Mistle Command
Title: The One With the Mischief Chapter: [x][2] AU: Christmas, some mischievous prankster hung excessive amounts of mistletoe around Wolfram’s mansion. Now, during the Christmas party, no one is safe from the mistletoe ambushes. POV: Somewhat limited 3rd - constantly switching A/N: Some foreign languages don't have a proper google translate equal for 'butt' or 'behind.' It is not my fault. Also two titles because I made myself cry laughing over Mistle Command after Chuck vs. Tom Sawyer sO I'M NOT SORRY
_ No one knew who had done it. No one knew where it all came from. They only knew it was everywhere. There was no escape. Everywhere one looked, they saw green leaves tied together with drops of white peeking between the foliage, all together tied with colorful ribbons. No one could avoid it. Not when the offending plant hung from nearly every doorframe, every chandelier, and every out-of-the-way corner that most introverts frequented.
It was December 23rd - the date of the annual Christmas party in the house. The local high school had one too, but unless Zahra decided all the students should attend, the majority of the residents tried to avoid it. Here at the house, however, the parties were good, and everyone - including the younger and older kids - enjoyed themselves.
Streamers were strung across the room, blue and silver balloons floated all over, and peppy Christmas music blasted from the 12-foot speakers on either side of the room, courtesy of the red-haired Xido, who was always front and center, spinning the turntables.
Every mutant - and human - in the room was either dancing to the beat, chatting on the sides, or chowing down at the refreshment tables. 75% of said mutants-and-humans were consciously avoiding the dangling plants of doom. A good 20% didn’t care one iota, and the other 5% were actively searching for mistletoe targets.
_
“Come on, Rivvy! You have to dance with at least one of us!” Jay - or was it Wren? - called to the dark-haired ophidian; the one who was cautiously staying square in between mistletoe bunches on either side of her.
It was decidedly Jay, Riven assured herself after a brief moment of mental focus. He was always the one with the distinct flavor of edginess and hard core destructiveness. That was how she thought of it, anyway.
“No. Dancing is out of the question. With either one of you,” she intoned, eyeballing both of the citrus-headed bean poles with varying degrees of suspicion. She knew what usually came next, but the thought of dancing - in public, with people, especially Jay-and-Wren people - was not a pleasant one.
Wren sighed, shaking his head as if he were regretful about something. A quick diving expedition into his mind told Riven he was anything but. “Well, then, Riv, we’re sorry…”
There wasn’t even a moment of pause before Jay picked up on his thread of thought and the two spoke in terrifying unison: “You’ll have to pay the penalty.”
Riven shouldn’t have been surprised when they picked her up by either arm and physically carried her beneath the dreaded dangling greenery. “I hate that plant,” the seemingly-emotionless girl growled. Fangs poked out over her lips, digging into the bluish-pale skin.
“Aw, why’s that, Rivvy?” Jay crooned, pulling her closer as if to make it better.
Riven didn’t even turn to look at him, glaring holes into the wall as Wren himself sidled beside her with a devilish grin. “Because it’s a parasite - just like the two of you,” with that, she stuck out her tongue at the nearest citrus head, slitting her eyes. “Hmm, I wonder…” started one of the two, slowly working Riven into a corner situated underneath the mistletoe.
“What’s that, Wrenny?” Riven questioned, standing shoulders hunched.
“What would happen,” Jay continued, “if all three of us are standing underneath the mistletoe?”
Looking up, Riven spotted the sprig. “Kiss yourselves and let me leave,” came the unbridled response, a dry look on her face.
“I don’t think so,” the two smirked, leaning down close. With thin fingers wrapped around both wrists, Riven squirmed enough to show she was getting ready to bolt.
“The penalty,” they whispered, “is doubled, since you tried to get out of it. You have to kiss us both.”
“Will you let me alone, then?” Riven growled, flinty eyes glaring. Her face was flushed in something between anger and embarrassment.
The identical brothers exchanged amused glances before smiling like a pair of chipper cheshire cats. “Maybe,” they purred in unison, eyes slitted with devious intentions.
Saying nothing, their person of interest vaguely made a roundabout gesture as if she couldn’t bear to say: ‘ahhh, get on with it.’
