Mar 23
Queer, fat, AND in the arts…. my existence is rebellion. And I will keep fighting for it!
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Queer, fat, AND in the arts…. my existence is rebellion. And I will keep fighting for it!
I literally got back from my family holiday about ten hours ago and now in ten hours I'll get my A Level results. I'm surprisingly calmer than I thought I'd be. I'm nervous and I'm hoping I've done well but I've not got my hopes up. It isn't an excuse for failing (if I have) but the last twelve months have been the hardest of my life and I was too busy trying to fight them alone. I don't know if it's my sudden love for life or the overwhelming appreciation I have for my amazingly strong friends but tomorrow doesn't seem daunting because I know I can fight my way through harder things and I know I'm not alone and that people will help me to do the best that I can. I get now that my best might not be the same as other people's but everybody has different battles to win and some people's victory might be an A or a top university or amazing achievements in their chosen field and other people might just have that knowledge that they made it another day and that the sky is suddenly seeming a little brighter. No victory is better than the other. It's a victory and your best might not always be what you need or what you wanted but it never really matters there's always another way and there's always a reason.
Those days
Today is just one of those days. I'm happy it's almost over. Tomorrow always has the chance to be better.
Can I get mushy for a second?
so I usually ignore anything special that facebook offers because no. but I looked at my 2013 in review thinger and it was actually kind of awesome. It had a lot of Brazil and some good times from when I came home. Actually the very first thing was a status from March 13 that said: "Dear life, Thanks <3 Love, Tali" And I don't really remember what happened that day (although I guess I have some idea... I'm gonna go search through my travel blog after this!) but I must have been grateful and happy at some point. And to be honest, I was grateful and happy the whole time I was in Brazil, but it got muddled by stupid shit and research anxiety and the 11 fucking dogs that lived next door and would never shut up. But honestly, 2013 was great. It was hard as hell and I thought it would break me, but it didn't. And now I have a whole lot of shit to do in the next few months to ensure a good start to the rest of my life and I really can't fuck it up!! So when I get all mopey or scared or self-doubty, I hope I remember that stupid facebook year in review and remember that I had the best fucking time in the world and who knows what will happen this year. Or you fools can remind me. that's what followers are for right? I don't know. All you people are my friends in real life so DO YOUR DAMN JOB AND HUG ME.
<3