfluid. 

Like with any other identity, you’re never obligated to come out to anyone, ever. Coming out is unique and deeply personal and always up to you, not just in when and how you come out, but also in if you come out at all. Realizing you’re not cis can be really scary, and often times when we’re scared, we want to hide in the closet. It’s a completely understandable instinct, and there’s no shame in being closeted; I hid in the closet for a long time before I was ready to come out. 

It might not seem like it right now, but things will get better; slowly, each day, you’ll become a little more comfortable knowing who you are, being who you are. One day, if you decide you’re ready to come out, you’ll have an entire community of people cheering you on, supporting you every step of the way. But we’re still here for you, even while you’re in the closet. If you feel comfortable, you can interact with the community online. But we’re still here for you, even if you’re not reaching out and interacting with us. No single one of us shares your exact set of circumstances, but we were all where you are, once. You’re not alone. We’re here for you. 

[raavenb2619]

Hi! I'm afab but I sometimes wish I looked like a dude, that I could wear dressed and still be a guy and I sometimes think that I'd want top surgery but also there are times when I feel like a girl and like my body and I'm just very confused. I think that I'm nb or sth but idk what to do about my body? I like it but also kinda hate it, I wish I could shapeshift. I just don't want to be "stuck" in one body, I'd like to be able to choose y'know? I have no idea what to do with that

It sounds like you might genderfluid and/or genderflux. (I can’t tell you what words to use, because that’s ultimately your decision, but you might (or might not) find those words helpful.) I can definitely relate to shapeshifting being more ideal than being constrained to a single physical form, especially when it comes to dysphoria and gender presentation. The way you want to present and express yourself might change over time (especially if your gender changes over time), which is okay; there isn’t a set path or “way” you have to be, which means that you get to make choices for yourself. One of the choices you get to make is, how much of your presentation is about you and what makes you most comfortable, and how much of it is about other people and influencing how other people see you? Again, there isn’t a right answer. If you feel masculine sometimes and want to wear dresses, even though dresses are often considered feminine clothing, that’s okay. 

Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions.