Thinking I should maybe start expressing myself more on here, cause I just have too many thoughts (my old blog name included “going crazy” for a reason)
So like, I’m *very* close to being fully confident in my reading of m11 being fundamentally non-romantic, with care and admiration (and just like, “you look nice” lol) being mistaken for actual romantic attraction, but I still have voices in my head challenging me.
I mean, I think it’s just the fact that we (unfortunately) live in a very heteronormative society, like I myself am queer, but I’ve been surrounded by mostly cis/het people my whole life, to the point where I’m still learning new things about myself because I didn’t have many examples of queerness growing up for me to relate to - so it’s like, because ST was created in *this* world, the heteronorm and comphet are hanging over it, and it’s very hard to feel like I have a right as a queer person to read it in my own way.
Anyway, I’m suffering from mental spirals, and basically the first season going round and round in my head. Which is irritating, because Byler is my special interest, and I would love to just enjoy it without constantly having thoughts triggered like, “but what does it MEAN? And who am I?”
Um. That’s about it.
