In case you didn’t hear...I launched a Patreon last night! All of my work will still be uploaded to AO3 and FFN as it always has been, but I will now be posting advanced chapters and extended teasers on Patreon!
Chapter 13 is now live there! It will go live on AO3 and FFN in two weeks on Aug. 1.
Read it now!
Summary: Kagome comes home to Montana from her new life in California…only to be greeted with hostility and the demons of her past. Some mistakes can never be forgiven. She just hopes that maybe this one can.
Story inspired by Clearwillow’s “New Moon Ride”, written with permission and for the March 14, 2020 White Day celebration…and slowly uploaded much sooner…
Awards:
Best Angst by Feudal Connection 2020 2nd Quarter
Nominations:
Best Angst by Feudal Connection 2020 2nd Quarter
Best AU/AR by Feudal Connection 2020 2nd Quarter
Story Music:
Spotify list, put together by Espressopirate
Youtube
Fan Art:
Inuyasha and Bessie by Clearwillow
Inuyasha and Kagome shenanigans by Clearwillow
Post shower Inuyasha by Clearwillow
Art from Part Six by Clearwillow
InuKag Fluff by Clearwillow
Sesshomaru by Clearwillow
Touga by Clearwillow
InuKag Kiss by Clearwillow
Blanket Buddies by Clearwillow
Post shower Inuyasha by Underwater0phelia
Rancher Inuyasha by Bearpluscatart
Intimate Inuyasha and Kagome by Bearpluscatart
Rancher Inuyasha by Lebiishoujo
Inuyasha and Kagome - The Talk by I-dream-of-soup
Inuyasha and Bessie by Nsr0716
Wall of tags for notifications - Please let me know if you want in or out:
Kagome drove down the long, winding dirt path to her mother's house, the events of the day playing over and over again in her head. She had so many questions for her mother, starting with "what the hell was going on?", followed by "why is Inuyasha helping out around the ranch?".
As her childhood home came into view, she felt the familiar bitter sweetness of nostalgia wash over her. This was the home she had grown up in. This house was the background for most of her childhood memories…both good and bad.
The wooden rocking chairs were still out on the porch. She had spent hours there as a child with her grandfather, listening to his stories about her father as a child. It's where she had plucked her fingers raw as his leathery hands covered hers, teaching her to play his guitar.
The front yard was cleaner now. It still had a soccer ball near the side, but the bikes were gone. Stored in the shed around back, like they were supposed to be. She supposed her brother drove to school now instead of biking the long distance.
She used to hate biking to school too. Only she didn't…Because Inuyasha would stop by first and go with her. He would race with her...letting her win almost every single time, because they both knew that he could pedal a lot faster.
Their fathers had taught them how to ride the bike at the same time...on this very long, winding road. Inuyasha would put on a brave face whenever he fell and skinned himself, but her father would swoop in, look at his wounds, and give him a hug. Her father would call him a champ when he stood back up, ready to keep going.
That's the kind of man her father was.
The kind of man who would wake up at four in the morning to take her fishing and just listen to her talk about all of her problems, no matter how big or small they were. He'd listen to her complain and vent over school work, excitedly talk about the latest article she was working on for the school paper, and confess her ideas for that newest short story.
It was their special time together. Where they could just be and bond...Where he had told her that he believed in her dreams. Where he told her that she was a talented writer and should keep pursuing it. Where he had told her that he was happy she was happy with Inuyasha...but if he hurt her, he wouldn't hesitate to break out his shotgun.
She had groaned at that...but having his blessing? For all if it?
It had meant the world to her.
Now...the rocking chairs stood empty, and the fishing rods lay coated in dust.
A light had been extinguished in her heart with each of their passing...and it had taken a long time to find a small flashlight for the void within.
She put her car into park, coming around to the trunk to pop it and remove her suitcase as the door to the house opened.
"Kagome!" her younger brother, Souta, called as he ran over to her, leaping into her arms so suddenly she had to drop the suitcase to catch him. "Trust fall!" he yelled as she staggered backwards from the force, the car catching her in her back. If it hadn't been there, she would have landed on her ass, but she didn't care.