Both boys leaned down at once, grinning with more than a little malevolence in their gaze, and paused on either side. “Which one first?” they asked impishly, eyes flashing.
A red-faced Riven firmly belted out: “I don’t give a pacova guza!!”
Grinning, the two pressed closer - until one of the two began to turn her chin towards him--
“Wow… I feel like I should be surprised that both of you are ganging up on Riven, but… somehow? I’m not,” came an exceedingly dry voice, matching Riven’s for monotone, but succeeding her in sheer sarcasm. “That seems a little unfair, huh?”
Two heads turned towards the new voice; Riven tried to squirm away unsuccessfully.
“Ah, Ruin, you’re looking lovely this evening,” greeted two identical voices, smiling cattishly at the newly-arrived female.
For the festivities of the evening, a group of mutants had worked together to take all of her casual, androgynous wardrobe, leaving her with only a sparkly dress. She’d been whisked away by Cassidy - along with a fair number of other cantankerous females - for hair and makeup. Instead of the short, ponytail-in-a-bun-covered-with-a-beanie, Ruin’s hair had been styled in loose curls framing her face. The result was someone who looked almost nothing like Ruin - aside from the permanently-impassively expression.
“Thanks, I usually do,” came the scathing reply, deflating a bit of the twins’ mojo. She shot her reptilian counterpart a wry smile, crossing her arms in front of her nearly-nonexistent chest. Riven gave her a look that said: ‘These guys, huh?’
Jay and Wren exchanged disgruntled looks, unhappy their game was interrupted. Seizing a newfound opportunity, however, Wren detached himself from his brother and Riven, sauntering over towards the shorter Ruin.
“If you wanted to join our games, Ru, you should’ve just said so,” he purred, snaking an arm around her bare shoulders as if to steer her towards the shady corner.
Ruin, eyes now tilted upwards into gray slits, became dead weight, refusing to budge. Wren kept his shiny-two-bit smile, despite his attempt at moving her failing. “I wasn’t going to.”
“Well, you don’t have to,” Wren breathed, leaning down. Riven stifled a snorting laugh, causing Jay to look on with the slightest hint of concern. Usually females were more willing to go along with their games. “You’ll get your turn, too, you don’t have to worry.”
Ruin raised an eyebrow slightly, as if amused by the excessive flirting. “I wasn’t.”
“You look it. I know you are,” he replied, half-teasing, half-trying to regain the control of the game.
“Yeah, actually she isn’t,” Riven contributed, a smirk that showed a single protruding ivory fang.
Jay leaned down whispering with a smile: “Don’t interrupt; this is interesting.” A confused Riven shrugged, like she almost agreed, and leaned back against the wall.
The two watched on as Ruin was replying to Wren in a sincerely bothered tone: “I’m actually more concerned over where the strawberry bonbons keep disappearing to. I can’t find any anywhere, and Sam just set out a plate of them.”
Ruin was interrupted when Shift and Switch flounced by, giggling to themselves. Oblivious to the tryst going on, they stopped beneath the mistletoe, barely taking the time to look up at it. With zero warning, Shift twirled Switch, lowering her in an elaborate dip. Ruin turned her eyes away, uncomfortable with their proximity, as they kissed - both giggling like school children. Which they were.
As they departed, Wren’s grin grew wider. Refocusing on their conversation, he sidled closer to the girl, causing Ruin’s own mock-anxious expression to diminish a bit. Without saying a word, he reached his right hand into the pocket of his dress pants and pulled out a handful of the bonbons in question. “Oh… You mean… these?” he asked in a voice lower than a murmur, his grin widening as Ruin’s fell.
Gray eyes narrowed again and glared up at Wren with the force of a contained tsunami. “You… are…” she dropped away, shaking her head almost imperceptibly.
“A butt,” supplied Riven, grinning. “He is a bu--” she was interrupted when Jay’s bony fingers wrapped over her face, stifling her comments. A murmured ‘shut up or else’ came from their corner and then silence once again.
Ruin, still somewhere in her food-induced anger, snatched at the candy, looking on the verge of pouncing into battle. “Gimme those, you citrusy son of a motherless goat!!” she growled, only to be held back by a skinny arm.
“Ah, ah, ah, Ruin... “ the source of her distress murmured, smiling the whole while. While holding the bonbons high above her head, he pointed above her head at yet another sprig of green. “It’s going to cost you.”
