#quoiluntary

[d0gbite]

what if i identity as something nonhuman and its kind of a choice but kind of not a choice. what then

[creatureheart]

silly question but how do you know if you have a theriotype or if you just want to be that animal and really like it? I feel like other people with this same theriotype have a much deeper, serious, involuntary experience than me. I still don’t feel as strongly connected to this animal. but I WANT to. I want it to be serious and involuntary. but I’m not sure if it is or how to? it doesn’t feel “real.”

No such thing as a silly question, Anon! Better to have asked and get an answer than to never ask at all!

As for how you can tell the difference between if you have a theriotype or if you just really like/want to be that animal…

There isn’t really any difference between the two!!!

As in identity is very much a spectrum of experiences, incredibly fluid, and there is no hard line anywhere on that spectrum where one stops and the other begins. Things like this are very much an individual thing where each person you talk to will probably have a different answer that depends on what they themselves have experienced with their own identity. Where they came to the conclusion that ‘hey, maybe I am this thing’.

So if the feeling of really wanting to be that thing is enough for you to identify as that thing, then that’s all that matters.

As I’ve seen be said by a lot of others in the community, and other identity based communities:

“Wanting to be the thing is usually the first sign of being the thing.”

As for the strong /need/ for it to be involuntary that you seem to have, I would take a step back, take a deep breath and realise that much like the above, there is no hard line between something being involuntary and voluntary. It once again is very much a spectrum, like all things, and this constant worry about if one is “involuntary enough” I feel actually can do more harm than good for those trying to figure out a personal identity, no matter what it is.

I would suggest taking a look at @aestherians essay, “Choice or Chance?: Exploring voluntarity and categorization in the otherkin and therian communities” which I will link in the replies. Can also listen to an audio reading of it on youtube, which I will also link.

There is also the term Quoiluntary, which is defined as: “To be unsure if, or to not care if, one's identity is involuntary or voluntary.”

——

Now, this is where we come to the seeing others with a seemingly stronger identity compared to what you experience.

I wanted to at least comment on this a bit because I am in the same boat as you about this.

My identity is very subtle compared to a lot of the others I see talking about their identities. I don’t get shifts besides the very rare envisage shifts or dream shifts. If I have any instinctual or behavioural changes I do not notice them. I do get species dysphoria at times but compared to others it’s again, very subtle.

But then again all of my identity stuff, even about my queerness, is subtle compared to a lot of people.

That said, how serious someone takes their identity, or how strong they feel it, isn’t an indicator of how real someone is in their identity. The most subtle of experiences is still just as real as anything else.

I am still my types even if I don’t get all the things that you see others talk about.

I am still my types even if I don’t spend hours on a post about it and how it affects me.

I am still my types if even the only thing I post is what I have seen called “puppy posting” where I just talk about how silly an animal I am!

Because in the end the only one a personal identity has to make sense to is the one experiencing it. Even if others find it off putting or a bit too much or a bit too little, YOU are the one that has the final say.

I also try to remember that the probable main reason there seems to be more strong experiences about being other in the community is simply because those that have something to talk about will talk about it. If you experience strong and regular shifts, as an example, you will have things to talk about with how it may feel and how it affected you.

So when you don’t have a lot to say because you don’t get such strong or regular experiences, then there isn’t really anything to post or share. But that doesn’t mean that those who have more subtle experiences are not as real as those who have strong ones.

I honestly think there is just as many alterhumans like what we experience as there is those with the stronger experiences. The only difference is they’re louder about it.

Hope this is at least somewhat helpful! 💜

[talon-dragonbeast]

*comes out of questioning hell covered in blood with a thousand yard stare* so uh. i think i am a unicorn.

^ specifically this thing (a medieval type unicorn)

i still dont know whether its a kintype or a copinglink, but ive realized i dont really need to figure it out now. its here, it makes me happy, and thats all that matters. tbh im still kinda upset that i have another 'type, but after thinking about it for a bit it makes sense. three has always been my lucky number, after all.

so! lets get into specifics. i havent drawn my form just yet (mainly because i cant draw unguligrades without heavy referencing to save my life lmao), but after a lot of thinking ive found that i can take two primary shapes: full unicorn, and satyr/faun. both are part of the same kintype: i dont know if its because im a shapeshifter creature, or because its my unicorn brain trying to adapt itself to a human shape.

