Yeah I mean you’re not wrong 😮💨
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Yeah I mean you’re not wrong 😮💨
Im like, 1/4 way through Twilight. Why is Edward always smirking and smug. And why is Bella obsessing over people being pale.
bella swan is a VICTIM
Reading Midnight Sun: Chapter 2
The chapter starts with Edward staying with the Denali, the cousins of the Cullens. We learn that Tanya really wants to have sex with Edward, but he’s not into her, because he's a good mormon boy and he's doesn't think about girls that way. It would be wrong ! That doesn’t stop her from trying to get into his pants. Edward proceeds to describe her sex life.
Mostly, Tanya preferred human men—they were much more populous for one thing, with the added advantage of being soft and warm. And always eager, definitely. [...] Unlike Carlisle, Tanya and her sisters had discovered their consciences slowly. In the end, it was their fondness for human men that turned them against the slaughter. Now the men they loved… lived.
Holy Shit. That’s terrifying. (Bitchy Evil blonde moment #3). Stephanie Meyer really should write horror.
Edward could stay with the Denali indefinitely, as Tanya offers. They like him, they have the same diet, and he gets on with them reasonably well (impressive, considering how many people Edward despises, honestly). In fact, Edward only has to keep three people out of his head, as opposed to hundreds or thousands, since they live in Alaska. However, Edward feels like a coward because he ran away from Bella, so he decides to go back, even though it would put Bella in danger. That's literally his only reason. He doesn't want to run away. Edward is already unhealthily obsessed.
The Cullens don’t care about human life counter: 2
Edward decides to go back to school, after having missed six days. This makes Alice, the future seeing sister, paranoid and desperately scanning the future for any sign of danger, making Edward feel very stifled.
I hated being the focus of their concern. I felt a sudden sympathy for Jasper, remembering all the times we’d hovered protectively over him. He met my glance briefly, and grinned. Annoying, isn’t it? I glowered at him.
This could lead to an interesting bonding moment, where Edward understands what it means to be Jasper and gains a new perspective on life, growing as a person, and where Jasper could help Edward cope with his thirst, giving him tips or even only understanding.
It doesn’t happen, of course. Edward isn't allowed to grow as a person.
The next few pages are filler of the Cullens chilling in the cafeteria. Bella is clearly anxious about going to biology with Edward, and doesn’t eat, which makes Edward feel protective and jealous that Mike Newton is protective, for some unfathomable reason.
Of course, not everyone has the same opinion on what Edward should do.
“Why push it, Edward?” Jasper asked. Though he didn’t want to feel smug that I was the weak one now, I could hear that he did, just a little. “Go home. Take it slow.”
“What’s the big deal?” Emmett disagreed. “Either he will or he won’t kill her. Might as well get it over with, either way.”
“I don’t want to move yet,” Rosalie complained. “I don’t want to start over. We’re almost out of high school, Emmett. Finally.”
The Cullens don’t care about human life counter: 3
In their following class, Edward and Bella have a conversation about why she came to Forks.
Edward shows that he knows nothing about humans, or people in general. In fact, Bella asks him how he knows to call her Bella (and not Isabella), and Edward is confused about why she asks, for a while, until
I felt a pang of unease. It was very quick of her to pick up on my slip. Quite astute, especially for someone who was supposed to be terrified by my proximity.
Oh, yes. Bella is a genius to be wondering how he knows about a nickname she never gave him. She’s also a genius to wonder how Edward changed his eye color a few lines later.
Edward becomes fascinated by her over the course of the conversation. The problem with this is that their conversation has nothing mysterious in it or out of the ordinary. Bella moved to Forks so her mother could travel with her new husband. It’s not that complicated. The fact he can’t read her mind is the only reason he cares. Bella also explains she hates Forks because it’s wet and cold.
She made a face, her eyes narrowing and her mouth twisting into a lopsided frown, and she looked back toward the front of the class. She didn’t like it when I guessed right. She wasn’t the average martyr—she didn’t want an audience for her pain.
She’s not like other martyrs, you see.
