Look - I apologize for the things I have done, trying to express that I didn't want to be here. I have tried many times, both actually trying to end things and to take a chance on getting better. Right now, I am trying to get through the weekend, after already taking my meds impulsively. More meds will be on monday but the weekend is terrifying wait. I know I'll drink more because of this but, tomorrow I am going to try and switch to energy drinks, try and make a cycle. Doing that alone, sucks. And I got myself here. Having an ED, EUPDD, CPTSD, And other related interest around my period and my low cerebal palsy. And of course, alcohol use disorder. I'm working on as much of that as I can. While managing a proposed Autism disgnosis. Epilepsy diagnosis following a seizure. Having the alphabet crew isn't a thing I feel special about. I hate it. And I have to navigate all of this shir bouncing off of each other. So apologizies for the rant. I just hate that maybe on monday I will be able to feel more stable. When I can take meds that just stop my racing thoughts and then I can use that to make better decisions.
