#random fic

[writes-too-much]

a fic where

for whatever reason, a girl/woman has to pretend to be pregnant but she's lowkey bad at remembering how to act pregnant so her friends have to constantly remind her that pregnant women don't do [insert thing] and the like. Hy-jinx ensue.

[belliesandburps]

NRC Housewardens Text Thread

Riddle: Greetings, fellow housewardens! As the headmaster has stated, we're each to come up with themed ideas for the next Spring festival! I have approximately ninety five ideas to share and sixteen workshoppable ideas, but I'd like to hear yours first!

Kalim: Ooooh! I think we should do like a water park day! I can even use my signature spell if they need extra water! ^-^

Leona: k

Azul: Splendid idea, Kalim! And may I say, if we do a waterpark event, I could arrange to have the Monstro Lounge cater at only 99.95% the in-lounge rate. THAT of course, is the friends and family discount ;)

Leona: k

Idia: lmao waterparks??? takin my shirt off in front of u guys??? ggbtngfh kthx

Vil: ...What weird spell did you just cast...?

Leona: k

Riddle: Leona, it wouldn't kill you to contribute even a LITTLE bit.

Leona: k

Riddle (is angrily typing out a giant paragraph and those three dot dot dots continue hovering)

Malleus: Ah, a water park day? Well, my goochiness! That would be such an absolute cutie patootie of a time! We better all bring our best vibes because it is going to be the funnest, bestest day that we shall not soon forget, my dear fellow housewardens! Less than three less than three less than three colon open parenthetical

Riddle (literally stops typing and just stares at his phone with the blankest, most confused look on his face)

Vil: ...Uhhh...

Leona: dude

Malleus: Yes, as you can see, Lilia has been teaching me how to use this plastic communications rectangle. I feel that it's going quite well! Lilia certainly seems pleased.

Everyone: tries typing, stops, dumbfounded

Idia: lol

[red-riot-unbreakable-heart]

Shoto Todoroki x Sabrina Carpenter | Romance

Shoto Todoroki really likes Sabrina Carpenter. Like...A LOT.

It's something in the way she moves, the way her eyes always make contact with the camera when she sings on TV. She's definitely Shoto's celebrity crush.

When Shoto is 22 and finally breaks the Pro Hero Top Ten, his friends take him to the Short & Sweet tour to celebrate. Since they're all Pro Heroes and celebrities in their own right - it's no surprise that they manage to secure VIP seats at the barrier.

No one is surprised when Sabrina locks eyes on Shoto early in the show. He's a world renowned hero, and handsome to boot. She recognizes his distinct two toned hair style and broad shoulders from a mile away.

When it comes time to intro her hit song Juno, Sabrina saunters to the edge of the stage - feet away from where Shoto and his friends are staring up at her in awe. Shoto's eyes are sparkling, wide as dinner plates as she deliberately stares him down. Tens of thousands of people are cheering in the stadium, but in that singular moment her attention is focused soley on him.

The glittering pop star lifts the mic to her lips and in a cheeky voice says, "I think I might need to arrest someone for being too hot." Sabrina grabs a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs from one of her back up dancers and starts to spin them around her finger enticingly.

Heat flares in Shoto's cheeks, he can't take his eyes away from her. He's watched enough social media videos of Sabrina's tour to know what comes next. Wordlessly, he holds out his hands in an invitation for her to cuff him.

The camera crew flips live footage of Shoto onto the many jumbotron screens across the stadium, and the crowed roars it's approval. It's absolutely defening.

Sero claps Shoto on the back and Kirishima lets out a joyful whoop as Sabrina waves for her security team to bring Shoto on stage. Izuku pushes him forward and towards security, his rapid excited babble drowned out by the crowd's insanity.

As Shoto is pulled onto the stage, he is uncomfortably aware of three facts: He is overwhelmed, overstimulated, and instantly in love.

He stumbles up onto the stage with as much grace as a baby deer learning to walk.

