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Rain , Clouds - Alice Brasser , 2021.
Dutch, b. 1965 -
Pastel on paper, 60 x 48 cm.
『歩行者用信号、曇り空』
20250906
Whispering Raindrops - Jeno Lee
Y/N got off the vehicle after a long day at work, their eyes instantly looking up at the sky. It was pouring lightly that day, as it had been in the past few days – it was the rainy season after all – that’s why they brought an umbrella with them today.
Still, they figured their house was close enough. They’d just have to walk a few meters and it won’t even take a minute, so, Y/N kept the umbrella closed at their side, briskly walking into the rain with their eyes squinted to prevent water from invading them.
For a bit, splashing was heard as their shoes ran through the wet ground, only stopping when they reach the door of a small house enveloped in nature, their house with their fiancé.
“Jeno, I’m home-“ Y/N calls out a bit with a faint chuckle to themselves, looking around at the dark house, the season really made the surrounding area so gloomy and bleak and it’s been affecting them along with it.
They start to take off their coat, scrunching their nose when they realize how wet it is and putting it away. It looked rather unappealing with big blobs of dark spots where the rain had hit them on the way to their place, they noted that they’d need to clean in properly later, after all, it was a gift Jeno had given them on their birthday a few years ago.
Y/N couldn’t help but smile at the memory as they let their body fall on the sofa nearby.
It was the year they moved in the house together. They had been fresh graduates from their colleges some years prior and had been working their asses off to support themselves financially.
To their surprise, their work had borne more money than they thought it would and they were soon excitedly discussing all they could do about their finances together.
The dates they couldn’t go on back when they were broke college kids were now coming to life.
They went to a couple zoos, went to see the sunset on a Ferry and even to various art museums where they bathed under the lights of the holograms displaying the seven wonders of the world on the museum’s walls.
Though, they’d have to admit their favorite date was their first.
They didn’t even know each other back then. Y/N just saved some cash from their budget in the last couple weeks and was craving a little exploration around the area.
They initially wanted to head to the carnival to ride the Ferris wheel and play some games but it started to rain and they had to close down for the day.
Coincidentally, they didn’t bring an umbrella that day since they didn’t expect it to rain. Y/N didn’t want to use the remainder of their college budget on transport home – what was the saving up for if they’ll just use it for something so normal?
With a huff of annoyance, the student ducked under the canopy of a random building, shivering a little from the rain soaking their skin. That’s when a small ‘meow’ caught their attention.
Looking down, Y/N noticed a pair of eyes staring at them from inside the building, a curious cat looked up at them and pawed at the window at some of the falling rain droplets. Above the cat lay the sign that said ‘Kitty Café’. Maybe this is what their money would be good for.
Y/N quickly went in and ordered a hot drink to warm themselves up after waiting by the rain so long. With their order in hand, they sat down on one of the floor pillows, staring at the cats around them.
One grey and white cat stared back but none of them approached the young adult and that made them give a visible pout.
“You’re still very wet-“ came a soft whisper, nearly inaudible under the drumming of the rain in the background.
“What?” “You’re dripping water around you, I don’t think the cats appreciate that,” the man elaborates softly, giving a smile that turned his eyes into small crescents and scrunching up his nose a little. He looked sheepish but that was part of what made Y/N giggle and turn to him.
The main thing that caught their eye about him was how much cats surrounded him. There was one nuzzling up to his neck from his shoulder, a couple were sitting against his side – one had their head against his arm – and a few others had squished together to sit on his lap and lay there sleeping.
“Seems like they love you though-“ they point out with a small laugh, motioning to the one he is patting, a contented purr emitting from the fluffy, cream-colored feline.
“Ah- it’s flattering but I’m not familiar with cats-“ his words are cut off when the cat on his shoulder stretches, his eyes widening at the action and his body stiffening and letting out a small squeak unsurely.
With a small laugh, Y/N tilts their head, their wet hair lazily plopping to the side, “I’m Y/N… and you know I’d wanna change places with you right now-“
At the sound of their laughter, the man’s fair skin turns quite pink, giving a crooked grin that made his cheeks pop up a little. “I’m Jeno, maybe you’ll be in my place next time.”
“Next time?”
“Yeah, maybe we can come back when you’re not so wet-“
The two shared a light laugh, their voices soon joining the rain as they strike a conversation.
