'I don’t want to talk about Aimeric,’ said Laurent. ‘Or my uncle.’ Laurent began to come forward. Damen was aware of him as he was aware of the badge he had removed, like a piece of armour discarded too early. Laurent said, ‘I know you’re planning to leave tomorrow. You’re going to cross the border, and you’re not going to come back. Say it.’ ‘I—’ ‘Say it.’ ‘I’m going to leave tomorrow,’ said Damen, as steadily as he could. ‘I’m not going to come back.’ He drew in a breath that hurt his chest. ‘Laurent—’ ‘No, I don’t care. Tomorrow you leave. But you’re mine now. You’re still my slave tonight.’
Prince’s Gambit, C.S. Pacat
I have been confused about why Laurent slept with Damen at Ravanel, what exactly his goal was. I now realize that this passage says it all. He has fallen slowly, impossibly, in love with Damen under his “Akielon soldier turned slave” disguise that hid his identity as Prince Killer just enough to let Laurent build something. After Damen won Fortaine for him, using the same method he had used at Marlas when he killed August, Laurent takes a huge step in forgiving him, because he sees it as the strategic move that it is. Then, he is elated by his first victory against his uncle, his abuser. He is in this mood, mixed with the knowledge that Damen will be leaving him soon and the pretense will shatter even in his own heart, when he lets Damen kiss him.
Then, their kiss is broken by bad news. News that ultimately brings the Regent back into Laurent’s mind in the worst ways possible. And yet, Damen is ever there ,doing and saying exactly what he needs. After he has calmed down, thanks of course to Damen, he goes to find him.
It is, after all, the last time he believes he will be able to love Damen, and after the talk of his uncle and Aimeric, I believe he wanted to reclaim his sexuality and his control.