[oh, and by the way, this 'type is completely psychological, the same as all my 'types. nothing new here]

i dont know much about my appearance. im a medieval unicorn, of course, with a deers body, long lions tail and goats cloven hooves. my legs are long and thin, and my head is shaped like a horse. i think i have a mane, but im not sure. i have a horn on my forehead, though its curved and not straight like in most depictions of unicorns. my eyes are clear (dont know the color yet), i have a beard in my unicorn form (not sure about the faun form though) and my ears are bigger than a horse's (i think they look a bit like deer ears). one particular detail i know for some reason is that i have a black spot on my upper lip. i might have more black details on my body (the tips of my ears maybe?), i dont know.

theres a lot i don't know about this kintype, and that frustrates me a bit ngl. i dont know anything about my diet, my habits, my habitat or my abilities. i dont know if i have powers, or why i can change my form. i have almost no instincts to speak of, and havent had any mental shifts yet. all i get are envisage shifts (sometimes even phantoms), little flashes of what i look like and feelings i cant put into words yet.

i know things will start to make sense in due time, but its hard to be patient. ill figure it out eventually, i know. i just have to wait.

[neeks-den]

might be closer to otherlink than kin. i know there's another word for it (quoiluntary) but link flows off the tongue better for me. its like right between kin n' hearted which is what im p sure i am. yay??

[alterhumanity-positivity]

It's okay if you don't know if your identity is involuntary or voluntary. It's okay if your identity is quoiluntary. Quoiluntary identities are as valid as involuntary and voluntary ones.

It's also okay if you don't care about the origins of your identity. You don't have to specify and/or know the origins if you don't want to.

[incoherent-squawking]

↟↟ welcome to my forest, i'm Hallow! ↟↟

(if there's a term here you don't know and it isn't linked, feel free to send me an ask)

⋆⁺₊⋆ college student (adult)

⋆⁺₊⋆ nonbinary (he/they/star) -> stargender, crowgender

⋆⁺₊⋆ aroace + bellusromantic

⋆⁺₊⋆ alterhuman + overhuman

⋆⁺₊⋆ this blog is in english. i also know some french, some american sign language, and some spanish!

⋆⁺₊⋆ in this blog you will find primarily posts and reblogs relating to aromanticism, alterhumanity, and my various interests!

↟↟ interests↟↟

⋆⁺₊⋆ in stars and time

⋆⁺₊⋆ wings of fire

⋆⁺₊⋆ just roll with it (specifically apotheosis + upp)

⋆⁺₊⋆ project hail mary

⋆⁺₊⋆ hermitcraft and the life series

⋆⁺₊⋆ andrew joseph white novels

⋆⁺₊⋆ online subcultures

⋆⁺₊⋆ linguistics + conlangs

⋆⁺₊⋆ animation

⋆⁺₊⋆ i'm also a furry, though i don't post my own art or characters on this account!

↟↟ alterhumanity↟↟

⋆⁺₊⋆ domestic tortoiseshell cat cambitherian

⋆⁺₊⋆ coastal redwood phytanthrope -> redwood sorrel paratype

⋆⁺₊⋆ dragon cambitherian

⋆⁺₊⋆ avianthrope cambikin

⋆⁺₊⋆ bird ambihearted

⋆⁺₊⋆ siffrin fictionflicker / otherlink (sideblog for it @mumbling-to-stars)

⋆⁺₊⋆ world machine fictionhearted (also on sideblog)

⋆⁺₊⋆ quoiluntary*

⋆⁺₊⋆ i dabble in daemonism, her name is Dae (creative i know) and usually takes the form of a binturong. Her CIEday was around late 2021

(read more about my experiences!)

↟↟ general blog business↟↟

⋆⁺₊⋆ i don't have a tagging system besides #best friend, which i use for posts related to @fisheatingorca !

