Oct 13, 2018
-alien-
a lil alien that has to wear oversized hoodies because his neck and arms are too long for everything else.
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Uzbekistan
seen from China
seen from Iraq
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Czechia
seen from India
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from Spain
seen from Greece
seen from Canada
seen from Greece
seen from Saudi Arabia
-alien-
a lil alien that has to wear oversized hoodies because his neck and arms are too long for everything else.
2026.
I am thinking about a lot of things, and one of them is whether to live and watch the world end, or end it now before the world does before my eyes.
The funny thing is, I just got accepted again into graduate school for the 2nd semester. I also plan to enroll in driving school this coming May and get my driver's license once and for all.
Then, what? idk
6:12
There was nothing to think of, nothing to feel. It was all the same, yesterday, the day before, even the coming days in the next coming months of the next coming years...or so she thought.
It was past midnight when they first met, with clouds high above and the moon shining unapologetically bright, each eye greeted with a smile. There was no doubt, no fear, nor worry. Everything felt calm and destined, like serendipity hugging them tightly, bringing them closer to each other unknowingly. But it was time for her to wake up because not everything you wish comes true, well not now, at least. So until then, she waits, and while she does, she prays. For everything you ask shall be received, and maybe, just maybe, it could be more than just a dream and more like real serendipity.
11:11
The skies were a dainty mixture of lavender and pink that acted as an immaculate background to the leaves of the trees’ silhouette.
It was 5:36 in the afternoon as she peered outside the green blinds of their laundry area, and in her real world the sky appeared gloomy, hinting a little flavor of melancholy if paired with lo-fi music played on earphones with the volume turned up to 50.
Exhaling the relief of previous months of grief, she stared at her laptop while letting her fingers type the words that come to mind. Thoughts of going back to work left her feeling exhausted even if Monday has not begun, though she had always considered this as an affirmation to leave the comfort zone she had grown accustomed to and take a breather from all the dismays she amassed over the last two years. If you were to ask her of having any subtle hints of regret, the answer would be no – she does not regret staying; in fact, she is a proud bean who has grown into someone she never saw coming or yet, thought of becoming.
Still, she must admit that the milk tea she bought tasted so terribly that she would not dare to commit the same mistake twice. Pity.
Bust it out
This journal entry may come in to parts tonight mainly because I need to get something put down before the clock runs out, but I am experiencing pretty severe writers block; which is odd considering I'm literally writing about my own life, whether its a recap of the day, or just scribbling down what is running through my mind.
Day at work? Not bad. I was running late this afternoon by a minute, but considering I got like four extra hours over the course of the week I'm not really sweating it. And thats just the time I spent on the student rosters so it doesn't include the extra time it took to finish the route because of road conditions, or the time spent having to call parents about their students.
There was a lot less incidents today as well which is always good. Yes, a lot of the busses were breaking down and we ran out of sub busses, but there were no accidents and no one went into the ditch which in my opinion is always a positive outcome. The roads weren't all that much better though so I think people were more or less just caught unprepared with JUST how bad the conditions were yesterday. Oh! This morning I actually got "stuck" trying to turn out onto the road. I put that in quotations because I was just sliding on ice on a small hill. But it still required the other drivers to back up and give me room so I could get a running start at it. I had tried to put down my drop chains and shift into a lower gear to help before that but to no avail.
Made burgers for dinner again last night. I know, its not the best dinner but I didn't feel like spending more money to buy something else, and I sure as hell didn't want to get dressed to go to the store. Also I woke up super late (I had fallen asleep after coming home, but more on that in a bit) and just didn't feel like doing anything extravagant. Dad seemed to enjoy them. I was sort of meh about it. They were good but I think I may be entering into another depression swing so the taste was just sort of bland.
So like I said I had fallen asleep after coming home from work. I'm not sure the exact cause of it but I have been utterly exhausted lately. At first I was afraid that I was getting sick, but without any symptoms showing I was getting suspicious. Then yesterday morning or this morning (time has been blurring together a little) when I went to work my mind drifted towards some really dark places relating to my childhood. It was strange because I had been in a relatively chipper mood lately. But piecing that together with my unexplained exhaustion and the fact that food has seemed really bland for a couple days I'm fairly certain whats going on. I'm still taking vitamins and trying to shift my perspective to see more of the good in life so we'll see how much it helps. I have hope that it won't be as bad as the last cycle which had gotten fairly bad.
That's where I'll wrap up this entry. I might write a second one here a bit later. It'll likely be after midnight but I'll still be counting it as a continuation of this one. I'll have to denote this as .1 and the other as .2 in order to keep track of things in my head. Otherwise I might mistake the second one (if I write one) as tomorrows entry and thats not what I want.
Journal Entry #23.1 23:06, Friday January 26 2018
Will
Quick Entry #3
Still waiting for the day I find the right group of people to be with.
Independent me.
So many different opportunities have come my way. Due to fear and some insecurities I gave into, I haven't lived my life to the fullest. Taking chances has always been my thing but as of lately I kind of don't care much for anything. Between work and figuring out plans for college , nothing sparks my interest anymore . As far as my relationships with people I keep them distant. Not because I have any trust issues or anything like that I just literally don't find anyone that interesting . No one intrigues my inner self . No one in so long has found that part of me to keep me coming back for more of the companionship they have to offer. Sometime I even think I'll forever be alone (no pun intended) . I'm satisfied with being alone and having acquaintances to be there just to keep me in the social realm of life. I've always been super independent. I've been called a loner for that reason. I'm not a loner at all. I actually wouldn't mind conversing with a complete stranger . I don't shy away from people I just rather be approach than be the one to approach . To be honest I've never completely broken out of my shell. Little by little the courageous people I encounter in my life have taken as many whacks at me as they can and I just won't budge. I've been told that if I brake out of my shell I could be something great. I agree. I'm not anti social , I'm not stuck up or self centered . I'm just used to doing things my way because no one else ever had to do things for me . I will accept help from others but when I can make do I will.
but since my crayons aren't here i'm pretty much not gonna do much for the night other than doodle and listen to my good ol' mellon collie LP