The rest, as they say, is history.
Remembering the memory fondly, Y/N clutched a blanket to their body with a soft smile, Jeno had wrapped that blanket around them because rainy days tend to get too cold around their home.
“Jeno, I brought my umbrella today like you always reminded me to do-“ they call out before giving a dry laugh as they grab their phone, “But I was too lazy to use it and my jacket got wet again.”
They look up to see Jeno’s face and they purse their lips in thought, their hand unconsciously fiddling with the engagement ring on their finger.
The day they got engaged was also a sudden rainy day, the thought only crossed her mind just then.
Jeno took them to the carnival that day, the carnival near the cat café they first met.
“You said you wanted to ride the Ferris wheel, hm?” Jeno hums to them that afternoon just as they awoke from a long nap, he earned a nod in response.
Jeno gives an adoring chuckle and pecks their nose, giving them a groggy smile, having just woken up as well.
“Get dressed, I’m taking you to your first Ferris Wheel ride,” he softly instructs as he trail his hand up their bare shoulder.
In less than an hour, the two were dressed comfortably and were soon heading to the carnival in Jeno’s car.
Upon arriving, they’d had snacks and were walking around the area hand in hand.
They’d take pictures around the carnival and play games as well. Jeno really tried to get Y/N an overly huge whale plush hanging from one of the stalls, it caught their eye as they were passing it and Jeno instantly hopped to the game and started throwing rings to the bottles.
The plastic rings kept bouncing off the lids and rolling away, much to Jeno’s dismay. It took a lot of convincing from Y/N – and losing half the money on his wallet – to pry him away from the stall.
Sure, their lover couldn’t snatch up a twenty-inch plush but Y/N left that place crying with laughter and Jeno couldn’t ask for anything better.
It was then, in the melodious sound of their laughter that everything clicked for Jeno.
Everything made sense to him, and he knew that his everything is Y/N.
Gently taking their hand, Jeno cupped his lips and mumbled to their ear, “The sun is setting now, love, let’s head over to the Ferris wheel?” he suggests.
Lord, the way their eyes lit up, Jeno knew he’d do anything to make them his forever.
His smile matched theirs as he leads them to the line for the ride and they were soon buzzing with excitement as they await their turn to get in.
‘Plink!’ a water droplet hit a metal railing near them, ‘Plink! Plink! Plink!’.
Soon, more droplets were joining each other and before they knew it, it started raining on the carnival.
“Sorry folks- we can’t resume operation on the Ferris wheel right now-“
Before the carny could finish his announcement, Jeno was already whisking Y/N away, looking around for a spot they can shade themselves in.
Unfortunately for them, the patrons of the carnival all had the same idea and they were scrambling to seek shelter under food stall umbrellas and game stall awnings, leaving no space for the couple as they navigated through the rain.
“Y/N, do you have an umbrella in your bag?” Jeno quickly asks, whipping his eyes to their direction. It took Y/N a moment to remember but soon their eyes widened as they pat the bag on their side, they had forgotten to bring their umbrella, the item left by their house’s door.
How many times had Jeno reminded them of keeping one handy, they’re always forgetting their umbrella after all.
Y/N thought Jeno would be mad… but he wasn’t. He just looked worried as they were slowly getting soaked.
Deciding to continue finding a shade, Jeno slips off his jacket and does his best to shade them both – mostly his lover though – from the rain.
“Follow my lead, okay?” he softly calls out as he makes them hold one side of the jacket, his firm arms wrapping around their waist – the action seemingly so natural, like his arms always belonged around them.
Y/N could only nod as they stare and their beloved’s face, there was a frown adorning it, his brows furrowed in determination to get them out the rain. He looked handsome, but that’s not why they fell for the man more in that moment.
The fact that he was putting all his effort to get Y/N out the rain only reinforced to them that he is the one for them.
It takes a few moments, but Jeno had pulled them between two pillars in a nearby building. Being decorative, they had nowhere to go. They were trapped between the pillars with their chests nearly touching with how little space there is.
Panting from all the running and navigating around, the two began to giggle and laugh together at the sudden turn of events.
For most others, this date would have been ruined – they couldn’t ride the Ferris wheel, the one thing they came there to do, and now they’re soaking wet and unable to leave the shade lest they get bombarded by more rain (god knows Jeno won’t let Y/N do that).