Sabrina slaps the cuffs across his wrists, leans in close and whispers in his ear: "Have you ever tried...this one?" She plants a sticky, lipsticked kiss on Shoto's left cheek, and instantly Shoto is filled with a bubbling warmth.

Shoto spends the evening in the fuzzy hand cuffs, and Sabrina makes sure not to remove them until the next morning, when they're sprawled out together across her hotel room bed.

[vexter-the-comedian]

"Vex? What are you–" Charlie spoke to the sinner as they rested against the counter, watching them tumble backwards onto the kitchen tile. She rushes to help him back up, but he merely brushes her off, slowly getting back to his feet.

"Ugh- I was jus' trynna make some coffee. Somehow ended up nappin' like a horse.." As he rubs his head, Charlie turns to the coffee maker, tilting her head in confusion. "Why- why are you making coffee at night? It's nearly midnight, y'know?"

Vexter grumbles under his breath, leaning against the wall to support himself. "I got nightshifts at woirk, boss's orders." His tail sweeps lazily against the ground as he goes to grab his coffee. Before he could reach it, Charlie would snatch it from the machine, using his lack of height against him by holding it over her head.

"HEY-"

"Nope- no- I'm not letting you work tonight. You look exhausted! Maybe... you coukd take the night off?" She tries to offer, even as Vex was still reaching for the coffee cup. "I can't do dat t'night! 'M already finna be late- got an hour forty-five left! C'mon, ya cheap royalty- gimme tha damn mug!!"

Pinned against the counter, she looks over to the sink as a last resort. With her eyes closed in a stern expression, she tips the coffe mug over the sink, letting its contents pour down the drain.

Vex just stares up at her with a mixture of surprise and annoyance. The audacity of this woman. "...why'd tha COFFEE had'da suffa, huh??!"

"..yeah, that probably wasn't the idea, whoooooops-"

"YA TINK??" He huffs out, backing away from Charlie with his head in his hands. "GREAT, now I gotta deal wit' dis night half asleep again.."

Charlie watches him walk away, a ping of sadness striking her chest. This was for the best- she NEEDED to do this for his sake. Before he was out of sight, Charlie snuck up behind and gently lifted him off his feet, trying to avoid being kicked.

"EY- CHARLIE?! THA HELL'S DA BIG IDEA?!!" He growls as he flails in the princess's hold, which was. Quite strong for someone of her thin stature. It's definitely that royal blood in her.

"I'msorryI'mSOrryWOAH- OKAY- VEX-!!" She struggles against the other demon just a tad, having to place him down for only a second to readjust his position. Which he tried NUMEROUS times to run away from. And tried to bite. A lot more times.

Eventually, she had him held like a child, chest to chest, arm under his tail with his legs wrapped around her waist. Neither of them knew hot it came to this, but Charlie was just glad she had a good hold on him.

Luckily, all that struggle seemed to wear Vexter down, as he was huffing with his chin rested on her shoulder. "...I hate you."

"This is for your own good, Vex. I can talk to- uh- your boss if he asks. Just.. rest a bit, okay?" Her tone was a bit overly worried, but she really was trying to get her point across. He's been so tired and groggy this past week, and she knows about his temper. Even if its just a night, she wants him to recharge. Not even just for work, but his own health too.

Mainly his heath, actually.

To her surprise, he wasn't putting up much of a fight anymore. His breathing calmed as she carefully walked up the stairs, the slightest vibrations of purrs could be felt against her body. It only took one OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD snore to her ear for her to realize he's fallen asleep in her arms.

Once she reaches his room, she whispers to Razzle to open the door for her. Stepping inside, she gently places the sleeping big back- sinner in his bed, slowly raising the covers over him as he stirred.

Before she coukd leave, a crackle of static made her head turn, seeing a walkie-talkie sitting on his nightstand.

"Johnathan!!" A voice growled through the static, "you better be on your way here! I can't afford to have you be late again!!"

