Feb 28, 2025
Nya×Harumi Pretend AU by me korean copytiger Harumi fanart and sketch!
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Nya×Harumi Pretend AU by me korean copytiger Harumi fanart and sketch!
11/03
I spent most of the day with him playing GTA and eating nachos. In the afternoon I continued some uni work and I’ll have fish for dinner again before having a quiet Friday night in watching youtube videos or shameless or maybe I should catch up on PLL before they reveal who the twin is and the entire seasons is ruined for me!
It’s getting complicated with him again and I feel like a terrible person. He thinks that when I get back from my cruise (I leave next Sunday and am gone for 10 days) we are going to get back together. I just go along with it, agree that that’s what will happen and it makes me feel like the worst person alive (bad karma coming my way?). I just don’t know what to do or what to say. How do I break it to him that we can’t ever be together again when that is what he is expecting? The reason I just go along with it is for selfish reasons I suppose. I like being with him, being silly and being affectionate with him. I’ve been with him for a year now and I guess I’ve gotten used to it all. The way we are together, our comfortableness, our routine. The thought of having to start over with someone new kind of terrifies me. Some of the things he does, I just love so much and I’m worried that I will never been able to find some of the unique things he does in another person. Like last night for example, it was almost midnight. I went to the bathroom and got back and lightly tickled his feet before I got back into bed beside him. He didn’t respond so I thought that he must have fell asleep but once I climbed into bed he attacked me with tickles which they turned into something else. That might not seem like much to anyone else but to me in represents our relationship in a way. It’s just the little sayings, expressions, movements, gestures that I adore about him and that I would miss to much. On the flip side to that though, there are plenty of things that I wouldn’t miss about him.
Once again my mind is becoming a fury sea and my thoughts are starting to drown me.