As their laughter dies down, their eyes trail up each other and their gazes met.
Faint smiles adorned their faces from their laughter and, to each other, that made them the most beautiful person on Earth, regardless of them dripping water all over the place or not.
A sudden flash – maybe lightning, maybe there wasn’t anything at all and the two just felt a spark – but the two were soon on a lip lock, their hands roughly moving to hold and feel each other as their lips crashed together in a bruise-giving manner.
As Y/N whined against the man, their hands tightly gripping at the man’s damp locks, they hear a faint call, “Wait…”
Jeno, despite being the needier one in the kiss, pulled away and looked at their lover, “I… I can’t do this.”
Y/N could feel their heart drop as the words leave their mouth, “What do you mean?”
“I can’t keep kissing you like this without you being mine?”
They furrowed their brows in confusion, “I am yours, am I not?”
Jeno only chuckles and shakes his head, moving back as much as he can from Y/N, at least as much as he can in the area they have.
He puts his hands on his pocket as his cheeks began to glow a light shade.
The next thing she realized was that the man is getting down on one knee, offering a petite ring to her.
The ring, although simple, had an infinity symbol in the middle that was surrounded by numerous gems of their favorite color. There was not much sunlight but the ring shined so brightly in their eyes, almost as much as the man that was holding the ring.
“Y/N, you’re my forever and my always. My sunlight in the rain, my comfort, my home and my world… but it isn’t enough for me that I can hold you in my arms and kiss you like I did every day… so I ask you, will you please be mine and mine only?” Jeno speaks out – for once his voice is all serious and loud. He tilts his head, motioning to the ring in his finger with a fond smile, “Let me love you more and more every day. Let me be the only man who can.”
Y/N was soon sputtering and crying, their tears drenching their cheeks that were just starting to dry from the rain.
In their crying spell, they had somehow uttered the words, “Yes, I will be yours,” and Jeno was soon standing up, hugging them close whispering sweet nothings into their ears in an attempt to comfort them or at least calm them down.
Though through the tears, Y/N smiled, knowing that they can now call Jeno their fiancé.
Despite the pounding rain, Jeno’s whispers echoed louder in their mind.
Back in their living room, Y/N continued to shift around their engagement ring.
By this time, months later, the ring is still as pretty as the day Jeno slipped it on their finger, though the gems were now less shiny, they never stopped loving the jewelry their beloved gave.
A small sneeze from Jeno resounds in the room.
“Bless you-“ Y/N said, making their mind buffer for a moment, them saying that became a force of habit even when they’re spacing out, sometimes it shocks them that their body easily reacts to sneezes that way.
They suppose it started the days after they got engaged.
Y/N insisted that they go back home since it’s still raining and Jeno already did what he came here to do.
The man shakes his head, mouth in a thin line, “No, love, I took you here to ride the Ferris wheel with you, and I’m not leaving until we do that, okay?” he hums, voice once again soft, as he caresses their hands, one of the fingers now showing off a newly gifted ring.
They really tried to talk Jeno out of it, but he wouldn’t budge.
“Besides, it’s raining, we shouldn’t go anywhere until it stops,” with his point taken, they waited.
When the rain completely stopped, Jeno enthusiastically dragged them off to the direction of the Ferris wheel.
Even the carny was so confused how eager the man seemed to get on the ride, he even willing to wait half an hour to let it dry enough.
Nonetheless, they spent the end of the day perfectly.
Jeno and Y/N were riding the Ferris wheel, the man being able to keep his word to his dearest fiancé as they watched the sun set from the top of the ride, their forms bathed in the orange hues of the last rays of the sun.
The kiss they shared that day was nothing like they’ve ever had before, because now they know that their futures are intertwining together.
“ACHOO!”
The next few days came and Jeno was running a fever and a cold.
Y/N got rather worried as he couldn’t get out of bed at all and his temperature was at an all-time high.
What worried them more was this lasted for quite a while.
“Love, don’t worry, I’m fine-“ Jeno calls out as he squeeze’s Y/N’s hand.
They had taken it upon themselves to bring Jeno to the couch downstairs, everything was more accessible for them both there and they thought Jeno could use a little exercise after being bedridden for a while.
“Fine? Jeno, you can barely stand without my help-“ they laugh out, masking the worry in their tone.