"Souta," she laughed, her heart feeling a bit lighter. This was why she had come home. For him. For his graduation.
"Hey sis," he grinned, his eyes happily dancing before he bent over and tucked his head under her chin, squeezing the air out of her lungs.
"S-Sout-ta...C-can't...breathe…"
"That's ok."
"S-Souta!"
"Alright," he grumbled, pulling away from her and she gasped for air, bending over to rest her hands on her knees. "I'm so glad you made it! We were a bit worried that you wouldn't when your flight got delayed...and then we heard your car broke down…"
"I wasn't going to let that stop me! It's your big day buddy...I couldn't miss that," she grinned, righting herself and grabbing him around the shoulders to muss up his hair. "God...I think you grew another inch since Christmas...would you stop growing already? You're already taller than me."
"Just trying to catch up to Inuy-ah...LeBron James. You know. So I can have a better shot at the NBA," he smiled weakly.
"You can say his name, Souta," she replied, pulling away to push her hair behind her ears as he picked up her suitcase. "He's a good man. Not Voldemort...we don't have to pretend he doesn't exist, ok?"
"Are we pretending that Zach doesn't exist?" he asked, leading her into the house.
"Yes. Yes we are," she laughed, closing the door. It smelled like home...or at least of her mother's fried chicken. And if that wasn't home, she wasn't sure what was.
"Oh! My Sweet Baby Girl!" She heard her mother's sweet, melodic timbre instantly washed away any lingering pain from her hellish day. It was all worth it. The delayed flight. The broken down car. The horrible dinner. All of it was worth it so that she could be here. With her family.
She'd brave it all again just for this.
Her mother swept her up into her arms, rocking her from side to side, and she inhaled deeply. Underneath the scent of fried chicken she smelled of her, and of the fancy rose scented perfume she only wore on special occasions.
"Hi Mama," she sighed, pulling away to look closely at her mother. She was the same, but not. She was a bit thinner than she remembered her being...her cheeks only slightly more sunken in than she recalled as being "normal" for her mother. She wore concealer, under her eyes...something she normally avoided doing. Perhaps it was to hide the dark circles she was certain was under it? Her hair, while still short and wavy, was a bit frizzier than she remembered it being as well. Sure it was summer and all, but her mother had always taken pride in her hair.
If Inuyasha hadn't already tipped her off that something might be wrong here, she would have known the second she saw her mother.
"Let me get a look at you! Oh it's been too long, Kagome!" Her mother sighed, holding her out at an arm's length as she examined her. "Good! You're eating well."
"Mother! Did you just call me fat?"
"I said nothing of the sort - I'm just glad living in California hasn't gotten to you yet and I don't have a twig daughter."
God! Everyone and their hatred of California!
"I'm fine Mama," she growsed. "Maybe a little tired and emotionally worn down from dinner...but I'm fine."
"Yeah how'd that go?" Souta called, running down the stairs from her room. He sounded like a bull in a china cabinet, with the way his feet pounded on each step. "I was shocked when Mama told me. Of all the places for your car to break down…"
"Trust me - I know," she replied rolling her eyes as she followed her mother and brother into the kitchen. "It was...well, I would have liked it if it had gone better, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse. Inuyasha helped me fix the car up as soon as dinner was over."
"Did you two talk about anything?" her mother pried lightly, placing an open tupperware of chocolate chip cookies in the center of the table.
She snorted and plucked a cookie out from the pile within, taking a bite and asking, "about what specifically?"
"I don't know, anything noteworthy," she shrugged, reaching into the refrigerator and pulling out the milk, pouring it into two glasses.
"She's asking if you and Inuyasha talked about...things," her brother helpfully supplied.
"We talked about a bunch of things."
"Such as?" her mother tried again, placing the milk in front of them and crossing her arms on the table.
"Such as my favorite color," she replied dryly, taking a sip from her milk.
"No...really..." her mother said, cocking her head to the side.
"Really," Kagome confirmed, taking another bite from her cookie. "He asked me what it was. He wasn't sure if it was still green. Shouldn't we be talking about something more exciting than my run in with Inuyasha? Like Souta's graduation?"
