To my son,
One day you’re going to grow up, there will be a last time I’ll ever send you off to school with your big dorky oversized school bag. You’ll kiss me goodbye for the last time without either of us even knowing it. You’ll run to me after school with open arms and a big smile, you’ll move out one day and walk out our door for the last time and god will I cry but my door will always be open for you, you’ll find someone to love more than life and start a family of your own one day- if you want to, I will love you regardless of that because I know how hard it is being a parent and I know it is not everyone’s dream, and that is OK but god I hope you get to feel the love I have for you, for your own children one day. I pray no one ever hurts you. I want to protect you with every ounce of my life. I hope you know how much I love you. How much I cry now holding you on my chest while you sleep at just 5 weeks of life on this earth, as I write this. There will be a last time you fall asleep in my arms, but my arms will always be open and ready to hold you tight should you need them. I don’t want you to grow up but I am so excited to see the man you become. I’m sorry sometimes you stare into mummy’s eyes with tears rolling down her cheeks, it is not a reflection of you, yet an undying overwhelmingness of wanting to give you everything I have in my cup, and I will- but my boy sometimes my cup is running on empty and I don’t know how to fill it back up.