I was not used to being the less intuitive of any pairing. I relied on my extra hearing too much—I clearly was not as perceptive as I gave myself credit for.
Clearly.
In Spanish class, Emmett insists it doesn’t matter if Edward kills Bella, and then, they all go home.
Conclusion
I’m not so sure what the scene with Tanya was meant to show us, apart from Edward refusing a gorgeous woman, which makes Bella extra special. This reminds me of Twilight, where there would be scenes and scenes of useless information, like if an editor hadn't one it's job.
We learn that Edward lacks self reflection very much, in a very seventeen year old way. In fact he forgot what he thought about Jasper just a chapter earlier (that he should quit trying to get better control, because he’ll never get better). This could be an interesting moment, where Edward and Jasper get closer because of a shared struggle, but it’s just… not. That's something that was one of Twilight's weakness. Despite it's very pretentious/dark academia aesthetic, it lacks depth and substance.
It also shows Edward's dramatic tendencies. Bella sacrifices her enjoyment of the weather for her mother's happiness (which is very nice, for a 17 year old, but not extraordinary, since it's not like she's going in a labor camp), and she becomes a martyr.
Reading Twilight - Chapters 21 - Epilogue
Chapters: Preface&1, 2, 3&4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9&10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15&16, 17, 18-20, 21-Epilogue
Phone Call
I finally googled what exactly VCR was, because I have no idea. Like, I think we may have owned one when I was a toddler.
Oof... this is bad.
I totally don’t blame Bella for breaking apart at this moment. Holy fuck. At least she’s an only child.
I’m like... genuinely freaked out. Like, even knowing this is fake and he probably used her old home videos or something, SMeyer can apparently write pretty decent horror, when she’s not obsessing over angelic teenagers. But I guess when women write fantasy it has to be a young adult romance.
Hide-and-seek
Damn, good one, girl.
If that’s how you chose to spend your potential last hours alive, I have no problem with that.
Called it with the home video.
Alice backstory, yay.
But also, like... fuck this dude. SMeyer should have definitelly been a horror writer.
Aaand, fade to black.
An impasse
I had nothing to say to the last chapter. I certainly liked it more than the in-and-out-of-consciousness scenes in S&S, if that counts for something.
“I’m sorry I taste so good.” I get that you’re kinda fucked up now, but that’s weird, even for you.
“Alice had a lot of fun fabricating the evidence” Good for her.
Sooo... her mom married young and now thinks any relationship before 35 is gonna be horrible and fail... or something. I’d buy it more if it didn’t sounds so fucking cartoonish. But what do I expect from a Mormon author, I guess.
Bella is being decently logical. He’s being emo.
This little religious emo is going be the death of me, holy fuck.
An occasion
Alice, that sly little vixen. Guilt-tripping your future sister-in-law/crush into letting you play dress up with her, while she’s injured. That’s... definitelly something.
The angry doggos are gonna be watching, got it.
Angela went and got her short king, I see. Good for her.
He’s being emo again. Fucking kill me already.
Also... proms are evil incarnate and I hate them with seething passion. I’m 100% with Bella on that one. And Edward can go suck ass for doing that to her. (No, like literally, go eat a donkey and don’t do that shit to her again).
And, that’s it. I’m done with this book.
Final thoughts:
It was not as bad as I expected.
Like, maybe I have low standards, but like... it’s not bad? There’s definitelly some garbage, but not nearly as much as I’d been lead to believe. It has it’s WTF moments and Bella’s Edward obsession is kinda concerning, but like... it’s okay?
As I’ve said many times before, I’ve hated Siege and Storm much more than this. I’ve hated the Grisha books in general a lot more than this.
At it’s worst, Twilight is annoying and the characters made dumb life chocies, but that’s about it. At it’s worst, the Grisha books are straight up ignoring genocide in favor of a shitty romance story (and yes, to fill the meme, Twilight is a better love story than Malina and I will fucking fight you on that from now on).
So I’m doing Twilight now #18. Let’s talk about Elfquest.