"I dunno sis," he teased. "You've been avoiding him for seven years. This feels pretty exciting to me…"
She threw her cookie at him.
"The two of you! We're fine. Everything's fine. Can we just...move on from him?" she groaned, and they reluctantly changed the conversation to Souta's graduation plans.
The ceremony was the day after next, and Souta had requested that they go to Ottwell's, one of only two diners in town, afterwards followed by bowling. Apparently he had plans with some friends that night, so he was graciously gracing them with his presence in the afternoon.
After that, they spent the next two hours talking about everything and nothing. Kagome filled them in on how work at the magazine and was going, and confirmed that no...she hadn't seriously started dating anyone new yet. She had set up Tinder on her phone again though.
Buyo her cat was fine. A little older and more crotchety, but her roommate Ayame was looking after him while she was gone. She had met Ayame in college and the two had become fast friends, supporting each other on all of life's ups and downs on the west coast.
Souta, she was surprised to hear, had decided to delay attending a college for a year. When she had pressed him on why, he had simply shrugged and told her that he wasn't sure what he wanted to do beyond this...and if there even was something he wanted to do beyond this. Besides. It's not like it ever hurt anyone to take a year off. He would use the time to help around the ranch and do some soul searching.
She would have liked to argue with him, but she couldn't. It was important that he forge his own path, and if this was what he needed to do…well...she might not like it, but she could support it. Just as they had when she left home for UCLA.
When he began to fake yawn to excuse himself to go to sleep, but really play video games in his room, Kagome stood up and snapped the lid back onto the tupperware of cookies.
"You know, I had been hoping that perhaps you had patched things up with Inuyasha," her mother began casually, watching her daughter wash her hands in the kitchen sink.
Kagome could sense her mother had been waiting until he was out of earshot before starting this conversation, and she sighed.
"Mama…"
"He didn't want to upset you, but Souta would really like it if Inuyasha would join us. The bond he shares with him...you know he's always been like an older brother to him."
"And you're both asking me for permission to invite him along?" she smiled wryly, coming to slump down in a chair at the kitchen table again.
"He's not. He didn't want to hurt you...but he's mentioned it in passing, quite a bit. I am, though. It would mean the world to him, Sweetheart."
Kagome worried her fingers and bit the inside of her lip, her chest slightly pained that they were afraid to invite him along because it would upset her. She knew that the two had always shared a special bond. Inuyasha was the older brother Souta had never had...and he was the brother Inuyasha had always wished he had.
It hurt that her family didn't believe in her ability to keep it together with him for one day for her brother's sake...yet what reason did they have to believe that they could?
Every single time she had ever come in, they had carefully asked just once if she planned to see him. And every time her answer had been no.
She avoided him like the plague.
But...if today was any indication, fate really was forcing him back into her life.
Besides. Souta deserved to have his male role model there. Their grandfather and father died when he was so young...Inuyasha was all he had to look up to. She couldn't take that from him.
"He should be there. We can be civil for an afternoon, if today was any indication," she finally whispered, and her mother reached out to take her hangs, giving them a light squeeze.
"Thank you Sweetie," she grinned warmly. "Why don't you tell him in the morning? It will make his day and I don't think he'd be able to go to sleep now if we told him."
"Sounds good," she nodded. "I...Mama...I want to ask you something. About something Inuyasha said earlier."
Her mother instantly froze and her back straightened. She was apprehensive.
"Oh? What did he say?"
"He implied that things aren't going so well here. That he's been helping out around here a lot? At least enough to know I was dating Zach, and that's not exactly a casual conversation topic…"
Her mother's eyes flashed with slight agitation before she schooled her expression again into casual nonchalance.
"Nothing is wrong, Sweetie. He's offered to help out, and I appreciate his assistance."
"But why did he offer? Mama...come on. You can tell me. I know something is going on. The Takahashi's have a large enough ranch that Inuyasha wouldn't offer help unless there was a good reason...And you look stressed, Mama. You aren't eating right...getting enough sleep...your hair is a mess…"
"Kagome Higurashi, you bite your tongue! I raised you better than to insult your mother!"
