I Will Not Be Silenced
I have only recently been sharing my story with others publicly. I have been raped 3 times and have had people attempt to rape me and have been sexually assaulted several times separate to those rapes. In the short time I have been speaking out I have had multiple people write to me to tell me to shut up about it. I even had someone tell me to go fuck myself. These are part of the reason I will continue to speak out. We cannot sweep rape under the rug. It isn’t something to joke about or to feel shame over. It was not my choice and I will not be made to feel shame. So many men and women suffer alone because they have no support or feel that it is somehow their fault. That was what I thought for a very long time. I thought that because I had been drinking, or because I wore a short skirt, or didn’t scream out, that it was my fault. I am now 30, almost 31 and only now am I coming to the realization that it is not my fault, I am not to blame.
Support those that come to you with their pain, don’t shame them or shut them up. We need your support. I have a wonderful support system for the most part, but even my own mother wouldn’t believe me when I told her that as a child I had been raped. She says I must be remembering it incorrectly. This is not the case. When I told her I had been raped as a preteen she was mad that I hadn’t told her for so many years. She remembers and chooses to believe what makes her conscience feel OK. I know she loves me but she does not support me. Be there for your loved ones, your family and friends. Believe them when they tell you something horrific has happened. Love them out loud and support them with everything you say, to them and to others.
It makes me sad that others feel the need to shame me for telling people my truth. We live with this bizarre rape culture that seems so archaic in 2017. I wonder why things are still hushed up and why people think that it should be something no one speaks of. Only by speaking up are we able to start effecting change in our societies. I will take every beating and every slur and use it as fuel to my fire. I will always speak up for myself and others who have suffered. Rape is not ok. It will never be ok. Nothing will change with silence. No one can silence me now that I know my worth. I will be here for others who need someone to be strong for them. I am a warrior and I will be a warrior until my last dying breath.
I WILL NOT BE SILENCED.
