#reader submitted quote

[incorrectmeangills]

*Scott and Martyn skipping stones on lake*

Scott: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Martyn, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

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[incorrectmeangills]

Scott: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

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[incorrectmeangills]

Scott, at Martyn's funeral: I need a moment with them.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

Scott, leaning over Martyn′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Martyn: Yeah, no shit.

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[incorrectmeangills]

Martyn, teaching Scott to drive: Okay, you're driving and Cleo and Jimmy walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?

Scott: Oh, definitely Jimmy. I could never hurt Cleo.

Martyn, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

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[incorrectmeangills]

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Scott*

Scott: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

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[incorrectmeangills]

Jimmy: What are you getting Scott for the holidays?

Martyn: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Gem: I'm getting Scott a divorce lawyer.

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[incorrectmeangills]

Scott: I eat cheerios because they’re heart healthy.

Scott: And my heart has been severely damaged, so Martyn, if you’re out there—

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[incorrectmeangills]

Martyn: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

Scott: ...

Martyn: Oh, right. The lying.

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