"I'm not insulting you, I'm trying to figure out what is going on! Please Mama...I'm not a child. You can confide in me. What's going on here?"
Her mother gave her a long, hard look before sighing and rising to her feet, retrieving two of her father's whisky glasses and a bottle of Jim Beam. She deftly poured two fingers worth into each glass, adding a few ice cubes before setting the drinks down on the old, wooden table.
She sat down, picking up one of the glasses and giving the amber liquid a swirl, trying to chill it a bit faster before taking a sip.
"Kagome...the ranch isn't doing so well. We haven't been for the last year."
"What?" she gasped, pulling her glass closer to her and gripping it tightly between white-knuckled fingers. "What happened?"
"It was just...one thing after another. First we had a rodent infestation in the feed...then Bullseye died of old age, and Bill got sick...we only had Benny left," her mother began, shaking her head as she began to list their tragedies. Bullseye, Bill, and Benny were all of their bulls. And if they were only down to one breeding male, that would make breeding seasons difficult and affect profits. The rodent infestation would have killed off most of their feed...and both replacing the feed and their bulls was expensive.
"Then we had a bout of coyote attacks picking off the calves," her mother continued. "Money got so tight that I had to make some hard decisions. I had to let go of Matthew, Jim, and Kenny. They've found work elsewhere, but it's been hard maintaining this place without their help and with the loan shark breathing down our neck—"
"—Loan shark?!" She squealed. "You went to a loan shark?"
"Kagome, Honey, I was desperate. It's expensive replacing all of that feed...and I was only able to replace one of the bulls to try and keep us going, but it hasn't been digging us out of the hole yet," her mother sighed, taking another long swig from her glass. "The mortgage was due and I didn't have the money, so I did the only thing I could."
Kagome took a few, deep gulps of her drink and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Oh my God," she whispered, leaning forward onto the table. How could her mother have kept this from her? She could have helped! Would have helped! She would have sent back some of her paycheck, would have looked for alternative solutions that didn't involve turning to a loan shark...She would have...she would have done something!
"We will be fine, Sweetheart," her mother soothed, taking another sip from her glass. "Things will be tight, but we've made due before. We will again. I'm...I'm thankful to Inuyasha, though. If it weren't for him...I don't know how we'd be doing if it weren't for him."
"I'm confused. You let go of Matthew, Jim, and Kenny, and hired Inuyasha?"
Her mother shot her a sad smile, tilting her head to the side.
"We didn't hire him, Kagome. He's just been doing. Showed up one day before dawn and had already fed the livestock and collected all the eggs before I even had breakfast made. I insisted on giving him something for his time, but he didn't want anything other than…" She trailed off and closed her eyes sighing.
"Other than what?" Kagome swallowed.
"Other than the occasional update on how you're doing. I think...I think a part of him still loves you, Sweetie."
She couldn't have stopped the bitter laugh from bubbling out of her throat even if she had tried to.
Him? Still in love with her?
Hardly.
Though he had kissed her…She could still feel his lips pressed against hers...
But that was a goodbye.
Wasn't it?
Yes. It was. And she wasn't going to start thinking differently. It would be a mistake if she did.
Sure they had a few moments of...comradery? Civility? Nostalgia? But it wasn't anything more than that. There was enough hostility and thinly veiled barbs to be construed as something more than two people trying to get along for the evening.
"I think you're sorely mistaken, Mama."
Her mother gave her a knowing look, but didn't say more on the subject. "Regardless," she continued, "he's been coming by every morning, helping for as long as he can until he has to go back home and work for his father. I've been making him breakfast, so there's a chance you'll run into him again before Souta's graduation."
Perfect.
There really wasn't any hiding this trip, huh?
"Well...thanks for letting me know," she sighed. "At least I have a head's up this time, right?"
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Had a rough morning (my dog tripped my coming down the stairs and I have a sprained ankle now) so I said FUCK IT and am posting early. I’ll still have stuff for white day.
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