Hi! So, I have a serious problem. My moirail and me had a huge arguement after school and I said something that I shouldn't have said and now she's SUPER pissed at me. I've tried to apologize (twice) but she's not answering me... The worst part is, I'm starting to insult myself again, which can really get bad (stupid, bitch, whore, etc.), and she normally helps me out of this. What do I do?
RK: SOUNDS LIKE YOU WON'T BE SLEEPING IN THE SAME PILE TONIGHT, KIDDO. BUT I PROMISE IT ISN'T THE END OF THE UNIVERSE, I KNOW WHAT ONE OF THOSE LOOKS LIKE AND THIS IS YOUR GARDEN VARIETY I-SHOVED-MY-LEATHER, SOLED SHOE CONTAINER-DOWN MY THROAT SCENARIO.
ALRIGHT, SO IF YOU THINK YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE, AND YOU WANT TO, YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK. TRY NOT TO PANIC, THIS WON'T RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AS LONG AS YOU DO THE SOLVE THE PROBLEM. WANTING TO DO IT IS THE FIRST STEP.
YOUR FRIEND PROBABLY JUST NEEDS TIME TO BE ANGRY AND UPSET ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID. EVERYBODY NEEDS THAT TIME. SHE PROBABLY WANTS YOU TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID AND HOW MUCH IT HURT HER. YOU'VE ALREADY REALIZED WHAT YOU DID WRONG, SO DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT. JUST GIVE HER THE TIME SHE NEEDS, IT MIGHT BE A DAY, OR A FEW DAYS, BUT JUST DISTANCE YOURSELF FOR A LITTLE WHILE AND GIVE EACHOTHER ROOM TO BREATHE.
DON'T SEND ANYMORE MESSAGES, SHE ALREADY KNOWS YOU'RE SORRY BY NOW AND IT MIGHT COME OFF AS HARASSMENT AND STRESS HER OUT MORE, JUST TRY TO MAINTAIN A COOL HEAD ABOUT THIS. TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM, AND IT WILL GET SOLVED IN DUE TIME. YOU GOTTA HAVE SOME CONFIDENCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR THE RELATIONSHIP ISN'T WORTH SIXTY NINE SQUIRTS OF PISS. EVERY RELATIONSHIP HAS FIGHTS, AND THE PALE QUADRANT DEFINITELY ISN'T THE KINDEST.
IF SHE MESSAGED YOU FIRST, ASK HER IF THE TWO OF YOU CAN TALK.
IF SHE STILL HASN'T MESSAGED YOU BACK BY THEN, TRY MESSAGING HER AGAIN. JUST LET HER KNOW THAT YOU CARE ABOUT HER AND WANT TO TALK.
DON'T KEEP APOLOGIZING. IT CHEAPENS THE APOLOGY. WHEN YOU DO ACTUALLY DO A FORMAL APOLOGY, WHERE YOU EXPLAIN WHY YOU SAID WHAT YOU SAID AND THAT YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT, TRY TO DO IT OVER THE PHONE OR IN PERSON IF YOU CAN. OR WRITE KIND OF A LETTER, AND DOUBLE CHECK IT TO MAKE SURE YOUR LANGUAGE ISN'T TOO SELF PITYING OR BLAME-Y. YOU DON'T WANT TO BLAME ANYONE, NOT HER AND NOT EVEN YOURSELF!
IT WAS AN ARGUMENT, NOT A THIRD DEGREE MURDER. JUST EXPRESS WHAT NEEDS TO BE EXPRESSED WITHOUT MAKING IT MORE NEGATIVE THAN IT NEEDS TO BE.
ALSO, STOP CALLING YOURSELF A STUPIDBITCHWHORE AND WHATEVER ELSE. YOU AREN'T, YOU ARE JUST UPSET THAT YOU HURT YOUR FRIEND BY ACCIDENT.
YOUR PALEMATE WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO BE USING THIS FIGHT AS AN EXCUSE TO HURT YOURSELF. WHEN PEOPLE ARE DEPRESSED, THEIR MIND USES ANY OPPORTUNITY TO TWIST SCENARIOS AROUND SO THEY SEEM MUCH WORSE THAN THEY ARE. DON'T LET YOURSELF FALL INTO THAT TRAP. THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE IN LIFE THAT WILL BE SHITTY TO YOU, TRY NOT TO BE SHITTY TO YOURSELF AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.
A PALE RELATIONSHIP SHOULD ALWAYS BE SOMETHING THE TWO PARTIES BENEFIT FROM.
AFTER YOU'VE MADE UP, MAKE SURE TO TALK WITH HER ABOUT HOW YOU'VE BEEN FEELING, BUT ONCE AGAIN DON'T BLAME HER FOR IT.
I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT, BECAUSE NOT SLEEPING IN THE SAME PILE SUCKS.
-RK OUT.