Scowling, the dusty-haired girl turned back to the food table as if to scope out the possibility of there being any more of her candy over there. She was met with disappointment.
“What’s the all-mighty penalty this time, Wren?” came the accusing question, still glaring up at Wren’s extended hand. She had a feeling she already knew, and it was making her annoyed and apprehensive.
Assuming an innocent look - one that Ruin thought made him more devious in appearance than angelic, he leaned closer. “Well, we’re standing under the mistletoe, Ru, what did you think it would be?” he maintained.
Still hesitating, Wren saw he was losing her in his game. Quickly adapting, he chose one of the strawberry treats and held it close enough to Ruin’s face that it would quickly overwhelm her olfactory senses. Her eyes screwed up a bit, but it was more from the sudden motion than the smell itself.
“Here, look, I’ll even give you one, free of charge,” offered Wren, smiling in his own attempt at ‘kind.’ Ruin, eyeballing him with slightly less suspicion, snatched it away before he could renege his offer.
Grinning almost to himself, Wren leaned down before either of them could change their mind - and while Ruin was focused solely on her newfound candy.
“Rui--!!” Riven’s warning squeam was interrupted by Jay.
“I told you to hush,” whispered Jay. By the time Ruin looked up after chomping down on the bonbon, Riven’s mouth was preoccupied with something else - and Jay’s along with her.
“Whoa, wai--” it was her moment’s hesitation that cinched up her fate. Wren swooped down in time to catch her mid sentence, catching her lips in a butterfly-soft kiss. Pulling away before she could finish mumbling her grievance, Ruin was left spluttering. “Wrendall, that was unfair! I wasn’t expecting it” protested the unawares Ruin. She didn’t, however, argue against the punishment itself.
Her complaint was met with a firm tsk-tsk-tsk. “Ah, ah, ah,” chastised a regretful-sounding Wren, “two more for arguing.”
Before she could blurt out any negation, Wren was back at face-level, doling out a brief smooch, grazing the skin and then dumped the remainder of strawberry candies in her hands.
He then proceeded to bound off with a smirk. “Bye, Ruin… I’ll find you later for the last one,” he called with a wink, smoothing his hair as he wandered off elsewhere.
By the time Ruin had recovered, still flushed slightly, eyes narrowed to the point where they might as well have been closed, she turned to growl a threat to Jay. Instead, she found the other couple just pulling apart.
“Great! Now I have to deal with his royal Wrenniness alone. Thanks, guys - boy, you’re a comfort,” she growsed, striding over to thump Jay in the chest none too gently. If she couldn’t whack Wren into the next century, she’d settle for pretending his twin was just as good.
Riven snorted, nothing changed from her normal taciturn appearance apart from her pink-tinged face and the fact her breath came a little faster. “I tried to warn you,” she offered, shrugging sympathetically. She could see Ruin’s discomfort, annoyance, frustration, and every other feeling that roiled around in her skull. It couldn’t have been pleasant.
“Whatever,” Ruin grumped, turning to tuck the strawberry bonbons in a pocket - a pocket that she’d specifically said had to be there for her to wear the dress. “Just shove a spike somewhere unpleasant next time you see him,” she mumbled.
In less than a second, a startled Jay yelped in surprise and pain. Turning back, Ruin could see a new bleeding scratch mark alongside his jaw. Riven, an ivory spike just sliding back between layers of skin, looked surprisingly innocent, eyes wider than ever.
“What?” she asked innoxiously, spreading her hands. “I thought I saw Wren?” The phrase came almost as a question, and her usually-scowl-graced face was slowly upturning into a smile.
Jay, abnormally growly, grabbed Riven - carefully - by the wrist and dragged her towards the dance floor, declaring: “If you’re gonna be mean, then you have to dance with me! It’s the rules!”
Chuckling to herself, Ruin shook her head. Between her family, Riven’s, and the Twins, it was shocking they hadn’t all killed themselves yet.
“Ah!!! Ru!! I’ve been looking for you everywhere, where the crud have you been??!” An unsurprised Ruin turned to see a redheaded, tux-clad, red-heely’s-wearing Yuu come loping over towards her, carrying two and a half plates of snacks.
