#ra tw

[ramcoa-systems]

What are RAMCOA systems? How do they differ from DID and OSDD systems? Do they have anything in common with other systems?

RAMCOA systems are DID/OSDD systems, their formation is just based in this form of abuse or has been affected by this abuse, and there may be more unique elements to their system as a result.

The idea of a 'ramcoa system' isn't a recognised term I don't think, we just use it to say 'systems that have experienced ramcoa'

In terms of differing from DID/OSDD systems that haven't experienced ramcoa, some may not differ at all, others will differ greatly

It's more common for ramcoa systems to:

be polyfragmented

have shell alters or aspects of the system that are 'shells', they are described as acting like a 'mask' that hides the system

have gatekeepers or other roles made to organise a system or its memories

have alters based on or containing numbers, colors, or other organizational systems

have introjects of perpetrators that may or may not continue abusive behaviors in-system

More clear differences may include: (major tw for specific ramcoa experiences)

an organized headspace that usually acts to reinforce programming or a message, may or may not be designed by the perpetrator

designed hierarchies in-system, may be reinforced by the inner world's structure, and they typically reflect a belief of the perpetrator

a variety of programs, can include anything from programmed reactions, to access programs, to behavioural programs

[clever-and-unique-name]

hey, do you have any info on polyfragmented systems?

Nothing about them specifically, sorry! I'm very wary of sources claiming to be for/about polyfragmentation due to its connection with RAMCOA; I'm not personally familiar with that realm of things so I don't feel comfortable recommending material about it.

[chronicallyblogged]

My old therapist has been urging me to read some books on ritual abuse but I haven't done it yet. Bc like I just didn't see how I was ritually abused. I didn't say that to her. But I just didn't see it. I also am very against discussing any of this with new therapist. Whenever I try to approach it or if I mention anything about my family being cult like it feels like someone has dumped hot water down the side of my head and body. It stings. So I'm avoiding it and thankfully my new therapist wants to focus out relationship on consent since she feels like I've had that violated a lot. But to see what my old therapist was going on about I looked up ritual abuse and :) just :))))) maybe it did happen. I might try reading a book on it after all if it'll help. I do have a paper back which is easier for me than an e book

[paradoxesofgalaxies]

Therapy recap below the cut. TW for discussions of various traumas

We covered a lot in therapy today.

So five minutes before my appointment we got a call from our partner telling us he was being sent home from work due to possible exposure. So all my mental prep got a bit scrambled.

We started by talking about our newest injury and then talked about our week a little. I told her it's been a very spacy week. Not necessarily bad, just very out of it and feeling like things aren't real.

Then we talked about a difficulty Bean had had with our partner system over the weekend which lead into explaining that our partner is, well, a system.

She had a lot of questions about that and about how our systems interact. We discussed all that for awhile. At some point I mentioned an incident this weekend when we were at the store in which we encountered someone who looked just like our most recent abuser.

Then she said that we've talked a fair bit about the Manor, but she wanted to know more about what childhood trauma I was aware of and able to talk about (I had mentioned that I've been having more instances of having thoughts plucked out of my head)

So I ended up giving her a rundown of everything I am aware of from birth on.

It was interesting because as I tried to go through chronologically, I kept having to go back and tell a different vein of history that was happening concurrently. Like separate plot lines in a show. I struggled to try to interweave them.

When talking about some high school stuff, I was explaining the "mood swings" we would have that were treated as atypical bipolar but never responded to treatment. And, looking back, there was a strange disconnect between the mood states. Like when going from very depressed to totally fine all of a sudden, depressed "me" felt like another person and writing done in those states felt like reading a stranger's words.

As I try to remember all we talked about, it's rather blurry, so this may be disjointed.

We talked a fair bit about church stuff and the way that intertwined. The ways I was taught to live separate from the world and fear those outside the church. Constantly told of the dangers I would face around every turn.

Then she started asking about any rituals we may have been involved in. I talked about a few different things that I could remember and then she started talking some about ritual abuse.

Buuuut... that's when our partner interrupted to tell us that it was a false alarm and he was heading back to work. He stopped to say hi to our therapist who asked to see him.

That was also just about the hour mark so we wrapped things up there

But yeah, it was a lot.

It continues to be so validating to hear her refer to the church as a cult. It's a term we long felt applies to our experiences but felt it wasn't ~bad enough~ to use that term.

There's probably more that I'm forgetting, but I'll wrap up here

[ramcoa-systems]

I have DID, and went through ra/oa, and some parts of the system show signs we've only really heard mc/programming survivors would show, but as far as I know we weren't programmed whatsoever. Is this normal?

This is completely normal, you don't have to have experienced noticeable levels of programming, or any proper programming at all to have these signs!

For starters, in even being in an RA/OA environment can result in subconscious mental conditioning even if the perpetrators aren't necessarily aiming for that. Little things like having to wake up at the same time every morning, or having set things to say can count as mental conditioning and can present in the system as a result

The mind also conditions itself at times, even when you're not being told to do a specific thing, fear and basic responses can cause you to develop a certain reaction to things or a form of 'self-programmed response'

There are all sorts of ways that a survivor of RA/OA can share experiences with a survivor of MC/programming

[ramcoa-systems]

is there a specific amount of time needed for programming to be done? and can it degrade over years?

Absolutely not, programming will affect each person differently and it also depends on things like the type of programming, how much the perpetrator knows about it, how many times they've tried, how willing to comply the victim is, things like that

I wouldn't say it 'degrades' but you can definitely work through it alongside a professional. We still have programs that we've had for over a decade, it takes a lot of time to break them down and sometimes you have to decide which programs are more important to work through first

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

that article just scratch surface btw there More Stuff but it get into satanic ritual abuse n that always get you to false memory syndrome foundation n simply not feel qualify NOR WANT TO explain that whole thing n also ppl not really behave w this topic & think RA survivors been through enough bullshit already

[lost-amongst-the-stars]

More journal project stuff

Feeling pretty rattled after finding not just references to RA several years ago, but also our therapist at the time agreeing that that is likely part of our history but it wasn't safe to go down that path at the time.

Tripped multiple internal alarms. Lots of pressure from inside to look away, stop, don't come closer