⋆⁺₊⋆ i also don't have a DNI, but know that i don't engage in validity debates or general hate, and i will block you if you are being weird!

*quoiluntary means an identity that doesn't clearly fit into voluntary/involuntary.

[a-random-foxperson]

How my android fox identity came to be

I first made my fursona as basically "me but android fox", which already put relatively small "distance" between it and me. This gave the process that followed a pretty good starting point, though that was not my intention, it could not have been. Back then i was not aware of alterhumanity or any of the identities under its umbrella.

I started presenting as my fursona online, used it as a pfp, used the same name for both me and it, shortly after started referring to myself as a fox. It started out as sort of a mask i wear online, but being seen as that started feeling right and it gradually felt less like a mask and more like me. By being referred to as a (android) fox (i was a bit inconsistent with including the android part, still am to a lesser degree), my brain got used to associating the concept of fox with myself more directly. At some point , i started to referring to pictures of my fursona as pictures of me, it felt like a logical next step and further reinforced the mental association. A sort of fake it til you make it thing.

At the same time, i also started to imagine myself as my fursona. First as a series of thought experiments. How would fur feel instead of my skin? How would my ears move? How would it feel to have a tail? I got to a point where it felt like those things were actually there in a way. I basically induced a sort of phantom shift, though knowing that terminology came later. Another thing was just imagining in my minds eye how it would look being in the same i was, doing the same things i did.

One might notice that this all focuses on the fox aspect, and indeed, this was what i was focused on back then, the robot bits lagged behind a bit in this process, though they too got there eventually. That is not to say i considered myself an organic fox for a time, more that the android part was comparatively less important. Being mostly organic-passing (think as close to organic anthro fox as Mr. Data to human) contributed to that i think.

In both of the above mentioned ways i mentally applied fox aspects to myself and over time i absorbed those aspects into my sense of self. The ideas of "myself" and "my fursona" merged to become what i am today. This process was mostly complete by the time i discovered the alterhuman community. I questioned being otherkin for a while, but the identity being created like this didn't seem to fit. In the end i arrived at otherlink. That label presumes more intention about forming the identity, but it is the closest among the big labels, and adding quoiluntary to it communicates this being a bit complicated enough, i think (among other things why i find this addition useful).

@aestherians This is the post i was talking about working on earlier today about how my unintentional linktype formed.

[liondrakes]

Involuntariness, Voluntariness, and the Stigmas In Between

by Sivaan of Candlekeep

The following writings were cross-posted from Dreamwidth. I’ve formatted my writings to better suit Tumblr. The original is still available on Dreamwidth; my journal is linked in my pinned.

This journal entry will have a looser structure than usual since it’s coming from a place of frustration. I’m not venting, though. These are criticisms on what I’ve noticed lately.

In terms of how my identities developed, I prefer the term quoiluntary. I have this preference for two reasons: 1. I experience all manners of origin, so the context varies from species to species and 2. I don’t give a fuck either way. I only emphasize on origin when I’m coming from a place of pride. Otherwise, I don’t care to differentiate myself from those whose experiences aren’t like mine.

Make no mistake, I can understand why someone would feel like they should emphasize on their involuntariness. I used to be the same way. Even now, I recognize the significance of the identities I have that I didn’t choose. I am innately this character, this beast, this concept, you name it. It’s laid dormant inside me for so long, and now I’m finally free. I absolutely see why that is something to be proud of.

At the same time, that’s not the only reason why folks talk about involuntariness in comparison to other experiences. Sadly, whether folks are conscious of it or not, it feels like involuntariness and voluntariness are still played against each other in this community.

No amount of validity posts has changed the fact that folks still engage with their peers, or at least what they hear about said peers, as if they’re KFF-adjacent or “wrong” about how they feel. It’s like folks don’t bother in understanding other experiences unless it’s within their threshold of comfort, let alone respect them as equals.

What’s the point in acting as if involuntariness is the only experience that’s inherently profound?

What’s the point in saying “Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with voluntary identity!” and proceeding to go “Well, actually…!” when met with anything that isn’t otherlinking?