Charlie immediately froze like a deer in headlights, glancing from Vex to the walkie-talkie. And back to Vex. And back to the walkie-talkie. Before she just quietly snatches it up and darts out the room.

"Um- hi! Hey- sorry but, uh- Vex can't make it to work.." She listens to the awkward silence from the device, nearly jumping as it spat out static again.

"Whom am I speaking to?" The voice asked in a more softer, yet suspected tone.

"I'm Charlie- Morningstar! I run the Hazin Hotel where you employee stays at! ..haaaaaai."

"Morningstar? Oh- Lucifer's offspring!" He shifted his own again, sounding more sincere and formal this time. "Apologies for my infomality, I didn't know I was taling with you, ma'am."

"Oh, no, it's fine! I don't really do all that.. royal, fancy stuff anyway." She giggles nervously, gently trying with the walkie-talkie in her hand.

She heard a soft hum from the voice before it spoke again, "In any case, where is Johnathan? You said he couldn't make it to work?"

"Um- he's resting right now. I thought.. he could use a break! Y'know- he's all.. grouchy and grumpy. Maybe a day off could help him? You.. know how he gets right?"

"Oh, all too well, der verdammte Griesgram," He clears his throat before continuing. "Well.. where is he now? He has some very important business to take care of here."

"Um..." Charlie looks back at the door of his room, just faintly hearing the sounds of his snores. "..knocked out."

Another static-laced hum echoes from her hand. "..if you insist he stays, I suppose I'll allow it. Can't make whats broken work any longer, right?"

Her heart nearly jumped with excitement hearing his agreement. "Oh- OH- THANK YOU!- I- thank you for your cooperation, misterrr.."

"Mortimer." She could almost see a kind grin on the mysterious man's face. "Thank you for letting me know this. I hope to see him tomorrow night?"

"Uhub- yes! I'll try to make sure he's well rested for tomorrow!"

Chuckles drip from the walkie-talkie now. Though, she could sense the voice was... off. "Wonderful. You have a good night, miss Morningstar."

"You too!" She lets the device click off, trying to hold back her squeals of delight.

From the corner of the hallway, she spots Vaggie watching her from afar, her smile fond and loving. "I see someone's excited."

Charlie eagerly nods her head, hopping over to her partner for a hug. "Yes, yes, YES! I convinced Vex's boss to let him stay the night!! AH- it doesn't sound that big but- IT'S A LOT TO ME!!"

Vaggie couldn't help but chuckle, holding Charlie's face to calm her down. "So he's still here? That's a shame."

"Vaggieeeeeeee.."

She chuckles again giving a quick peck to her cheek before gently holding her hand. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Glad to see you've grown better at persuading. Might just have to teach me that one day."

Charlie giggles, practically skipping down the hallway with her girlfriend, and a happy Razzle by her side. "You're already too good at persuasion, y'know?" She rests her head against her partner's, quietly humming up a new song number back to their shared room.

[atlasscrumpit]

Steven had noticed Marc was quieter lately.

He didn't know why, everything was done and over with.

Marc was in control and was doing aimless work on his laptop in their apartment.

"Marc, is everything okay? Lately you seem so quiet." Steven asked softly as Marc looked beside him at Steven in the reflection.

Steven could see guilt in Marc's eyes.

"You can tell me." Steven whispered as Marc smiled softly. After everything Steven was still so kind to him.

"I've just been thinking about what I did in the past, to you. When I would get angry, or when I broke the mirror and scared you or when we were in that room and I said some harsh things to you while I was drunk." Marc muttered looking away from him.

"I feel even worse when I yell or move suddenly and you flinch. I'm the reason you're afraid." Marc whispered with guilt as Steven looked at him sadly.

"Marc, it's not your fault I'm a bit more afraid then you or Jake. Yes there was a time I was a little afraid of you, there was a time I was afraid of Jake too. We all didn't understand everything properly so we lashed out at each other. I did the same to you Marc. Said some terrible things. But were all on the same page now, we all understand. Me flinching is just who I am, I probably carry more vulnerability than you and Jake. That's not because of you Marc it's because of our trauma." Steven replied softly as Marc looked at him and smiled.

