Hello I saw that you are doing requests, would you be willing to write a Star Wars The Bad Batch Crosshair x A reader who is going blind?
I know absolutely nothing about blindness but I tried. That's why I kept is a vague as possible. Sorry, that Cross is so ooc. I have a hard time writing him but I really tried. I had a blast writing this. I hope you enjoy! Warnings: one!fuck and one!shit, soft!crosshair
When you woke up that morning you had to take a second for yourself. You sight had gotten worse again and you bit your lip to stop yourself from crying. It's okay. It's okay. You would manage. Please don't cry.
A muffled hiccup escaped you and you could hear a rustling from Hunters bunk. He had noticed. Of course he had. But he choose to let you be, knowing you would come to them if you wanted to talk.
Angrily you pressed your palms into yur eyes. Enjoying the pressure and light pain but especially the stars that started dancing before them.
Fuck. You would soon be useless to the bad batch. What would you do then? They wouldn't drag dead weight with them.
As quietly as possible you sat up and got dressed, careful not to wake the boys. Today was one of the rare free days and you wanted them to sleep as long as possible.
You were pretty sure, that today was the first free day they had had in years. And they only agreed because you practically begged Hunter to rest a day.
You whispered nearly inaudible: "Going for a walk."
You knew hunter would hear you and if the boys didn't know where you were all hell would break loose. Not because you weren't allowed to leave, but their worry would get the best of them.
You let your gaze linger on the long, scrawky figure of Crosshair for a few seconds, then the door closed behind you.
The boys knew of your condition and hadn't yet indicated that they would get rid of you once you were completely blind but you refused to hold them back. Once your sight was bad enough you would leave them.
Your exhale left frosty clouds in the crisp morning air and you shivered. The planet, whatever it was called, was warm during the day but at night the temperatures would always drop below the freezing point.
Determined you turned towards the mountain behind the ship and decided you would climb it. To hell with your eyes, you would manage.
Carefully feeling for edges you could use to pull yourself up you started your ascent painfully slow. You bit your lip and choose not to get frustrated. Please, just manage to do this little thing. Hunter had mentioned a little ledge they could use to look for unwelcome visitors. You would reach it. You had to.
With your limited sight it was a very slow process and soon you felt tears of frustration gather in your eyes. You didn't know why but you were sure that you would loose it if you failed to reach the ledge. You needed to get something done. Something you had managed with ease in the past.
You didn't want to think about how high above the ground you were when you finally felt your tears spill. A sob escaped you and aggressively you pulled yourself up another few centimeters.
When you finally reached the ledge after what felt like hours you cried again but out of relief. You curled into a ball and let the sobs shake you. You had done it. You were still helpful.
You strained your eyes to see where the edge was. Concentrating to the point of a headache, you carefully reached with your hands and sat down at the edge, letting your legs hang over it.
Your eyes hurt trying to take in the view and you soon decided to just enjoy what you could still see instead of concentrating so hard you couldn't relax at all.
It was still breathtaking even tho decidedly less so than before. Shit, you needed to stop to think about before.
You could hear the wheezing breath of someone else climbing up the rock and hastily wiped your cheeks to rid yourself of any residing tears.
It was Crosshair. Why did he decide.. Oh right. The lookout. He was the one with the sharpest eyes, he was the one to check your surroundings. He pulled himself up with ease, you noted bitterly, sitting beside you without hesitation.
You kept staring forward unwilling to look at him and only see a shadow of what was your favourite sight.
You noticed him scanning the surroundings and expected him to start climbing down soon after.
To your surprise he stayed. Maybe something unusual had caught his eye.
At least that's what you thought until you heard his silent sharp voice.
"Are you okay?"
Immediately you nodded. "Yeah, of course. I mean why wouldn't I be?"
You heard him snort and finally chose to look at him.
"You don't need to talk, sweetheart, but don't lie to me."
His hard voice betraying the softness of his intentions.
You smiled. "Sorry Cross. Just frustrated."
He hummed and stayed silent. A quiet invitation for you to talk to him. You were proud of being able to finally read him after all the time you had spent with the batch.
"It's gotten worse again."
You missed his sharp inhale. You couldn't see the furrowed brows or his incredibly soft expression. He only dared to be this open because he knew you couldn't see it.
"I'm just wondering, when will it be bad enough for you… you all to leave me behind."
His silence stung. But then again he never spoke much.
He chewed on his toothpick, carefully, thoughtfully.
"Sweetheart, we won't leave you behind."
His words were soothing but a bitter laugh escaped you.
"Yeah? And what will you do? Take a useless, disabled girl with you?! Soon I won't be of any use!"
You voice had risen in volume and you flinched back at your own shout. "Sorry Cross, didn't mean to let this out like this."
He took a measured breath. "You won't be useless."
"Hm? I won't be able to do my job anymore."
He flicked his toothpick over the edge and watched its fall to the ground.
"You aren't only useful because of your work. You are precious to us, because you take care of us."
You held your breath, in awe that the silent man was talking this much to you, because of you.
"You help Echo sleep, when nightmares plague him. You listen to Tech talk and talk and talk when no one of us can be bothered anymore. You soothe Hunter when everything is too much. You share Wreckers enthusiasm, make him feel normal and not too big, too loud. You mean the world to us. You mean the world to me."
Gathering all your courage you asked: "What am I doing for you"
He chuckled. You had never heard his chuckle sound so warm. "You keep me in check. You ground me when I feel like chewing everyone out. You help me deal with my anger. You warm my heart sweetheart."
A bright genuine smile lit up your face and Cross couldn't help but smile too.
Very, very slowly he reached for your hand and laid it against his cheek.
"You won't ever be useless."
His face turned towards your palm and he pressed the smallest of kisses there. Stunned you pulled him towards you and leant your forehead against his. His breath fanned your lips and you felt yourself shiver.
"Careful Cross. I might just think you have feelings for me."
Against everything you expected you heard a silent laugh. "Shut up."
And then his lips were against yours. Your breath caught in your throat and when his teeth caught your bottom lip you were just about ready to faint.
He pulled back, sofly brushing his thumb against your cheek and finally let go.
"Do you get it? We… I won't ever leave you behind.
You carefully reached for him, hesitating.
"Can I?"
He hummed in approval and slowly your hands found their place on his cheeks. You couldn't see the fluttering of his eyes but you felt his lashes against your thumbs that rested on his cheekbones.
"Cross?"
"Hm?"
"I think you have to carry me down if you don't want me to fall to my death."
A quirk of his lips.
"If you tell anyone how sappy I am, I will push you down myself."
Your laugh felt good, free, the heavy weight lifting off your chest.