Speaking as someone who does link identities, I hate the assumption that chosen/voluntary identity is inherently “less serious” and not as important as other experiences. Nine times outta ten, folks are going off of what they see from young members. Still, they are children. If you expect them to not be the least bit light-hearted, then I’m not sure what else you expected. Some of them may be misinformed. Some of them may be simply expressing themselves. Either way, using one demographic to mold your perception of an entire group doesn’t show much solidarity towards us at all. You can’t blame kids for everything. I said so on my blog: there’s such a thing as being narrow-minded about experiences that you don’t personally have (for those who apply).

What folks may not know is that there’s a lot of empowerment in actively choosing to be something, let alone something outside of the “norm” of a vastly anthropocentric world. It may seem like frivolously picking up something and not caring for it in the grand scheme of things, but that’s also a very limited understanding of other people’s experiences within our community. I too advocate for more personal introspection, but truthfully, it’s nobody’s business whether or not our peers engage with their own identity like a Greek philosopher, seated upon the steps of the Agora in deep thought. Some people are what they are, choice or no choice.

Furthermore, I hate how the act of otherlinking is treated as the “valid” way to choose an identity. It’s not said out loud, but the takes surrounding chosen identity certainly make it feel that way.

I understand that there’s plenty of new members who don’t know most communal lingo. Some of them aren’t going to know that there’s terminology relating to voluntary identities and may hook onto what they do know. It’s one thing to educate them on these terms. That’s great! Introduce them to sides of our community that they aren’t familiar with! You never know when it may help someone in their journey along the way.

It’s something else entirely to a.) assume someone is misinformed and doesn’t know their own identity, b.) assume someone is spreading misinformation for simply labeling their identity as chosen, and/or c.) make unnecessary comments about how they’re not “really” or “technically” the label they identify as but you accept it anyway. Unless someone plainly states they’re an otherlinker, folks respond with skepticism and doubt. It doesn’t even need to be a named person or their account. Just the idea of it ruffles feathers.

I’m going to make something very clear: I don’t speak for all otherlinkers as I air out my thoughts. This is solely my standing on the issue.

With that out of the way, I must say I’m very disappointed that some folks still hold these sorts of mindsets towards chosen identities. I am not any more “serious” or “valid” of a nonhuman for linking than an individual who chose to be someone or something without having to build upon it. Someone doesn’t overcomplicate or muddy down the meaning of anything by simply choosing their identity. The implication of such is disrespectful in my opinion.

Who is to say that their choice(s) didn’t have any significance of their own?

Someone could come across a character or species that reminds them of themself so much, they simply decide that they are that character or species. They don’t need to build upon anything. What if they just know and make that choice based on knowing?

Someone could love something so much to the point of wanting to be the very thing they admire. Some folks may not need to build upon that identity if they already love it so much that this love shaped who they are.

What folks forget is that otherlinking isn’t just a label. It is an act. You actively link something. You build upon that relationship to the point of identification. I’ve had this happen for a former link, which is now my Dwemer constel. I still take pride in the factor of choice because I don’t often choose what I get to be. The act of doing so is quite freeing. It’s a similar kind of freedom I feel when I unearth an intrinsic identity. They are processed differently, yes, but both are equally a part of me. No involuntary or quoiluntary constel outweighs a voluntary constel in terms of significance.

Moreover, the act of otherlinking takes consistency. I can’t leave it at just saying “I chose to be (x)” like how most folks assume. When an identity is still in the process of becoming my own, it stays in the link phase. Personally, things I experience with vague or involuntary identities are usually a sign of my link making progress. For example, managing to phantom shift into one of my links is a sign of huge progress for me. This morning, this happened with my Verza link. I’m still a Verza right now, and it makes me excited that I’ve gotten closer to being this species. Some past links, like my Splatoon-based link and my Wickerbeast link, eroded away. This happens all the time with links. Some stay and become a part of me. Some are shed and that’s that.

When someone calls themself a chosen therian or chosen nonhuman, they likely didn’t need to do what I do. They chose something. They became that thing. That’s it. That is not the same as the conscious act of otherlinking.