"I love you so much buddy." Marc said making Steven smile too.

"I love you too Marc."

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Calls from the bubble

In which Dieter drives his therapist/friend (with benefits it’s complicated) insane during the filming of cliffbeasts 6

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x fem. Reader

Potential Triggers: Therapist/patient consunsual FWB relationship

Warnings: implied sex, mentions of drugs

Calls from the Bubble Masterlist

The same day, Los Angeles 11:26 a.m. / UK 7:26 p.m.

“I have a client in four minutes.”

“I don’t care. I am going insane.”

“Dieter…”

“It has been raining the whole fucking time I’ve been here.”

“Didn’t you land only yesterday?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re in the UK?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re not allowed outside anyway.”

“Yes. Where are you going with this?”

“You took me repeatedly out for walks during the rain.”

“And?”

“Jesus Fucking Christ Dieter…”

“I’m bored.”

You took a deep breath.

“Did you take a bath?”

“... No?”

“Did you unpack your suitcase?”

You were met with silence. 

“I sneaked three bath bombs into your suitcase. The ones you loved so much?”

“You did?” You could hear him rustling through his suitcase. 

“Mhhh yes. This reminds me of the last time I was over at your place. Made you cum three times in the tub.”

“I remember.”

“Gonna jerk off thinking of you.”

“Dieter…”

“What? You should be honoured that I'm thinking of you that way.”

“Right. Honoured. My client is here.”

“You’re always working when I need you.”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“Ugh okay. Call you later. Wear something pretty.”

“No… Dieter…”

But he already hung up. 

[ladyhallen]

Let Me Hear You

Harry finds the legend in the library.

Hidden under the dusty tomes and half-illegible due to how it had run, Harry reads of the Speakers.

Long ago, the story said, the gods walked the earth and Spoke. In Speaking, they brought life to the world and created. Air-speaking by the goddesses of the wind. Water-speaking by the goddesses that dwelled under the sea. Tree-speaking by the youthful gods of the earth. Fire-speaking by the greatest god of all.

The gods ruled the land they created with happiness but eventually had to leave. They gift those of their favorites with the people-speaking and give them leave to protect the rest. The more clever and ingenious people learned animal-speaking, gifted by the smallest and least noticed goddess of all.

Harry, reading this all with wide eyes and an even wider mind, realizes several things at once.

Aunt Petunia is a people-speaker.

It explains why the rest of Privet Drive do not contest the idea that Harry is a delinquent and a cheater. It also explained why having Aunt Petunia shout at her in the morning is more effective than several alarm clocks at once.

.

Harry tries to find other books about Speakers, but after several mythology books that made it sound so fantastical, she tosses the big books out and settles for one book written by a hippy author that focused too much on love and feelings.

She raises her eyebrows at that, but eventually learns to ignore it.

Speaking, the author says, is all about listening. To Speak, one has to listen first. Listen and listen. Until you can hear it in your bones, in your heart and in your soul. Listen, until it is something you can do in your sleep.

.

Listening, Harry realizes as she practices in her cupboard, is harder than people make it out to be.

Underneath the stairs, inside her cupboard, Harry makes herself as comfortable as possible as she strains her ears.

She can hear her heartbeat and her little puffs of breath. She quiets that, breathing a bit more deeply to compensate.

Inhale.

She can hear Dudley laughing loudly at something in the living room, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon talking about something quietly near the kitchen.

Exhale.

She can hear the big tree outside creaking in the wind.

Inhale.

She can hear the cars outside as other people came home from work.

One last exhale and Harry opens eyes she wasn’t aware that she had closed with a smile.

.

A week into Harry’s Listening exercises, she hears a spider spinning his web above her.

She is so startled that she startles the spider too.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she whispers automatically.