“I’m just being dramatic, Y/N,” he whispers out as they reach the bottom step, “I’ve always had a weak immune system, you know?”
His fiancé could only roll their eyes before grunting as they hauled Jeno to the sofa, laying him down so he’s comfortable.
They had placed a few pillows and blankets there beforehand so it was easy to set him down comfortably.
“Do you need anything, darling?” they softly call out, biting their lip as Jeno clutches the blanket to his body, panting a bit from the strain on his body.
The man gives out a tired smile and nods, pointing to his lips, obviously asking for a kiss from his fiancé, he did say kisses always made him feel better.
This made Y/N snort and shake their head, “Jeno! You’re sick- I’m not going to kiss you and risk being sick too,” they point out but presses a quick peck to the man’s forehead, “If I get sick, who will take care of you?”
Jeno pouts a little at their words but nods in understanding, uttering a few words of agreement that was drowned out from the rain and thunder outside, his voice barely a whisper.
“Thank you, now… I’m heading to the kitchen to make some soup, okay? Stay put,” they instruct to their beloved as they turn to another room.
Jeno tried his best to watch them go, peeking from under his blanket, but his eyes were already drooping.
One look behind them told Y/N that the man was cuddled up in his blanket, fast asleep.
They coo and turn to the slowly boiling pot, Jeno always said he grows sick on rainy days, it’s why he doesn’t go out often, Y/N didn’t know how to help if it’s that normal, but maybe them cooking some chicken noodle soup could help him, even a little.
Their ring glints on their finger as they cut vegetables to add to the pot. They couldn’t help but feel giddy.
This made them look back on the couch where Jeno still lay, asleep with a soft smile on his features.
He was in no means a small man, but he looked so tiny and cute wrapped up in his blanket in the couch, this only made Y/N want to put him in their pocket and never let go.
‘How can a man be so handsome and cute at the same time?’ they thought to themselves, smiling brightly as it, once more, dawns on them that this man will be marrying them soon.
Y/N is taken out of their thoughts when they notice that the soup nearly boiled over the pot, signaling that it’s close to being cooked. They lowered the stove fire before covering the pot a bit.
Since it was nearly cooked, they supposed they should wake Jeno up so he can eat soon.
Though, to their surprise, their fiancé shivering, hands holding his blanket tighter.
A hint of worry crossed Y/N’s eyes.
“Jeno… the soup is almost here,” the bent over to whisper to him, “You seem cold, I’ll just grab a second blanket-“
Before Y/N could even make a move, Jeno reached out and easily tugged them down, their body sprawling over his.
“What-“
“Shhh, don’t move, you’re already giving me more warmth,” he whispers out, opening one eye to peek at them when they squeaked.
Jeno was half asleep, his voice husky and his eyes barely opened, but everything about his screamed one thing, ‘Stay’.
Who could say no to such a face? Y/N couldn’t.
They just nodded and laid their head on where Jeno’s chest would be under the blankets.
The person couldn’t help but giggle when they looked up at their fiancé and he was giving out an accomplished smile at making them stay.
Before anything could happen, Y/N leans forward, lightly pressing their lips against Jeno’s.
The man stiffens a little from shock, smile wavering when his mouth falls agape, his cheeks turned a bit flushed and this time it wasn’t because of the fever.
“I thought no kissing because I’m sick?” he asks out, voice ever as soft against the drizzle happening outside.
“I won’t get sick, this is just one kiss,” they hum out a reply before leaning forward.
A second kiss.
A third kiss.
Maybe more.
Though Y/N never did get sick from kissing him that much, no?
Like in the day they met, light chuckles mixed with the sound of the rain.
God, rainy days always made them reminisce, it was always the rainy days.
Though this time, only Y/N’s laughter came.
Tears prickled their eyes as they stared at their phone, a smiling Jeno looking back at them.
Please… they just wanted to hear his laughter for a while.
Despite the aching in their heart, Y/N went head and pressed play on the video.
“Hey, Y/N! Maybe it’s been a while- ahaha-“ Jeno sheepishly calls out.
Just the sound of his voice made them want to brawl.
His voice was ever so cheerful and bright despite his tone being faint, practically whispering.
The dark circles under his eyes were a huge contrast to his sickly pale skin, yet he still was – is – the most handsome man they have ever set eyes on.