I’m all for educating new members, especially young ones, on our community’s terms, but I’m also thoroughly annoyed with how these would-be “educators” conflate experiences. I wish people would look beyond their noses and understand that just because both experiences involve voluntariness, that doesn’t mean they are interchangeable. It looks less like trying to help someone find a label that may suit them, and more like trying to nudge them into that spot out of your own comfort.

They don’t fit the standard of this label that’s had a word-of-mouth definition for so long, so it’s perfectly fine to cast doubt if they’re “really” that identity or not. Right? (This is sarcasm).

The defensiveness is justified when it’s actually applicable. Therian is one such example. The therian label is heavily guarded due to actual misinformation spreading around it, plus its overall spread throughout social media. It’s understandable why folks want to preserve the label, its meaning and its history so badly. It’s needed when folks claim that therianthropy isn’t identifying as an animal. To call oneself a therian when you aren’t an animal defeats the whole point of using the label. Defensiveness is justified in this context.

However, it’s not needed in context to involuntariness and voluntariness. In my opinion, it’s similar to how the “earthen” part of the definition was never needed. It was wedged in there for fuck all reason.

When it comes down to it, a therian is an individual who identifies as a nonhuman animal. If anyone can explain to me in great detail what makes someone who chose to be a fox different from someone who’s involuntarily a fox, that’d be wonderful. Bonus points if you do so without dumbing down the experiences of the former. Besides their personal backgrounds, I guarantee you that little difference will be found between the two.

They’re both therians. Neither is any more or any less of an animal than the other.

Folks of involuntary experiences also post in silly, lighthearted ways just as some of their voluntary peers do. Those of voluntary experiences also discuss their introspections and what it’s like to choose ourselves. If you’ve made it this far, congratulations. You’re reading from someone who’s been doing that for almost a year now.

What I don’t understand is this is: when you become a part of a community, you’re always going to find folks whose perspectives are different than yours. Folks pour a lot of attention into finding like-minded individuals. That in of itself is to be expected and isn’t an issue. The issue arises when, in the midst of said search or in communal discussions, experiences that deviate from communal “norms” are put into question for no sensible reason. Folks suddenly forget that yes, these experiences are possible and yes, there are members amongst us who identify that way. Worst of all, folks still entertain the question of “valid or not valid?” as if their input on someone else’s identity isn’t invasive.

Pray tell, what do these discussions achieve?

What do we as a community benefit from these speculations if folks continue to downplay these experiences?

From where I stand, it looks like folks still want their peers to perform their identities for them. Is the issue that pressing that you need assurance of their experiences being 100% real, 100% serious, and 100% “valid” enough for you to consider them a part of this community? Is this what we’re hung up on?

On one hand, I get that otherlinker and its associated labels (funlinker, copinglinker, etc.) came about as an answer to those who claimed they chose their kintypes or theriotypes when these discourses were still hot.

On the other hand, it is 2025. The stigmas behind chosen identity have got to go. I’m not saying the concern around trolls and other anti-kin/therian groups isn’t understandable, but that same concern has also led to no nuance being added to these conversations.

Nobody is actually asking for the opinions and perspectives of those who choose their identities.

Nobody is actually looking into how we experience things.

All we get is more and more strangers speaking on us like we aren’t a part of communal discussions and can’t see what they have to say about us.

My answer so far is just being more vocal about my quoiluntariness. I’m not only discussing the identities that are involuntary, but the ones that are chosen and the ones that I honestly couldn’t care less where they came from. “Be the change you want to see,” and all that, y’know?

These frameworks are a spectrum. There’s always going to be folks who lean exclusively on one side or the other, but there’s also those of us who slide all across the spectrum. There’s also those of us who don’t care either way, and that’s arguably even better. The importance of these frameworks isn’t universal. Even when folks recognize why that may be the case for their peers, their positions show otherwise.

I’m so tired of the belief that involuntariness as an experience is so much more unique and significant, therefore someone couldn’t possibly experience that kind of significance with a chosen identity. It sounds pretentious and inconsiderate even when folks aren’t trying to be that way. All things considered, this community is in desperate need of more nuanced perspectives.

That’s all I have to say for now. Thanks for reading as always.