The spider hisses something and Harry decides to call it a night. She must be tired; she knows spiders don’t make a sound.

.

The next night, Harry realizes it wasn’t exhaustion talking. She could hear more than the spider this time. She could hear the birds warbling clearly and the rats squeaking. She couldn’t hear them before. The faint hissing by the flowerbeds are the snakes.

She realizes with elation that her exercises are bearing fruit.

.

The first time she hears a mouse speak, she’s cooking breakfast with bleary eyes and trying not to yawn too wide.

The mouse complains too, about the lack of food, how clean the house is and the difficulty of getting scraps these days.

It speaks in a gravely, deep voice that makes Harry squeak with surprise, eyes going wide as she tries not to drop the spatula.

Do you mind? the mouse demands. She can vaguely see the edge of his whiskers behind the stove top. The missus has been crazy for some eggs.

Harry swallows and manages to say, “Help yourself,” in faint tones.

She cooks breakfast twice. One for the mice and the other for her relatives.

All the while, the feeling of surrealism fades away under the onslaught of giddiness.

.

She speaks and speaks to the animals, but she never forgets how to listen. The book had emphasized it. It’s a wonderful thing, to understand animals. She never realized how lonely she was until she started hearing the animals talking.

Usually to each other but sometimes, they include her too. The spiders had been especially chatty about Dudley and his large feet breaking nests left and right.

It made Harry slightly self-conscious of where she steps, to ensure she isn’t offending anyone.

.

Harry’s favorite among all of the animals she speaks to are the birds.

It’s not difficult for her to get out of the house; the garden is Aunt Petunia’s main pride and glory. Taking out the weeds takes most of her time, along with trimming the hedges and sweeping the leaves. In-between, she listens to the birds talk to each other in high, chirping voices.

Birds usually talk about food, their nests and their nestlings. Or occasionally, their mates. Some topics made Harry blush, but after a couple of weeks listening to bird talk, Harry’s blush melts away from desensitization.

Harry speaks to them in-between stuffing the weeds in the garbage bag, asking them if the weather was okay for their nests.

The birds always act pleased at the question, preening with a, “Perfect as it could get. The chicks don’t like the wet, I love summer. Don’t you?”

One bird that keeps dropping her berries is a kingfisher.

“You need to eat more,” the kingfisher chirps severely. “You nestlings need to grow bigger before the Big Cold.”

Harry doesn’t say anything and just gratefully accepts the berries.

.

When Hagrid comes with her Hogwarts letter, Harry is not as surprised as she would have been.

She had discovered Speakers by browsing through children’s stories and hippy love books in the Public Library. A hidden society that vomits out letters if it doesn’t get to the right recipient is nothing special.

Nothing special, until she sees the goblins.

“Hagrid,” she whispers to the big man. “Do goblins identify as animals?”

Hagrid looks at her sternly. “No, Harry. Don’t use that word. The better term to use would be beast, but the more accurate one is humanoid creature.”

But that isn’t her point. “But they have their own language?”

“Gobblydook,” he says gruffly.

The idea of animals, creatures having their own language thrilled Harry to the core. She promises herself to look it up as soon as she could.

.

Ron’s rat doesn’t answer her, and the thought disquiets Harry more than she thought it would. Maybe magical animals are just different?

Whatever the difference was, Harry is soon distracted by the fact that Ron clearly came from a large family and that he found being an only child fascinating.

They traded stories back and forth.

By the time lunch arrived, they had become fast friends, which is why Harry doesn’t hesitate to answer when a timid voice said, “Oh no, I’m lost,” Ron looks confused which meant only one thing.

Harry blinks and looks down. It’s a toad. “Oh, so you are. Your owner must be looking for you.”

Neville shows up a few minutes later, looking tired and miserable. He brightens up at the sight of the toad.

And then the most beautiful girl shows up behind Neville and Harry feels her tongue stick to the roof of her mouth.

Oh no.