“Relax, Yuu, I’m fine. Everything is fine. We’re all fine,” Ruin rattled off, hunching her shoulders and glaring at nothing.
Yuu, eyebrows raised, shrugged and shoved a plate and a cup full of eggnog into her hands. “Here, take this, I made you a plate but I couldn’t find any of your bon bons.”
While Ruin glared across the room where she could see a tall, lone redhead, Yuu continued: “Oh, and hey! Spade said that if we couldn’t find them that she would go to the store for us, and--”
Ruin tuned him out as Wren turned to catch her gaze. A devilish smile etched over his face, As she watched, he waggled his fingers in a wave and raised his other hand to blow a swift kiss. Irked, Ruin stuck her tongue out at him and pointedly turned away. As she did, she could’ve sworn he was smiling to himself.
“RUIN, YOU DOLT ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING ME?! I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU HERE!!” Yuu was shouting in her left ear, making her lips press into a thin line. When she turned to give him a warning look, he grinned sheepishly. “Oop-- G-Gomenasai,” he murmured, eyes dropping. An angered Ruin was something to avoid indeed.
“Alright, whatever,” she replied, staring across the room at nothing. “Let’s go sit down or something, I’m starving.”
Acquiescing, Yuu followed her to a nearby table - the kind that had been set up for anyone not interested in dancing. Unfortunately… the tables were not void of dangling green plants, either.
The friends were halfway through their plates when something fell to their table. Ruin, curious, picked it up. “Huh…” she mused, finding a white berry that was very out of place.
Yuu squinted at it, just as puzzled - until he looked up where it had come from. “AHH!! NOPE NOPE NOPE!” he yelped, nearly falling out of his chair.
Ruin looked up to see a section of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling with a purple ribbon tied around it. “Huh. Weird that they’d put it there,” stated the girl who was clearly more focused on food than on another offensive holliday plant.
“B-But R-Ruin!!! Wh-what about th-the???” Ruin looked up to see Yuu fairly shaking and pointing at it. He looked like he was going to shake himself to death.
Shrugging, Ruin put her fork down. “Yuuexander, if you’re cool with skipping it, so am I. It’s been a long day, and two kisses are enough for me,” she scowled, obviously in a bad temper.
Seeming to be relieved for now, Yuu sank back in his chair, rubbing his temples. He muttered several choice lines in Japanese that Ruin was glad she couldn’t understand. Within a few seconds of foreign swearing, Yuu went back to eating, though he would shoot Ruin a strange look every once in awhile.
They continued in peace until the table they were eating on disappeared. It didn’t vanish, or melt; it simply was there one moment, and then was crashing into the nearest wall within the next. Both Yuu and Ru stood at the same moment, on their feet and standing next to each other before they themselves got sent flying.
What they didn’t see was the cause - a very skittish, nervous Track had leapt clear across the room from a chandelier to their table, slamming it aside and landing on his back on the floor. Neither of the observers saw him, instead looking around for an external force.
A stormy Robin was stalking towards them, smoke swirling from both hands and eyes constantly becoming gold and then green, and then gold again.
Yuu and Ruin exchanged nervous glances.
“Where is he?!” Robin roared, his voice coarse with anger.
“Where’s who?” the cohorts asked in sync, Ruin squinting at him and Yuu staring wide-eyed in pure and utter confusion.
“Track!” the curly-haired boy demanded, sweeping his arm around the dance floor. “I was about to ask someone to dance, and he ruined it! He rammed into me and sent me falling, and I fell into the punch bowl!” Yes, indeed, he had, according to the red stain square in the center of his shirt.
“Okay,” Ruin started, voice monotone once again, “I don’t see him here, but if you’ll take a little advice, you’d stop being a jerk, because no one’s gonna dance with you, hotshot, if you don’t chill it.”
“Ruin, no,” Yuu hissed, tugging at her wrist.
He was met with a quiet: “Ruin, yes,” hissed right back at him.
Robin’s eyes fairly glowed, his mouth twisted in a sneer. “Says the crossdresser who beats up the humies at school every other week?”
“Darn straight,” Ruin retorted, jaw set. Her fists clenched unobtrusively at her sides and Yuu began to shake his head slightly. If angering Ruin was dangerous, insulting and/or offending her was positively suicidal.