Getting real for a moment, I’m not as thoroughly “the hell was Meyer tripping on” about the imprinting business as the rest of the critical internet (by which I mean some old snarky commentaries + Dominic Noble).
I suspect this is mainly because I’ve been reading Elfquest since primary school, and Elfquest has the suspiciously similar concept of Recognition. It is similar both in how it is described (”soul meets soul when eyes meet eyes”) and - at least if Sam and Billy’s theories are correct - in the purpose being a genetically superior procreation. There is also the curious coincidence of it happening with the werewolves in Meyer’s story while Elfquest is mainly centred on the Wolfriders who arguably experience Recognition on an entirely different level thanks to the soul names being in play.
There are two big differences, of course. The first being that Elfquest made it thoroughly clear that all the time procreation is the purpose then good lord it won’t happen to literal children and requiring some adult to just wait around for them to grow up first. Even if it probably isn’t as concerned when working within the other definition of “child”. (Strongbow was originally Moonshade’s son. You’re welcome)
The second one being that for all that Elfquest romanticised the everliving hell out of the lifelong soulmates, it also made it very clear that yeah, this has the potential to be fucked up. Cutter and Leetah’s recognition makes up a solid quarter of the original quest, and the reason it takes so long is that Leetah as the first elf in history REFUSES recognition, out of pure stubborn anger that her choice was taken away from her.
Leetah only accepts Cutter after seeing Dewshine and Scouter together after she has saved Dewshine’s life
and the only other recognition to happen on-page until “Shards” was a later eccho in the same storyline. It’s Dewshine and Tyldak, which was just wrong on all levels
Wrong because - AS IS POINTED OUT IN-STORY - Dewshine herself is hardly more than a child at this point. Wrong because Tyldak is their enemy’s pawn. Wrong because it happend while the freedom-loving Wolfriders were held prisoner by Tyldak’s tribe, and there is no way in hell Dewshine is willingly staying in Blue Mountain. Wrong because the Wolfriders might see Tyldak as monstrous, but the Gliders view Wolfriders the way the Cullens view the werewolves.
And in the end - and note, this is the second ever recognition on page - Elfquest very quietly makes the point that ~destined soulmates~ are not enough to build a solid relationship on.
But if healing Dewshine was what made Leetah accept her Recognition, we need to discuss the event which first made Leetah realise that Cutter was more than a dog: Heeling Redlance after seeing both Nightfall’s devotion to him, and Cutter’s devotion to his tribe.
This being the second chapter of OQ, and it is brought up again in the second to last chapter, where Redlance is once again lost in the dark pit - from wounds to his soul, this time, and not his body. And where Nightfall does not need to rely on Leetah’s powers to save him as she finally says “fuck that noise” and becomes the first Wolfrider to bypass recognition as she shares her soul name with someone else.
I’m not above admitting that I’m a sucker for soulmate AU for all the dumbest and silliest reasons, because no matter how much my aroace ass might bitch about amatonormativity and singlism, I’m ready for any stupid romantic fantasy. There is, predictably, a subgenre of fic about “uh can we TALK about how super problematic that is”, but I have yet to find any such that I particularly like.
And maybe this is why: My first taste of soulmate stories was Elfquest, and Elfquest has been conscious about the unfortunate implications of that since 1979. We can have both, actually.
Help me collect some data to make an informed shitpost
I was going to make a post about something but I've thought it'd be a good idea to collect some data before doing it so I wouldn't be basing it on my opinion only.
So, if yall would be so kind and helpful to answer the question here about you favorite twilight character. Also if you could reblog this or send it to someone who'd be interested, I'd love you forever.
I know it's on google forms but it's completely anonymous. If you want to make sure, you can open it in an incognito tab.
i just read that charlie used to take the bullets out of his gun so that bella didn't accidently shoot herself as a kid, but he stopped doing that.
'I guess he considered me old enough now not to shoot myself by accident, and not depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose'
i've read new moon years ago, but he surely started removing the bullets again when she was depressed after edward had left her. he is a responsible father and i appreciate that a lot. it just breaks my heart that he has to see his daughter suffer and that he feels completely helpless about it.