“This is pretty weird… you’re sleeping in the other room but I’m still addressing you here-“ the man chuckles, smiling so much that his eyes turn into crescents.
He soon winces though; his smile having caused pressure against the tubes sticking out of his nose.
“Sorry I’m filming with the tubes on,” he gives off a sad smile this time, his fingers gently running along its rubber, now made aware of his unsightly impediment.
“I know it bothers you… it just… reminds you of how little time we have left together-“ the man hums out, trying to smile but his voice cracked subtly, something only people who’ve known him for years can point out.
“But I need it to talk to you right now, love… I need it to spend the remainder of my time loving you.”
By this time, Y/N’s eyes were glistening as their body threatens to wrack with sobs.
Even in his last moments, Jeno was thinking of them.
“Oh! Look-“ the man was interrupted by a sudden cough, shaking his head and giving a reassuring smile to the camera.
“Look, Y/N, it’s raining again…” he whispers as he turns the camera to the window beside him.
The video was a bit blurry but they could see the water droplets painting the glass.
“It’s so pretty… maybe we should dance under the rain next time instead of just running to find shade,” he suggests out, but they could both tell that wasn’t possible.
“O-or maybe we can just stay inside and race raindrops, that sounds good, no?” Jeno laughs a little, but it was cut short when his voice gets caught in his throat, making him take a long breath to compose himself.
“We could also eat some of the chicken noodle soup you make,” he hums as he leans his head on the window, careful not to bother the tubes as his cheeks being smooshed a little.
Being honest, Y/N hadn’t made that soup since then… they hated how every sip of it reminded them of when Jeno was huddled up in a blanket, frailly lifting his spoon to his near-white lips.
He’d always compliment them after and they suppose it made them feel a little better.
“You never believe me but I really think the soup is helping me feel better- it’s almost as warm as when you hug me, though I can barely stay awake those times-“ another chuckle. How can a happy sound make Y/N’s heart ache so much?
Jeno sighs as he turns his head, a fond smile grazing his lips, a loving one Y/N would always see when they looked into his eyes.
“God, you’re so beautiful… I can never tell you this enough but even back then, being soaked in that cat café, you were so… so gorgeous…” he mumbles, biting his lip as his eyes glossed over with tears.
“I mean… you’re just asleep, turning on your mattress and I-“ he takes a sharp breath, unable to look at the camera for a moment, “I’m just so lucky to have you in my life.”
“Oh fuck- why am I being all sentimental-“ he tries to humor out, but his voice is broken, he sniffs a little, difficult with the rubber stuck on his nose, as he wipes the corner of his eyes.
“I don’t- I don’t even know why I’m making this, Y/N,” he laughs out, his fingers running through his hair as he gives a smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I don’t know if you’ll ever find this-“ he gives another sniff, “I hope you never find this-“ and he gives another laughter, this one dry and sarcastic.
“Because I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
Y/N has watched the video a few times now, but that doesn’t stop the whimper from escaping their lips, hand clasped around their mouth to silence their cries – tears running down their cheeks.
A small yawn is heard in the video – their yawn.
Jeno looks over. His gaze softens as he gives out a long exhale, puffing his cheeks out in a futile attempt to not let the tears out.
“What am I saying, love?” he mumbles, more to himself as he shakes his head.
Jeno flashes a smile to the camera despite the teary eyes he has, “Look… um- cook a bit more soup and I’ll be right as rain…” he laughs, fingers tapping against the cool glass.
His voice – though still a weak whisper – was now more confident and determined.
“When I’m better, let’s go on more dates. Ride the Ferris wheel more…” he hums out happily.
“Let’s prepare the best vows we can for our wedding, hm?”
“Then… let’s get married soon and let’s stay in this house so we can grow old together…”
“Let’s grow old loving each other, okay?”
“Okay.” Y/N finally speaks as the video ends, but they know that didn’t happen.
They curl up, unable to keep the pain any longer.
Through the tears, the engagement ring glints. Just a reminder of plans they couldn’t meet.
Although his words echoed in their head, Jeno is gone.
His voice nothing more than whispering raindrops in the wind.
Is it raining where you are right now?
Yes
No
I don't know, I can't see outside from where I am right now
🍂Autumn is a second spring, when every leaf is a flower🍂
- Albert Camus