Chest thrust out aggressively, Robin strode forward and poked Ruin in the shoulder: “Well, maybe you’re out of your league this time. And maybe the little girl should run home before she gets hurt,” he sneered, smiling as Ruin shifted her weight, interpreting it as her becoming uncomfortable. He also conveniently looking over the fact that the two of them were already home.
“Don’t touch me, Robin,” Ruin warned, her voice not the usual monotone, but a variant sing-songy tone. She knew the way this was going down, he’d start swinging punches soon. And with the way his fingers were sparking, that wouldn’t be a good place in a room filled with helium balloons.
Another grinning snarl came from Robin’s face. “And who’s gonna stop me, huh?”
Ruin glanced around the room in a millisecond, ears tuned for Sam’s bubbly, laughing voice. She didn’t hear him. Screw it, she swore to herself, adding a few choice Serbian words to her mantra. As if to steel herself, she slowly turned her head to one side, eliciting a series of sharp crack!s
“Oh, boy,” Yuu breathed, planting his face squarely in his palm.
Robin shot a wary glance at Yuu but apparently completely missed Ruin’s cautionary stance. “What’s wrong with him?”
Ruin smiled - causing even Robin to watch her a little warily - and shrugged: “Oh, nothing. He’s just allergic to violence, is all.”
“Violence? Why would he be--?” Robin was interrupted when Ruin’s foot whipped up and around to nail him right in the jaw. In the same movement, as if he’d had practice, Yuu backed up three paces, allowing Robin’s unconscious body fall to the ground with an almighty thwump.
Watching through slitted eyes, Yuu stared at Ruin in a mixture of resignation and disbelief. “You just had to knock him out.”
Still shaking her foot like it hurt, Ruin smiled - a rare, genuine one this time. “Aw, c’mon, Yuuseph! What’s the fun of a party without a bully to whack?” Then, to herself under her breath: “But, dang, son… His face is harder than steel!”
A snort came from her flame-haired friend’s general direction. “Your shoe’s missing.”
“Yeah, I know. Do you see it? I’m trying to make sure my foot isn’t broken,” came the snarky reply. Despite the teasing in her tone, Ruin was truly examining her foot and wincing like the blow had hurt.
Yuu came forward, grousing to himself about the fact that every time this happened, Ruin always got hurt, and he always had to find whatever she’d lost. This time, however, his quarry was located merely three feet from where it had been lost.
Still muttering to himself his disgruntled complaints, he dutifully brought back her shoe. Reaching her hand up to nab it, neither were prepared when the unthinkable happened.
A flurry of black-and-blue motion, and then Ruin was being bludgeoned in an enormous, feline, cat-hair-covered hug. A voice mewled a loud: “Thank you, Rrrrrru!”
What Track didn’t account for was the extra weight in tandem with her awkward angle. As Track leapt onto her right side, she stumbled forward - towards Yuu. Trying in vain to backpedal, Yuu only fell to the floor, already seeing what was going to happen.
“No! No, no, no, not again-!!!” Ruin’s alarmed cry was cut short when Yuu’s face got in the way of hers.
Track fell down, very, very, very puzzled when he saw two people - who he thought were best friends? - kissing. Hm. The human race was very strange to him, he thought. Without another glance, he detached himself from Ruin and began pacing the floor in search of Camron.
As soon as she could, Ruin untangled herself from the insanely red-faced boy, she brushed herself off. In all honesty, she was more frustrated and feeling sorry for Yuu than anything else.
When she extended a hand to help him up, she stopped when she realized his eyes were shut. That wasn’t normal… He should’ve been up screaming in Japanese about how terrible it was. “Yuu? You can get up now.” She was too concerned to even laugh at her own ‘you/yuu’ joke.
Reaching down to try to rouse him, Ruin shook so hard he flopped over on his face. “Yuu?”
It took her about 0.2 seconds to realize he’d passed out. Sighing with the force of a hurricane, Ruin shook her head. She looked towards the dance floor where no one was the wiser. Growling, she struggled to pick up the body and take it somewhere where it couldn’t be stepped on.
“So help me, if I throw out my back, I’m gonna knock you out again,” was the last thing she muttered before hauling him up and slowly making for a couch.